The Hamam Diaries Continued

by Sebastian J Stone

  Never attend a concert in Greece, the audience always arrives late and they spend time sitting and standing repeatedly while smiling, on the pretext of removing or adjusting clothing. This performance is for the sole purpose of drawing attention, because they are attending a ‘cultural event’ and want to be seen. Throughout the concert they spend their time looking for and waving to friends, while their children run around the hall. It is intolerable.

  The musician sat at the piano and never have I seen such presence since Shura Cherkassky, with the first cords she silenced the hall. She finished with a Greek show peace that impressed the audience and broke a bass string. Greeks have little awareness of art but are very impressed by virtuosity and noise. Everybody rushed to compliment her. My friend insisted on shaking her hand and had a few words, she looked very confused.

  May 15, 2009:

  Dirty Tassos is still washing every body’s dick, If Vangelis confronts him, he says, “It’s not me” if Vangelis says “But I saw you” he replies, “I hate dicks, it’s those gays”. Dirty Tassos forgets to wash the soap of their dicks after he’s given them a good rub. If a customer objects, he gets a three-minute massage only. If the customer does not object Tassos gives them one hour, despite the queue waiting outside.

  I have told Vangelis that I want no part of this set up. I told Vangelis, “You cannot knowingly take money from a customer and hand them over to a compulsive pervert”. Vangelis is convinced that I am jealous.

  Today Luke asked me to join him in Claire’s house, he said, ‘I want you to be with me when I tell Claire some truths, because she doesn’t believe me’. He told her, “You are a lousy fuck, give a terrible blow job, you’re selfish, manipulating, malicious, calculating, aggressive, confrontational, a public flirt, lazy you bad mouth everybody and you’re a wrinkly old cunt.” He seems to know her very well. Claire said once he had departed, ‘He doesn’t know what he’s saying after he’s had a drink.’ Claire is reading a book about alcoholism and apparently, Luke is “typically delusional.” Her ego remained intact. On a previous occasion she said “he’s holding a mirror”.

  May 18, 2009:

  I have told Vangelis to direct all vulnerable young men to me. When I arrived this morning D. Tassos had started massaging a very fine straight American for the second time. Vangelis shrugged when I told him about the American’s situation, and he said, “Seb, I cannot be seen to favor you”. I was sitting outside when the American and his girlfriend left. She, glowing with excitement asked ‘How was it?’ looking very pale he said, ‘Well, it was a bit strange really, he finished the massage and then he started again, and he washed everything.’

  I told Vangelis and he replied, ‘Well Seb, they can always say no.’ I was angry, I said, ‘We are not Greek and we find it very disturbing and prefer to pretend that nothing has happened to avoid confrontation or embarrassment.’ Vangelis continued, ‘But Seb he tells me he hates dicks, he really thinks I don’t know that he’s a pousti; he’s been sucking dicks in the park since he was twelve. He is an expert Seb. And we can’t stop him.’

  A nervous, beautiful young man arrived, massaging is very painful for my leg but I insisted on massaging him in the main cool room, in full view of everybody. I insisted yet again that Vangelis gives the gays to Tassos and makes sure that I have all vulnerable young men also families and friends who come together, but Vangelis, like everybody else, is afraid of dirty Tassos.

  The basis of Tassos’s power is that he has no shame. He reports people and believes his own lies. Later I saw D. Tassos leaving the hot room with his arm around an American footballer’s shoulders. He was laughing too loudly and slapping him on the back in that male bonding manner. The footballer looked very drawn and white, pretending to join in the comradely.

  May 19, 2009:

  An English artist who hasn’t paid her rent for nine months is suffering from enteritis. She sent her pretty-Greek-boyfriend shopping and he returned without food, brandy, beer and cigarettes. The artist and her friend both have work and Claire is feeding them and lending them money. The artist is too ill to work now and her boyfriend is permanently high on drugs and alcohol. Claire will also end up paying their rent.

  Luke is now taking Claire her morning coffee in bed and showing her signs of regard and affection, I am glad that I did not interfere or even show concern during his embarrassing performance a few days ago.

