Out of the Dark

by Sundae Leighton

  Madison’s eyes darkened. “Because she’s here with Knox?” She pursed her lips as jealousy ripped through my veins. “Baby—”

  “You should check up on Hazel. Tell her I love her,” I reminded her. I wanted to tell her to leave and not come back, but I bit my tongue. I slid my eyes to hers. “I’ll be fine.”

  Madison nodded, dropped another kiss against my cheek, and as I leaned back into my seat, I saw Knox leading Jillian out onto the dancefloor. Fuck my life, could this night get worse? I cursed myself for thinking that because Kenny Chesney’s “You and Tequila” began playing. Fuck. There was no way I was letting Knox Carson dance with my girl now. Wait, she wasn’t my girl anymore. Had Jillian ever really been mine in the first place?

  Before I even realized what I was doing, I was out of my seat, striding across the room, and tapped Knox on the shoulder, probably a little harder than I needed to. “I’m cutting in,” I growled. “Don’t fight me.”

  Knox glanced down at her. “Are you okay with that?” he asked.

  “This is our song, Jilly.”

  Her green eyes flew up to mine to give me a quick nod as Knox moved away to let me step in. As I wrapped my arms around Jillian’s small body, I felt her tremble against me. She smelled perfect. Sweet and feminine, with a touch of perfection like always. Her skin was warm under my fingers as I gripped her arms, but I didn’t like how thin she had become. We didn’t speak, only swayed to the music, and I couldn’t resist whispering the lyrics against her ear.

  “When it comes to you, oh, the damage I could do.”

  Jillian stiffened against me before she pulled back to look up at me. “Don’t do that,” she pleaded.

  I ran the back of my hand over her cheek. “What’s wrong, Jilly, afraid you might finally tell me the truth this time?” I teased. She struggled against me, causing me to hold her tighter.

  “This isn’t the time or place.”

  “Then when?” Jillian’s face had drained of blood when I finally looked down at her. “You and tequila,” I reminded her, daring to lift a hand to tuck a loose piece of hair behind her ear. “I told you my deepest, darkest secret, Jillybean, and you can’t even tell me why you broke my heart. Doesn’t seem like a fair trade to me.”

  She sank her teeth into her bottom lip. “Hutch, I—”

  “Don’t you dare tell me you can’t, Jillian, because I swear to God, I will tear this place apart if I hear those words come out of your mouth again. It nearly broke me when you left. You ignored all my calls, my texts, and I thought it was me you running from.” I snarled. “You know what? I give up.” I released her from my arms. “I realize now that you couldn’t have possibly cared about me the way I did for you. I’m done.” I took a step back, after declaring my final admission.

  “Wait.”

  I shook my head. “No, you fucking wait.” I pointed my index finger at her, horrified to see that it was shaking. “I know you’re mad that I’m involved with your arch nemesis now.” That sounded ridiculous coming out of my mouth. “But we’re all adults here. In case you forgot, you left me first. You dropped out of my life without explanation or reason, after you told me you loved me, by the way. After you told me you couldn’t imagine not being together. That is fucked up. I’m sorry you can’t deal with that, but I. Am. Done.” I turned to storm off the dance floor, knowing Patrick and Jo were probably horrified right now.

  When Knox tried to stop me, I shoved him. “Fuck off, man, this has nothing to do with you. She’s all yours now. Have at it.” I noticed Madison standing by the door and wondered just how much she had witnessed. “I’m not talking about this with you,” I warned her when I shoved the door, only to have her follow me outside.

  “Hutch, what was that about?” Madison was struggling to keep up with me on with the heels she had on even though I had warned her not to wear them.

  I gritted my teeth. “Did I not just say I was not going to talk about this?” I glanced over my shoulder at her.

  “You were dancing with Jillian?” she pushed.

  “Mads.” I stopped to stare at her.

  “No, you don’t get to just blow that off. We’re together, Hutch. I don’t care if she was your first love or whatever the fuck Jill means to you. We’re a family now. You can’t just drop that because she blows back into your life.” Madison planted her hands on her slim hips. Her blue eyes were furious as she glared at me.

