by Phoebe Mills
Perhaps it wasn’t the men of Heart’s Hope Bay who were the duds. Maybe she’d driven them all away with her tunnel vision, too fixated on what she wanted to even consider someone else’s needs. No wonder she hadn’t found someone to share her life with. It was the cruelest twist of fate—that her overwhelming focus on the one thing she wanted could be the exact reason she wasn’t getting it.
Chapter Twenty-One
Abby had thought that her one great heartbreak had been the first time she and Carter had broken up back in high school, but now…this? It superseded prior events without comparison. And the ironic thing was, this time, they hadn’t even been a couple.
She felt so stupid, so naive and childish that she’d concocted this fantasy life in her head. One created with a man who apparently never wanted to be there in the first place.
It was their weekly art day, so everyone was at the Sunshine Corner. Gia, Jenn, and Savannah had all been staring at Abby with some form of concern nearly the entire day. Even Ollie had gotten in on the action, sticking close to Abby’s side as if he could sense her sadness. She hadn’t wanted to spill about what happened with Carter, but she hadn’t needed to.
Savannah had taken one look at her that morning, and she’d known something was wrong. She’d breezed into the house before dawn, like always, had taken one look at Abby, and narrowed her eyes while demanding, “What the hell did he do?” without so much as a hello.
Abby had merely shook her head, because she knew if she detailed the events of last night, she’d start crying all over again. And, though she should’ve been all cried out after the night she’d had, that wasn’t the case. She didn’t want to tempt fate. Besides, red-rimmed eyes and tear-streaked, blotchy cheeks weren’t exactly the face of a business called the Sunshine Corner, so she figured it would be prudent to keep a lid on it.
Even so, Savannah had persisted the rest of the day. Had, in fact, coerced both Gia and Jenn to get in on the action as well, each of them trying to make her spill with subtle questions meant to get her talking. Abby had held strong all day, but now as the evening was wearing on, their six o’clock closing time ticking closer and closer, her resolve was crumbling. The only kids left were the Jensen twins, and once they were gone, there’d be nothing for Abby to hide behind.
“It’d be better to just get it over with and tell me now. You know, while there are witnesses, since I won’t fly off in a rage and go after him if I have to take care of these kids,” Savannah said, her tone far too casual for homicidal rage.
Abby didn’t know if it was the long day, or the way her friends all looked on with concern that made her realize Carter had at least been wrong in one thing last night—she wasn’t all alone, save for her grandma. She had these amazing women in her life, who felt like family to her. Who cared about her and had her back, every day, without question or hesitation. Women she could count on to support her and to hold her up when it felt like she could barely stand on her own.
Because of that, her walls crumpled, along with her shoulders, the words flooding past the dam she’d erected to keep them locked inside. “I don’t know where to start…”
Savannah spun around and dropped to the floor, scooting close to Abby’s side. “Start at the beginning. Was it something he said?”
Abby looked down as she petted Ollie’s head where it rested gently in her lap as she sat on the floor. “Kind of…Carter was poking fun at Marco—”
“He what,” Gia interrupted, her once worried expression transforming into anger in a split second. Those pregnancy hormones were no joke.
Glancing up, Abby shook her head. “He wasn’t doing it to be mean. He just…he said that he thought Marco was a career guy like him.”
“What does that mean?” Jenn asked, her brow furrowed.
“It means he thinks everyone is an emotionless ass.” Savannah barely managed to muffle the last word in deference to the three-year-old ears across the room.
Abby swallowed down her nerves and continued petting Ollie, unable to meet any of her friends’ concerned stares. “He told me he’s never wanted to get married or have kids.”
She looked up in time to see the three other women exchanging glances, and Abby’s cheeks heated, her embarrassment over that confession nearly overwhelming. God, she was a fool, and now she wasn’t even a fool in private.
“And you thought that was in the future for you guys?” The quiet but confused question from Gia only made Abby’s cheeks flame hotter.
