Judging Books

by Shay Savage

  “I’ve got the key,” Josh said. “If you want, I can take your car to the garage, and you can just go in the front door. If you aren’t comfortable with that, I could walk around to the garage entrance and have Henry let you in. Shouldn’t be a problem.”

  “Why don’t you just ride with me?”

  “That works, too.”

  Josh ran around to the right side of the car and settled into the passenger seat. I checked for traffic before pulling away from the curb and heading back around to the entrance of the parking garage.

  “I thought you might still be there,” Josh said with a grin. “Ethan hasn’t been answering his phone.”

  “I was for a while,” I said. “I left last night.”

  Josh glanced at me, eyes narrowed.

  “I think it’s my fault Ethan’s not answering your calls.” I took a long breath. “I left a little…abruptly.”

  “Oh.” Josh fidgeted in the seat.

  I pulled up to the gate. Henry peered into the car, and Josh greeted him.

  “Welcome back!” Henry said as he waved us through. “I can take it from here.”

  Henry drove off with my car, and Josh walked me up to the elevator.

  “I have the feeling you two need to talk,” Josh said. “I’m just going to get the elevator going and leave you to it, if that’s okay.”

  “Yes, that’s fine.” I didn’t know what else to say. Josh seemed to have a pretty good idea of what was going on, and I didn’t care to elaborate. He wished me luck as I entered the elevator, and he used his keycard to access the penthouse floor.

  As the elevator started its quick ascent, I began to panic. What was I going to say to him? What excuse could I possibly have for running out on him like I did with no explanation at all? What was I going to do if he told me to just leave and that he never wanted to see me again?

  “He won’t do that,” I whispered quietly. “He wants to talk to me.”

  The elevator door opened, and I stepped into the entryway that led to Ethan’s apartment door. I imagined him opening the door, smiling at me, and saying everything was fine. I also imagined him slamming the door in my face.

  With shaking hands, I walked up to the door and let my finger hover over the doorbell. I could turn around and run away, pretending I had never met Ethan in the first place. If I escaped now, I wouldn’t have to come to terms with why I left in the first place or try to explain it to Ethan. I would never have to risk telling my father about him or justify why I was dating someone so young.

  If I did that—if I ran away right this second and never stepped foot in this place again—I would never again see that beautiful smile directed at me.

  I rang the bell.

  After a few moments, the door opened, and a disheveled Ethan peered at me. His eyes were dull and red-rimmed. He was still wearing the same T-shirt he had on the day before, and his face was completely devoid of his glorious smile.

  My already tense muscles clamped down in my body. Now that I was here, standing in front of him, I had no idea what I was supposed to say. My mouth and throat felt dry, and my palms were clammy.

  I wanted to take him in my arms and tell him how wrong I was and that everything was going to be all right, but I couldn’t make myself move, and my tongue couldn’t produce any words.

  Ethan’s eyes widened as he stared at me. He reached forward with his left hand and at the same time took a step backward with his right foot. He blinked a few times, and the silence continued for what felt like hours.

  “Did you get my message?” Ethan finally asked.

  “Yes.”

  “You didn’t answer me.”

  “I didn’t know what to say.” I felt my face heat up, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his stare.

  “But you came back,” he said. “Are you here to tell me what I did wrong?”

  “You didn’t do anything wrong,” I said.

  “Then why are you here?”

  “To apologize?” I didn’t mean for my words to sound like a question, but they did.

  Ethan gritted his teeth and looked away from me. He took another step back and leaned against the wall behind the door, his hands behind his back, and stared at the floor.

  “I don’t know if I’m excited to have you back here or just scared shitless you’re going to leave again,” he said without looking up.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t really know what came over me.”

  “Are you going to stay?” His voice was so quiet, I could barely hear the words.

  “If you’ll let me,” I said, almost as quietly. “I’d really like to.”

  He looked up at me, his expression hopeful but cautious.

