Stoker's Serenity: The Virtues Book IV

by A. J. Downey

There was never a time I didn’t want her. Even now, with as hurt as she was, she was painfully beautiful to me. I wanted to kiss away her tears, love her until there was no more pain and only the good remained. Logically, I knew the sentiment was trash, that it didn’t work that way; but it was still what I wanted to do – the urge so strong it drew me back to my feet from the edge of her bed, like I was a damn puppet on a string, when the shower’s water cut off.

  I reached out to take her hands in mine and help her step over the low lip of her shower. I wrapped her carefully in one of her big towels and ran my hands gently and carefully over the rough material to soak up the water beading on her skin. I leaned down and kissed her gently, carefully. I didn’t want to aggravate anything.

  She swooned into me slightly, and I backed off with an overabundance of caution and sighed with light frustration.

  “What is it?” she asked, and I guided her hand to the front of my jeans. She laughed, blushing slightly and said, “Oh.”

  “Come on, baby. Let’s get you into bed,” I whispered, guiding her gently to her bed, lifting the blankets. She ditched her towel, unclipped her long hair from where she had it messily piled atop her head. The artless tumble it made against her smooth skin, the sweeping gentle line of her back was so beautiful, so sexy, and I wanted so badly to do something about it, but there was just no way right now.

  She got beneath the covers and I tucked her in gently. Straightening, she looked up at me with wide, startled dark eyes.

  “You’re not coming to bed?”

  I smiled tenderly and murmured, “Not yet, I got a couple calls to make.”

  “At this hour?”

  “Won’t take me but a couple of seconds. I’ll be right out on the porch.” She pouted beautifully and I admonished her playfully, “Stop that. Get some sleep. I’ll be in in a minute.”

  “Okay,” she sighed, disappointed, and it tore at me a little. Still, I needed to check in and see what was what with Radar.

  I went out onto the porch and wished for a cigarette. I’d quit a long-ass time ago, but right then, a cancer stick would have been real nice. I dialed up Radar and he answered on the first ring.

  “Was wondering when I would hear from you,” he said.

  I grunted. “Just got Serenity laid down to sleep.”

  “How’s she doing?”

  “Sore, but I’m pretty sure that’s just the beginning. Tomorrow’s guaranteed to be worse.”

  “Maybe not,” he said. “Sometimes the day after is the worst, sometimes the day after that is. Just whatever you do, don’t baby her too much. Make sure she gets up and does some moving around.”

  “Sounds like you’re talking from experience.”

  “I am,” he said with a sigh. “Marisol got into a bad wreck back when we were together.”

  “Ouch, sorry, dude. Didn’t mean to bring up bad memories.”

  “It’s nothing to get bent out of shape about. My time with Marisol was shit, but I got the best thing I could have asked for out of it with my kids.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed. Radar’s kids were his fucking everything. He lived for them first, before anything, even the club.

  “So, back to the main event and the real reason you were calling.”

  “Yeah.” I perked up a bit. “You got something already?”

  “The fuck you think I’ve been doing?” he asked. “Jerkin’ off over here?”

  I laughed a little. “Never know. Lay it on me.”

  “Okay, sugar – here it is. Dude’s name is Gordon Humphries, he lives outside Sunrise, and is one of those early retiree types. He might be a problem in that he’s former military, but I don’t think so. We’re talking like Desert Storm and he wasn’t brand new for it, either. He’d been in a while.”

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Yeah. He was at the same hospital as your girl, but got released before her. The airbag knocked him out, his face is burnt a little from the chemicals and he had a fractured nose, but no other injuries that they know of.”

  “He’s gonna, by the time I get through with him,” I said.

  “True that. I think the captain wants to send a wrecking crew with you. Definitely no handling this one solo.”

  “I hadn’t planned on it, and as much as I want to head down there now? Nah, I want to make sure she’s taken care of first. Get her moved, slow-walk this revenge story a little bit. I don’t want anything going sideways for my little orchid.”

