Tell Me What You Want—Or Leave Me

by Maxwell, Megan

  “Well, actually I feel like shit,” I say as honestly as I can. “I’ve been vomiting nonstop for days and crying, and I can’t stop scratching my neck. I’m scared shitless of Medusa. And if you add that my husband suddenly didn’t love me and accused me of betraying him with his best friend, how do you think I feel?” But before he can say anything, I add, “But . . . now, in this moment, this very moment here by your side, I’m fine, very . . . very fine.”

  Eric hugs me again.

  He’s so surprised by the news, he can hardly speak.

  “For the record, and despite my pregnancy, you will still have your punishment for distrusting me,” I whisper in a way I know drives him crazy.

  When Björn comes back from the cafeteria, a beaming Eric asks him, “Hey, do you want to be my Medusa’s godfather?”

  24

  The next day, Björn and Norbert return to Germany. Björn has a couple of court appearances he can’t miss. I call Marta and Sonia and tell them what happened, which scares them. They quickly fly to London.

  Seeing the state of her brother’s eyes, Marta meets with the doctors at the hospital. In the end she decides to wait and see if time or the medication resolves it. If not, she’ll schedule an appointment to drain the blood once we’re back in Germany. After this point is clarified, the doctor tells us we can go home soon.

  Sonia goes crazy once she knows she’s having another grandchild, and Marta applauds. That the family grows gives them great joy. Frida and Andrés call to check on Eric and calm down when they talk to him directly—and it goes without saying how happy they are to know about my pregnancy.

  When we call Flyn for him to talk to his uncle, we don’t tell him or Simona about the pregnancy. Norbert keeps the secret until we’re back.

  Then one afternoon when I’m alone with Eric in the hospital room, Amanda comes by.

  Her presence still bothers me, but I recognize what she did was a good thing. For an hour, she talks to Eric about work, and I decide to take the time to call my father. I want to break the news.

  Excited and nervous at the same time, I leave the room and dial Jerez. After two rings, Luz greets me.

  “Tita!”

  “Hello, my dear Pokémon teacher. How are you?”

  “Well, as Grandpa would say, screwed but happy.”

  “Luz, that mouth,” I say, scolding her.

  But it comes out of her so naturally, so authentically, I can’t help but chuckle.

  “Today the teacher, Miss Colines, gave me a four on homework that deserved at least a seven.”

  I laugh. I remember Miss Colines.

  “Well, honey, maybe you have to try harder.”

  “That rat-faced witch has a thing for me. Tita, I try hard, but they’re really nitpicky at this school.”

  “Well, honey, I think—”

  But then she does that thing I know so well from my sister and changes the subject.

  “How’s my uncle? Is he better?”

  “Yes, honey, he’s getting his strength back. We’ll be back in Germany in a few days.”

  “That’s cool! And Flyn?”

  “In Munich with Simona and Norbert. By the way, he’s looking forward to seeing you again at Christmas.”

  “He’s so complicated,” she says, all sassy. “Tell him I’m going to bring my own Wii games, and he should get ready, because I’m going to whomp him, OK?”

  “I’ll pass it on.”

  “Tita, I’ll let my mom talk to you now. She’s bugging me! A big, big kiss.”

  “One for you too, my love.”

  My Luz is so beautiful!

  “Cuchufleta, how’s Eric?” my sister asks, worried.

  When I called my father and her to tell them Eric was in the hospital, they wanted to come to London. I stopped them. I know so many people would have been overwhelming for Eric.

  “All right. We go home the day after tomorrow. I’m exhausted.”

  “Oh, Cuchu . . . what a pity you’re so far away. I would have loved to squeeze and comfort you.”

  “I know. I would have liked to have you near. How’s Lucía?”

  “Ferocious. This girl eats anything and everything. Any day now, she’ll eat us.”

  We both laugh.

  “I know something you don’t know . . .”

  “What?”

  “Guess.”

  “You’re coming to live in Spain?”

  “Nooooooo.”

  “You dyed your hair blonde?”

  “No.”

  “My delightful brother-in-law has given you a red Ferrari?”

