For the Hunt

by Debbie Cassidy

  Not that it made a difference how much he ate; he never put on an extra ounce of fat. The guy was all muscle, with his hard jaw and shaved head and a face that was all planes and angles and brutal until he smiled, and then he was fucking stunning.

  Entering Faerie had allowed Sage to reconnect with his own form. The djinn and fey realms ran on similar frequencies, so this hunk of a man standing before me was Sage, in the flesh, and oh, God, did that flesh feel good when it was naked up against mine. And it tasted even better when I had him in my mouth.

  I licked my lips, and his fiery eyes flared. “You dirty girl,” he rumbled.

  Ash snorted and signed, “Hands off, she’s mine tonight.”

  “Am I?” I arched a brow. Ash’s gaze was intensity itself and my stomach flipped. “I guess I am.”

  The guys piled their tools on a table by the entrance and then wandered inside to order food. Logan continued to hammer.

  God, why couldn’t he be as forgiving as the others? Oh, yeah, because it was Logan. With a sigh, I teleported to the roof.

  He flinched when I materialized, the hammer slipped, and he grunted in pain. Blood bloomed on his thumb. Shit. My fault. I grabbed his hand and closed my mouth around the wound.

  He sucked in a breath as I looked up into his warm brown eyes, my tongue circling the wound and lapping up the coppery tang of his blood. His eyes darkened, and his jaw tensed.

  “Fuck, Eva, how the hell am I supposed to stay pissed at you when you look at me like that, when you suck on me like that.” He grabbed my braid and pulled my head back, and when I lost the latch on his thumb, he slid it down to my chin, pulling my bottom lip down and kissing me, tongue in mouth, deep and hungry.

  He pulled away and whispered, “Stop fucking the Vladul,” before kissing me again. “We miss you.” And again. “We need you.” He licked the roof of my mouth, and a moan spilled from my lips as I melted into him. “I need you. Forget the Hunt.”

  My body rippled with tension at his words and the passion ebbed. I jerked my mouth away from his.

  “No.”

  “No?” His eyes narrowed. “You belong with us, Eva.”

  My body said this was true, but my soul resisted. My soul was woven from the Hunt, it was the Hunt. I was the Hunt.

  “You hate them, don’t you?” How had I not seen this?

  He made a sound of exasperation. “You sound like her.”

  “Like who?”

  “Like the god. You sound like the god, not my Eva. You sound like the Hunt.”

  His words were like a needle digging into my flesh. “I am the Hunt, and if you hate the Hunt, then you hate me.”

  He flinched as if I’d struck him.

  But was I? The Hunt didn’t seem to think so. They thought I wasn’t committed, that I was too much the old Eva, and now this…This accusation that I was too much Hunt.

  Logan shook his head, his mouth turning down. “I don’t know you anymore.”

  In the old life, before I’d been remade, the indignation that coursed through me would have brought tears to my eyes, but I was dry-eyed and stony-faced. “You knew what I was and what I’d become before you came here. I never lied to you or forced you to come with me. I tried to leave without all of you, remember? You insisted on coming. You told me that you loved me no matter what.” My voice would have cracked here, my vision would have blurred, but now there was nothing but the sharp edge of clarity. “You promised that you would ground me. I guess you were wrong.”

  I took a step back.

  His expression softened and he reached for me, but I was done with his accusations. I winked out and appeared in the tavern.

  I needed Ash and Sage. I needed Jace’s acceptance, but the world was a silent gasp, a trapped breath waiting to explode in an exhalation. Faces stared at me with suspicion, wariness, and fear.

  They feared me. It was a bitter taste on my tongue, a pungent aroma in the air.

  These people feared me.

  I was alien and different. I was death, and I had no place here amongst the living.

  Sage frowned and reached for me. “Eva.”

  But I didn’t have the heart to pretend anymore.

  I needed to be anywhere but here. His beautiful eyes softened in comprehension as I melted away.

