by Ford, Hope
I swear it’s almost like we are on our own honeymoon. His family has left and although Chelsey and Jason are still here, they have kept busy doing their own thing. We do agree to meet one night for dinner. Seeing how happy they are together makes me happy that they were able to work it out. I still can’t believe that she cancelled the wedding because she thought Jason was kissing another woman. However, I have tried to put myself in her shoes, and even though I have nothing tying me to Jack, it would kill me to see him with another woman.
Chelsey and I go to the ladies’ room together after dinner. As we are washing our hands, I tell her how happy I am for her.
“Me too. I never dreamed I could be this happy,” she exclaims with a wistful look on her face.
She meets my eyes in the mirror while I’m reapplying my lipstick. I don’t know why I bother, because Jack is going to kiss it off as soon as I get out of here.
“So what about you and Jack?” I can hear the hesitation in her voice.
“I dunno. It just sort of happened,” I tell her honestly.
Her forehead creases. “I’m just, uh, worried about you. I only know Jack from what Jason has told me. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
I shrug my shoulders and assure her that we are just having fun, but her comment leaves a heavy weight on me. In the beginning, we were just having fun. But now, I know I want more.
I grab her arm and we walk out of the bathroom to our men waiting for us.
I make a point to remain carefree. There are so many times I almost ask him about the future, but I don’t. I sort of already know the answer and I don’t want to face it before I have to.
The day we are supposed to leave, I pack our bags and he carries them to the rental car. I try to prepare myself for the plane ride, but when he drives by the airport, I ask him about it.
“I told you we would drive back.” He reaches over the console and wraps his hand around my thigh.
I lean up in my seat. “What? No! Jack, you have to be back at work tomorrow. I can’t have you drive nine hours today and then fly out tomorrow.”
“Em, I’m not putting you back on a plane. Not after the reaction you had the other day. I’m fine with driving. The more time I get to spend with just you is worth it.”
Warmth spreads across my chest. He really does care for me. The more I’ve gotten to know him these past few days, the more I realize how hard it is going to be to say goodbye to him.
We spend the whole nine hours talking about everything. Well, everything except tomorrow and him leaving me. It’s almost like we are avoiding the subject altogether. There is a solemnity in the air.
The only conversation we have about the future is when we get back into the car and he asks me out of the blue, “You plan on having kids?”
I was just about to put a pretzel in my mouth. “What?”
He shrugs and looks over at me, then stares ahead at the road. “Ya know, do you plan on having kids one day?”
I start to answer, but my voice is husky, so I clear my throat and then tell him, “Yeah, I want to have kids one day. A lot of them, actually.”
He chokes on the water he just drank. “A lot? How many is a lot?”
I shrug my shoulders. “Three, four, maybe five.”
I’m watching him closely and what at first may have been alarm, well, now he sort of looks like he’s okay with the idea. “Why do you want so many?”
I look out the window at the passing landscape. “Well, because I was an only child, and now that my grandma and my parents are gone, I don’t have anyone. I wouldn’t want my kids to not have anyone.”
He reaches for my hand in my lap and laces our fingers together. Bringing our hands up to his mouth, he kisses mine, forcing me to look over at him.
“You’re not alone, Em. And you’ll never be again,” he promises me.
After that, we both drift into silence. I want to ask him what that means, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I watch out the front of the car window, wishing I could freeze time. I yawn deeply from my lack of sleep the night before. Honestly, I could probably take a nap, but I don’t want to miss one second of being with him.
When we finally get to my house, I ask him if he’s going to stay the night.
“Abso-fuckin-lutely,” he declares before carrying me to the bedroom.
He spends the whole night making love to me. He’s on top of me, thrusting his hips against me, his cock spearing me at my core. His gaze is on my face and he doesn’t blink or look away. It’s almost like he’s trying to remember this moment forever. I can’t help but wonder if this is goodbye. I can tell by the look in his eyes that there’s something he wants to say, but I don’t push him. A lone tear escapes me and he leans down to catch it with his mouth before he kisses my lips. I fall asleep in his arms, wishing I had just one more day.
Jack
I sit on the chair next to the bed and I can’t take my eyes off of her. She’s naked, lying on her stomach with the covers at her feet. Her curves are on full display and heat burns in my lower belly for her. I want to touch every part of her and commit it to memory. I want to get back into bed and wrap myself around her. But I don’t have that choice. I have a responsibility. One that if I don’t show up for can cause risk for my workers.
There’s so much I realized this week with her. I know that I’m more than ready to settle down. I know that I would give anything to have her by my side for always. I hate to think that she is alone in this world and I’m going to have to leave her. That about has me doubled over in pain. I should have told her how I felt, but a part of me wonders if she’s ready for it. And another part of me wonders what kind of life I can give her if I’m gone all the time. She kept acting like our time together was almost up. Was it because she didn’t want me or because she knew I had to leave? I really should have talked to her about it.