  “Good, glad you’re not trying to take it all hot and heavy right from the get-go.”

  “That’s how you get caught. This type of revenge? Best served ice cold.”

  Radar chuckled. “You’re learning. Enough about that asshole, though. You best go in and take care of your ol’ lady. We can worry about him after she’s moved and the citations and charges, or whatever she’s got, are all handled.”

  “Right,” I agreed, clenching my teeth. I was pissed about the citation but that was law enforcement for you. They didn’t care about right or wrong, and it was a goddamned lie anytime one of those pigs said they dealt out justice. They didn’t know the meaning of the fuckin’ word. Shit, they were just all about the fuckin’ revenue for the local government. Fuck us little guys.

  “Hey, Radar?” I asked.

  “Yeah?”

  “They cite him?” I asked.

  He sighed. “Motherfuckin’ cherry on top of this shit sundae… no, they did not.”

  “Of course not,” I snorted in disgust. “If anything, they were probably disappointed he didn’t turn my ass into a greasy smear on the highway.”

  “Probably, but hey, your ol’ lady didn’t let that happen. A fact that the rest of us are real grateful for. She’s somethin’ else, man. You better hang onto a woman like that.”

  “That’s the plan,” I told him. “Forever and fuckin’ always.”

  “Good deal. Now go snuggle her, since you can.”

  “Too close for comfort,” I agreed. “Scared the fucking shit right out of me.”

  “I bet, dude. G’night.”

  “Night, bro.”

  Yeah, I thought as I pocketed my phone, a cigarette would be real good about now.

  30

  Serenity…

  I couldn’t go to work for a while, I was moving so slowly. Instead I turned my focus on packing. Stoker stayed with me and helped with all the heavy lifting. I was mostly relegated to wrapping fragile items, and telling him what went where, and pouting that I couldn’t have him without hurting myself further. He was incredibly beautiful, graceful, and I missed his hands on my skin.

  When he did touch me, the touch was light and careful, as if I had somehow become like the thinnest glass, incredibly fragile. It made me simultaneously crazy and love him more, to the depths of my soul, the bottom of my heart. The fear was a real and palpable thing, especially with how uncharacteristically quiet he was about the accident, about the man who had been after him specifically.

  I worried, my Spidey senses tingling, that something wasn’t right – his silence was speaking louder than words. In retrospect, Kyle had been much the same in the weeks and days leading up to his revenge plot at Rachel Alice Morgan. It all finally came to a head during the rainstorm that kept us indoors in my too-cramped little apartment, what with all the boxes taking up every available surface.

  “What are you planning to do to him?” I demanded suddenly, looking up from the books in my hands to meet Stoker’s cool and appraising look from across the room where he was building more boxes.

  He didn’t try to bullshit me, which I was grateful for, but I still didn’t like what he said, “That’s not for you to know, Orchid.”

  I scoffed, “Are you serious?”

  “As a heart attack,” he said, setting down the tape gun on my bed and coming around to sit on its edge closer to me.

  “Why? It happened to me,” I hazarded, even though that wasn’t quite fair. It’d happened to the both of us.

  He sighed and swore softly
before he looked back up at me. I waited, and he said, “I was hoping it’d be longer than this before you ran into the cone of silence around ‘club business.’”

  “How is it club business?” I asked, a trickle of fear working its way in a cold shiver down my back.

  “You’re mine, baby. He almost took that away.”

  I swallowed hard and stared unflinchingly, wide-eyed at him and asked, a waver in my voice, “You aren’t going to hurt his family, are you?”

  “No. We don’t hurt innocent people. At least, we try not to. Things can…” He cleared his throat. “Things can sometimes happen, but they haven’t. Not for a long, long time.”

  “How long?”

  “Mostly long before my time,” he said. “Can’t really talk about the rest.”

  “Club business,” I said.

  “Club business,” he agreed.

