Crucible Crisis

by Amberley Faith

  An awkward silence ensued.

  "No, ma'am. I saw him myself on the way to our Thanksgiving luncheon. Like I say, I know you need yore rest, but I felt it was my duty to let you know. You are in our prayers. I'll let you go back to bed now." He was suddenly in a hurry to get off the phone.

  Ellie ran her hands through her hair. Julien had no sense of what was appropriate and what was not! She had told him over and over that in this little town full of gnats – perception was reality and that they needed to avoid any semblance of impropriety. What on earth was he thinking?

  Her thoughts began to simmer.

  Could Julien and Tai be working on photo shoot prep work? The last thing Ellie needed was the whole town talking about Tai and Julien again. She thought those rumors had been squelched for good after the grand opening. But what an idiot Julien could be! Ellie had clearly expressed that she didn't want him to be alone with Tai for this very reason – rumors.

  The simmering reached a slow, steady boil.

  Ellie couldn't believe Julien would put her job in jeopardy over some stupid photo shoot. Just wait until he gets home, she thought. He hates confrontations, but I am going to give him a piece of my mind!

  The violent roiling reached its maximum and threatened to spill over.

  This was ridiculous! Ellie had worked tirelessly to squelch the rumors swirling around them, and then Julien had to go and do something so utterly stupid! She took her dose of Benadryl and lay back on the pillow to fume. Before long, she dozed off.

  Ellie was sitting on the wooden pew of an old church. The congregation was dressed oddly; so was Ellie. They were in colonial clothing.

  As soon as the thought came, she felt the rough-spun cloth against her skin, heavy and scratchy. She reached up to rub away the prickling on the back of her neck and felt ties fastened at the base of her neck. She was wearing a bonnet, and all her hair was tucked underneath.

  A voice came from the front of the church. As soon as she noticed it, his muddled words cleared, and she heard his sermon - but as if from a distance. A man stood at the pulpit telling the congregation that they were all spiders dangling over the fiery pits of hell, but unlike Jonathan Edwards' calm delivery, this reverend screamed and shouted at the congregation.

  As he ranted and raved, a sense of despair and disgust settled over Ellie. She looked around at the crowd and saw Julien across the aisle sitting with his head hanging down. He looked tired, defeated – ashamed.

  Suddenly, the doors in the back of the church burst open. Ellie turned with the rest of the congregation. She saw a young girl enter the church carrying a basket of chrysanthemums and marigolds in shades of yellow and orange. Her braided hair swung as she skipped down the center aisle. She looked the perfect picture of innocence. Ellie couldn't see her face clearly, so she leaned over, straining to get a better view.

  When the young girl reached the end of the aisle just a few feet from the pulpit, she came to an abrupt halt. Her skipping stopped, and her flowers fell to the floor as she ducked, raising her hands over her head in defense. She screamed that demons were torturing her, demons that were sent by Elizabeth Proctor. Then, she pointed at Ellie.

  Ellie gasped at the bold, unfair, and unfounded accusation. Before she could even react, strong hands dragged her down the church aisle. Ellie twisted and turned trying to get away from the men who were pulling her to the pulpit. She meant to cry out for Julien, but the words that came out of her mouth were, "John – look after the boys! They'll be scared. You find a way to make it right!"

  Ellie struggled violently, thrashing and biting, but her movements were tangled in some type of restraint – a rope. When she made one last valiant attempt to break free from the unseen confinement, she jerked herself awake to find her right arm swinging as she struggled to escape the tangle of sheets that pinned the rest of her body.

  Ellie was instantly and completely awake, fury coursing through her veins. Maybe she wasn't being hauled off to jail in real life, but she was desperately tired of being hauled through the rumor mill by Julien's thoughtless actions.

  Ellie snatched her cell phone off the nightstand. She texted Julien fast and furious.

  Where r u?

  Smoking w/Tai downtown?

  Whole town is talking!

