All The Lies

by Kent, Rina

  He reaches his free hand and twirls a hard, pebbled nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

  “Ash…oh…God…”

  I come, crying his name out loud. He claims my mouth with his to shut me up.

  He kisses me, long and hard like he can’t get enough.

  He shatters me then gathers me up and puts me back together.

  I don’t want to stop kissing him, but I need more from him.

  So much more.

  I reach for his belt with unsteady hands.

  “What do you want, prom queen?” he asks with an edge of amusement.

  “You, Ash.”

  “Reina,” he growls my name, and I swear his cock thickens even more.

  He’s about to help me unbuckle his belt when a rustling sound comes from the locker room.

  We both freeze.

  “Who’s there?” I whisper.

  Asher places a hand on my mouth. “Shh, if anyone finds us, we’ll be suspended.”

  Right. He’s not supposed to be in the girls’ locker room, or screwing someone in the showers.

  He helps me get down on my feet. When no other sound follows, he opens the door.

  “Where are you going?” I can’t shake the disappointment out of my voice.

  His eyes drag over my body, slow and with purpose. “I’ll wait for you at the car.”

  At the car? He’s really leaving me like this?

  “We’ll finish at home.” He winks and steps out.

  Oh.

  I bite my lower lip at the promise. Maybe this time, I’ll convince him to forgive me. Maybe not only will our bodies come together, our hearts will too.

  Maybe, just maybe, after all these years of separation, we can find a compromise.

  Because I want to be a part of Asher’s life.

  I finish my shower in record time even though my skin is sensitive and heated because of the orgasm he wrenched out of me.

  It doesn’t take me long to pull on my jeans, top, and shoes.

  I take one last look at the mirror and pause at my flushed cheeks. A smile breaks out on my lips, genuine and…I can almost say…happy.

  Happy.

  I never thought that word could taste so sweet.

  I throw my bag over my shoulder as I push on the door. It’s locked.

  What?

  I pull on it, but it doesn’t move.

  They can’t close now. There are other students still on campus at this time.

  The lights flicker before the locker room goes black.

  I stop breathing.

  No, no.

  This can’t be happening. Not again.

  My pulse spikes as I reach into my bag for my phone. This time, I make sure not to drop it.

  I’m trembling all over, my fingers barely able to type anything.

  I search for Asher’s phone number, but before I can hit it, there’s another rustling sound behind me.

  I spin around, but it’s too late.

  My face slams against something hard and my vision goes black.

  This is what happens when you don’t play by the rules, Reina.

  You lose.

  Hands reach out for me as I run down a dark, filthy alley.

  “Rai…”

  “Go, Rai.”

  “Run! You have to go.”

  My heart thumps louder at that voice. I know that voice.

  That voice has been caught between my heart and my ribcage for as long as I can remember.

  I’ve been missing that voice from my life, and it has finally returned.

  Reina?

  I startle awake, my chest constricting with a frightening force.

  “Reina? Are you okay?”

  I’m disoriented for a second. It’s like I’m still in that alley, battling against the invisible hands coming for me.

  It takes me a few blinks to realize I’m home, lying on my bed. Izzy sits beside me, wiping sweat off my forehead.

  The back of my throat feels dry and scratchy. “W-what happened?”

  Her brows furrow with concern. “Aren’t you supposed to tell us that?”

  My throat itches as I speak. “What do you mean?”

  A look of sympathy covers her features. “Asher found you passed out in the locker room at school.”

  Memories crush down on my brain. Asher and me in the showers. We agreed to meet outside then…then the lights went off. Something collided with my head and then everything went black.

  “Did Asher see what happened?” I ask Izzy.

  “I don’t think so. He did report it to the administration, though.”

  Not that they’ll do anything. They found no footage the previous two times. This one won’t be any different.

  My fingers tremble as I pull the sheet up to my chin. The back of my head hurts and something in my body feels sour and beaten up as if I’ve been running the entire day.

  “Where…” I clear my throat from the onslaught of emotions. “Where’s Asher?”

  “He just stepped out,” she says with a tight smile. “He’ll be right back.”

  I try not to feel betrayed that he left me in this state, but an ominous feeling gnaws at my insides.

  Something is wrong. Completely wrong.

  “There you are.” Jason steps into the room, his brows scrunched.

  “You’re not supposed to be here,” Izzy scolds.

  “It’s fine,” I say as he sits on the side of my bed.

  Jason is most likely Cloud003, but as I watch his eyes, I don’t think he’s my attacker.

  “Jason!” Izzy hisses. “Stand up.”

  “I was worried about you.” He ignores his mother, his features hardening. “This is getting serious.”

  “Serious?” I repeat.

  He exchanges looks with Izzy, as if getting her permission.

  “Don’t you dare.” Izzy stands over us like the Grim Reaper, glaring down at her son.

  “She deserves to know,” he says.

  “It’s not our place to tell her,” she argues.

  “I deserve to know what?” I stare between them.

  Izzy shakes her head frantically.

  “Tell me.” I pull on the sleeve of Jason’s hoodie.

  He finally breaks eye contact with his mother and meets mine.