  Chapter Two

  The mansion was achingly empty as I made my way to the kitchen on autopilot. It was my go-to cozy place, the place where we congregated to eat and talk and just be normal even though I no longer needed food. The guys seemed to like when I joined them for meals. They’d return soon. No doubt Jace and Sage would have had some choice words for Logan, who would be contrite. They’d come back here and tell me they loved me. They’d convince me that it was all right, that these were merely teething problems. That we’d work through it, and my gut would tremble, warning me it was a lie, a false hope, but I’d smile and cling to it anyway, ignoring the fact that there was no working through this.

  I was fighting a losing battle, with the Hunt, with the guys. The Hunt resented the guys, and the feeling was mutual. Logan was the only one bold enough to say it.

  What happened to the woman who’d made decisions based on logic and facts? The woman who’d done what it took to survive? Where was she now? Oh, yes, she was dead, and now I was torn between loving them and bonding with the Hunt. I was in limbo. I was in between, I—

  “Need to make a decision,” Caister said from the doorway.

  “Piss off, Caister. I didn’t ask for your advice.”

  “No, but you’re broadcasting your disconcertion like a blowhorn.”

  I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, in and out. “Better?”

  He smiled thinly. “You can’t run away from us.”

  “I don’t want to.” The words were sincere and completely involuntary. I pressed my lips together.

  He stared at me, stunned. “That’s…good to hear.” He inclined his head. “Now maybe when you accept that’s what you want, you’ll have the answers you need.”

  He vanished in a swirl of green smoke, and I slumped into the nearest seat.

  I felt her presence before she spoke but kept my head down. I didn’t need another lecture.

  “Can I say something?” Dia asked.

  “Can I stop you?”

  There was a smile in Dia’s voice. “You’re trying too hard.”

  I looked up sharply. “Excuse me?”

  “You’re trying too hard to fit.”

  I canted my head. “Fit?” What the fuck was she talking about.

  “You want to make the men you love happy, and you want to gain the Hunt’s trust, but you can’t do either until you find yourself. You’re a god now, Eva. That is a fact. You will feel and think differently whether you want to or not. You will experience the world through clarity, not emotion. You will see the bigger picture. You are changed. You’re not Cernunnos, and you are no longer the mortal Eva that your men fell in love with.”

  My stomach twisted. “What are you saying?”

  “The core of you is altered. You need to find that core, because that is who you are now. You need to find it and you need to allow them the chance to love you as you are now. You need to stop trying to be the old Eva, and you need to stop trying to take Cernunnos’s place. You need to be you.” She shrugged. “The Hunt needs you. It will accept you, but only when you can accept yourself.”

  “I can’t risk losing myself to the Hunt completely. I don’t want to forget the guys. I don’t want to lose them.”

  “Then don’t.”

  “But Caister said I would. Cernunnos said I would. They said I would become the Hunt and nothing else would matter.”

  “And have you?”

  No. I hadn’t. I cared too damn much. “The guys tether me.”

  Her smile was wry. “Do they?”

  Right now, there was nothing but confusion. There was nothing but a pull and tug from opposite directions.

  “You’re not Caister, and you’re most certainly n
ot Cernunnos. You are you. You just need to find out who that is.” She rubbed her arms through the material of her shirt, and something dark crossed her features. “Please, don’t leave it too long.”

  Unease crawled up my spine. “Why? What is it? What aren’t you telling me?”

  Dia glanced over her shoulder warily. “Can’t you feel it?” Her voice dropped. “The taint in every reap. The darkness, the wrongness. I fear it’s affecting the others. The power we reap feels corrupted. The last hunt made me feel sick, but hunting isn’t something we can ignore. Blowing the horn isn’t something you can ignore.”

  I sat up straighter. “Why hasn’t anyone said something? Why didn’t Caister tell me?”

  Her throat bobbed. “Caister doesn’t trust easily, he doesn’t hand over control easily. He thinks he can deal with it, but the Hunt needs its master. We need you.”

  She was right. I’d felt the wrongness of the Hunt, the darkness in the power that was left behind. “The deaths are senseless.”

