by JA Low
“From what we heard today, she’s a brilliant doctor.”
Everyone around the clinic spoke so highly about her. I hated hearing it at the time. Hated that everyone could love her except for me.
“She’s doing good work,” Natalia states.
“So, you’re saying what? That I should leave her be?” My sister’s face softens.
“I think you have had a shock today.” Natalia smiles at me. “That has changed the way you have been feeling for the past year.”
I have hated Lilly for so long, and now? Now what? I find out my hate is all based on a lie.
“I think you need to let this whole situation sink in before you do anything else.”
“It’s hard when, for the first time, my heart has started beating again.”
Natalia lays her head on my shoulder. “You have waited this long. What’s a little longer?”
Maybe she’s right.
“First things first, I’m going to deal with Lilly’s ex first.”
Natalia simply chuckles.
Luca: I’ve dealt with Rob.
Lilly: Please tell me he is still alive?
Lilly: Luca!!
Chuckling to myself as I tease her, I type out another message.
Luca: Yes, he’s alive. But he might not be after I sent his girlfriend copies of all the messages he’s sent to other women.
Lilly: What a dick! Will he never learn?
Luca: Doesn’t look like it.
Lilly: Why are men such idiots?
Luca: Not all men.
Lilly: All men have an idiot buried inside of them. Just have to wait for the right situation and out they come.
Luca: You’re probably right.
Lilly: Thanks for unblocking me to share this good news.
Yep. I’m officially an idiot, and that was my biggest idiotic moment of all time.
How do I apologize for the misunderstanding?
Luca: You know I’m sorry about that.
Lilly: I know you are. It was one giant mess.
Luca: I wanted to kill him for what he did to us.
Lilly: It’s hard to not think what could have been.
Oh good, I’m not alone in thinking this way.
This is a good start.
Luca: Doesn’t mean it can’t be again.
Just say the word Lilly.
The silence that came after that text message was deafening.
A couple of days later came the perfect opportunity for me to text Lilly again as she’d just moved to Albania for her promotion. I’m proud of her, and it had nothing to do with me whatsoever.
Luca: How’s Albania?
Lilly: It’s gorgeous. But fucking cold.
This makes me chuckle.
Luca: Settling in okay.
Lilly: Yeah. Everyone seems lovely. I’m pretty excited to get stuck into the work. I know I can’t save everyone, but I have to try.
I love that she is so passionate about the cause.
Luca: Those girls have the best woman looking after them. You are going to change their lives.
Lilly: Stop it! You’re making me cry.
Luca: I’m proud of you, Lil. I’ve heard nothing but praise from everyone you have worked with.
Lilly: Have you been checking up on me?
Is she teasing, or is she upset?
Luca: I neither confirm nor deny.
Lilly: Spoken like a true politician.
Luca: The palace is separate from the state.
Lilly: Oh, you’re good. Divert. Divert. Divert. lol
Phew, she is teasing.
Luca: Do you have plans for Christmas?
Lilly: No, I’ll be working.
Luca: Have you seen your sister recently?
Lilly: No, not in almost a year. Been saving lives and stuff. She understands, though.
This gives me the perfect idea to perhaps get back into Lilly’s good graces.
28
Luca
I’m getting ready to go to my parents’ home for Christmas Eve when my phone rings. ‘Lilly’ is displayed on the screen—looks like she got my Christmas present.
“Merry Christmas,” I answer the phone with a giant smile on my face even though she can’t see.
“You… I… how the hell did you do this?”
“Thanks, Luca,” Lauren calls out in the background. She sounds happy.
“I couldn’t let you have another Christmas without your sister.” The phone line goes quiet except for what sounds like sniffles.
“Thank you…” she hiccups through her tears, “… I don’t know how I can repay you for this?”
“You owe me nothing, Lilly.” Just knowing how happy she is, is more than enough for me.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you…” she repeats over and over again with a smile in her voice. “This is going to be the best Christmas, ever. Except…”
My stomach sinks, what did I miss?
“Except what?”