  “This incident, the one from the classroom, and even the one on the rooftop were all…” He trails off.

  “Were all what?” My voice is as haunted as I feel.

  “They’re similar to things you dared others to do.”

  “W-what?”

  “I think someone is taking revenge on you, Reina. They’re making you pay for what you’ve done.”

  I try to breathe, but I can’t. Liquid streams down my cheeks, and it’s then I realize it’s tears.

  This…can’t be happening.

  “It’s increasing in intensity,” Jason continues. “What if next time—”

  Izzy swats him, cutting him off mid-sentence. Before I can urge him to keep going, Asher appears in the doorway.

  He glares at how close Jason is sitting to me then narrows his eyes on the tears streaming down my cheeks.

  “What are you doing here?” he asks Jason.

  “I told him to stay.” I sniffle.

  Izzy pulls her son by the arm and nods in Asher’s direction. “We were just leaving. Get better soon, Reina.”

  The door closes behind them, leaving Asher and me alone.

  He stays at the entrance, watching with a shuttered expression, his thick lashes fluttering down on darkened eyes.

  Something in me lightens at seeing him. He’s always been there after every atrocity. He’s not a white knight per se –black knight is more fitting, but the fact that he’s always been there makes my heart race.

  He finally strides toward me with both his hands shoved in his pockets. He’s changed into sweatpants and a simple white T-shirt that contrasts with his tanned skin and those veiny forearms.

  He sits where Jason was and wipes a te

ar with the pad of his thumb.

  “Why are you crying? What did Jason say?”

  “He said someone is taking revenge on me. Is that true?”

  His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t say anything to confirm or deny.

  “Why didn’t you tell me before?” My lower lip quivers.

  His fist clenches, but he continues his silence.

  My skin prickles with pent-up energy when he ignores me like this.

  “What am I supposed to do now?” I murmur. “How am I supposed to ask for forgiveness or move forward if I don’t know who or what I’m up against?”

  “I’m sure they’ll show themselves.” He wipes the rest of my tears with his thumb.

  “What if they don’t?”

  “You’re strong, prom queen. You’ve escaped them three times, haven’t you?”

  “How long do you think I can stay strong? What if I’m weak inside?” I sniffle, meeting his gaze. “Would you let me lean on you?”

  He pauses at my cheek before he resumes his ministrations. “Why would you want that?”

  “I just want to, okay?” I reach over and wrap my arms around his waist, my head resting against his heartbeat. “Don’t push me away, Ash.”

  He stiffens. “It’s Asher.”

  “Whatever, Ash is better.” I tighten my hold around his narrow, sculpted waist. My nose nuzzles in his T-shirt and I breathe him in, his sandalwood scent and his warmth. I don’t want to be apart from him anymore. I don’t want to fight the feelings I’ve developed for him.

  “You’re playing with fire, Reina,” he says lowly, almost apologetically.

  “Then I’ll just burn.”

  It takes him a few seconds before he wraps an arm around my back and pats my head with the other one.

  He’s hugging me. Asher is hugging me.

  He pulls me into him and lets me sleep in the curve of his body, my neck hidden in his neck and my legs nestled between his.

  “Just sleep,” he murmurs against my head, planting a chaste kiss on top.

  As I close my eyes, I know I’ll sleep the best I have in ages.

  Because I finally feel like I belong.

  “We’ll be together forever?”

  Her hand lies on my chest, where my heart beats loud, tears welling in her eyes. “Even if I’m not here in person, I’ll always be here, Rai.”

  I nod several times and hold on to her hand like it’s the only line I have in life. “You’ll be okay, Rei.”

  She smiles, her nose twitching a little. “No. We will be okay.”

  When I speak, my voice is barely a whisper, “I love you, Reina.”

  “Love you, too, Rai.”

  My eyes shoot open to be greeted by the darkness.

  Deep, uncontrollable darkness.

  I open my mouth to shriek, but no sound comes out. A heavy weight settles on my chest, shifting as if about to burst through.

  That’s when I realize I’m not breathing. Nothing is suffocating my air, so why the hell am I not breathing?

  Breathe.

  Breathe.

  “Reina!”

  My lungs kick into gear at that voice. That low, firm voice with the slight huskiness.

  A light illuminates the room and with it, my lungs regain their functions. I gasp for air as if I were drowning and now I’m finally seeing the surface.

  Strong arms hold me in a steel-like cage as I breathe in and out.

  Inhale. Exhale.

  Sandalwood and citrus.

  Asher.

  My nails dig into the thin material of his T-shirt as I stare up at him. Blurriness still clouds my vision from the tears in the dream—or memory.

  He watches me with an indecipherable expression. His thick brows furrow downward as his thumb strokes the skin of my belly where my top meets my shorts.

  Up and down. Up and down.

  The friction his touch creates is like a soothing lullaby. A reason to breathe. To remain here.

  Asher must’ve showered because his hair is half damp, falling over his forehead in a perfect mess. With the bedside lamp on, the green of his eyes flickers to a darker color like the night or… the unknown.

  Why do I keep gravitating toward the unknown? Is it the thrill? The feeling of having my will taken away?

