Fire and Ice

by Sherrilyn Kenyon

  "You can barely breathe, period." Theo put he oxygen mask back in place.

  Adron narrowed his eyes at the man, but as usual, Theo didn't care. Over the last five years, their battle of wills had become legendary in the hospital gossip mill.

  Theo brushed a hand though his graying black hair while he scowled at him. "I can't believe you'd even try to have sex in your condition. What were you thinking?"

  Adron jerked the mask off. "I'm not a friggin' eunuch."

  "No, you're not," Theo said, putting the mask back in place. "You're a man whose internal organs are barely fused together. Their functionality is minimal at best, and any strain on them can kill you. How many times do I have to tell you that you can't put any pressure on your abdomen."

  "Well, if I have to die, I'd rather go out with a good bang."

  "You're not funny."

  His throat tight, Adron closed his eyes. An image of Livia drifted through his mind, and he cursed it.

  Theo checked his IV. "If you'd wear your chest brace-"

  "It's hot and it chafes."

  "Like it or not, Adron, one misplaced fall and you could break and collapse every bone in your chest."

  Adron removed the mask again. "I don't care. I'm not going to wear that monstrosity. It makes me look like a freak."

  Theo rolled his eyes. "One day, that stubbornness is going to get you killed." More roughly than before, Theo replaced the mask. "By the way, there's a reason why I don't give you medicine to completely numb your pain. You need to feel it to know the limitations of your damaged body. Tell your wife it was a nice thought, but in the future you better not let her help you. Not unless you want to become my permanent guest here at Hotel Hell."

  Theo stopped at the door and turned back to face him. "And the next time you want to have sex, you better find some way to do it without putting any strain on your chest or abdomen."

  ###

  "Hey, big brother."

  Adron opened his eyes to see Zarina leaning into the room. He tried to muster a smile, but couldn't.

  "Theo the Bad just said it was okay to see you. How do you feel?"

  Zarina took a hesitant step inside his room, and it was then he saw Livia behind her. His wife had her long hair braided down her back. The blue pantsuit made her skin glow and those large, cat-like eyes held so much tenderness in them that it made him ache. Adron clenched his teeth as a wave of desire tore through him. He couldn't stand to see her, knowing she belonged to him, and yet he could never again have her. It was the cruelest blow of all.

  "Get out," he said, turning his head away from them.

  "Adron?"

  The sound of Livia's gentle voice washed over him like a gentle caress and it tore through him like glycerin on glass. She came forward and when he felt her touch on his arm...

  "Get away from me!" he snarled, pushing her away. He glared at his sister as his monitors blared.

  "Take her to a lawyer and get us divorced. Now!"

  Theo came running in with two nurses behind him. "Out!" he snapped at the women. "I told you not to upset him."

  Livia felt her tears swell at the sight of the doctor forcing Adron to lie down and the sound of Adron cursing them all.

  Her throat tight, she looked up at Zarina. "What did I do?"

  "It's not you," Zarina said, hugging her to her side as they left the room and headed down the hallway. "Adron is just blaming you for what Lia did."

  "Lia?"

  "His first wife."

  Livia stumbled. "He was married before?"

  She nodded. "Yes. And she was one serious bitch. Since she was the Wurish heiress, her father had negotiated a marriage between them when they were both twenty. Lia had only agreed because she wanted a trophy husband and as the youngest commissioned officer in League history and heir to my father's empire, Adron was a choice candidate for her.

  "But they never really got along. Three weeks after he'd been found, my mother, father and I were in his hospital room, trying to give him reasons to live. All of a sudden, she showed up with divorce papers. She handed them to him and told him that she was too young to be some guy's nursemaid."

  Livia was aghast. "How could she do such a thing?"

  "I have no idea, but if I live an eternity, I will never forget the look on Adron's face. But then, I personally think it's the best thing that could have happened to him. I just wish the ogress had had better timing." Zarina stopped and leveled a hard look on her. "So, are we going to a lawyer's office?"

  Livia bit her lip in indecision. Adron had been through so much that she wondered if he was still mentally sound. His physical scars she knew, it was the ones she couldn't see that scared her.