  “Why did you go?” he asked. “You left so fast, and I didn’t know what to think.”

  “I’m an idiot,” I said. “I think that’s the best explanation I have.”

  “You aren’t an idiot.”

  “Sometimes I am.”

  “Did I scare you?” His voice cracked on the last syllable, and he cleared his throat. “I wasn’t trying to.”

  “I think I scared myself.”

  “Will you tell me why you left?”

  “I’ll try. I don’t think I’m as good at explaining myself as you are though.”

  His chest rose as he took in a deep breath and let it out in a long stream. He nodded a couple of times before pushing himself off the wall and tentatively reaching behind me to shut the door. He nodded toward the pile of shoes on the floor, and I slipped off my pumps. I set my purse down next to them and turned to find Ethan wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

  He quietly held me to his chest as I encircled his waist.

  “You’re really staying?” he asked again.

  I nodded, afraid of opening my mouth and saying something stupid.

  Ethan reached out toward me, and I grasped his fingers with mine. He walked slowly, leading me back to the pink bean bag chairs. He sat down first, and I settled myself on his lap. I lay my head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around me.

  “You feel so good here,” he said, squeezing me tighter.

  I closed my eyes for a moment, breathing in the scent of his Axe body wash and listening to his heartbeat.

  “I’m so glad you came back,” he said softly.

  “So am I.” I lifted my head and leaned in to kiss him softly.

  Kissing softly didn’t last long. Ethan grasped the side of my head, holding my lips tightly against his as his tongue explored my mouth. A shiver went through me as I felt his cock pressing against my hip. I gasped and pulled away, and his dark gaze met mine.

  I licked my lips as I looked at his face. My thighs clenched as he stared into my eyes, and I knew I wanted him—right here and right now. I raised myself up enough to toss one leg over him so I could straddle his lap before bringing my mouth back to his.

  I opened my eyes to his and backed away from his lips. He was looking back at me with that shy half smile and sparkling, bright eyes. His tongue darted out and touched the rings in his lip, and his cheeks warmed with blood. While still looking at him, I ground myself against him and watched his eyes get wide and his mouth drop open. He swallowed hard and then grabbed my hips, holding me still.

  “Shit, Ashlyn…”

  I rocked forward again, still looking into his eyes as his hands gripped my hips a little harder in an attempt to keep me from moving. I didn’t want to stop, though. It had been quite some time. The sensation was entirely too good, and damn if he didn’t feel pretty well-endowed as well. I wanted to know for sure if I was right about that. I leaned over his chest and put my lips up close to his ear.

  “You don’t have to apologize for this,” I said softly while rotating my hips a little. “It feels pretty good, if you ask me.”

  Ethan pushed hard on my hips, effectively sliding me back to the middle of his thighs so I wasn’t pushing down against his erection any longer. I tried to look at him innocently through my eyelashes, but I k
new I wasn’t able to pull it off. His eyes became wide and dark as he looked at me.

  While his eyes were still locked on mine, I reached down, past his abs and grazed my fingers over his length. Make that his considerable length. Holy shit, if he wasn’t packing some serious heat in there. While I was distracted by my discovery, I barely heard Ethan gasp before I felt myself twirling and falling. I didn’t even realize what had happened until I was on my back next to the bean bag chair with Ethan on top of me.

  Ethan’s eyes were intense and dark, staring down at me from where he suspended himself by his arms with his hands placed on either side of my head.

  “You still haven’t told me why you left,” Ethan said, his voice sounding hoarse.

  “Can I explain later?”

  “Yeah.” Ethan nodded quickly. “Later is good.”

  I watched his throat bob as he swallowed before leaning over and running his tongue over my parted lips. He moved over my chin and down my neck, leaving a cool trail to tell me where he had been. He shifted slightly, and one of his hands ran along the outside of my arm to my shoulder. His fingers started to stroke downwards, but then he stopped and looked up at me. His eyes glanced down, and then back up again—hesitant and a little wary.