  Today a very handsome French man of about 22 booked a massage. D. Tassos was doing a massage so I took the French man into the hot room. From the start, he made it clear that he is open to the possibility of sex. I gave him a prolonged and sensual massage. With only the slightest indication he offered me his inner thighs, armpits and ass for extra attention.

  The Frenchman relaxed, his dick remaining slightly engorged. Then without warning he became aroused and his dick erect. I could hear D. Tassos pouring water so we would be left in peace. I massaged the French man’s groin, balls and between his legs. His eyes remained closed and a smile flickered over his lips. I took hold of his shaft firmly and felt the last remnants of tension dissolve. This moment between pleasurable passivity and sexual arousal is very significant. Sometimes this moment, like a kiss, can be a satisfying experience, complete and final.

  I spent time sucking and stimulating his fine dick and the French man inferred his satisfaction indicating that I should continue. Sensing a mutual need to explore and satisfy his very nice ass he turned over and moved his legs apart sufficiently to invite my attention. There was no urgency. I enjoyed the sight and feel of his beautiful body and explored the deep cleft of his ass.

  His mood changed and lifting his ass I stimulated his entire genital area. With my left thumb massaging his prostate and my fingers caressing his balls, I manipulated his glans before masturbating his rigid dick and he had an easy and spontaneous orgasm. We collapsed on the warm floor and his eyes sort mine in mutual amusement and satisfaction.

  In the afternoon, another French man arrived; he was trained to perfection and in superb condition. He came with his wife who must have been in her twenties. I decided that the French man could be over sixty. He arranged with Vangelis for me to massage him towards the end of the day. It was obvious that he was interested in sex but he had the very irritating habit of looking at Vangelis when addressing me.

  Vangelis sent the French man to D. Tassos, with the words ‘Sorry Seb but I have to keep him happy’. Dirty Stavros later told me ‘All Vangelis cares about is the money, he’s going to spoil everything’ the French man got his very thick erection well soaped. Stavros said, ‘Tassos sucked his dick and put his fingers up his ass and yesterday he did twenty-five blow jobs.’

  May 20, 2009:

  At the end of day Vangelis forced a massage on an Indian who was too polite to refuse and probably about 40. He didn’t want a bath because he was only sightseeing. He seemed very nervous and so I asked him to sit on a stool but that didn’t suit him so I asked him to lie on the heated floor. He didn’t like the scrubbing glove so I washed him by hand. He tolerated the massage with reluctance and I stayed well away from his mid-section. He let me continue only because he was polite. When he did begin to relax, he became very worried and so I rinsed him down.

  We sat in the changing room, talking. Once dressed, he felt much happier and grateful for company, he asked, ‘Do gay people come here?’--- ‘Yes’ and I went on to explain ‘but it’s not a gay place.’--- ‘Are you gay?’ he asked, ‘Yes, but it has never been a problem and as far as the world is concerned I am not gay’. He then said, ‘Because, I’m straight.’--- ‘I never thought otherwise’ I lied. Then he added with serious concern, ‘I felt very worried when I began to relax.’

  I was in conversation with a lonely disturbed and complex man, I tried to relate the situation to his fears ‘It’s ok, I used to teach Pakistani and Indian children, and I know you are not comfortable in some situations, like public baths.’ I then added to help him, retrieve some dignity ‘The Hamam is now empty
; you can go back and relax in peace if you want to.’ He looked relieved even grateful and returned to the hot room alone.

  I was sitting outside the baths and the Indian came to talk to me as he was leaving. He told me how people made friends with him to take advantage of him. He told me, ‘I am a Catholic from Goa, and a businessman and I have to travel all the time’. I told Vangelis about the Indian and his reply still puzzles me, ‘I hope all his sons are gay.’

  Vangelis is criticizing me for being concerned for the client’s welfare. This seems to be a Greek attitude. All the shops selling plastic or nylon for leather or silk are proud of cheating. I am trying to impress upon him the importance of not lying to me about what he charges because I want to ensure customer satisfaction. Vangelis does not seem to understand, yet he offers Greeks special deals and then asks me to give them extra time, so they will return.