  “Do not say another word about Jillian. Do you hear me?” My voice was cold when I spoke. “I need to be alone.” I started walking again. I thought for sure that Madison would follow me, but when she didn’t, I let out a sigh of relief. I had no clue where I was going; only that I needed to think.

  ***

  I walked around for what felt like hours before I finally went back to my apartment over my parents’ garage. I went there sometimes when I needed to be alone and just think. I considered going to Jillian’s, but what good would that do? She was never going to tell me the truth. She was never going to tell me why she left me and broke my heart. I sighed as I climbed the stairs with heavy legs. That morning was still fresh in my mind. The crushing blow that I never saw coming.

  I felt a smile spread over my face as I thought about my last night and reached for Jillian, only to find the spot where she should be on the bed, empty. I sat up.

  “Jills?” My voice echoed off the walls as I flung the blankets back from my legs. The apartment was eerily silent. “Jillian?” I sprang from the bed, grabbed a clean pair of boxers from the dresser, and rushed to the bathroom hoping she was there.

  Nothing.

  My entire apartment was empty except for me. Her bag was gone. The drawer Jillian had been using to store her clothes? Empty. My heart cracked, and I dropped to the floor by the bed. What the fuck was going on? I felt sick, as bile filled my throat, and pressed my forehead against the cool floor.

  Jillian had left. She had left without saying goodbye after she told me she loved me. Why would she do that unless...no. I shook my head. She told me she wanted to be with me and wanted to make things work.

  I slammed my fist against the hardwood to feel the pain race through my muscles and then jumped to my feet. I grabbed my phone from the charger.

  Hutch: Where are you?

  Hutch: Jills, what the fuck is going on?

  Hutch: You’re scaring me.

  My texts went unanswered that day or any other time I tried to reach out to her. Any calls I made were sent straight to voicemail. When I finally went to Patrick the next day, who then brought Jo over, they had no idea Jillian left me the way she did. She had told them she left a day early because she wanted to get settled. Get more comfortable with her roommate and life at school. They were as clueless as I was.

  Jillian had lied to them too.

  I had removed her number from my phone after a year of trying to reach out to her, but that was only after I ended up in the hospital. I stopped asking Jo about her and tried to move on with my life. That was right around the same time I told my parents about what had happened at camp.

  My life changed dramatically after that. I started to feel like my old self, stopped hiding and staying away from things. I had breakfast with Pat one morning at the Angry Egg, and that’s when I ran into Madison. She asked me out, and I figured it wouldn’t hurt since I was lonely. I never expected to sleep with her, never mind have a baby.

  I stripped off my clothes, making sure to dump them in the hamper before I climbed into the bed. I stared up at the moon under the skylight. I hated this place after Jillian left. Every single memory of her was here, and I had resisted the urge to burn it to the ground many times.

  My phone blinked on the table next to me.

  Unknown: I need to talk to you.

  Unknown: It’s Jillian.

  Unknown: I have Jo’s bachelorette party tomorrow night, but can we get together after?

  I stared at her messages in shock.

  Hutch: I want to tell you to lose my number.

>   Lie.

  Jillian: You have every right.

  Hutch: I have the bachelor party, but I can bail early.

  Jillian: You don’t have to.

  Hutch: For you, I will.

  Jillian: I am so sorry.

  Hutch: Don’t do that.

  Jillian: I want to tell you the truth this time.

  Hutch: Promise?

  Jillian: Pinky promise.

  I laid back to stare up at the window again. Was this actually going to happen or was she leading me on again? My heart rattled against my ribs as fear clenched my mind. Would I be able to handle the truth from her?

  Hutch: I want to believe you, Jilly, but I can’t trust you right now.

  Jillian: Can’t say I blame you.

  Hutch: What time?

  Jillian: Nine?

  Hutch: You don’t plan on hanging with the girls that long, huh?

  Jillian: Naked dancing dudes is not my thing.

  Hutch: I agree with you on that one.

  Hutch: Nine sounds good.

  Jillian: You want me to come to you?

  Hutch: Sure. I’ll see you then.