  “No.”

  “What is it, Cuchu?”

  I laugh.

  “I think someone will be calling you Tía Raquel very soon.”

  My sister’s scream is deafening.

  She starts to clap like crazy, and I hear her tell Luz. The two shout and applaud. I laugh, and then I hear my father.

  “Is it true, sweetheart? Is it true you’re going to give me another grandchild?”

  “Yes, Papá, it’s true.”

  “Oh, my dear girl, you’ve just so gladdened my life. Are you tired, my sweet girl?”

  “Yes, Papá, a little.”

  His laughter and happiness, as always, swell my heart. I talk to him and Raquel at the same time. They both want to talk and show me their joy. Then my sister takes command of the phone.

  “Cuchu . . . as soon as you get home, call me, and we’ll talk. I have lots of Lucía’s little things that can be useful for the first months. Oh God . . . oh God . . . you’re pregnant. I can’t believe it!”

  “Neither can I, Raquel. Neither can I,” I murmur.

  There’s another struggle for the phone. My father wins this time.

  “Sweetheart, are you eating well?”

  “Yes, Papá, don’t worry.”

  “Have you already gone to the doctor?”

  “Yes.”

  “Your sister wants to know if you’re taking any kind of folk remedies.”

  I crack up.

  “Yes, Papá. Tell her I take folic acid.”

  “Oh, I’m so happy. Another little grandchild!”

  “Yes, Papá, another little grandchild.”

  “Maybe it’ll be a boy.”

  “And what if it’s a girl? Then what?”

  My father laughs.

  “Well, I’ll have another woman to love and pamper in my life.”

  We both laugh again.

  “Is Eric better?”

  “Yes, Papá, much better. We’ll be discharged in a couple of days.”

  “Well . . . hey, is he happy about the baby?”

  Eric has hardly slept since he found out. He’s constantly worrying about my eating and resting, and, when he sees me vomiting, he gets sick too.

  “Eric is like you . . . happy.”

  We talk several more minutes, and, when I see Amanda leave the room, I quickly say goodbye to my family.

  “I’ll walk you out,” I tell her.

  We go to the elevator together. We know we have a pending conversation.

  “Thank you for letting me know.”

  “Congratulations on the baby,” she says.

  “Thanks, Amanda.”

  “The only reason I didn’t tell you earlier is because Eric forbade it. But on the third day, I ignored him. You had to know what was happening.”

  I’m grateful for this detail.

  The tension between us is thick.

  “Judith, I want you to know things have been very clear to me for a long time,” she says. “Eric is a happily married man, and I won’t go there.”

  “I’m glad to know that,” I reply. That’ll make our lives easier.

  She smiles and points to a man in a suit in an impressive Audi A8.

  “I have to go. He’s waiting for me.”

  Moving quickly, I plant a kiss on each of her cheeks. We look at each other. Her telling me about Eric and my giving her two kisses means we’re at peace.

 
I watch her from the hospital door, how she wiggles her hips for the man in the Audi, gets in, and kisses him.

  When I return to Eric’s room, he’s working on his laptop and smiles when he sees me.

  He’s looking better, and I kiss him.

  “I love you,” I say.

  Two days later, we’re back in Munich.

  Home sweet home!

  Having all my things at hand, my bed, and my bathroom are what I need most.

  When Flyn and Simona see Eric, their faces say it all.

  They’re horrified.

  I understand their alarm; Eric’s eyes look scary.

  “Easy, although he looks like the evil vampire from Twilight with those eyes, I swear it’s Eric! And he won’t bite your necks.”

  My comment relaxes them a bit.

  Flyn hugs his uncle.

  “Are you going to get better, or is this the way you are now?” he asks.

  “He’ll be fine,” I say.

  “I hope so,” Eric murmurs, his arm around his nephew.

  I don’t say more. I know that, even if he’s not talking about it, my German is concerned. You just have to see how he looks at himself in the mirror. I just hope the medication manages to drain the blood and everything resolves by itself. My father always says, positivity calls forth positivity. Therefore, I’m positive!

