Vanilla Moon: Acrimony

by Airiel Hawkins

  A sob erupted from my throat and Wolfgang pulled over to the side of the road before reaching out to me. I cried out and flinched away from him. He pulled his hand away as if I'd burned him. I couldn't breathe in this truck. I needed out. I needed something familiar.

  I groped for the door handle. It took me a few tries to open the door and I tumbled out of it, falling to the asphalt beneath the truck with a thud. I stayed on my hands and knees as I cried. Even here, with all the air, I couldn't breathe.

  I curled up into a ball as Wolfgang came to a stop in front of me. He knelt and started to reach out toward me but pulled his hand away. "Do you want me to call the twins?" he asked.

  I started to nod, but I shook my head. I wanted to get over this on my own. I wanted to be able to fix this all on my own. I couldn't rely on the twins. If this was my reality now, I'd have to get used to it pretty fucking fast.

  "Breathe, Baby," Wolfgang said. He reached out and started rubbing circles on my back. I started to recoil away from him again, but his touch seemed to calm me down in a weird way. "Breathe in," he said before he audibly took in a breath. I kept gasping for air. "Breathe out," he said before he blew out all the air. He repeated himself a few times before I started to mimic him. I slowly felt myself start to calm down. "There you go," he said in a quiet voice.

  My eyes burned as I looked around me. Tears still fell down my cheeks, but the panic wasn't there anymore. I could breathe again, even though my body still trembled.

  "Better?" Wolfgang asked.

  I nodded. He helped me stand and I brushed the rocks and dirt off my hands and legs. I looked at him, saw the worry in his eyes, and felt guilty. "I don't… I'm sorry," I whispered as I looked away.

  He hooked his finger under my chin and turned my face toward him. "You don't have anything to be sorry for," he said in that same soft voice that helped me calm down. "You're going through something very traumatic. You're bound to get overwhelmed by all this."

  For some reason, I felt wrong for breaking down. It was as if I knew that I was in a position where breaking down wasn't allowed. I shook my head. "Then why does it feel wrong?" I asked, my voice shaking.

  Wolfgang sighed before he pulled me into his arms. I felt like a limp noodle, willing to go wherever he wanted me to. His arms were warm. His body molded around mine like a blanket. He held me the way a familiar lover does, and I found myself relaxing into him. I breathed in his scent and felt a wave of calm wash over me. My heartbeat slowed. My tears stopped. My muscles relaxed. I could have fallen asleep in his arms if I wasn't standing.

  He helped me back into the truck and shut the door. I watched him as he walked around the hood to the driver's side door and got back in. I laid down across the bench seat and rest my head on his thigh. He threaded his fingers through my hair and drove us to the motel.

  At the motel, we walked into the room I had stayed in. It was dark in here. There was a bed in the center of one wall. A dresser opposite it with a television on top. There was a small round table under the window, and the bathroom at the back. Wolfgang shut the door behind us and stood back as I wondered around, hoping to spark some sort of memory.

  There was a feeling of familiarity here. I could sense that this wasn't the first time I'd been in this room. I ran my hand along the comforter covering the bed. The texture was just like every other comforter I'd ever touched. I sat down and looked at the room.

  "Anything?" Wolfgang asked.

  I shook my head. "Nothing," I whispered. "What did we do while we were here?" I asked.

  "We watched a movie," he said as he moved toward the bed. He sat down with me. "We made up our own card game. I asked you to marry me here," he said.

  "Here?" I asked. "Didn't you say that we were only here for five days?"

  Wolfgang nodded. "We were, but I already knew you were my mate," he explained. "I already knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you because I wouldn't be able to live without you."

  "What was our card game?" I asked.

  "We based it on War. High card got to ask a question. Low card had to answer honestly. It was a great icebreaker for us. We learned a lot about each other playing it."

  I studied him again. It seemed like I couldn't stop staring at his face. The scruff on his cheeks indicated that he hadn't shaved in a few days. His goatee was bushy, and his hair was long and unruly; a mass of black waves. His eyes fluctuated between icy blue and fiery amber, depending on his mood. Right now, they were sad.

