A Forgetful Heart (Whispers In Wyoming Book 8)

by Rachel Skatvold

  Austin adjusted his grip on the rope and adrenaline surged through his veins, feeling the massive animal moving beneath him. Just before giving the okay nod to open the gate, his eyes lifted to take in the crowded arena. The roar of the crowd vibrated through his chest. They loved him.

  Last year had been his comeback season and he’d gotten into the top ten, but this year he would win it all. Austin could feel it in his bones. Only eight seconds stood between him and the championship. It was the most important moment in his career and he’d worked hard to get there. Still, for some reason his eyes search the crowd for a head of long blond hair. Austin knew why. He needed her to witness this moment—needed to see her face—her bright emerald eyes gleaming at him from the stands.

  “Austin!” He looked over his shoulder and made eye contact with his friend. Jay stared at him with eyes full of concern. “You, okay?” he yelled over the roaring crowd.

  “Yeah. I’m good to go!” Austin yelled back. Now wasn’t the time for daydreams. He had to win this championship. Then he’d try and win back his wife’s heart. He’d sent one subtle message by sending back the divorce papers. Now he hoped by some miracle she was watching that night.

  Austin adjusted his hat and then gave a nod while his left hand shot into the air. Then, like a dam breaking loose, the gate swung open, allowing the bull to flow out into the arena, back muscles rolling and pitching. Austin held on as the seconds crawled by. How could eight seconds fly by in the real world, but seem like an eternity on the arena? The question had always baffled him.

  Two seconds left. The bull swiveled and changed directions, but Austin didn’t let it faze him. A moment later, the buzzer sounded and a hint of a smile spread over his face. He’d done it. The perfect ride. Now he only had to dismount and the championship would be his. He was sure of it.

  Austin loosened his grip on the rope and pulled, but to no avail. His glove caught, leaving him at the mercy of the gigantic beast beneath him. His moment of glory had turned to a moment of horror in a split second as he frantically tried to free his hand.

  For just a moment, Austin saw a woman with a golden braid draped over one shoulder. His heart raced even faster as a memory of their third anniversary flashed through his mind. It had just happened to fall on the same day as the semi-finals and he had to be there.

  She met him backstage that night, a few minutes before his ride and although she had plastered a smile on her face, he could see a strange look in her eyes. Austin couldn’t tell if she looked sad, disappointed or just worried, but it concerned him. He was about to ask her what was wrong when she pulled out a gift wrapped in dark green paper. He opened the box and grinned, seeing a new shirt and set of leather chaps. They were black with emerald green accents—their signature color. “Lainey, how did you afford this?”

  She just grinned and shook her head. “Don’t worry about it, future national champion. You deserve something nice. Happy anniversary.”

  “I love you so much,” he whispered while setting the box aside. Then he lifted her chin with his index finger until their eyes met. “I’m really sorry about this. I promise I’ll make it up to you, Lainey. We’ll celebrate afterwards…big fancy dinner and a movie, flowers…the works.”

  She nodded, letting out a deep sigh. “I know that,” she whispered. “It’s all right, really. This is our life…the life we both chose.” She paused and the odd look returned to her eyes.

  “Lainey, what’s wrong?” he asked, fear gripping his heart.

  “Nothing…” she whispered and framed his face in her soft hands. “It’s just…I have something to tell you, but it can wait. Right now I need you to go out there and kill it tonight. I know you’re going to the championship. I can feel it in my bones.”

  They shared a kiss, pushing every worry in his head far away. Everything felt right when he held his wife in his arms. If he’d only known what the next few hours would bring, he never would have gone into the arena that night—but time couldn’t be reversed.

  Austin, blinked as another jerk from the bull jolted him out of the memory. The blond woman in the stands looked too tall to be Lainey. He turned his attention back to the bull just as it rolled its back, snapping his upper body forward. His forehead made contact with the bull’s skull and his world exploded into fiery hot pain. Then he saw nothing but black.