  I fell silent and he watched me as I quietly packed, turning things over and over in my mind.

  He sighed finally, and came over to me, getting down on the floor behind me and easing up to me, his chest to my back, his arms going around me and holding me against his chest, his denim-clad legs to either side of mine.

  “I don’t want you to fret,” he murmured.

  “Kind of hard,” I whispered. “I don’t want anyone else to get hurt because of me.”

  He tightened his hold around my body and I was weak, I admit. I cuddled back into him and took the comfort and shelter he provided.

  “Nobody got hurt because of you, baby. You can’t take that on…” he murmured.

  “Kyle never would ha –”

  “Hush, now. Kyle never would have what? Shot up those kids if it hadn’t been for the way those kids treated both you and him. You aren’t to blame for any of that, that was on him. All on him. And yeah, ‘kids will be kids’ or whatever, but a lot of it is on the ones who were being little assholes to begin with. Karma has a funny way of workin’, and this is no different. The Kraken’s been an instrument of Karma’s hand a few times now, and we been on the receiving end plenty, too.”

  “I don’t want you guys to do anything,” I said, my voice cracking. A bottomless well of emotion had opened up beneath me and was trying to swallow me whole.

  “It’s out of your hands, baby. Out of mine, too. That dude trespassed against us.”

  “Aren’t we meant to forgive those who trespass against us, though?”

  “Our world doesn’t work that way, babe. Our world is much more stripped-down. Much simpler than that. In our world, it’s blood for blood, an eye for an eye. He hurt you, I won’t let that slide.”

  “But –”

  “No buts,” he said, and I pulled away from him.

  “I don’t want this,” I said desperately.

  He sighed and we faced each other; he searched my face and I searched his.

  “A bargain,” he said, “and you can never let the rest of the club even know we talked about this.”

  “I’m listening,” I said, hopeful.

  “No harm comes his way – at least not physically. Property damage is another story.”

  “His truck is already destroyed. Isn’t that enough?”

  “No.” His tone brooked no argument.

  We stared each other down and I shook my head finally. “I don’t know if I can go through with this… moving in… how am I not making a horrible mistake?” I asked.

  He sighed out and stared at the ceiling for several seconds, finally saying without looking at me, “I love you. Try looking at this from my side of things for just a second.” He dropped his eyes to mine, meeting my gaze unflinching. “That dude, whatever his malfunction is, hurt you. Could have easily killed you, and if that hasn’t earned some sort of retribution, I don’t know what has.”

  “Only because I got in his way,” I murmured.

  He nodded. “To protect me, I know… now it’s my turn to protect you back. People need to stop fucking with you. People need to know that you’re off fucking limits and you need to get out of your own way and stand up for yourself.” He came to me, his voice harsh and passionate, but not yelling. He cupped my face between his hands and, his eyes inches from mine, said, “You need to let me do this. Not just for you, but for me, and if you’d like, for anyone else he might think he could get away with doing something similar, or worse, to, because if you don’t let me do anything, that’s how this is gonna go. He’s going to get the impression he’s untouchable and if that happens? What happens to the next guy?”

  “That’s what the police are for…” I breathed but I was losing this disagreement. He was right.

  “What did the authorities do for you?” he asked. “What did your teachers, the principal, the school resource officer – what did any of them do for you?” he asked.

  Fuck. He had me there… Because he knew, they hadn’t done anything, which is what had prompted Kyle to do what he did. The frustration, the anger, all of it misplaced into a driving need for retribution, and here I was all over again.

  I felt my eyes well up, the sight of him, beautiful and earnest, blurring with the tears.

  “I feel like such a curse right now,” I told him, my voice breaking.

  “You’re no curse, baby. You’re the greatest blessing ever bestowed on the likes of me. Now will you let me take care of you?”

  I sniffed, unhappy, but deciding that I loved him, and this too would pass, and it would pass in a way that I honestly would never know.