  He was blushing again and seemed so unsure; I decided if I wanted to get better acquainted with just how well-endowed Ethan may be, I was going to have to make a move. One thing I knew for certain—I wanted to find out just a bit more about him. Maybe a lot more. I decided subtlety was not in my best interest, so I reached down and pulled my shirt up and over my head.

  Ethan’s eyes went wide for a moment and then narrowed as he tilted his head and focused lower. I was incredibly glad I had decided on the matching blue bra and panties since it was obviously something he seemed to appreciate. His fingers finally made their way down, tracing over the edge of the laced fabric.

  “I feel like I ought to just drop to my knees and worship them,” Ethan blurted out and then turned just one shade lighter than the bean bag chair. “You are amazing, Ashlyn. All of you. I don’t…shit…I want…”

  He stopped and swallowed hard again.

  “What is it, Ethan?”

  “I’d really like to take you to bed now,” Ethan said softly. His eyes were still dark, and his stare too intense. I had to look away for a moment, and I heard him swear under his breath. “We don’t have to if it’s too soon…I just thought…”

  “Yes, please,” I said quickly, realizing my lack of eye contact had given him the entirely wrong impression. I looked back up at him and took a deep breath. “Carpe diem.”

  Ethan’s eyes lit up and his smile was right behind. He pushed himself up onto his knees and pulled me with him until we were standing. He placed his hands on either side of my face, kissed me once, and then scooped me up in his arms and literally ran down the hallway to the bedroom while his lips tried to find new places to explore on my neck. He paused when he reached the side of the bed where we had slept the night before and gazed down on me apprehensively. He slowly lowered me to my feet and stood me next to the bed before taking my face in his hands and kissing me briefly.

  “This is moving pretty fast,” he said softly. “I’m having a little trouble practicing my own motto, and I want to make sure you really want this. I feel like we should talk about last night first, but I don’t want to ruin all this either.”

  “I don’t want to stop.”

  “I don’t usually…I mean, what I said yesterday about how long it has been…I mean…shit.”

  “It’s okay, Ethan,” I told him. “You don’t have to tell me about that.”

  “I don’t want you to think I do this all the time,” he said quietly, his gaze softening. “I’m not a manwhore, and I’ve never slept with a girl I only met two days ago. I really want to be with you though. I really, really do.”

  “I want to be with you too,” I said.

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really.”

  “Even though…even though you left before?” Panic flashed over his face.

  “I do, Ethan,” I said, scaring myself a little when I realized how much I meant it. “I got scared and screwed up last night. I never should have left. I’m not in the habit of sleeping with men I just met either. I don’t know why it’s different with you…”

  Because it’s Ethan.

  And that made all the difference, because he was different. I could tell him no, that we should wait, but I was still going to want him the next night and the next—a week from now, a month from now, a year from now—I was still going to want him. Waiting wasn’t going to change anything. It was time to seize the day.

  “It’s because it’s you,” we both said at the same time. I looked up at him, shocked we had both uttered the same words. Ethan’s thumb stroked my bottom lip, and his eyes held understanding.

  “I want you,” he whispered. He moved his lips to the spot right below my ear, and I groaned as he sucked at the skin there and held me close to him. “I wanted you the day I met you. I wanted you last night, and I spent all day thinking I’d never have the chance. I want you now, Ashlyn.”

  I trailed my fingers up his bare back and felt him shiver against me. Ethan ran his hand from my waist up to my shoulder and then back down again, pausing in the middle to deftly unhook my bra. I lowered my arms and let it fall to the floor.

  Chapter 15—Fascination

  Once my bra was out of the way, I placed my hand flat against Ethan’s stomach, ran my fingers over the tight muscles there, and then reached for the top button of his jeans as Ethan kissed me again. He briefly removed his lips from mine and watched my fingers release in turn each of the buttons of the fly. I hooked my thumbs in the waistband near his hips and pushed the jeans down. I barely paused before doing the same with the black boxer-briefs underneath. I just wanted to see him.