“Except you’re not here.” The phone goes quiet for a few seconds, then she backtracks with, “I’m sorry, Luca, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“I’d give anything to there with you.”
“You would?”
“Yeah, I miss you, Lilly.”
“I miss you too, Luca,” she confesses.
“I can’t get there to see you until after the new year.” Cursing my calendar and all the engagements I said yes to, to purely to keep my mind off Lilly, I sigh.
“There’s no rush. Maybe this time we should take our time.”
“I’d like that.”
Maybe she’s right. The first time we were together, we went from zero to one hundred pretty damn quickly. Now that I know there’s a chance between us, we have all the time in the world.
“Merry Christmas, Luca.”
“Merry Christmas, Lilly.” With a smile on my face, I hang up the phone.
Over the holidays, we spoke every day. Yeah, I know, we said we should go slow, but when it came to it, it was kind of hard to do.
“You seem happier.” Mamma sits beside me on the sofa—we’re about to ring in the new year.
“I am.” With the whisky tumbler in my hand, I lift it to take a drink.
“Is it the doctor?”
I’m surprised she knows about Lilly and I reconnecting, so I raise an eyebrow.
“It’s my job to know what’s happening with all my children. Plus, Natalia filled me in.”
“Lilly and I have reconnected.”
Mamma nods. “She has a good reputation at the charity for her hard work.”
“She’s amazing, Mamma.”
“Your face lights up when you speak about her.” Mamma reaches over and squeezes my thigh.
“I want to get it right this time, Mamma.”
“You know she’ll have to give up her job if you want to marry her.”
This is a fact, and this is what I’m afraid of. Looking over at my mother, I don’t know who Lilly loves more—being a doctor or me.
“She could still deal with the causes, but she could not be on the frontline like she is now.”
“That’s what I’m worried about.”
“Her call is strong, caro mio, My dear, and I know this would be one of the reasons that could make your relationship difficult.”
“I can’t let her go again,” I say, knowing she’s right as I look up at her.
She reaches out and cups my face. “Give her the choice. Do not take that away from her. Be prepared for her not to give you the answer you may want, but, above all, be patient. She has worked all her life to become a doctor.
Of course, my mother is right.
We’re both still young, we have plenty of time.
“Ti amo, I love you, Mamma.”
“Luca, Luca.” Natalia rushes into my apartment.
“Where’s the fire?”
Natalia glares at me.
“Luca…” Giorgio isn’t far behind her.
The look on their faces
tells me something serious has happened.
“What is it?” I look between my siblings.
“It’s Lilly.”
What? I only spoke to her this morning.
“Tell me?” Panic laces every inch of my body as I wait.
“Lilly’s been kidnapped,” Natalia stresses.
The shock of her words makes me stumble for a moment. “Kidnapped?” I repeat the word as bile rises in my throat, and a light sheen of sweat forms across my forehead.
No.
No.
No.
“She was safe. She was supposed to be safe.” Anger bubbling to the surface as my fists ball tightly.
“All we know so far is that she sacrificed herself,” Giorgio informs me.
“Don’t say that,” I scream at my brother. “She’s alive. She has to be.”
Giorgio and Natalia both look at each other with pain etched across their faces.
No.
Please, God, no.
I should’ve told her I still loved her this morning. It was on the tip of my tongue, but things have been going so well this past month, I didn’t want to jinx anything. Falling to my knees with the weight of the world on me, my head falls into my hands. This can’t be happening not when I’ve finally got her back.
“Luca,” Natalia says softly, wrapping her arms around me. “We haven’t had confirmation so there’s still hope.”
Turning, I look at my sister through watery eyes. “I still love her.”
Natalia wraps her arms around me tighter. “I know you do.”
Once the initial shock wore off, Giorgio, Natalia, and I headed to the emergency briefing at the charity’s headquarters. Lilly has been working in an Albania women’s health clinic in a small town called Tropojë which borders with Kosovo Republic or Serbia, depending on which side of the conflict you’re on. Lilly loves being able to make a difference in the women’s lives who have been saved because of the charity.