Hearing it come from her friend just reinforced how stupid it was that she’d thought it in the first place. After all, only someone who was so laser focused on having a family would start planning one with a man who wasn’t even sticking around. With a man who didn’t want it in the first place.
“I know it’s dumb,” Abby said, “and I feel like an idiot for it. I feel so stupid. Especially when he’s apparently never wanted it. I was fine with casual, until I wasn’t. And I guess I just assumed he was feeling the same way. And you know what the first three letters of assume are.…God, I’m so stupid.” She couldn’t bring herself to tell them what he’d thrown in her face last night—that she’d never even asked—too ashamed to do so. “Do you know how many guys I sent away because I held them up to his standard? And he never wanted me in the first place.”
“That’s not true,” Savannah said firmly. “He may be a lot of things—like a selfish prick—but there’s no mistaking that he wanted you, Abby. Then and now.” She wrapped an arm around Abby’s shoulders and tucked her into her side.
Abby shrugged. “Maybe. But it doesn’t matter. He’s leaving anyway, and I was an idiot for pretending otherwise. I just let it get me down, especially on top of everything else.”
“What do you mean?” Gia asked. “What else?”
Abby pressed her lips together and shook her head. She hadn’t meant to let that slip. She thought she’d have a bit more time…could stretch it out, at least until she figured out what to say to her friends, but it was no use keeping it a secret any longer. After all, they’d find out soon enough anyway. “I got an email last week from the state.”
“Okay…,” Jenn said, dragging the word out in a clear question as all three of them stared at Abby, their brows drawn in confusion.
Abby swallowed down her nerves and closed her eyes, unable to watch the looks of disappointment, frustration, and hurt that would no doubt cross her friends’ faces. “They changed the requirements for preschools. Before we can receive a preschool designation and begin accepting students, we have to be accredited now. And with the renovations that still need to be done, it’s not going to happen. There’s no way we can open on time.” She opened her eyes to the stunned faces of her friends. “We’d have to have a dedicated full-time contractor, probably a team of people. And, even with the fundraiser, I don’t have the money for that. Even if I did, I already know the two contractors in town are booking out for months.”
Saying it aloud made it all real, and Abby couldn’t stop her tears from falling, forgoing the composure she’d been working hard to maintain. She’d goaded Carter last night about his plans and goals, how they ruled his life, but she’d been living her life by those same principles. The only difference was that their outcomes were incongruent. She wanted a family, both a family she created with someone she loved and her family at the Sunshine Corner. And now it felt like both goals had been shredded, ripped up into a million tiny pieces, unable to be put back together again.
Savannah made a gruff noise of commiseration in her throat and hugged Abby tighter, whispering under her breath all the things she’d do, not only to Carter, but also to the State Board of Education. Her words were hushed so as not to carry to the two children still in the space, but they rang out loud and clear for Abby.
She closed her eyes and finally allowed herself to truly break, and to do so surrounded by the comfort of her friends. She felt Gia’s arms come around her, too, and then she was engulfed in honeysuckle—Jenn’s pre
ferred scent—suddenly surrounded by the family she’d made for herself. Not the one she’d spent her whole life wanting, but the one she needed the most when it counted. While they rocked her and held her tight, she let herself cry for the other family she wasn’t sure she’d ever have.
The scene was so reminiscent of the first time Carter had broken her heart—except now Abby had two additional people there to support her and hold her up—that the embarrassment she’d felt earlier reared its head once again. How had she allowed this to happen to her, not once, but twice?
“It’ll all be fine, Abby. We’ll figure out something. Maybe…” But Savannah didn’t continue, clearly out of ideas, much like Abby had been.
“Maybe Burt would like an exclusively commissioned painting of his family?” Gia said. “I could use that to sweet-talk him into shuffling you to the front of his commitments.”
Abby took the tissue Jenn offered her and dabbed at her eyes as Ollie gave her a kiss on her arm. “Burt’s getting a divorce, remember? And as amazing as your paintings are, I don’t think he’d work at cost for one.”