  Chapter Three

  Eyes still glued to the television screen, Laina blocked out everything around her. She couldn’t comprehend what she’d just witnessed as the medics rushed into the arena and surrounded Austin’s limp body. The bull had dragged him around like a ragdoll for what seemed like an eternity before the bullfighters finally freed his hand from the rope. By then, the damage had already been done. As the program cut to a commercial and Trevor and Charlotte rushed to her side, Laina gasped in some air, for the first time realizing that she’d stopped breathing.

  “Laina?” Trevor’s hand rested on her shoulder. Then his kind eyes filled her vision as he knelt in front of her. “Can we call someone…your family…or the hospital in Las Vegas?”

  “We’ll do whatever you need us to do, even take care of the little stray dog,” Charlotte added.

  She blinked, starting to come out of her fog. “The hospital…” Laina murmured, just above a whisper. “Could someone drive me? I…I need to be there. I need to see him.”

  Laina stared out the passenger-side window as the lights of Las Vegas passed by her window. Trevor had driven through the night to get there and refused to let Laina drive, saying she needed to rest up. However, she hadn’t slept at all during their nine hour journey. Bittersweet memories of being with Austin tormented her the whole time. After being angry at him for so long, Laina’s request for someone to take her to see him surprised her. Only weeks ago, she had signed divorce papers, ready to be free of him. Now she desperately needed to see him and hold his hand. Whether he lived or died, she needed to be there. What did that mean? Did she still have love in her heart for him?

  “Laina?” her friend Trevor asked from the driver’s seat as the sun started to peek over the horizon. She didn’t answer, but turned her head in response. “We’re almost there. Do you want me to come in with you?”

  She thought for a moment before answering him. “Yes, but can you stay in the waiting room at first. I haven’t seen him in six years and I’m not sure how I’ll react or what to expect, but I need to do this first part alone.”

  Trevor nodded. “I understand. I’ll be available if you need me.”

  Laina cleared her throat and thanked him. He’d left his newlywed wife back in Tipton to help her. She couldn’t think of another person in her life who would be so generous, besides Charlotte. She’d offered to come along for moral support as well, but Trevor suggested that she stay home to take care of Emma.

  A few minutes later, he had parked his truck and they were journeying down a long hallway of the fifth floor of the hospital. The sterile smells of antiseptics assaulted Laina’s nose. She’d never been a fan of hospitals, ever since Austin’s first injury seven years ago. At the time, it had seemed she would live at the hospital forever, trying to care for her young husband while he recuperated and fighting her own silent battles at the same time.

  After reaching the ICU and asking a nurse for Austin’s room number, Laina stood in front of the double doors and took a deep breath, gathering courage. Could she handle this?

  Trevor placed his hand on her shoulder. “I’ll be praying. You can do this with God’s help. He’ll hold you up if you ask him.”

  Laina thanked him and then waited until he sat down in the waiting room before pushing the buzzer to be let in. Then, when the double doors swung open, she squared her shoulders and steadied her breathing before heading down the hallway with curtain divided rooms on each side.

  When she reached Austin’s room, his friend Jay came walking out. His eyes widened when he recognized her. “Laina?”

  She hugged him on impulse, happy to see a familiar f
ace. “Long time no see. How are you? How’s Mandy?”

  He let her go and smiled. “We’re doing just fine. I made it into the top three and Mandy’s expecting our second child any day now.”

  “Congratulations!” Laina sounded cheerful but on the inside she struggled to push down a pang of jealousy at the mention of children. Jay and Mandy seemed to have life she and Austin had dreamed of but never achieved. She managed to keep her composure though. It wasn’t right to resent Jay or his wife for their happy marriage. “Thanks for staying with Austin.” She paused and bit her lip. “How is he?”

  Jay rubbed his chin and stared at the tile floor beneath his feet. “He’s in bad shape, Laina. It’s all a waiting game now, until he wakes up. Really, it’s a good thing that he’s still asleep.”