  "Let's try mating," I suggested. "I know that you said that you don't think it'll help because I'm not actually injured, but at this point even your memories are better than no memories."

  He reached for my hand and squeezed my fingers gently. "If we mate again, you'll get pregnant again," he reminded me. He met my eyes. "This version of you might be okay with that, but the woman I was with before you lost your memories wasn't ready for that. Yes, we need to have a child, but we can wait until you have your memories and you're ready for it. I don't want you to agree to something today that you're going to regret once you have your memories back."

  "That's the real reason you don't want to do it, isn't it?" I asked. "It's not because you think it won't work—you know it will. You're worried that I'll resent you when I have my memories back because it'll mean that I'm pregnant again before I'm mentally prepared to be."

  He hesitated before he nodded. "Yeah," he whispered.

  I scooted closer to him and held his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me. "I will not resent you for this," I promised. "I will not look at you and wish you gone from my life. I will not begrudge you helping me, even if it means a child I'm not ready for. Do you hear me?" I asked. He blinked and tears fell from his eyes. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him tightly as his arms wrapped around my waist. "I love you," I whispered, knowing it was true with or without my memories.

  We kissed then. It was everything I never imagined it could be. He was intense and passionate, as well as tender and soft. His fingers tangled in my hair as I wrapped my arms around his neck. With ease, he shifted us so that we lay down on the bed and his hands did everything right. Within moments, I was on fire and ready for more.

  "Now?" he whispered.

  I nodded. "Now."

  He pulled my shirt up over my head. He unclasped my bra with one hand and flung it aside. He started kissing his way down my body and clamped his mouth over my nipple. I cried out because I couldn't hold it in.

  My pants were the next to go and took my panties with them. I lay naked before Wolfgang and he was still dressed. I reached up and pulled his shirts over his head. He shucked his pants and lay down with me again. I fit into his arms as if we were two pieces of the same puzzle; meant to be together.

  Wolfgang poised himself at my entrance. "When we come, bite into my shoulder," he said. I nodded, and he eased himself inside of me. I gasped and cried out because he filled me to the brim. We moved against each other as if we'd been doing this all our lives, not just the last two months. I felt the pressure building up inside of me as we moved, and I knew that he was going to do to me what Todd never could.

  All the sudden, it came over me. A rush of pleasure so intense that all I could do was ride the wave. Wolfgang's mouth on my left shoulder reminded me that I needed to do the same to him. I bit down on his shoulder as his teeth pierced mine. His blood rushed into my mouth, hot and thick, and I drank it down.

  I felt as if my body dissolved into him. It was like we became one glowing ball of light instead of two people on a bed. I knew everything about Wolfgang in that moment. I felt the love he had for me and it only intensified the feelings I harbored myself. We were meant to be together. Everything I had in me poured into him and when it came back, I remembered everything.

  The moment I saw him for the first time as he gave an elderly couple back their change.

  The way our fingers brushed when he handed me the menu.

  Spending five days with him in the mot
el room and agreeing to marry him because it just felt right.

  Fighting with him because he and Alan had a cryptic conversation that involved me.

  Telling him that if it was as unimportant as he insisted, he could leave.

  Knowing that it was true when he told me the truth.

  My first full moon.

  Mating with him.

  The pregnancy test.

  Dinner on Valentine's Day when he asked me to marry him again.

  The attack that stole our baby.

  I killed Abigail….

  I remembered… everything.

  I pulled away from him and stared at Wolfgang as the emotions of these events rushed through me. I couldn't breathe again, for a very different reason. A sob escaped me, and he held me tight. "Breathe," he whispered in my ear. "Breathe, Baby."

  I shook my head. "Can't," I gasped. I let out another sob, breaking down in his arms.

  He held me tight and tried to brush away my tears. "I know it’s a lot," he said. "I know that it feels like it's going to overwhelm you. You survived everything. You're still here. You're going to be fine."