I finish writing my note and lay it on the pillow next to her. She wanted me to wake her up before I left, but I know if I did, I wouldn’t be able to walk out the door. I lean down and kiss her hair before pulling the blankets up over her and walking to the door. I pick up my bag, then walk out of the house, locking it up behind me. I stand on her porch, wanting to walk back in. I’m a six foot three inch, two hundred and fifty pound man, but right now I feel weak. It’s killing me to leave her and all I want to do is walk back into the house… to her. But in the end, I get in the rental car and drive myself to the airport.
* * *
Emily
He left… and he didn’t wake me up. I knew as soon as I opened my eyes that he was gone. I didn’t even have to feel the cold sheets next to me to know that he was gone. I felt it in my heart. I lie back and stare up at the ceiling, a lone tear escaping and rolling down my cheek. I turn and look at the pillow next to me. I raise up when I see the note. Staring at it, I am a little scared to read it. Is it a goodbye letter, or does it have a promise for the future? I’m hoping the latter.
I roll to my side and pull the paper up to my face to start reading.
Emily,
I know you wanted me to wake you up. I’m sorry I didn’t. But I knew if I did, I wouldn’t be able to leave. And well, I have people depending on me. Their safety depends on me, or else I would have just quit, stayed in this bed with you, and started our life together.
I know we talked about everything except for the future yesterday. I almost brought it up a hundred times, but I couldn’t. Maybe because I didn’t want to think about leaving you. But I don’t want you to think it was because I didn’t want there to be an us.
I want you to be my future, Emily. I have no doubt about that. This last week with you was everything to me. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. But I also know that you’re young and I can’t expect you to wait for me. I’m home usually one to two weeks and then on the rig for three weeks. What kind of life would that be for us? You deserve a man that will be able to give you all the babies you want and will be around to help you raise them.
You don’t know how much I want to be that guy.
I don’t know how we can make this work. But I’m going to try my best. Until I figure something out, I will be on the oil rig for three weeks. I will call you every chance I get. Then I’m coming home to you. I know you deserve more than me, a roughneck covered in oil and grease. But even knowing that, I don’t think I can let you go completely.
With all my love,
Jack
Tears are pouring out of my eyes, because I would give anything to have him with me right now. I don’t even know what to think after reading his letter. I read it at least another dozen times before I realize that he does want me, but he doesn’t think I’ll be able to wait for him. Can I survive without him next to me for three weeks at a time? It’s hard to imagine, but it’s even harder to imagine my life without him in it at all.
I pick my phone up off the table next to the bed. I open the text app and start typing.
Please be safe. I’ll be here when you get back.
I know I’ll talk myself out of it if I don’t send the text so I quickly hit the send button and then reread the text at least ten times. When the little dots pop up on the screen telling me that he’s responding, I about drop my phone. I stare at it for the longest time it feels like, when finally, the message pops up.
I’ll come back to you as soon as I can.
Jack
Miserable. I’m miserable without her. The only thing that gets me through the day is knowing that I am going to talk to her each night. We talk on the phone every evening. She has been staying busy with classes, but she still makes sure that she’s available for my phone calls.
It seems like months since I’ve seen her, but in fact it’s only been a week.
As soon as I get off work, I grab some food from the dining hall and take it back to my room. I set it on the table, then jump in the shower to wash the day’s muck off of me. Drying myself off, I look at the clock and realize I have five minutes until I am supposed to call her.
I take a bite of my food and pick up my phone, dialing her number.
She picks up on the first ring.
“Hey!” she answers.
Her sweet voice makes me sit up. Just hearing it makes me want to make sure I don’t miss a thing. “Hey, baby. How was class?”
“It was good.” She goes on to tell me about her day. She loves what she’s doing and she can talk about it for hours. I don’t mind though. I just love hearing her voice. After we’ve talked for a while and I hear her yawning, I decide I better let her get to sleep.
“No, I’m fine Jack, I want to talk to you.”
“I can hear how tired you are. I’ll call you again tomorrow night.”
She hesitates. “Yeah, uh, about tomorrow.”
I roll my shoulders. “What is it?”
She doesn’t speak for a minute. “Uh, well, some of my classmates are going out tomorrow to celebrate after our exam. They want me to go with them, but I hate to miss your call.”
My mind freezes. I know I can’t expect her to sit at home waiting for my phone call. She’s young and needs to be out with friends.
“No, you should go. Definitely, you shouldn’t miss that. I know you’ve been stressed about that exam and you need to let off some steam.”
She whispers into the phone, “Will I still be able to talk to you tomorrow?”
“Sure, just call me when you get in.”
“It may be late. Maybe I’ll call you while I’m out, so I don’t keep you up waiting for me to call,” she offers, showing her concern for me and being able to do my job.
