Crucible Crisis

by Amberley Faith

  As she made her way back to the house, Ellie finally admitted to herself that Julien's desire to play the hero to Tai's damsel in distress had turned into an unhealthy crush. Although it hurt her to think her husband could have feelings for a student young enough to be his daughter, Ellie felt certain that they could work through it.

  It wouldn't be easy. She had no illusions about that, but she knew that her love for Julien would be big enough to work through their problems. Thinking about what to say to Julien, she climbed the steps to the front porch.

  A sudden realization froze Ellie mid-step, however, with one foot dangling in the air. This time, the fury was icy hot. It crashed down on her like a bucket of ice water. Ellie felt the intense iciness creep through her veins and make its way to her heart. She grabbed ahold of the railing and set her foot back down.

  That little snake! Tai wanted Julien's attention back on her, so she'd faked a suicide attempt. What else could explain her quick recovery and her trip straight from the hospital to see him? Maybe she hadn't even been admitted to the behavioral health center. Maybe that had been another lie just to get Tai out from under public scrutiny, part of her poor-little-victim act. The conniving little weasel!

  She mulled over the idea, checking to see if her conscious-self agreed with what her unconscious-self had just shouted. The more Ellie thought about it, the more she believed that it had all been a sympathy ploy. Tai's pride was hurt. She wanted attention – specifically Julien's attention. What better way to get it than to appear weak and needy?

  Julien always had been a sucker for that. It was a wonder he ever married Ellie; she had never been the weak, needy type. She had merely been bowled over by his good looks and charisma.

  And the worst part was that Tai's ruse had worked! Instead of talking to his wife about their crumbling marriage, Julien was playing the hero, helping poor little victim feel better about herself. Ellie walked into the house and closed the door behind her. If Julien was so determined to be the knight in shining armor to Tai's damsel in distress, he could do it alone.

  She entered the kitchen and set down her book bag. She took out the cookbook. Ellie had underestimated her opponent. She should have known better – teenage girls were experts in melodrama. How could Ellie have forgotten?

  She took the anthology upstairs to her office and began flipping through the pages, letting her fingers feel their way to the proper recipe. She didn't rush; the chill in her veins strengthened her determination and focus. She’d seen the recipe in the hospital. Her frozen heart told her that now was the time to use it.

  Why had Tai returned? What had Ellie done wrong? The charm had worked for nearly six weeks, but now Tai was right back up to her old tricks, and Julien was falling for them. No, he was snorting them like an addict.

  Had Ellie's reticent belief made the spell ineffective? Because she didn't have any doubt now.

  No, the problem wasn't Ellie's lack of conviction. It was something about Julien. Ellie had intended the recipe in the hospital for Tai, but now she recognized that Julien also needed attention. The solution she needed this time would have to work on both sides of the problem – not just the Tai side.

  Tai was the Delilah to Julien's Samson. Ellie had never understood why Samson kept going back to Delilah after each betrayal. Why had Samson kept giving in? Didn't he realize Delilah would have his hair in the end?

  Ellie was still thinking Samson and Delilah when the book sent a jolt from her fingertips up her left arm. She glanced down and saw exactly what she needed.

  When a Man's Heart Has Turned

  Use this remedy to restore his devotion,

  Work quickly and surely to redirect his emotion.

  Read this once in a voice both loud and clear,

  Then bury it along with something you hold dear.

  As long as your treasure remains undisturbed,

  This charm will continue its work unperturbed.

  Without hesitation, Ellie zeroed in on "something you hold dear." She began a list of treasured items that would be small enough to be buried. It probably needed to be something valuable, too. She sensed a sacrifice on her part would strengthen the remedy. Another thought tugged at her head as if the book had reached out and pulled on her hair; the treasure needed to be something that represented Julien, too.

  An idea pierced her heart like an icicle to the chest. Her diamond wedding ring. She sucked in a breath. It was her only valuable piece of jewelry. Julien had bought it on the island where they met, but not for their engagement. They hadn't had the money back then. He bought it for her on their third anniversary, the day after she had announced she was pregnant with Méline.