  I shook my head and my vision blurred with more tears. "How can you say that?" I whispered.

  "Because you already lived through this stuff," he replied. "Look at me," he said as my eyes closed. I opened them again and met his. "You are strong enough for this," he said. "You will survive this."

  I took in a deep breath. "Okay."

  "Yeah?" he asked as he brushed my hair away.

  I nodded. "Yeah."

  "What do you say we take a shower?" he asked.

  I nodded. As we walked to the bathroom, Wolfgang stopped and checked his phone. "Anica's being released tomorrow," he said with a frown.

  "Oh?" I asked. "Should she not be?"

  Wolfgang shrugged. "We were trying to keep her there longer because she's the main suspect right now as the traitor," he explained. "Richard thinks she's pregnant too, since her wounds haven't been healing the way they should."

  "That's what Soph said at the clinic the other day," I replied. "She also said it was weird because everyone else had severe gashes made from claws, but hers looked like knife wounds."

  "It also smelled like she had an infection," Wolfgang said.

  I stopped and reached for his arm. "Wolfie…."

  He sighed. "Yeah," he agreed.

  "But why?" I asked.

  He shrugged. "I don't know. It's not like her."

  "We need to tell the Neuri," I said.

  He nodded. "I'm sure they know, but let's shower first. Then talk to them. I'll have Luke bring Anica back to the house."

  After our shower, Wolfgang and I returned to his parents' house and went straight to the library. He opened a drawer and pulled out a phone book. However they got in touch with the Neuri, Wolfgang did not have a direct line to them.

  He dialed the number on his phone before bringing it to his ear. After a moment, someone answered. "I am the Volsunga and I have a lead on who the traitor is," he said. "Come to my father's library."

  There was no response from the other line. The beep sounded to indicate the call was ended and Wolfgang pulled the phone away from his ear before he set it down on the desk. Within fifteen minutes, the library doors opened again and in walked three hooded figures clad in white with masks over their blindfolds.

  We told them everything we concluded about Anica. The Neuri listened to what we said before the one with a V embroidered on his robe spoke.

  "We have already concluded that Anica is the traitor," Virgil said. "We were waiting on confirming more evidence before announcing her guilt. What you have told us fits with what we already know. When Anica arrives, have her locked up in the dungeon and chained. She will be fed to the Moeris."

  Wolfgang nodded. "I will have her detained," he vowed.

  Chapter 18 ~Wolfgang~

  The next morning, I called everyone into the library again. Ceres joined us and sat in the chair behind my father's desk. She stared at the world in front of her as if it wasn't there. I knew she was still working through the overload of information from her memories coming back to her all at once. I knew that she was going to need a while before she felt okay again.

  Every so often, she looked up at me. A few times, I had the impression that she wanted to say something, but she never spoke.

  I also didn't speak until everyone had gathered in the library. I looked at their faces. Cynthia, the woman who taught me how to respect other women and that it was okay to look up to them in ways my mother hadn't been able to make me understand. Hunter, who proved every day that being a geek was cool and that it was okay to come in second. Margaret, who put me in check so many times that I wondered if I'd have a permanent bruise from it. Richard, who gave me another father figure to look up to and a sense of loyalty and dignity that I longed to emulate. Luke, who became my best friend even though we had almost nothing in common. Riley and Rodney, who were the brothers I didn't know I needed.

  Ceres. Gods! She was my breath of life and kept me here. She was what made me wake up every day.

  I stared at them for a few more seconds before I cleared my throat. "We're going to the old mill," I said. I walked over to the desk and turned the computer monitor around so that the screen faced them. I hit the button to turn the monitor on. I hadn't slept much last night, so I'd searched online for a schematic of the mill. I wanted a plan of attack. I wanted to go in there knowing what to expect.

  Ceres stood and walked around the desk so that she could see it as well.