“Look, even if it takes another year, that’s okay. We’ll still be here. And the parents who put their kids’ names down…” Savannah trailed off, seeming to realize what Abby had during one of her many solo brainstorming sessions—that at least half of the parents who put their kids’ names down wouldn’t have kids in preschool next year. Savannah waved a hand in front of her face. “Whatever. We’ll find more parents. You know this is the place in Heart’s Hope Bay to go. This is where parents want to send their kids because it’s the best.”
Abby hoped Savannah was right. It was true that they always had kids on their waiting list, parents hoping something would happen to cause a slot to open up, so maybe they wouldn’t have any issue filling those spots whenever they were able to open.
“And I hate Carter for doing this to you in the same week,” Savannah said. “He’s a complete ass. But you have us. And we’re better than a stinky boy anyway, aren’t we? Except for Ollie, of course.” Savannah cooed at the dog, bending to press their heads together and scratching under his chin. She received a lick on the nose for her efforts.
Through her tears, Abby forced out a chuckle and nodded, even if it felt all wrong. She loved her friends, loved that they’d pulled together to support her when she needed it, but…she loved Carter, too. There was no more denying that, and that only made her tears fall faster.
Vaguely, she registered the doorbell ringing and Jenn shuffling the two remaining kids out to the front, leaving her, Savannah, and Gia huddled together as Abby cried.
She didn’t know how long the four of them sat there, Gia’s and Savannah’s arms around her with Jenn’s hand resting on Abby’s knee right next to Ollie. They whispered words of encouragement interspersed with rants about what a jerk Carter was and the nerve of those people at the state. None of it seemed to help as much as just knowing she had these women to lean on when she needed the support.
Sometime later, Hilde came into the great room to find the four of them huddled together, and she rushed over, hands hovering in midair. “What’s going on here? What’s wrong?”
Abby just shook her head, unable to bring herself to tell the whole story again, too exhausted to relive it so soon after she’d spilled her guts the first time. Instead, Savannah gave Hilde a very condensed version of the events, tossing in some colorful swear words to liven up the retelling.
Once Savannah had finished, Hilde huffed and held out another tissue for Abby, a scowl on her face. “It sounds like you’ve had one hell of a week, honey. I can’t do much about that email or those ridiculous new requirements, but I can do something about Carter, especially since this is all my fault.”
“Grandma,” Abby said. “How is this all your fault?”
“If I hadn’t done that love spell for you after your last blind date, none of this would’ve happened.”
Abby smiled and shook her head. “I think this was inevitable with or without your full-moon ritual.”
“Well…” Hilde sniffed and crossed her arms. “I’ll be damned if I give that boy a single slice of cake if he has the nerve to show up at my birthday party.”
For the first time in days, Abby genuinely laughed. Yes, it was laughter through her tears, but sometimes baby steps were good enough after the week she’d had.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Abby had never been more grateful for her grandma still wanting to celebrate every birthday, even at seventy, than she was this particular year because it meant she had something to focus on besides all the turmoil in her life.
A week had passed since she’d last seen Carter, almost two since she’d gotten the email from the state, and she was no better off now than she’d been in the first place. She still had no answers as to what she’d do for the preschool. And since her and Carter’s fight, he hadn’t been back to help with anything. Luckily, Google was on her side…and so were her friends. They’d stayed late nearly every night, working to finish the drywall. The walls may not have been as clean or as seamless as a professional would have done it, but at this point in time, Abby didn’t have many options left, so she certainly wasn’t going to be picky.
Once again, the town of Heart’s Hope Bay showed up at Last Call for one of the Engel girls. But this time, the only money they were asked to give was in the form of buying umbrella drinks for Hilde.
Across the bar, her grandma laughed uproariously, clapping her hands in delight as a scantily clad man performed a singing telegram for her and the Bridge Bunch. Abby didn’t need two guesses to figure out who had arranged that. Mabel had always been the troublemaker of the group.