  “Yes.” Dia stepped into the room. “Too many deaths for Faerie.”

  “I sent a letter to Alaron, but he hasn’t replied.” I pushed myself up from my chair. “I think it’s time I went to see him.”

  She blinked in surprise, rubbing at her arm again. “You would do that for us?”

  “Of course I will.”

  “Eva?” Jace’s voice drifted down the corridor toward the kitchen.

  Dia smiled and vanished.

  Jace entered the room a moment later. “He’s a dick, and he’s sorry.”

  “And so he sends you to apologize?”

  Jace popped a wrapped bundle onto the table. “From Heather, the tavern owner.”

  The smell of fresh bread rose out of the fabric binding the plate, but it had no effect on me.

  “Jace, I don’t need to eat. I don’t need to drink.”

  He sighed and pulled out a seat. “It might make you feel better.”

  “No, Jace, what would make me feel better is if people stopped looking at me as if I were about to smite them.”

  He smiled. “You are the leader of the Hunt and they’re simple village folk.”

  “And you? What are you?”

  My tone was colder than intended, but he didn’t balk.

  “I’m a Fang who loves you no matter who you choose to be.”

  His words hit home as he reached out to take my hand in both of his. “I haven’t said anything, but Dia is right.”

  “You heard that?”

  He gave me a sheepish smile. “We love you, the core of you, the heart of you, and I think once you accept your godhood, once you accept the change, then everything will click into place.”

  “And what if I do lose myself? What if I become the Hunt completely?”

  “Then we’ll love the Hunt because it’s a part of you.”

  “Can you see Logan loving the Hunt?”

  Jace grinned. “It would be a sight to behold.” He raised both brows. “Wait, maybe we should have a get-together. All of us.”

  “You guys and the Hunt in the same room?”

  He shrugged. “Why not. We’re living together and really should get to know one another. They’re a huge part of you now. We should learn to get along.”

  The idea was good in theory but would probably end in disaster. Still, it was worth a try. “Fine. Tonight, then tomorrow I need to pay the winter king a visit.”

  I should have gone to see him personally a week ago instead of sending a letter. But teleporting into his keep without an invite felt wrong. Now the situation was getting dire, so he’d just have to deal with the intrusion.

  “I’ll let the guys know,” Jace said.

  “I’ll inform the Hunt.”

  We stood at the same time, leaving us almost chest to chest. His blond hair had grown since he’d moved here, long enough to brush back, thick and golden and tempting to touch. I reached up now and ran my fingers through the silken locks.

  “You are so beautiful.” I cupped the back of his neck and ran my thumb over his velvet skin.

  His sky-blue eyes scanned my face and then he leaned in slowly, his breath fanning across my lips. He was going to kiss me, and my heart was suddenly pounding way too hard against my ribs. We hadn’t been alone like this, touched like this, for weeks. The tension between us crackled as he brushed his lips to mine with a soft moan.

  “Maybe they’re in the kitchen,” Sage said, stepping into the room.

  Jace froze and then pulled back.

  Sage held up his hands, wincing. “Sorry.” He made to back out.

  But the moment was shattered. Jace ducked his head. “It’s fine.”

  Was that a flash of irritation on his face? I wanted to grab the back of his neck and finish the kiss we hadn’t even started, but that wouldn’t work with Jace. He was different from the others in so many little ways, and I was aching to discover more about him. To peel back the layers and find him there.

  “I’ll arrange it,” Jace said to me.

  Okay, business then. I nodded. “I’ll tell Caister.”

  “Arrange what?” Sage asked.

  But I was already shifting out of the kitchen, and only when I was in the process of teleporting did it hit me—I had no idea where to find the Hunt.

  I wandered the halls of the east wing, the part of the mansion that had an unkempt, unused look to it, because damn if my gut didn’t tell me they were close. Old stained mirrors decorated the peeling plaster walls, threadbare rugs muffled the clip of boots, and shadowy corners watched my intrusion. I was peering up a cobwebbed staircase when Caister appeared at the top.