  “I mean, I want to be mad at him, too, but I don’t know why he did what he did. How do we know he wasn’t just having a bad day, or that he wasn’t hurting too for a different reason?”

  He sighed pulling me against his chest and holding me firmly against him saying, “You’re pure goodness, woman.”

  “I’m not. I mean, I’m angry too and part of me wants you to do it, but I know in my heart and in my head that man is just not worth it. That he should just be left to his own misery, to rot in it.”

  “You have a point there, too,” he said. “At any rate, ain’t nothing going to be done right now, right this minute. What does need to be done is this place needs packed up and you need to come home… that is if you still want that?”

  I looked up at him.

  “I do want that. I want that more than anything.”

  He brought his lips to mine and kissed me, and while it was gentle, it wasn’t as careful as he’d been.

  I admit it freely, I practically fell into his arms. Willingly, enthusiastically, forgetting our near-quarrel of just a moment before in favor of turning my attentions towards getting us both out of our clothes.

  I was desperate for his touch, for his lips on my skin, so desperate for us to be close, a sort of way to heal this rift I feared was going to be very real between us. I mean, could I accept it all? Things seemed so wonderful on the surface, things were wonderful for me, but could I deal with it being so at the expense of others?

  “Stop, slow down,” he growled as I put my hands against his ribs to pull him near, his skin warm, heated with love and lust beneath my hands.

  “What is it?” I gasped.

  He tipped my chin with his fingers and captured my gaze with his own.

  “It’s as simple as this, Little Orchid, if nobody hurts you there’s no reason to hurt them.” I blinked and felt myself lean back and he said, “You aren’t a kid anymore. It really is as simple as that.”

  My mind was caught in a maelstrom of imagined consequences and I realized, much to my own startlement that there wasn’t anything they could do to me. I was safe. There wasn’t any shunning, or consequence I didn’t already know the pain of and I knew so much pain. Pain and I were old friends. Pain, darkness, the familiarity of sadness and fear… were they holding me back?

  “Your mind is going a mile a minute,” he murmured. “I see it just behind your eyes.”

  “Make it stop,” I whispered. “I don’t want to think about it anymore. I don’t want to feel this anxiety, this fear…�
�

  “Hey,” he murmured in a whispered hush, tracing some of my long hair out of my face, the touch of his middle fingertip against my skin a soothing thing, sending a rush of tingling effervescence across my skin, along the side of my neck, over my shoulder. “There’s no bad here, baby. There’s just you and me. The road ahead. Better days. It’s time to work on leaving all that bad behind.”

  “I want that,” I said breathless.

  “Good, because I’m here for it. I’m here for you. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Our mouths came together again but my misgivings had fallen away. I really couldn’t believe it was so simple, so easy, but then again I should have believed it to be so. Stoker, the rest of the men of the Kraken, they just didn’t care. Didn’t care about the false polite constructs of society. Their worldview was something much simpler. Much more black and white.

  They hurt you, you hurt them. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

  I cried out when he stripped my shirt over my head and let it fall to the side, his mouth traveling over my skin, across my chest, between my naked breasts. I hadn’t bothered with a bra or panties, just throwing on a tee and a skirt since it was to be just him and me today.

  He skimmed his hands up my legs, my back screaming as I planted my shoulders and head against the floor and arched my hips wantonly, momentarily forgetting my hurt.

  “You okay?” he asked between kisses, his hands smoothing back up the outsides of my thighs, pushing my skirt out of the way.

  “Yeah,” I gasped, breathy, as he swept his tongue across my sex, teasing my clit, suckling at me gently and driving me wild.

  He gripped my ass, cradling me against his mouth, pulling me against his tongue as he darted it in and out of my body, teasing me unmercifully. I encouraged him, fists wrapped in the material of my skirt, holding it up, out of his way, as he made love to me with his mouth.

  I gave myself over to his touch, his mouth, his wicked ways completely. I let the fire of his passion consume me and not for the first time I felt strangely blessed that he was the devil I knew.

  31