She couldn’t help but grin in response to her grandma’s joy, thrilled to see her thoroughly enjoying herself and relieved that her own smiles had been coming a little easier every day, one currently stretched across her mouth. Her grandma seemed to be having a fabulous time—at least when she wasn’t scowling at Carter from across the room.
Abby had no idea what would possess him to show up at the event tonight when he hadn’t even been dropping off or picking up Sofia from the Sunshine Corner, but she couldn’t concern herself with it tonight. She was busy making sure the hors d’oeuvres were continually stocked and that everyone was having a good time…most of all, her grandma. And well, if her grandma wanted to give Carter the stink eye every other minute, who was she to stop her?
“Oh, thank God you’re free,” Savannah said in obvious relief as she gripped Abby’s arm. “I promised Gia I’d stick to her side tonight, but the group she’s hanging out with is talking about nothing but babies. How much they pee, how much they poop, what color it is and what the different colors mean…”
“You’re really selling me on this,” Abby said dryly.
“I don’t have to sell you on it.”
“No? You thought you’d just drag me into this fun time?”
“Best friends suffer for each other,” Savannah said matter-of-factly, and Abby couldn’t help but laugh.
She hadn’t had a chance to say hi to Marco or Gia since the party had started, so she allowed Savannah to lead her by the arm to where the group stood in a loose circle, laughter ringing out.
“Seriously, though. Breastfeeding poops are the worst.” Susie, who’d graduated a year ahead of Abby and Savannah, laughed. She cocked her head and studied Gia. “You are going to breastfeed, aren’t you? You know it’s best for the baby.”
Abby snapped her teeth shut so loud, Savannah must have heard it, as she gave her a look out of the corner of her eye. Abby ignored her, instead focusing all her efforts on keeping her mouth shut. This wasn’t her circus or her monkeys. She wasn’t a mom—didn’t know if she’d ever be a mom. But she did know kids, and she did know women. And she knew that no matter how that baby got fed, as long as it was fed, it was going to be just fine. She’d never noticed until Gia had gotten pregnant just how judgmental and catty other moms could be. Abby was tired of it,
so she couldn’t imagine what Gia felt. But this was Gia’s battle, and Abby didn’t want to presume to talk for her friend, so she kept quiet.
Savannah, on the other hand, had no such qualms. “I’m not really sure why that’s any of your business, Susie,” she said in a saccharin voice, blinking innocently as she cocked her head.
The other woman sputtered and held up a hand to her chest in mock offense. “Well, excuse me. I was just curious.”
Gia shot Savannah a grateful smile before turning her attention back to Susie. She opened her mouth to speak, but Marco cut in before she got a word out.
“Actually, we’re going to do a combination breast and bottle, so I can help out in the middle of the night.” He slung an arm around Gia’s shoulders and tucked her into his side, glancing down at her with a fond smile. “I don’t want her to have to do it all on her own.”
Abby cringed internally, hoping beyond everything that Gia had taken her advice and talked with Marco about this. But from the slow, calculated way Gia turned her head to face her husband, quiet fury lurking just under the surface, Abby knew that was a futile hope.
With a fake smile plastered on her face, Gia said, “Oh, we decided that, did we?”
Marco seemed to pick up on the tension in his wife’s voice at the same time as everyone else around the circle. Without a word, the group dispersed as subtly as possible, but Abby and Savannah stayed, flanking Gia as she stood off against Marco. Abby was only distantly aware that Carter had come up at some point and now stood behind Marco, his brows drawn down as he watched the scene unfold.
“Seriously? We’re discussing this again?” Marco said. “I thought we hashed this out the last time we were here.”
“Just because we stopped talking about it does not mean we hashed it out. Unless, of course, you’re fine with the decision that I’ve made, which is to breastfeed exclusively.”
Marco groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. “Why would you do that? All I want to do is help. I don’t want you to be exhausted. And from everything I’ve read, you could spend more than half your day just feeding the baby! They typically breastfeed every two hours, and that’s from beginning to beginning, so who knows how much time you’ll actually have to sleep. If we give the baby a bottle too—”