  I always did take a stance in favor of the victim and for this reason I was viewed as “The weak link in the chain” by the teaching profession. Vangelis has told me to take any boy that I think could be vulnerable and he has told Tassos ‘Seb has first choice.’ I told Vangelis, ‘Fuck that, tell him that I can be trusted not to suck their dicks.’--- ‘No Seb’ he replied, ‘I can’t tell him that.’ He has put all the responsibility on to me now.

  I am in a situation where I could become the victim and be made the scapegoat for the Greek perverts. I work in agony for two euros a massage, Tassos gets less than me but he doesn’t mind because he has never had so many dicks every day in his life. It is an anomaly that a disgusting compulsive old reek pervert is seen to be less threatening or perverted then an English gentleman, who at least shows some discretion.

  Many of the boys I rescue for their own protection and to protect Vangelis, get a second massage from Tassos but that was their choice and therefore becomes their responsibility. One boy I rescued joined his friend who was with Tassos, only after I had checked that Tassos was not sucking his dick; I saw them both later, all smiles and giggles. I asked no question.

  May 21, 2009:

  Claire and the Artist, who seems to have recovered from enteritis, both have younger lovers. The artist’s Greek boyfriend is very good looking, affectionate, good in bed and has a phenomenal dick, we are told. He also has a history of drug abuse and alcoholism. I pointed out that if they like young dicks, the price is high one way or the other because young dicks are attached to young men who probably have ulterior motives or their own agenda. Claire was furious pointing out “At least we know what we are doing and they should be grateful.”

  To make my point I added, “It is against a man’s instincts to waste his seed on infertile soil.” She turned on me, “What you are saying is, we are old but should be grateful. Well that’s worthy of Bernard Manning,” (A British comedian specializing in abuse and vulgarity for laughs). I added, “Don’t imagine that fucking a 20-year-old is an achievement because they would fuck a dog if it let them”.

  May 22, 2009:

  Towards the end of the day my soldier friend returned, he walked straight into the hot room and ordered everybody out then lay on his stomach. ‘Make it a good one, I need massage’ He said. I did my best and he left very happy. An uncomplicated young man full of energy with an erection, desperate for relief is a satisfying and amusing experience. If I expected anything more I would be in line for a broken heart, thank God for Greek boys and the Hamam.

  When I fell in love with Jose at the age of 20, I was enthralled by his proximity and beauty also the organic reality of sex. I was possessive but I knew that I could never own him. Jose loved me more than I loved him until I became consumed by love and dependent at that very juncture I began to lose him. When Jose found a new lover, I was wretched, his words were “This one’s even better” this robbed me of self-esteem, he needed the satisfaction of wounding and I vowed never to fall in love again. Or was it a vow to never become emotionally dependent again.

  The last three months in the army without Jose were spent with Michael and I was happy, apart from the constant pain of loss that gradually became acceptance. I missed sex and the love of a boy but sex and youth did not seem to fulfill my needs for the security of friendship. I was happier with Michael. Beautiful young men may be worthy of adoration but not trust. Jose remained my obsession long after I became emotionally secure with Eleanor.

  I knew that Eleanor could never hurt me as Jose did. Our friendship was far deeper and more profound than anything I could find with Jose. We had sex but the relationship was not sexual and the longing for a muscular male body and a hard dick never left me. Bisexuals can have the best of both worlds or be permanently doomed to discontentment; I suppose that it is rather like, ‘is a glass half full or half empty?’

  There is one Jewish Arab man who has just returned from America. I forget his explanation for his identity, I didn’t understand. We always have some degree of uncomplicated sex. I have noticed that he pees himself all the time when he is sexually aroused. He has a girlfriend and he tells me that he is sexually exhausted after spending time with her.

  By chance I mentioned ‘bisexual’ and he looked surprised and said, ‘I have never done anything homosexual in my life.’ I took my finger out of his ass and notice his erection dribbling clear urine and made no reply. Some people fear they might be gay all their lives with very little justification and no experience but others are actively involved in gay sex but fail to acknowledge this obvious truth. It doesn’t seem to have crossed their minds that sex with a man is homosexual. The question is what do they define, as being gay? The answer will no doubt unfold in time.