  She stared at him, puzzled. “Why?”

  “He’s going to be in a lot of pain when he wakes up. He can’t be given the same medications as most people. It could jeopardize his recovery.” When Laina continued to stare at him, Jay continued. “Austin has been clean for three years. He’s been trying really hard.”

  “I see,” Laina said, leaning against the wall for support as the memories of his addiction and their crumbling marriage returned.

  “He told me that he planned to come find you if he won the championship and ask for your forgiveness.”

  Laina nodded, taking in Jay’s words but she couldn’t speak. Now everything started to make sense—the returned divorce papers—Austin wearing the chaps she gave him on their third anniversary. He wanted to give their marriage a second try. The realization sent a wave of emotions over her. If he recovered, did she want to give him a second chance? Right now the notion seemed impossible. All the hurt from the past clouded her memories of the good times they had shared together.

  “Laina?” Jay cut in, pulling her out of her fragmented thoughts. “Are you all right?”

  She cleared the cobwebs from her brain and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. You can take a break. I’ll stay with him for a while.”

  “A good breakfast in the cafeteria and a nap in my trailer sure sounds good,” he admitted. “I’ll be back this afternoon.”

  She thanked Jay and watched him leave, taking a moment to prepare herself to see Austin again.

  God, please give me strength, she prayed silently and instantly felt peace wash over her soul.

  She’d only been a Christian for three years and still felt like an infant in some ways. Charlotte’s sister, Bridget, had been the one that led her to Christ, a few years before her death. Laina still had a lot to learn, but she had never regretted committing her life to God, especially in times like she currently faced.

  Finally, Laina pulled the curtain aside and walked into the room. She covered her mouth, seeing the man on the bed before her. In spite of his muscular build, he looked so frail—bandaged, bruised and attached to tubes and machines. For a moment she second-guessed if she’d walked into the correct room, but when she saw the dimple in his chin, she knew it was him. Trembling, she pulled up a chair and sat next to his bed, reaching for his hand out of instinct. “What’d you do this time, you fool?”

  A small chuckle escaped her lips, thinking of how he might respond—probably with some joke like, I had to find a way to get you back somehow, didn’t I?

  Then anger filled her as she let go of his hand and crossed her arms with a huff. “Well, I’m not falling for it, Austin Gaines. If you think you can get me back just by getting injured, you’re dead wrong.” Laina sat there for a few minutes, refusing to look at his face again, but when she finally did, her anger abated. He had a bandaged nose and shoulder, a large gash across his left eyebrow and a long bandage wrapped around his head. Over the phone, his doctor explained that he’d also endured a procedure to relieve swelling on his brain. Recognizing the severity of his injuries, Laina couldn’t be mad any longer. She scooted her chair closer to the head of his bed and rested her head against his good shoulder, wrapping her arm around his chest. Tears dripped onto his hospital gown as she whispered, “I don’t know if you can hear me…but it’s me…Laina. Please fight this, Austin. I don’t know if we have a future together anymore, but I do know I don’t want it to end like this. Come back to me.”

  Laina lost track of time as she faded in and out of consciousness while listening to Austin’s heartbeat. Oh how she’d missed it! It was amazing how quickly she felt comfortable next to him. She almost chuckled, thinking maybe that was because he was asleep and they couldn’t argue. Laina had just drifted off for a few moments when she felt a hand resting on her elbow. She sat up in surprise. “Austin?”

  He blinked hard a few times and winced before managing a crooked smile. “Sorry, Lainey. What a way to spend our third anniversary, huh?”

  Chapter Four

  Laina stood outside Austin’s room with his doctor, mouth agape in disbelief. “So, you’re saying my husband has lost seven years of his memories? How is this possible?”

  Doctor Miles nodded and tucked his clipboard under one arm. “It’s rare, but with a severe head trauma, some patients do lose memories. Most of the time it’s temporary, but sometimes it can be a permanent condition.”