  It took me a long time to fall asleep. I had waited a long four years to get the answer to why she left me. Now I only had few hours to find out.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Jillian

  I knocked back another shot as I watched Magic Mike gyrate his hips in Jo’s face while Belle, Holly, and Claire urged him on. I was happy that she was having such a great time, but honestly, ew, no, thank you. I tilted my head back to get a better look at him. Strong jawline, handsome face, with a nice body; only he wasn’t really my type of guy. Hutch was my type of guy.

  I reached for another fruity pink shot and winced as the liquid burned going down my throat. I rolled my eyes as Belle eagerly shoved folded dollar bills down the stripper’s pants. Yikes, maybe that was my cue to leave.

  “Whoa, whoa, where are you going, sis?” Jo grabbed my arm as I got to my feet. “You’re dressed to kill, it’s not even ten o’clock, and you think you’re just going to waltz out of here the night of my bachelorette party?” She slurred her words just enough for me to realize she was already half in the bag. Fabulous.

  Jo was right about the dressed to kill part. She had convinced me to wear the sheer black top with a black bra underneath, and a pair of black dress pants that made me feel like a million bucks tonight. The last time I remembered feeling this sexy was when I wore that blue dress that Hutch...I shook my head. No, I had to stop thinking about him. This night was about my sister, not about Hutch.

  “I was going to get some fresh air,” I lied. “It’s really hot in here.”

  Jo nodded. “That’s the sweaty man meat.” She grinned. “You’re not going to go home and feel sorry about yourself because Hutch is with lame-assed Madison,” she drawled on. “Not tonight anyway.” She stirred me back to my chair. “Hey, Channing!” Jo snapped her fingers. “My sister needs a little one-on-one to get over her ex.”

  “How drunk are you?” I hissed between clenched teeth.

  My sister only giggled. “Well, we had the champagne at the house before we got here.” Jo ticked off one finger. “Then we had a few drinks at the restaurant, followed by more shots and drinks here.” She stuck out her tongue at me. “So I’m really, really, really fucking drunk.” Jo stumbled slightly when she turned toward Claire, who threw her head back and laughed.

  “Jesus fucking Christ.” I rolled my eyes. “Okay, enough.” I planted my palms against the burly chest dude in front of me who clearly didn’t get the hint I wasn’t interested. When he didn’t move, I let out a huff. “Hey, guy, get a hint. You’re cute and all, but I’m not the bride. Also?” I slid away from his sweaty body. “You’re totally not my type.” I went rushing after my sister who was reaching for one of the shots still left on the table. “Maybe not a good idea, Jo, what do you think?” I’d had my share of booze, but not as much as my dear sister had.

  Jo waved her hand. “I’m fine, what happened to Mister Hot Pants?” She giggled again before she threw her shot back and then adjusted the crown on her head that read Bride. “You two would look super cute together.” She smirked.

  “You know how hungover you’re going to be tomorrow?”

  “Don’t care.”

  My brows dipped. “You’re going to care when you wake up tomorrow with the worst headache in America, hugging the porcelain God.” I pointed out. “Maybe take a moment to breathe a little.” I suggested.

  Jo rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so boring, Jill, live a little. I’m going to be married in two short days to the love of my life. Can’t I have a little fun tonight?” She threw her hands up in the air. “If you’re so bored or don’t want to be here, just leave because we all know that’s what you want to do anyway. You’ve been staring at your phone the moment we left the house, like you couldn’t wait to fucking not be around us.”

  I knew that it wasn’t my sister talking right now but the booze that was currently running through her veins. “Fine.” I placed the glass I had just picked up back on the table. “If that’s the way you really feel.” I squared my shoulders. “Sorry to ruin everyone’s fun.” I turned to head out of the club.

  “Jill, wait, don’t go.” I heard Holly calling after me, but I didn’t stop. I knew when I wasn’t wanted, and I was already late for my meeting with Hutch. I had promised him that I would be at his place at nine tonight to finally tell him why I had left him without saying goodbye. I had dragged my feet long enough. It was time to face the music.