  He leaned against the ornate wood banister and looked imperiously down his nose at me. “What do you want, Eva?”

  “Where are they?”

  He arched a brow, his stony face giving away nothing. “Why do you care?”

  “Because they’re mine.” The words were possessive and filled with passion. I bit the insides of my cheeks. “I need to speak with them, with you all.”

  “You can tell me what you want to say, and I’ll relay it.”

  His gaze slid over my head, and my scalp prickled as awareness skittered across my skin. My lips curved in a smile. They were here, just as he was here—the only difference was I couldn’t see them. A piece of the puzzle clicked into place, and with it, revelation unfurled in my mind.

  I had the Hunt.

  I always had them; they couldn’t help but belong to me, just like I couldn’t help but blow the horn when there was a death to reap, but they could control whether they gave themselves to me or not. They could control if they showed themselves.

  Caister’s eyes narrowed. “What do you want, Eva?”

  “What do you want, Master,” I corrected. “Say it.”

  “No.”

  I climbed the steps, coming to a standstill in front of him. “I’m your master. I hold the horn, and you belong to me. Say it.”

  His green eyes heated and the tip of his tongue touched his top teeth. “You want me.”

  Oh…Oh, man, he wanted me. It was in the flare of heat across his cheekbones. It was in the tension that thrummed between us. He wanted me, and he fucking hated it.

  If his words had held a double meaning, my next ones most definitely did. “You belong to me, and I need you to give yourself to me.”

  His soft exhalation kissed my cheeks, and then his lips curved in a half-smile. “My master would take what she wanted, she wouldn’t wait to be offered anything.”

  Ha, yes, that was not happening. No way was I giving him the excuse he needed to get what he wanted.

  “Trust me, Caister, if I want something bad enough, I take it.”

  His smile dropped and his eyes narrowed to slits.

  “Be in the dining room at eight p.m. sharp. I’ve arranged a gathering.”

  He leaned in, his voice a purr. “And if we don’t come?”

  “You’ll come, Caister. You’ll come because I demand it.” I turned to look down th
e stairs. “I may not be able to see you, but you’ll be there too. Whether you enjoy your time with me is up to you.” I shrugged and then sighed. “I’m trying.”

  The air to the left of the stairs shimmered and then Dia materialized. She bowed her head. “As you command.”

  Caister’s jaw clenched. “Dia.”

  She ignored him and kept her gaze on me. I smiled down at her, triumph blooming in my chest.

  Yes, this was a good start.

  Ash was in my bedchamber when I returned. He’d just finished changing the sheets and turned to me with an inquisitive expression, which was hard to focus on considering he was bare-chested.

  “I’m sorry about earlier.” I flopped down in the dresser chair. “I probably should have stayed. The villagers need to get used to me. I need to get used to me.”

  He padded over and crouched in front of me. My hands immediately found their way to his shoulders, caressing the velvet skin that stretched over his powerful muscles. God, he was beautiful. My silent knight. I leaned down so our foreheads touched.

  “I’ve missed you.”

  He lifted his chin in response, breaking forehead contact to make mouth contact. His lips were tentative as they explored mine, and my body immediately began to relax.

  Being with Ash was like a physical and mental release. He could drain my tension with a look, with a touch, and right now he scooped me into his arms and carried me to the bathroom. Steam enveloped us.

  He’d run a bath.

  I arched a brow at him. “Care to join me?”

  This was an awful start. The Hunt stood to one side of the large dining room, the guys stood on the other, and me? I was parked at the head of the long table in the middle.

  If someone were posing a visual representation of my life, they couldn’t have done a better job. Jace caught my eye and nodded. He’d made an effort tonight. Clean shirt, slacks not jeans—fae-made clothes. He nudged Ash, and they both walked across the dining room to the other side. Dia turned to face them, but Caister remained against the wall, watching the proceedings with interest. There was food laid out, but the Hunt, like me, didn’t eat. Only Dia had made a concession by taking a goblet of wine.