  She searched Zarina's eyes for the truth. "Tell me, is he psychotic or abusive?"

  "No. But he is angry and bitter. He was never the type of person to depend on anyone for anything. It humiliates him every time he has to ask for something."

  She could understand that. "Then, take me home."

  Zarina smiled. "I knew I liked you for a reason."

  ###

  Livia spent as much time as she could learning about Adron while she waited for him to come home.

  Zarina and his twin brothers, Taryn and Tiernan, were a fount of information. And that afternoon, they had provided her with a box full of disks for a holo-cube. Sitting alone in his viewing room, she pulled out a handful of disks and put them in. The first one was of Adron with a tall, dark-haired man. They appeared to be around the age of twenty. Adron's long blond hair was loose, spilling over his shoulders as the two of them played a board game. Goodness, but she barely recognized her handsome husband. His face intact, his eyes glowed like blue fire.

  "C'mon, Devyn, move."

  "Leave me alone, Adron, I'm thinking."

  "Yeah, I can see the smoke coming out of your ears from the strain of it."

  Devyn smirked at him.

  Before Devyn could do or say anything else, water poured down over the two of them.

  Adron held his hands out. "What the hell?"

  The men looked up to see a young, teenaged Zarina with a hose.

  "Oh, Rina," Adron said with a faked snarl. "You're going to die."

  Dropping the hose, Zarina shrieked and ran, but Adron caught up to her quickly.

  "Get her, Adron!" Livia recognized the voice as Tiernan's. He must have been the one filming them. "Make her pay!"

  Adron slung Zarina over his shoulder as he sprinted across the yard with her.

  "Put me down, you overgrown bully."

  "You got it," he said an instant before he flipped her into a pool.

  Zarina came up sputtering. "Oh, that's it! Taryn!"

  Taryn came running. Four years younger than Adron, Taryn was all gangly limbs. His dark brown hair was cut short and his eyes glowed with mischief. He grabbed Adron by the waist and the two of them fell into the pool. Adron broke the water's surface, laughing. Taryn grabbed him from behind and dunked him.

  "No!" Adron's mother, Kiara, shouted as she ran to the pool. Her eyes were wide with fright, and her beautiful face was stern. "No, playing like that! One of you could get hurt."

  "It's okay, Mom," Adron said.

  Kiara shook her head, causing her long mahogany braid to spill over her shoulder. "No, it's not. I couldn't live if I lost one of you. Now, get out of there and stop playing around."

  Subdued, the three of them climbed out of the pool. Subdued that was until Taryn snuck up behind Adron and pulled his shorts down. Livia gaped at the sight of Adron completely exposed.

  So, her husband had never worn underwear. She smiled at the knowledge. Cursing, Adron jerked his pants up and ran after his brother.

  "Adron!" Kiara shouted, but the laughter in her voice took the sternness out of her tone. "Don't you hurt him."

  "I'm not going to hurt him, I'm going to kill him."

  "Mom!" Taryn shouted. He came running back around and put their short mother between them.

  "Help."


  "Adron," she said sharply.

  Adron paused as he glared at his brother. "It's all right. You have to sleep sometime."

  Livia laughed at their loving play and as she watched more disks, she realized that Zarina had been right. Adron was a kind, fun-loving soul. Somehow, she was going to find that man and return him to the world.

  ###

  It was two weeks, and three more surgeries before Theo finally allowed Adron to leave the hospital. All he wanted to do was go home and be left alone. He didn't want to see any more pity on his mother's tear-streaked face. See the guilt in his father's eyes.

  He just wanted peace.

  His brother, Tiernan, moved to help him from the transport. Adron leveled a scowl that made him shrink back.

  "Jeez, you ought to bottle that look. I know armies who would pay a fortune to have something that toxic in their arsenal."

  Adron got out even though the strain of it made him sweat. "Why are you still here?"

  "Dad wanted me to make sure you got home safely."

  "I'm home, now leave."

  "Why would I want to do that? I mean, damn, heaven forbid I should be around someone who actually likes me."