  ***

  All the lights were off at Hutch’s apartment when I arrived at nearly eleven o’clock. The front door was open, the screen door shut, and that was odd to me considering how he felt about safety. I tightened my grip on the six-pack of beer I had picked up on my way before I headed up the stairs, noticing the light from the television inside. How long had he been inside waiting? Did he blow off Pat’s party for me? The screen door slapped shut behind me, and I saw Hutch’s bulky figure on the couch, but he never moved. I toed off my shoes and walked barefoot toward him.

  “I’ve been waiting for you.” Hutch’s voice was low when he finally spoke, and I realized he had the sound off on the television. “What happened, Jilly? Couldn’t decide if you wanted to show up or not? Got cold feet or something?”

  I took a shaky breath. “It’s not that simple.” I hated how I sounded. “I tried to leave earlier, but Jo was drunk, and...” My voice trailed off as I stared at him when he finally glanced over his shoulder at me with a completely blank face.

  “Is one of those beers for me?” Hutch’s husked voice sent heat throughout my body. I placed the alcohol on the end table next to the sofa. Hutch reached for one, popped it open, and took a long sip without saying anything. I finally reached for a bottle, but didn’t open it right away.

  I knew I hurt Hutch. He told me his darkest secret, we fell in love, and then I left him without saying goodbye. It hurt me just as much, but I did it because I had no other choice. I was here tonight to finally confess everything, and wish him the best because I wanted him to be happy. He deserved nothing less. I suddenly had the urge to touch him, but kept my hands to myself.

  He finally glanced over his shoulder to look at me, his brown eyes shining from the light of the television. He didn’t say a word as he stood up, placing the now empty bottle of beer on the table, and began to move toward me. I hadn’t even realized I had backed up until I felt the wall behind me. Hutch’s hands cupped my face as he slowly brought his lips against mine. They were warm, and I eagerly opened my mouth for his tongue to evade my space. Hutch growled deep in his chest, causing desire to pool deep inside my belly, and I clung to his shoulders as he pushed me further against the wall.

  Hutch’s tongue swept through my mouth from top to bottom and back to meet mine again as my nipples hardened inside my bra. They ached to be touched, needed to be licked and sucked as Hutch’s teeth grazed my lips. When he stopped
to look at me, I felt like I might burn up into a million pieces with the way his gaze made me melt. How could I have left this man? Why did I think that I would be okay without him in my life? When I opened my mouth to speak, he placed a finger over my lips and simply shook his head, his lids heavy with lust.

  Hutch ran his hands down my arms, over my hips, and then my ass, causing a pounding need to begin to build inside me. He peppered little kisses against my mouth and down my neck as his hands moved around my back to remove my shirt. He took a step back to help me slip off my top, and then he moved in to unhook my bra, making sure to drop it onto the floor. He easily removed my pants next, his hands brushing over my nipples, and then he hooked two fingers into my panties, ripping them off.

  I reached up to grab Hutch’s face, kissing him hard on the mouth, the sound of his zipper somewhere in my mind, and then he slammed me back against the wall, thrusting into me in one move. I screamed out his name, pleasure pulsing through my body. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he lifted one leg, and then the other, his cock searing into me over and over again. “More,” I demanded. “Please, baby, more.” I needed him to make me forget the past four years before I came apart.

  Hutch’s hips smacked against mine as he dove into me, his lips never leaving mine. His eyes flashed between lust, desire, love, and need as he fucked me with something I had never felt before. “I missed you, Jilly,” he murmured as he moved together like a well-oiled machine.

  “Fuck, you feel so good,” he groaned as we moved together. “I’ve been dreaming about this since the day you left,” His voice caught in his throat as he thrusted harder, and when he pressed his hand down to my clit, I dragged my nails across his back, seeing stars behind my eyes as I exploded around him. He buried his face in my neck just as all his muscles went stiff and he followed me over the edge.

  I clung to Hutch for only a moment before he helped me back onto my feet. He took a step back from me before he turned and rushed to the bathroom, the sound of water filling my ears. I followed him, hoping I could ease whatever was going on inside his head right now, only to have him meet me halfway. “Whatever you’re thinking right now, I want you to tell me.”