  That night, when we sit down for dinner, we ask Norbert and Simona to join us for dessert. We need to talk to them. When we tell them the good news about my pregnancy, Flyn shouts.

  “I’m going to have a cousin! How cool!”

  “You’re going to be a big brother, and we’ll need you to teach him many things,” I say. Everyone looks at me. “Flyn is my child, and Medusa will be too.”

  “Medusa?” Simona and Flyn ask in unison.

  Norbert smiles. Eric does too. I point to my flat belly.

  “I’m calling it Medusa until I know if it’s a girl or a boy.” They nod, and, looking at Flyn, who can’t take his eyes off me, I ask, “You want to be her big brother, right?”

  He nods. “Of course, Mom!”

  Sometimes he calls me Mom, sometimes Aunt, other times just Jude. He hasn’t decided what to do yet, but it doesn’t matter to me. All I want is for him to call me.

  Very excited about everything, Simona takes Norbert’s hand.

  “What joy! Another child scampering about the house. Such delight!”

  I love them so much. They don’t have children. Months ago, Simona confessed they tried for years, but fate never granted them their wish. I know she’s received the news with an open heart and that Medusa will be like a granddaughter to her.

  “Then we shouldn’t buy the bike for my classes, right?” Flyn asks.

  I sigh. Flyn’s motorcycle! I’d forgotten about it.

  “Jude can’t teach you now. She can’t ride a motorcycle while she’s pregnant, but if you want, we can buy it this weekend, and Jurgen can teach you.”

  Eric is right. I can’t and shouldn’t. But I think it’s a fantastic solution, though I’m surprised by Flyn’s response.

  “No, that’s OK. I want Jude to teach me.”

  “It’s just that I can’t ride a motorcycle or run after you right now,” I explain.

  “But you will after you have Medusa, right?”

  I nod. It becomes clear that, for him, what’s important is that I teach him. I look at Eric, who smiles, and then I kiss my boy on the head.

  “We don’t need to talk about it anymore. The lessons and the bike will wait until after Medusa is already sleeping in her crib.”

  That night, Eric and I are exhausted. He sits on the bed and very carefully puts the crutches aside. He’s clearly happy to be home.

  “Can I help you undress?” I ask.

  With a smoldering smile, my guy nods, and I proceed.

  First, I unbutton his shirt and take it off, and, with care, I caress his shoulders. God, I love him. After that, without touching the leg in the cast, I pull his black track pants down.

  “Oh yes . . . just what I need,” I murmur on seeing the prominent erection in his underwear.

  Eric laughs.

  “It’s been too long without . . . and I want . . . I want . . . I want . . .”

  Eager, I bring my mouth to his. We can kiss without worry now. His lip has healed, and we can finally devour each other with passion and delight. Immediately turned on by the closeness of this man with whom I’m madly in love, I very carefully straddle him.

  “Is it OK if I sit like this?”

  He nods.

  “Well then, I’m not moving from here.”

  Eric kisses my lips and places his hot hands on my hips. “Of course you’re not going to move.”

  I grin and nibble his lips.

  “I’m going to move so much, they’ll hear you moaning in Australia.”

  “How tempting,” he purrs.

  I’m so happy to have him back in my arms.

  “Although, now that I think about it, I remember I told you I’d punish you later.”

  Eric stops and gives me a sad look.

  “You behaved very badly toward me. You didn’t trust me and—”

  “I know, sweetheart. I’ll never forgive myself.”

  I don’t smile because I want him to believe I’m going to punish him.

  “I need you, Jude . . . please. Punish me another day, I don’t want to be without you today.”

  “You’ve punished me without you for many days, Eric. Have you ever thought about that?”

  “Yes . . .” And he brings his mouth to me and implores, “Please, Jude . . .”

  Listening to him beg is music to my ears.

  He’s at my mercy.

  He needs me as much as I need him.

  “The punishment must be in accordance with your crime.”

  He doesn’t move. I know this is making him sore. He looks at me, waiting for instructions, but I can’t continue torturing him like this.