  No response. Ellie was so livid that even her dose of Benadryl couldn't knock her out. She flung off the bed covers and stormed downstairs figuring she might as well start some laundry to quench her anger. On her way out of the bedroom, she snatched up the useless beeswax candle and mug of herbs. They clearly had not worked. Her dreams were still bothering her, so into the trash they went. Despite her anger, she was glad she wouldn't have to swallow another drop of the disgusting tea

  ◆◆◆

  When Julien got home, Ellie sent the girls outside and launched her attack. "What were you thinking this past week? Being alone with Tai in full view of the public and smoking? All while I'm in a fog of medication and itching!?"

  Julien wasn't fazed. He shrugged. "Ma petite, we were simply taking a break from work. We went up to the roof and shared a smoke. It's not anything scandalous. Why do you let these small-town rumors bother you? Just ignore these pesky people. They have nothing better to do; they are simply bored and jealous." He reached over as if to embrace Ellie.

  She stepped back and continued, "Be that as it may, I don't want you alone with Tai. You know this. And since when did you start smoking again?"

  "Ellie, we shared a cigarette. That doesn't mean I've started smoking again. It was a social smoke, a stress reliever." He put one hand on each of her shoulders. "Think for a moment. I can't get everything ready by myself at the studio and at home while you are incapacitated. I need her help. Tomorrow we have our first photo shoot for the Johnsons. If I treat them well, I will get plenty of referrals. How could I prepare everything alone?"

  "Well, you're a resourceful man – you'll figure something out!" Ellie snapped. "Under no circumstances will I condone you being alone with Tai!"

  "What do you suggest I do?" He dropped his arms to his side, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You want me to let my first customers arrive for their appointment unprepared? Instead of starting the photo shoot, I'll just make them wait while Tai and I set up props. I'm sure they won't mind waiting. Yes, that's brilliant, cherie. I'll just explain that I needed a chaperone because my wife doesn't like to face rumors" He turned away from Ellie and headed towards his office.

  Ellie took a deep breath and followed him, "No, I don't like facing rumors, but that's exactly what I've been doing for four months. Stop encouraging them!" She was beginning to feel more tired than angry.

  Just then, the girls ran in wanting some lavender lemonade. After Ellie took them into the kitchen and served them, she went to take a shower to cool down. She hadn't been this exasperated with Julien in a long time, since before the girls were born. How dare he refuse her in this!

  Ellie entered the bathroom and did something she had never done before; she locked the door. She didn't want him to barge in on her and try to make peace. Her rage resurfaced as Ellie replayed the dialogue over again in her head. It bubbled over and spilled out as she cried hot, angry tears into the cool, steady stream of water.

  It was beyond ironic; the minute they moved to their dream life in the country, her personal life started falling apart. And what had that dream been about? Hallucination was probably a better term considering all the medicine she was taking.

  It was like she had been inside The Crucible, except it had felt real. She had been Elizabeth Proctor, and Julien had been John Proctor. They had two boys instead of two girls. Ellie had simultaneously been a participant in the dream and an observer; she saw the action from above, looking down at what was happening.

  Maybe she was focusing too much on work. Maybe that was the whole problem between Julien and her. They had not resolved their argument about Tai and had never arrived at a satisfactory agreement. He had not said what he was planning to do. The is
sue remained unsettled. If he did continue to work with Tai, what was Ellie going to do?

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  RUMORS RESURFACE

  During the next few miserable days, Ellie brooded. Not only was her entire week of Thanksgiving break being ruined by the poison ivy incident, she was pelted with rumors. Again. She wasn't safe from them in her own home anymore. They had taken on a life of their own; the rumors were a vicious, hungry predator flitting in and out of the shadows, steadily stalking Ellie.

  Ellie retreated to her anthology for comfort and escape. Since she couldn't focus enough in between bouts of Benadryl to make lesson plans for school, she furiously flipped past the folk remedies, looking for the journal entries of her newfound friend - EBP.