  I was definitely not disappointed.

  He was undoubtedly big. Not insanely huge or anything but certainly bigger than average. I never thought I’d use the word beautiful to describe a penis, but his was. It was long and hard, and when I felt the softness of the skin wrapped around it and saw the glistening head, I couldn’t help but run my hand up and down his length, my thumb wrapping around the tip and spreading the moisture I found back down the shaft.

  “If you keep doing that,” Ethan said through clenched teeth, “I’m going to come in your hand. I don’t really want to do that just yet.”

  “Hmm…” I smiled slyly up at him. “Maybe later.”

  “You are going to take me over the edge, aren’t you?” Ethan murmured. He made quick work of my buttons and managed to hook both my jeans and panties at the same time, drawing them slowly down my legs to the floor. I stepped out of them, and he walked towards me, pushing me backwards until the backs of my knees hit the edge of the bed. I lay back, and he crawled over me, seeking my mouth with his.

  Ethan kissed over my chin, down my neck, and between the valley of my breasts. He glanced up at me and smiled again before tilting his head to one side and rolling one of my nipples around with his tongue. I moaned and arched my back as he took it fully into his mouth and sucked and licked at my nipple. He reached for the other one and rolled it between two fingers for a minute, then switched and sucked on that nipple as well. I felt his hand run over my breast, then drop lower across my stomach.

  My thighs tensed, and I tried to keep my hips from bucking as he moved south, running his fingers below my belly button and then around to the side, not touching me where I wanted him. I moaned again but this time in protest. Ethan chuckled and traced small circles on my inner thigh before he moved back up again.

  He slid his fingers down between my legs, running along the outside of my labia and then finding entrance to the folds of flesh covering my core. He teased me with the tip of his finger over my entrance, gathering the moisture there and sliding it upwards, around my clitoris.

  “Ethan…oh, yes…”

  “You like that?” he w
hispered with his lips still hovering over my nipple. He dipped down between my legs, then to the top once more, circling that most sensitive spot again before he moved back down. “You’re so wet, Ashlyn. Are you wet for me?”

  “Yes…please…”

  “Did you get wet just thinking about my cock?” he asked, and I inhaled sharply. “Did you know how hard you were making me out there? Running your hands over my tats? Did you know what you were doing to me? All I could think about was getting inside of you. Is that what you wanted? Did you want me so hard I couldn’t think straight?”

  I made some sort of incoherent sound. I couldn’t find any intelligible words. I wasn’t expecting Ethan to be such a dirty talker, and his words were affecting me almost as much as his touch.

  “Well, it fucking worked; I can tell you that.”

  A chill raced up my torso as Ethan pulled his hand away and rolled over to the other side of the bed. I whimpered for a moment and then heard a drawer open and the tearing of cardboard packaging. Ethan rolled back with a condom in his hand, tearing the foil wrapper with his teeth as he collided with my side. I giggled, and he blushed.

  “Did you buy those today?” I asked.

  “Um, I, uh, I didn’t think….I mean…shit! There is no way for me to answer that question without getting into trouble, is there?”

  “Probably not.” I chuckled and shook my head. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling.

  “You just said that to get a reaction out of me, didn’t you?” he asked. His eyes narrowed a little, and I bit down on my lip, shrugging my shoulders.

  Ethan looked into my eyes and placed his lips softly against mine,. Then that particular smile that was always threatening to make me wet appeared—as if I needed the help now. Then he winked…actually winked at me as he reached down and stroked himself slowly from base to tip and back again before unrolling the condom over his length. With a light touch, he ran his hand up the inside of my thigh, and his fingers traced around my entrance before slowly guiding his tip to me.

  “You’re sure, aren’t you?” he said while his eyes begged me not to make him stop. I nodded quickly because there was nothing I wanted more. I lifted my leg and wrapped it around his hip, giving him a better angle.