  Ellie was not terribly vain, but she loved that sparkly diamond and the baguettes that surrounded it. She had always loved anything that glittered, shimmered, or sparkled - and Julien had chosen well. The diamond was big enough to cast mesmerizing prisms in sunlight, yet not garish.

  When her heart ached at the thought of sacrificing the ring, she knew it was the right treasure for the job. Her finger throbbed in resistance; she hadn't removed the ring in years, but eventually it gave way. She took the ring off before she could change her mind. She went downstairs and grabbed her garden trowel and used it to dig a narrow, deep hole in the soft earth. She recited the poem aloud in a clear, cold voice.

  When she finished, she ripped out the recipe and folded it around the ring, wrapping it like a gift. When she placed the tiny package into the hole, a light breeze caressed her. Her hair lifted slightly in the wind, and she shuddered as the draft turned from a pleasant warmth to an icy embrace. She covered her treasure with dirt, and as an afterthought, grabbed a hyacinth bulb from the garden shed and planted it on top to ensure the ring would not be accidentally unearthed.

  She tamped down the soil and watered the bulb, then put away her gardening things and entered the house. She walked into the kitchen. There Julien was, sitting at the breakfast table, chin resting in his hand, eyes glazed.

  Ellie cleared her throat. Julien shoved his hand into his pocket and turned to look at her. "Julien, have you figured out what Tai is doing yet? You don't seriously think she tried to commit suicide, do you?" She waited a beat. When Julien didn't respond, she continued. "It was all just a desperate plea for attention."

  At that, Julien looked up at her. "Well, she swallowed half a bottle of anti-anxiety pills, so that would be about fifteen pills. Sounds pretty suicidal to me."

  Ellie asked for the name of the medication and googled it for overdose information. She found what she expected – the prescription was not fatal or even terribly dangerous. That confirmed her suspicion. Tai had orchestrated the event to get Julien's undivided attention. How could they know if she had even swallowed the pills?

  Ellie told Julien about the pills not being dangerous. "Why do you think she swallowed the pills, Julien?" He didn't answer. "Do you know what everyone is saying at school? That I bullied her into attempting suicide!"

  Julien didn't reply. Suddenly, the fury she had felt earlier rose again and burst through her glacial facade. Ellie rounded on Julien. "Did you hear that? Your little petite amie just blamed her fake suicide attempt on me. And what are you doing? Falling for her desperate cry for attention. You are playing right into her hands!"

  Ellie whirled around with her hands in her hair and took a deep breath to calm herself. She summoned the icy chill from earlier to freeze over her anger. When heart was once again an iceberg, she started to walk out of the kitchen. At the door she turned back to say, "You two deserve each other," then went to her office.

  She sat at her desk and re-opened the anthology, stunned. What was going on? Was Julien more involved with Tai than she had guessed? It certainly seemed that way. Her mind raced with possibilities – none of them happy or healthy. She didn't know what she was looking for, but she knew the book would help her regain control.

  An icy gust of wind, much like the one in the garden, blew through the anthology-disguised-
as-recipe-book. The pages fluttered for a few seconds then stopped. When Ellie looked down at the pages' resting place, she saw a title that read:

  Past Deeds Revealed

  To look upon another's past

  takes focus and resolve,

  And an item of each person

  in the memory involved.

  Placed on this page and set aflame,

  look deep into the glow

  State the time, the place

  Through time you'll race

  And see what you want to know.

  Ellie thought for a moment. After burying the ring, she felt bound to the book. She was connected to it somehow. Should she try this next charm as well?

  She scoffed. What did she have to lose? Either she believed the charms in the book worked, or she didn't. And if she didn't truly believe they worked, why had she gone to the trouble of giving up her beloved ring? In for a dime, in for a dollar.