  "I'm betting that Brenda will wait here," I said, pointing to the center where the well stood. There were three buildings clumped together in a triangle. The well stood in the center of that space. Keeping with Brenda's Center of Attention attitude, I figured she would want to be front and center. "Ceres and I will approach her from the south," I explained. "I want two of you in each building. There should only be four of them, but these are the four most powerful Witches we've ever come up against. I don't want to take chances.

  "I'll go along with their plan at first," I continued. "If it were me, I'd take Ceres, then try to kill me. When they do, Ceres, I want you to take any opportunity you see. Grab Mira and get her to the clinic. I'll find you once Brenda is dead."

  Ceres nodded. "Understood," she said, even though I could see in her eyes that she wasn't happy with my instruction.

  I cleared my throat and looked at everyone else. "When they leave, attack," I said. "I want to give them a clear exit. I don't want to risk anyone stopping her."

  They nodded. I looked at my watch. "We have two hours," I said. "Richard, head back to the clinic. Be the extra backup in case someone follows her."

  He nodded. "As you command."

  "Let's go."

  The mill was once one of the largest sources of revenue in Adamsville. Now, thanks to commercialization, it was a decaying landmark left over from when my forebears settled this land. The crumbling brick façade and broken windows spoke of how long the mill was empty. The paint on the doors peeled away long ago and the hinges were so rusted that the doors no longer opened.

  The others arrived ahead of us. I didn't want Brenda to think we were eager or that we had anyone with us. As far as she knew, Ceres and I would be alone.

  We sat on the old dry well as we waited for the Witches to show. Thunder rolled across the sky. Ceres held my hand and I noticed that she wasn't wearing her ring.

  "Where is it?" I asked, squeezing her hand.

  She looked at our joined hands before she reached under the collar of her shirt and pulled out a gold chain. "I didn't want to risk it getting damaged," she said. The ring popped out of her shirt and slid down the chain to where she'd hooked her thumb. Once she saw me smile, she put it back under her shirt, where it wouldn't get caught on bones and gore should she need to fight.

  I looked back over the mill and the melting snow as my watch beeped the hour. At the end of the drive, we watched a mist form. From the mist
, four women appeared. They approached us and I saw that one of them carried my little sister.

  She had black hair and a plump frame. She wore jeans and a denim jacket. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail.

  Mira still wore her pajamas, torn sleeve and all. Half of her hair was still in its ponytail while the other half was wild and unhinged. Her blue eyes were glazed over, which made me wonder if they'd put her under some sort of spell.

  Another woman was Black and looked both fearsome and exotic, with sharp angles in her face and high cheekbones. Her hair hung in braids around her head. Each braid ended with a silver spiked bead.

  The third minion was blonde and carried a sword over her shoulder, like an infantry soldier with a rifle.

  Brenda led them toward us, her red hair billowing out behind her in that unnatural wind she seemed to carry.

  Mira struggled against her captor the moment she saw us. She flailed her legs, but it wasn't until she sunk her teeth into the Witch's arm that the woman released her. Mira hit the ground and started running toward us. Ceres knelt with her arms outstretched. Mira jumped into them and Ceres stood, breathing a sigh of deep relief.

  "This might be easier than I thought," I whispered.

  "I wouldn't count on it," Ceres replied.

  My heart raced. I waited for the Witches to get closer. I wanted to catch them off guard. I held my breath before the wind kicked up around us.

  Beside me, Ceres gasped. She held Mira out away from herself and gave my sister a suspicious look.

  "Ceres?" I asked.

  Eyes can deceive a person, which is why most animals don't rely on it. They rely on scent. We rely on scent. A person can look friendly. Another can have a disguise almost identical to your best friend… but smell never lies.

  Mira did not smell like Mira.

  She grinned. "Surprise!" she said before she opened her palm and shot a blast of Witchfire at my mate. Ceres flew backward, over the covered well, and landed with a thud on the other side. Mira picked herself up from the ground and dusted off her pajamas.

  "What the fuck?" I demanded.