  This is an important observation because my books, I am beginning to realize, are an exploration of homosexuality in what is probably the world of normality. The problem seems to be the use of labels. To quote Gull, there is a saying in Pakistan “A bad man can enjoy, but a labeled man is punished”. I recall situations in the teaching profession that could to be explained by this disturbing aphorism.

  May 25, 2009:

  Today I was tired after a busy morning when my ‘Jewish Arab’ friend arrived. He went into the hot room and asked for a massage. As soon as I touched his thighs, his erection sprang from his groin and he became very heavy and relaxed in passive submission. We don’t make love but it seems that we have uncomplicated fun, apart from him peeing himself all the time.

  This morning, Vangelis gave a very beautiful young man whom I assumed to be Greek to Tassos. I was concerned but the boy insisted on being massaged by Tassos. The boy got his ass well soaped for half an hour and the massage went on for a very long time. As the boy was leaving we meet in the door way, he looked down avoiding my eyes and ran from the Hamam. I was jealous but also deeply concerned, that boy was probably susceptible and went beyond his comfort zone and I discovered later, that he was married. I think he mistook my insistence for desire or something.

  Vangelis is putting young people in situations that could cause them distress just to avoid upsetting a disgusting old pervert. To Greeks, gay sex seems to be a joke. I was so angry with Vangelis’s dismissive attitude; I said, “Do you remember a French boy yesterday morning who walked strangely. Well he jumped off a roof to kill himself when he was 14 because he feared that he could be gay. It’s not a joke to anybody, except you fucking Greeks.”

  June 17, 2009:

  Today is my mother’s birthday. My knee is not right yet but I am coping. I massaged a beautiful boy of 22 this morning, he was probably English but we didn’t speak. He was quite tall with red gold hair, a long elegant body, nicely muscled with green eyes. I rescued him from D. Tassos because he looked to be the sensitive sort of northern boy who could be traumatized by an old Greek pervert.

  Despite the heat, I massaged him in the hot room because I wanted privacy. The boy relaxed immediately, his body submissive, inviting sensuality but his dick remained dormant. The more sensual and loving my massage the more compliant he became. I asked the boy to lie on his stomach again and I spent ex
tra time, enjoying and exploring his muscular back, prominent ass and slim thighs. His legs were apart but not in such a way as to provoke intimacy or intrusion. I could clearly see the base of his erection and spent extra time on his ass on the pretext of searching for points of tension under his iliac crests. His legs moved further apart to assists my search.

  The boy turned on his back again, making some attempt to hide or apologize for his erection which was not persistent only engorged, he showed no concern when I concentrated on his lower stomach, groin and thighs. I felt his growing invitation for pleasure and took hold of his balls with a well soaped hand, feeling his last traces of resistance vanish. His legs fell wider apart and my soapy fingers explored between his legs.

  He seemed eager for sexual arousal; I took his now rigid shaft in my hand and felt gratitude suffuse his body as I gently massaged his balls stimulating his dick with a gentle milking action. His dick did not respond by stiffening but his whole body relaxed as he ejaculated in a constant and easy flow flooding my fist and his stomach in thick creamy smooth semen. I wiped it over my dick and ass.

  He did not move and I waited until his dick eased before flooding him with copious amounts of warm water. We did not speak. In his own time, he stood up as Vangelis called from the door ‘Your girlfriend’s waiting.’ Our eyes met briefly in a moment of shared acknowledgment, and he was gone. I feel no better than dirty Tassos.

  June 19, 2009:

  This morning I massaged a very fine Serbian. He was probably in his late 30s powerfully built and very handsome. He lay on his back, legs apart and he enjoyed the sensuality of my searching massage. His dick was so big, it reached the floor between his legs and he knew that I had noticed. He would probably not have objected if I had washed it for him. Standing for a moment after the massage he gave me a knowing smile, and left.