  Ellie glanced at the clock. She still had some time before Zibby brought the girls back from their music lessons. She looked downstairs. Julien was at his desk on the computer. His back was to her, and he didn't seem to notice her staring over the bannister at him. Wouldn't it be more mature just to flat out ask him what had happened? She hesitated.

  No, he'd probably tell her more half-truths or manipulate her into feeling guilty. How he managed to turn everything into her fault infuriated her. Since when had Ellie become so pliable, so weak? Had she been a fool to trust him all these years? He had never given her reason to doubt before. Why was it so different when Tai was concerned?

  Ellie made up her mind and stayed upstairs, entering the bedroom to rummage through Julien's things. What could she use of his? It needed to be something small enough to fit on the page, and it needed to be flammable. She considered going through his wallet to look for receipts, but that didn’t feel personal enough. She pulled a handkerchief out of his drawer. Would it burn?

  She took it to the bathroom and used a lighter to test it. The cloth didn't flame; it was more like a smolder. She tried dousing it with Julien's cologne. That didn't produce a flame either. She kept plundering.

  When she got to his bureau, she found what she needed. There, hidden among his socks, was a familiar blue, black, and white package of Gitanes Brunes. God knew he was a smoking snob; those French cigarettes were hard to come by now that production in France had stopped. He probably had to special order them from the Netherlands. She knew he had been lying about smoking with Tai. She removed three cigarettes in case one wasn't enough.

  Next, she looked for something of Tai's. An idea bloomed; several times she had been irritated to find a strand or two of Tai's long, blonde hair in her bathroom and kitchen after Tai had watched the girls. Ellie had been irate when she found one of those same long, blonde strands sticking to one of Julien's shirts earlier in the year.

  She rummaged through Julien's closet, hoping that Tai's shedding hair would be useful for once. Would hair burn? She thought she knew a way to ensure it did. She finally found one of Tai's long, blonde, wavy locks clinging to a sports coat of Julien's that was made of tweed. When had he last worn this jacket? Was it the night of the grand opening? It had been a chilly evening, and Tai had worked at the party – so Ellie couldn't be too angry that one of Tai's hairs had found a way to Julien's coat. At least she hadn't found the hair clinging to his undershirt - or worse.

  Ellie lifted the strand of hair and took it back to her office. Now that she wanted to be alone with her anthology, she was glad that they had decided to put one office upstairs and the other downstairs. It had initially served to keep a better check on the girls, but now it would provide Ellie some distance from Julien. She would hear him come up the stairs long before he'd reach her office, if he even bothered to check on her. All his concern seemed to be for Tai.

  And that was what bothered her the most. Why wasn't he more concerned about Ellie? Hadn't Ellie gone through enough to merit his attention? They’d made more emergency room trips since moving to Stusa than they had in their entire courtship and marriage put together.

  Why was Julien so emotionally distant? When had their troubles even started?

  Ellie thought it might have been around her last hospital visit, when the doctor pretty much accused her of taking herbs to cause an abortion, or at least prevent a pregnancy. Was that what had caused their turmoil? Had Julien really thought that Ellie would end a pregnancy? Maybe that was when the mistrust seeped in.

  Ellie ran her hands over her face and sat at her desk. She placed the cigarettes, the anthology, and the strand of hair on the desk top and leaned over to open the window. She opened the anthology and used Tai's hair to tie all three cigarettes together. She placed the cigarette-hair bundle on the open book page and grabbed her candle lighter. She re-read the instructions to make sure she knew what to do.

  Drawing in a deep breath, she lit the cigarettes. Sure enough, they caught the small flame from the lighter and began to burn. Ellie stared at the glowing embers and imagined what she wanted to see. Feeling foolish, she said in a whisper, "Pelletier kitchen table. One hour ago." Would that be specific enough?

  She waited. The hair began to burn along with the cigarettes. It smelled weird. She tried to fan the smoke out of the window. She re-read the instructions and was reminded to maintain her focus, so she gazed at the ember, trying to imagine Tai and Julien sitting at the kitchen table.