“Honey, honestly, I wouldn’t be able to sleep until I know you’re home safe,” I admit.
She agrees to call me the next night and I go to sleep with dreams of her. Always her.
* * *
Emily
I’m having fun with my friends. They are all drinking and having a good time, but I told them I would be the designated driver. I received a text from Jack at the same time we usually talk every night. It makes me happy to know that he’s thinking of me. Have fun and be safe.
I can’t stop the smile from forming on my face. I text him back a smiley face with hearts and then after I hit send, I start laughing. Jack isn’t really the type of guy that you send emojis to. I start to put my phone back in my pocket when it dings. Opening up the text app, there’s a heart emoji from Jack. I hold my phone to my chest and take a deep breath. Yep, I’m in love. There’s no doubt about it.
We have a great time and around midnight, everyone decides to go home. I drop off two of my friends at their houses and then drive the short distance to my house. Out of nowhere, a deer runs across the road and I slam on the breaks, turning the wheel as far as it will go. Everything happens in an instant, and I swear the car must have flipped what felt like twenty times. And then everything goes black.
Jack
I know something is wrong. I’ve been watching my phone from ten o’clock on and at midnight, I feel a sick rush travel through my body. I know I need to get to her.
I’ve tried calling her over and over and she’s not answering.
I call my brother.
“Yeah?” he answers groggily.
“Jason, there’s something wrong with Emily. I need you to find her,” I plead with him, trying to keep the anguish out of my voice.
“What are you talking…?” he asks, but I interrupt him.
“Jason, please, I’m telling you. She needs me, please find her. I can’t lose her, man, I can’t,” I beg him.
He’s quiet for a second and then finally answers me. I can hear Chelsey in the background and he’s telling her to get dressed. “Okay, brother. We’ll find her.”
I hang up the phone and run to the quarters of my second in command, telling him I have an emergency at home. I then drive to the airport and wait for the next available flight to Tennessee.
I have two hours until I board and I’m pacing the terminal waiting to hear back from Jason. When I finally get the call, I fall to my knees, praying that she’s going to be okay.
I know as soon as I hear his voice that it’s bad. “Jack, she’s unconscious. We found her on the way to her house. She went off the road and the ambulance was already there loading her up. Chelsey is with her.”
I cry into the phone. “Is she going to be okay?”
“I don’t know, Jack. There—there was blood everywhere. Get here as soon as you can.” “Don’t leave her. Please make sure someone stays with her until I get there,” I plead with him.
“We won’t leave her, brother,” he tells me softly.
I turn off the phone and lean over onto my knees. I want to scream, I want to punch things. I am so overwhelmed I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how long I sit there, but finally I hear them call for my flight.
* * *
Emily
My head hurts and I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. I have a pressure on my belly and I lift my hand to touch it. My arm feels like it weighs a hundred pounds and when I get to my stomach, I let it drop, landing with a hard thud.
A grunt has me opening my eyes. The light is blinding, so I close them until they are only slits.
The pressure on my stomach lifts and in front of me is Jack. He’s staring back at me, wide-eyed and with hope in his eyes.
“Jack,” I mutter and my face flinches at the pain in my throat.
Jack stands up and holds a straw to my mouth. “They had to intubate you. It’s probably given you a sore throat, honey. You don’t have to talk.”
“How long?” I whisper to him, taking in his long beard and shaggy hair.
“Three weeks.”
“Your job!” I exclaim in a loud husky voice.
“My job’s not important. The only thing that is important right now is you.”
“Am I going to be all right?” I ask him fearfully.
“Yes. You had a pretty bad concussion, but they said we just needed to let you rest so your body could heal.�
�
I reach for his hand and he holds on to me tightly. “I love you, Jack. I was worried that I would never be able to tell you that.”
“I love you too, Em. More than anything. I’m never leaving you again.”
He bends down and presses his lips to mine.
Epilogue
Jack
Five Years Later
I never went back to my job on the oil rig. I had enough savings to last for a while and I spent those three weeks in the hospital with Emily. It was important to me that I kept my promise that she wouldn’t be alone again.
Emily finally built up her strength. The school worked with her and she was still able to graduate on time. She is now a nurse in the emergency room at the local hospital.
I found a job where I could use my engineering degree. Plus, it allowed me to be home every night. Which these days is important.
Shortly after Emily graduated, we got married and started having babies. We have three now and the joy on Emily’s face when she looks at her babies is enough to keep me happy for the rest of my life.
“What are you smiling about?” my wife asks me.
I wrap my arms around her and bring her in to me for a hug. “About how I kept my promise to you.”
She reaches up on her tiptoes and kisses me. “Which promise is that?”
I look over her head at our two little boys and our youngest, a little girl. They’re all playing in the back yard while Emily and I are grilling dinner.
“The one where I promised you that you’d never be alone again.” I kiss the tip of her nose and then lean down to hug her.