  Ignoring him, Adron made his way to the lifts and did his best not to remember who had been with him the last time he'd crossed this lobby.

  Livia.

  Her name and face still haunted him. And in spite of himself, he wondered where she was. How she was doing.

  "I don't care."

  Tiernan stepped into the lift beside him. "What was that?"

  "Nothing."

  Adron didn't speak until he was back in his flat. He limped to the bar, and searched for something to drink. But there was nothing there.

  "Dammit, which one of you did this?" he snarled at Tiernan.

  "I did it."

  He froze at the sound of Livia's voice behind him. "What are you doing here?"

  "I live here."

  "The hell you do." He turned on his brother. "I want her out of here."

  Tiernan shrugged. "According to your own words, she's your wife."

  "Tiernan," he said in warning.

  "Adron," he shot back.

  Livia came forward and by all appearances, she didn't look a bit shaken by his anger. "Thank you for bringing him home, Tiernan. I think I can handle it from here."

  Tiernan arched a doubtful brow. "I don't know if I feel right leaving you at his mercy. He can let blood with that tongue."

  "I'm used to people insulting me." She directed a meaningful stare at Adron. "As well as being unwanted. I promise you, there's nothing Adron can say to make me cry."

  And in that moment, Adron felt low. He'd never wanted to hurt her. Turning away, he headed for

  the bedroom. Livia said good-bye to Tiernan, then followed after Adron. In spite of her brave words, she was terrified. But then, she was used to living in fear, too. At least Adron wouldn't beat her.

  He was lying on the bed with his arm over his eyes.

  "Are you hungry?"

  "No."

  "Well then-"

  "I want to be alone."

  "It seems to me you've spent far too much time alone."

  "Dammit, why are you still here? Why didn't you do what I told you to?"

  She took a deep breath and counted for patience. "Because I have nowhere else to go. My father has disowned me."

  "If it's a question of money-"

  "I don't want money," she said sternly.

  "Then what do you want?"

  "You."

  He removed his arm slowly and looked at her. "You must be deranged."

  "Why? Because I want to be with you?"

  "Yes."

  She moved to sit by the bed. "You know, while we were making love, I felt a connection with you. Did you feel it, too?"

  "No."

  "I don't believe you. You were too tender. You held me too close. I might be innocent, but I'm not stupid. I know men don't treat women that way."

  He gave her a droll stare. "And how do you know that?"

  "Zarina told me."

  He grimaced at her. "Oh, jeez. You discussed it with my baby sister?"

  "She was very informative."

  "I can imagine."

  "So, are we just going to sit in here all day?"

  "No, you're going to leave."

  "I'll leave when you do."

  He growled at her. "Do you have any idea how much pain I'm in? It hurts to breathe, so if you don't mind, I'd like to just lie here in silence."

  "Fine." She got up and pulled a small holo-cube out of his night stand. "I just wanted to show this to you."

  Adron frowned as she handed him the cube and turned it on. Static flickered until the image of a brunette woman and a small, blond girl appeared.

  "Hi, Commander," the woman said, holding the girl in her arms. "This is my daughter, Alycia. I don't know if you remember me or not, but I'm the woman you saved from Kyr and this is the daughter I had six weeks later. Say, hi, Alycia."

  "Hi, Commander." The little girl waved. "Thank you for saving my mommy and me."

  Livia watched the agony play across his face as the woman and child talked to him. Then, he snarled and threw the holo-cube against the wall, shattering it.

  "Adron!" she snapped, losing patience with him.

  He turned on her then with a vicious snarl. "What? Did you think showing me that would make all this okay? Did you think I'd look at them, then cry and say how grateful I am they are alive while I'm trapped like this? What of the children I wanted to have?" The bitter misery in his eyes scorched her. "Good God, Livia, I'm only twenty-nine years old and all I have to look forward to is a future where I will slowly, painfully disintegrate into an invalid."

  His words brought tears to her eyes. She had stupidly thought it would make him feel better.

  "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I was just trying to help. But you won't let anyone help you, will you?" She turned and ran from the room.