  She’d stared for so long that her eyes were beginning to cross when she noticed an image in the hazy smoke. It rose slowly from the burning bundle. She blinked. Was she imagining it, or was a grey face staring at her?

  She squinted her eyes. Yes, she could see an image. Tai and Julien were sitting in the kitchen, and Ellie was looking down on them. The more closely she looked, the more she saw. She could see the top of Tai's head and straight down her low-cut shirt. Classy.

  Just when she wished she could see better, the scene started to grow. It was like being picked up out of her office and dropped into her kitchen. The smoky grey images slowly filled with color and solidified. She could see and hear everything they were saying, and it wasn't making her feel any better.

  Julien had his arm around Tai and was consoling her as she cried.

  Ellie rushed over to the table in a fit of anger. How dare he? She grabbed at him, but her hands passed through him, or rather he passed through her hands. It was as if she were made of air. The shock that she wasn't in the room with them brought her anger to a pause.

  She looked at her arms, and they, too, were smoky, insubstantial appendages. They swirled as she tucked them back down by her side and stood back to listen. Tai and Julien were all too real; it was she, Ellie, who was made of fog, incapable of affecting the scene playing out before her.

  Tai's sobs grew louder and louder. She looked up with her tear-streaked face and demanded, "Why won't you leave her? She is nothing to you. I am the one you want. I make you tremble with desire. I know you still want me. I see it in your eyes. I can warm you in ways that cold-hearted, skinny prude never could."

  Julien interrupted. "Do not talk like that in this house! I would never leave my wife for a silly teen. What were you hoping to accomplish with your disappearing stunt? Did you think you could manipulate me?"

  "Yeah," Tai choked out a sound that was half-laugh and half-sob. "I did. I still do." She stared at him. "I wonder what Ellie would think if I waited until she got home and told her exactly what we've been up to?"

  Julien took a step forward and gave her a long, hard look. Tai stifled another sob and changed tactics. "I know you love me, Jules. I know it. I remember how it was – you, sweating like a stallion – how can you have forgotten the passion that we shared?"

  "You are mistaken. You are no more to me than an office assistant." He looked away from her. "We never touched."

  "Oh, but we did. We touched in every way possible. And I have proof. Leave her and come with me, or I will tell the whole damn town."

  "Proof? You are
deluding yourself."

  "Like hell, I am. I came over today to tell you something. Something important." She groaned and slammed her hand onto the table simultaneously. "You must stop living a lie with that ice queen of yours! You must choose between us. You have to choose me; I know you'll want me, especially now because . . . I'm pregnant."

  Ellie's chest felt an immediate heaviness, as if her heart had solidified. It was no longer made of blood and muscle. It was stone-cold and heavy. She felt a physical pain, like someone chinking away at that stone heart with a pick axe. She doubled over, and her cloudy edges blurred and swirled in the air around her.

  She tried to take in oxygen; she couldn't breathe. It was like being underwater in the dunking pool, but heavier, icier. It wasn't just her heart that had turned to stone. A heavy coldness swept through her. She'd kill him. The idiot! She wafted over to him and slapped him as hard as she could across the face.

  Her palm met with no resistance. Her hand whiffled through the air without even creating a stir. She was watching images that were memories, not physical beings with whom she could interact. God, she'd kill them both!

  Julien was unfazed by Tai's dramatic announcement. "Is that true, ma belle? Is that why you are so emotional and irrational?"

  "Yes – it is true. And the baby and I need you. Come with us! Leave Ellie here with the girls. They don't need you like we do."

  Julien gazed at her silently for a moment then spoke, "How do I know the baby is even mine?" He finally asked. Tai gasped.

  "You piece of -." She inhaled sharply. "Of course, the baby is yours! Whose else would it be?" She stopped crying. "What do you think? That you don't have to pay for your sins, but I do?" She pointed at her belly. "This," she pointed back at him, "is just as much your problem as it is mine."

  "It doesn't have to be." Julien reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. "Take this," he shoved a wad of cash at her, "and fix the problem before it grows too big for us to handle."