  “All right then, your punishment will be to satisfy me until I can’t take it anymore.”

  Eric lets out a laugh, and I grin. That’s one helluva punishment!

  He tempts me with his mouth.

  He runs his lips over mine, and, when I open my mouth, ready for him, he does what I like so much. He sticks out his tongue, sucks my upper lip, then the lower one. He nibbles it and finally kisses me. He eats me right up. It drives me crazy.

  All this time, his hard cock beats against my body.

  “Tear off my thong.”

  “Hmm . . . sweetheart, this is getting interesting.”

  He pulls on both sides of my hips, and the thong disintegrates. Yes!

  Eager to have him inside me, I take my husband’s tempting penis and direct it to the center of my desire, introducing it little by little.

  “I missed you,” I say.

  Eric’s hands go straight to my ass, and he gives me a spanking. Two. Three. And, without speaking, he demands I move. I obey, and he throws his head back and closes his eyes.

  Oh yes . . . Enjoy . . . Enjoy, my love.

  I grab his neck, and, biting his chin carefully, I move my hips back and forth and join in his gasps. I’m impaled again and again on my German’s cock, and I can’t breathe.

  My body trembles with what he makes me feel.

  My hormones, my body, and I ask for more. Aware of what I want, and even though he can’t move his leg, Eric grabs me by the hips and stops my movements.

  “Let me have my punishment, sweetheart.”

  That baffles me; I don’t want to stop. Suddenly, he jerks my hips in a way that drives me down even more on him and makes me scream. He knows I like it, and he repeats the move. This time we both scream. He goes deeper into me. Seven, eight, nine times, he repeats it, and, when the ecstasy peaks after so many days of drought, we let ourselves go.

  An hour later, I’m hugging him in bed and falling asleep.

  “Jude,” he whispers.

  “What?”

&nbs
p; “Fuck me.”

  I quickly open my eyes and turn to him.

  “I’d fuck you, but my leg won’t let me, and I want to finish my punishment.”

  I look at the clock: 12:45 a.m.

  It’s very late for my German.

  “Are you feeling playful?”

  My guy smiles and touches my hips.

  “I’ve been wanting you these days, and I need to make up for lost time.”

  I quickly get on board. I open the drawer on my night table and pull out the toy bag.

  “I’ll take off my thong before you rip it. Two in one night is too many.”

  Eric laughs. “Don’t turn on the light.”

  “Why not?”

  “I want the darkness to help me fantasize.”

  I take off my thong, and I sit on him in bed. I pull his pajamas down and immediately see how far along things are, even in the dark.

  “Well . . . well . . . well, Mr. Zimmerman. You are very, very needy indeed.”

  Eric smiles.

  “Too many days without you, Mrs. Zimmerman.”

  “Oh yeah?” After sliding down on my husband’s erect member, I bring my mouth close to his. “It’s your fault for not trusting me.”

  Eric slaps my ass hard and loud. Then he squeezes my ass with his big hands. “Tell me what you want, sweetheart, but fuck me.”

  His voice . . . and the darkness of the room drives us both mad.

  When he lies back on the bed, I have him at my mercy and eager to play. He wants to fantasize. Me too.

  “There’s a couple watching us,” I tell him, “and they want to see us play.”

  “Yes,” he murmurs.

  “The woman likes to watch you suck my nipples, and he wants,” I say as I put a toy in his hand, “for you to show him my ass and then place the anal ring inside me.”

  Eric’s fully in it now. He loves it!

  His breathing gets deeper, wheezier, as he sucks my nipples. Oh yes . . . they’re so sensitive, and I love the mix of bliss and pain. Without letting go of my nipples, he separates my ass cheeks.

  “Let the man look at your beautiful ass,” he says.

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  “He loves your butt, sweetheart. Look at how he’s enjoying it. He wants it.”

  “Yes . . .”

  “And he wants to see how hard I can penetrate you.”

  He jerks, which makes me gasp and bite his shoulder.

  “The woman is dying to suck your pretty nipples. Her mouth is watering, and with her eyes she’s asking me to let you go so she can have you.”