  She drew in a ragged breath and covered her mouth, struggling to process the doctor’s words. It all felt like some crazy dream or a ridiculous plot from one of the soap operas her mom used to watch. Austin didn’t remember the tragic events that happened the night of their third anniversary, the breakdown of their marriage or their separation. In his mind, they were in a good place—happy, in love and optimistic about their future together. Laina turned toward the half opened curtain and saw Austin’s chest rising and falling peacefully. He’d fallen asleep again, still not knowing the truth.

  “I would suggest that you take it slow with him,” the doctor continued. “Tell him that he has lost some of his memory, but don’t try to remind him of things too quickly. It might upset him. If he asks questions, answer him, but be prepared for him to go through a wide range of emotions in the coming days and weeks.”

  Laina nodded, thanked the doctor and then let him go check on other patients. She remained out in the hallway, deep in thought. How would he react after discovering they were legally separated and that she had filed for divorce? Maybe it would be best to keep it to herself for now.

  Austin’s eyes fluttered open and he scanned the sterile hospital room. His head and left shoulder throbbed every time he moved, but somehow he managed to turn his head. Then he saw Laina asleep in the chair next to his bed and smiled. She was even more beautiful than the first day they met—long braid draped over one shoulder, legs curled up to her chest, wearing jeans with holes in the knees. He’d really messed up, letting that bull throw him off after only four seconds and then not getting out of the way quick enough before it gored him right in the back.

  Austin found the buttons on his bed and pushed one to raise his head, but winced with the movement. His head ached like it was being squeezed with a vice. That was the strange part—his head and shoulder hurt worse than his back. Had the bull roughed him up more after he passed out?

  The mechanical sounds of the bed lifting woke Laina and she looked around in a groggy manner for a few seconds before making eye contact with him. She forced a smile. “Oh, you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

  “Been better,” Austin croaked out and then coughed several times, grimacing with the effort. His throat felt dry and scratchy as sandpaper.

  Laina stood from her chair and grabbed a lidded foam cup with a straw. “Here, drink some water,” she said, moving the tip of the straw closer to his lips.

  He took a sip, swallowed and then rested his head back on the pillow with a weary sigh. “That’s better. Thank you.” Laina nodded, but didn’t say a word. Instead, she settled back into her chair. She looked stressed with red, swollen eyes. He reached for her hand and managed a lopsided smile. “As soon as I’m recovered, we’ll have a real anniversary, Lainey. I promise.”

  She nodded
again, but his promise failed to erase the anxious crease in her forehead—the one she always got when something was really troubling her. Instead, Laina’s lips trembled as she wiped a single tear off her cheek. “Just concentrate on getting better for now, okay?”

  “But thinking of our date will give me something to look forward to,” he reassured, hoping some light-hearted talking would bring a genuine smile to her beautiful face.

  “All right,” she finally agreed.

  Her response seemed half-hearted and something about the look in her eyes disturbed him. He’d known her long enough to know her expressions and something was off. “Lainey, will you please tell me what’s wrong? I know it’s more than my accident. Have I done something to upset you?”

  Laina pursed her lips and looked away for a moment. When she met his gaze again, her eyes were clouded with tears. “Austin, let’s not do this right now. You need some rest. Actually, we both need some rest. I’m stressing you out by being in here.” She wiped a tear off her cheek, gathered her purse and started to stand up.

  “No, please…” he rasped, latching onto her left wrist, determined to get to the bottom of her strange behavior. “Tell me what’s wrong. I won’t be able to rest until you tell me.”

  She gasped and looked down at her left hand and then back into his eyes with a look of panic. “Austin, please let me go.”

  He happened to glance at her hand and noticed for the first time that something was missing. “Lainey, your ring. You never take it off. Did you lose it and you’re afraid to tell me?”

  As he loosened his grip on her wrist she sat back in the chair and her lips began to tremble. She covered her face for a moment and then after composing herself, looked back up and took his hand in hers. “Austin, there’s something I need to tell you…something that’s going to be quite a shock.”