  How had Ebbie handled the ugly rumors facing her? What had she done? Had she confronted her husband in a time when husbands treated wives more like property than people? Had Ebbie looked the other way, quietly and obediently believing in her husband while the town mocked her? Or did she do as Ellie had done – pick a fight with her husband and touch on the issue without ever coming right out and asking him if he was having an affair?

  As she brooded, she thumbed mindlessly through the anthology. Ellie felt ashamed of herself. What a coward she was. Why hadn't she just come right out and asked Julien if he had feelings for Tai? What was she afraid of?

  If he did have a crush on Tai, at least Ellie would know the truth. The truth could be managed. If she could just get a clear diagnosis, the underlying disease could be treated.

  They could get counseling. They could get away – just the two of them – and work on their marriage. They could go on one of the marriage retreats their church advertised. Ellie could finally make Julien see that he needed to banish Tai from their lives to work on their marriage and their daughters.

  But part of Ellie knew why she didn't flat out ask him. If he admitted even a platonic crush on another woman, Ellie's world would crumble. It would destroy her. Her entire world would be rent asunder. She turned another page to redirect her thoughts.

  On the other hand, if Julien didn't have a crush on Tai, he would be so very hurt. Her doubt would baffle and disappoint him. It would be better to have faith in him and let him prove himself. Making a rash decision under the influence of so much medication might bring unwanted results. She would be mature, do the right thing, and believe in her husband's fidelity. She turned another page to refocus.

  Just then, she felt it – a light, tingling sensation on a page, begging for her attention. When Ellie looked down, she found another journal entry from Ebbie. Since discovering that the entries were not sequential, the only way she could keep track of Ebbie's story was to look at the dates for each entry. This one was from 4 April 1692, more than a week earlier than the very first entry Ellie had read about Ebbie and her colonial crisis.

  In that entry, Ebbie's sister informed her of stories going around the village about Ebbie's husband and the preacher's niece. Now, she would get to see Ebbie's reaction.

  4 April 1692

  After I watched my sister depart, I turned to my Bible and looked for guidance. He sent a sign, for when my Bible were in my hands, the Good Book fell open to a verse that spoke to my heart at once.

  Matthew 18:17. "If he shall neglect to hear them, then tell it to the church." Since speaking to my husband had gained me nothing but an icy hearth, I did go to find Reverend Parris to seek counsel. As it were his own niece involved in the gossip, I knew he would lead me in the path of righteousness, for his own sake if not for mine.

  So, Ebbie had talked to her husband after all. It didn't sound like she had gotten a satisfactory answer, though. And when Ebbie was at the end of her rope, of course, she would have turned to the church. That would be the only recourse available to her in those times. Ellie continued reading.

  The shepherd of our flock received me into his church although it were early in the day for services. I explained to him the tales that were spun by his niece's companions. I told him what shame it were bringing to my household.

  He listened to me with a hard heart. He offered no solace but reprimanded my pride. His niece could not be involved in any such darkness for her soul were pure as the driven snow. My heart, then, must be searched for seeds of envy and guilt. I must pray for forgiveness and "look to the log in mine own eye before regarding the speck in the eye of my neighbor."

  I left with a heavy heart for I knew that I had done no wrong. I have only been a faithful and loving wife. The reverend would not hear any accusations against his own kin. He would not confront his niece.

  Thus, I am forced to go to the darkest place of my soul. Since the Good Book holds no answers for me, I turn to another book – one I found in Abi's room under the mattress, one I suspect she stole from Parris' slave girl. This same book into which I pour out my heart.

  It has become my only comfort in this time of need. On the blank pages between family cures, I write the thoughts that I dare not speak. I keep my silence as a good Christian woman should do.

  I leave these words here in the hope that one day they will provide comfort for another. Women have a sorry lot in life. We bring life into the world - only for it to be smothered by the rule of men.