  Livia didn't stop until she reached the sitting room. She curled up into a ball on the couch and bit her lip to hold back the tears. She wouldn't cry. But inside, she ached for him. Ached for what he'd once been. Even now she could see him laughing and playing games with his sister and brothers. How she wished she had known him then.

  Suddenly, she felt a hand on her head. Looking up, she found Adron standing beside the couch. His brow was damp and she saw the whiteness of his lips as he struggled with his pain.

  "I'm sorry," he said, his voice tense. "I know you were just trying to help. But I passed the point of help a long time ago."

  He shifted and winced. "Look, I know about your people and customs, and I know you were raised inside a cage. The last thing you need is to be saddled with a man who can barely walk. Why don't you just go and get your own place and live? I'll be happy to put you on all my accounts. You'll never want for anything."

  It was a generous offer he made. But she couldn't accept it. "I can't do that."

  "Why not?"

  "Because I love you."

  Chapter 4

  Adron couldn't have been more stunned if she had reached up and slapped him.

  "How could you? You don't even know me."

  "Yes, I do. You try and hide what you are, but I see it. It shines through."

  He scowled at her. "And what is that?"

  "You have a good heart."

  "I have no heart at all. What I have is a mechanical substitute that pumps blood though a broken body."

  She rose from the couch.

  Adron flinched as she touched him. God, how he wanted to kiss her.

  She took him by the hand and led him into his viewing room. "Zarina said that it's painful at times for you to sit, so I thought I'd make a few modifications."

  He stared at the new sofa. It was twice the size of his old one and looked more like a small bed. She'd piled pillows up all over it. Adron sat down and leaned against the pillows, amazed at just how good it did feel.

  Until
Livia sat down next to him. His body reacted instantly to her nearness. "You're killing me," he whispered.

  "I don't want to kill you." She leaned forward and captured his lips with hers.

  Closing his eyes, he savored the taste of her. Over the last two weeks he'd done little except dream of her kiss. Dream of touching her again. She ran her hands over his body, making him burn even more.

  And when she touched his erection, he cursed. "Livia, stop. I can't make love to you."

  She smiled patiently at him. "That's okay. I'm making love to you."

  He frowned as she started unbuttoning his shirt.

  Adron opened his mouth to protest, but then she dipped her head to his neck. He hissed as her tongue gently laved his skin. And as she nibbled and licked his flesh, she unbuttoned his pants, slid her hand down, and took his swollen shaft into her hand. His head light, he couldn't speak while she caressed him. Couldn't move.

  Adron trembled as she blazed a scorching trail down his chest with her mouth. Slowly, carefully. Her touch blistered him and went so much deeper than his skin. It touched his soul. His eyes shuttered, he watched her while she licked and nibbled the flesh of his stomach, and when she took him into her mouth, he thought he'd die from the pleasure of it.

  Her dark hair was fanned out across his lap and he buried his hand in her soft curls. Adron ground his teeth as her tongue and mouth massaged him. She was relentless in her tasting.

  Never had he felt anything like it. Her actions were so selfless, so kind. Why would she care?

  Why would she do this for him?

  I love you.

  The words tore through him. No woman had ever said that to him before. Only her. And for his life, he couldn't understand what about him she could possibly find lovable. Or even desirable. The woman was insane. But she touched him on a level that defied explanation. A level he'd never known before. Throwing his head back against the pillows, Adron growled as he released himself into her mouth. Still, she didn't pull away. Not until he was completely weak and spent.

  He stared at her in awe. "I can't believe you did that for me."

  "I told you, Adron, I love you. I would do anything to make you happy."

  "Then, kiss me."

  She did.

  Livia moaned as he ran his hand under her shirt and gently squeezed her breast. Bracing her arms on each side of him, she carefully straddled him while making sure not to put any pressure on his chest or abdomen. His doctor's warnings had been explicit.

  Adron cupped her head with one hand while he reached around behind her with the other one and released her corslet.

  "I love the way you feel in my arms," he whispered against her lips. "I love the way you look when your cheeks are flushed and your eyes are bright."