  True, that unknown keeps the gloomy cloud at bay. Asher’s presence, although not always pleasant, has been an anchor.

  Something I can lean on, something I can watch and breathe.

  “What was it?” he asks in that suspicious tone that he’s been using with me since I woke up in the hospital.

  It’s like I breathe and he suspects I have an ulterior motive behind that.

  “Reina.”

  One word. It’s just one word, my name, but he says it with so much authority, so much power, my thighs quiver.

  How would it feel like if he used that voice while he’s inside me and —

  I internally shake my head. That’s a totally wrong image at this time.

  “It was…” My voice comes out hoarse as if I’ve been shrieking at the top of my lungs. I clear my throat. “Just a dream.”

  “What kind of dream?” His piercing gaze remains the same, hard and unyielding.

  He’s not letting this go.

  I lean my head further so it lies on his solid shoulder and I get a complete view of his features. Something has changed about them, they’re almost… softening.

  There’s no trace of the Asher who only looked at me with pure hatred.

  “It’s not important,” I say.

  “Tell me and I’ll decide whether it’s important or not.”

  “It doesn’t make sense, okay?” I sigh. “I was calling someone else Reina. It’s obviously some play of my subconscious.”

  “Play of your subconscious,” he repeats with a neutral tone as if he’s feeling the words or trying to figure out why I said them.

  His expression remains sealed for the most part, but his grip around me tightens a little. “What else happened?”

  “The voice called me Rai and we promised each other things… I don’t know. I told you. It doesn’t make sense.”

  “Have you had such dreams before?”

  “Yeah. A few times.” I pause, squinting at the distance. “Now that I think about it, it was always like I was talking to myself.”

  “Talking to yourself. Interesting.”

  “Why? What do you think happened?”

  The calculating streak rushes back to his features. “I’m piecing it together myself.”

  “It doesn’t make sense, what’s there to piece?”

  “Is that what you really think?”

  I swallow the lump at the back of my throat. “I…don’t know.”

  And I don’t want to know. Those dreams must be some cruel joke from my subconscious. Otherwise, things will turn for the worst.

  That could mean I have a dissociative personality disorder or something. That’s the only explanation for the fact I talk to myself and have two names for me.

  There’s also the possibility of a twin, but it’s null and void. I’ve been an only child my entire life.

  The up and down of Asher’s thumb on my hip stops for a second before resuming.

  My heart picks up speed the more he touches me. I’m drowning in him. In his aftershave with that light citrus, masculine scent. In the warmth of his embrace.

  How could he become so warm after he was so cold?

  What changed?

  “Why are you here, Ash?” I ask in a low tone.

  “It’s Asher,” I swear he stopped himself from rolling his eyes. “And you were crying last night, remember? You kind of clung to me.”

  “You could’ve left when I was asleep. Actually, you did. You had a shower and a change of clothes. So why did you come back?”

  He’s silent for a few seconds, the air stretching with unsaid words, before a deep sigh rips from him. “Go back to sleep, Reina.”

  I dig my fingers harder into his chest. “No. Tell me. If you hate me so much, why do you keep coming back to me?”

  His silence war returns and I expect him to shut me off, to pretend we never had this conversation.

  Hell, I expect him to get up and walk out of the room. Sure, I should’ve had what I could get from Asher. I should’ve probably kept my mouth shut and slept in his embrace and pretended nothing happened.

  But I owe myself so much more than that.

  True, Old Reina was a devil’s spawn and she hurt Asher in some way, but I’m not her anymore. If he can’t see that, if he can’t differentiate between the two of us, then he doesn’t deserve the new me.

  Instead of pushing me off and walking away, Asher’s jaw clenches and his eyes find mine. They’re green, raw, and…confused?

  “I don’t know.”

  “You don’t?” I whisper as I feel his words hitting a deep, secret part of me.

  A part I thought was sealed and protected.

  A part I thought Asher would never reach.

  How could his mere words open the gates to my armored heart? How could I let him touch me so deeply?

  Am I too far gone?

  Asher flips me over and I land underneath him with a gasp. His massive body hovers over me as his thighs cage mine and one of his hands prisons both my wrists above my head on the pillow.

  My heart rate picks up and a strange sensation claws at the bottom of my stomach. No, not strange. That sensation is exclusive to Asher. Whenever he’s in view, whenever he’s in my immediate vicinity, that need to fuse myself with him grips my being and refuses to let go.

  He’s tenacious that way, Asher.

  He broke me in a whole different way than he initially planned. He was after my spirit, he got my heart.

  My stupid, fluttering heart.

  “Yes, Reina. I don’t know why the fuck I can’t stop thinking about your laugh and your smile. I don’t know why I keep watching you all the time. I don’t know why my dick only comes to life when you’re around.” He strokes his thumb along my jaw, keeping me pinned in place. “So why don’t you tell me? What type of fucking game are you playing this time?”

  With every word out of his mouth, my chest flutters and my thighs become slick with arousal.

  Softening my tone, I whisper. “No games. It’s me. Just me.”

  “Just you.”

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