  I fear that men will never see the wisdom of women. They look to us as servants, here to keep their beds warm and their offspring healthy. I wonder if they do fear us having control of anything further than the home. As for the Reverend, it would seem so. He doth fear the power of lust that his niece awakens in men.

  Wow! Ellie thought. Ebbie might have been the first woman of her time to record such feminist thoughts! She would have to show this to Zyla. Zyla would know if this was unusual for its time. Ellie wanted to finish reading it first, though. Ebbie's situation was beginning to sound a lot like her own. Disturbingly similar, in fact. Somehow, Ellie wasn't surprised.

  I will end with a piece of advice perchance no one ever read, and that be a good thing, for them are not holy words of the Bible that follow. I confess that I did find a remedy in this very book, a remedy for all my suffering. If it were a sin to speak the invocation, then I pray God's mercy, for He alone knows my works upon this earth and whether I chose the path of the wicked or of the righteous.

  E.B.P.

  A dozen questions hit Ellie as she finished the passage. What happened to Ebbie? What happened to her husband? Where did the preacher's niece go? Had Ebbie ever passed the anthology down to her granddaughter as planned?

  What exactly had Ebbie meant by the invocation she delivered? Madame Margaux, spells, and charms came to mind, but Ellie cast them aside. The real question that was burning inside her, the overriding question of all -- what was the remedy that Ebbie had used?

  A longing so fierce that it brought Ellie's knees to her chest twisted Ellie's gut. She flung the book aside and tucked her head to her knees to control the knot growing in her belly. She felt a tightening, like a bracelet being drawn too tightly around her tiny wrist, and a pounding in her chest. Her breath came in short gasps as if she'd run a race. She was too hungry for the answer, the remedy Ebbie had written about. Was Ellie being naïve, desperate, deluded?

  Too much thinking. She sat back up. Time for action. Ellie grabbed the book and began searching for any possible "remedies" for a young girl tempting a married man.

  Ellie started at the very beginning of the anthology and skimmed each title searching for something that Ebbie might have used. She flipped past folk cures for everything from mosquito bites to fevers. There were recipes for breathing problems, headaches, snake bites, withering crops, sick livestock, drought, and more. Some of the recipes were quite simple and only required repeating a verse, burying a coin, or snipping a lock of someone's hair. Others appeared more complex and involved candles, exotic herbs and spices, specific times of night, specific phases of the moon - and salt. There always seemed to be salt.

  As she skimmed the remedies, Ellie thought of the little rhyme she had first discovered th
at night while working at the Jewel. The one about getting rid of "irksome pests." Should she put any stock in these simple words? Could words have power?

  Of course, they could. They had so much power, in fact, that Ellie was petrified to use them against Julian, terrified that he might destroy their marriage with five little words: I have feelings for Tai.

  Words were powerful; they could change fate, history, feelings – even life itself. Come to think of it, Ellie hadn't been bothered by the awful gnats since the night she uttered the words from the anthology, but that was due to the weather getting cooler. Her stomach squirmed, and her brain ticked.

  Ellie set the book aside again. She needed time to think. Just what, exactly, had she gotten herself into? Between her bizarre dreams about the play and the small-town politics that mimicked Miller's work, she felt downright alarmed.

  Maybe it wasn't time for action, after all. Before she rushed headlong into anything, maybe it would be good, for once in her life, to stop and think before she acted, and Ebbie's entry left her quite a bit to think about.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  BACK INTO BATTLE

  Ellie's itchy, miserable Thanksgiving break finally ended, and she recovered enough to return to school. She had never dreaded going to work like she did now. She couldn't place her finger on the exact cause of her dread. It wasn't entirely based on her feelings of doubt; the feeling was more like an ocean swell of anger, anxiety, and disappointment that was building, gaining both height and momentum, growing into an enormous wave. She shivered at the thought, wondering if she'd surf that wave and ride it into the shore, or if it would crash over her and send her roiling under its weight.