We’re ushered into the boardroom filled with people in suits, all looking tense. There are a couple of men in military uniforms and some junior staff running around doing things for their bosses. When we entered the room, everyone stood, bowed, then sat down.
The Director of the Board explains that the women’s clinic was stormed by men dressed in paramilitary looking uniforms. He then clicks onto the smartboard in front of him and brings up the security footage.
Natalia reaches under the table and holds my hand as I watch, in grainy black and white, the worst horror movie of my life. In slow motion, the men point their automatic weapons at our team. Right there at the front is Lilly with fear written all over her face.
Fuck! I squeeze Natalia’s hand tighter as we watch in silence at the events unfolding before our very eyes.
I watch as one of the men grabs a female doctor and throws her to the ground, hard. Blood begins to pour from a wound on her head. They are shouting at the group when someone steps forward to help the woman on the ground, but they get a gun pointed at their head.
Lilly steps forward, and I watch in disbelief as a gun is pointed directly at her.
Whoever that fucker is, I’m going to kill him.
Her hands are shaking. That’s the only outward sign that she’s scared because her face shows determination when she says something to the men. Two of them turn to discuss something, then one of them reaches out and grabs Lilly. The woman on the floor is crying and screaming as they drag Lilly away.
The Director explains that witnesses advised that Lilly Simpson offered herself instead because the doctor they wanted to take had two small children at home.
Fuck, Lilly. Why the hell do you have to be a martyr?
We continue to listen, but it doesn’t take me long before I’m storming out of the headquarters and to my town car. “Bunch of incompetent fools.” I slam my fist against the bulletproof glass. “They’re going to get her killed going through all that fucking red tape.”
“Their hands are tied, Luca. The charity has protocols,” Natalia reminds me.
“Fuck them! I don’t. I don’t have fucking protocols. I don’t care how much it’s going to cost… I need to get her home. I don’t care how we do it or even who does it. She needs to be home. Safe.” I thump my chest. “With me.”
“I know someone who can help.” Giorgio looks up at me. “They know how the Bratva works, especially the human trafficking side. They have rescued many women from them before this.” Hope blooms as Giorgio tells me more. “They are based out of Ibiza. Honestly, I think they can help.”
“Then do it. I don’t care how much it costs. I want her home, now!”
That night my dreams are filled with nightmares. Images of Lilly being taken from the clinic, of blood, gunshots have me waking up in a cold sweat.
Getting out of bed, I grab myself a bottle of water and look out over my balcony at the ancient buildings.
“Please don’t hurt her,” I say a prayer.
Resting my head against the cool brick, suddenly, an idea hits me. I remember I still have her phone number in my system when I was a crazy stalker. Rushing to my laptop, I open it and click on the app.
“Please, please, have your phone on you, Lilly.”
The screen turns on, but there’s no longer a blinking light, which means her phone isn’t turned on anymore. Fuck! I click a couple more links, and it shows me exactly where she was last—Kosovo.
At least now we have a place to start.
We’ll find you, Lilly.
That, I promise.
29
Lilly
I don’t want to die.
The words are on loop inside my brain.
My hands are tied behind my back as soon as we’re outside the clinic. A bag put over my head, and I’m shoved into a waiting truck. My heart feels like it’s going to launch right out of my chest, the thundering beat echoing thought my brain.
The rumble of the engine starts and vibrates through me.
When we take off, I slide across the chair and hit my shoulder against the cold hard steel.
I don’t want to die.
We travel along bumpy roads. The suspension on the truck is bad as I bounce all over the place.
Where the hell are we going?
I’ve been trying to calm myself down.
When you’re panicking, you don’t remember things, things that could ultimately save your life.
I slow my breathing down and try to remember every little thing about what just happened. It seemed to happen so fast, it felt more like a blur. I concentrate and try to remember every tiny detail.
I’ve only been in Albania a short time, but I have picked up a little bit of their language. Enough anyway to deal with the basics in women’s health, but I don’t think it’s the same words as the kidnappers. Concentrating hard, I try and see if I can pinpoint anything about what these men are saying.
Why the hell do I not know anything about guns? That may help me. The guns they were holding appeared big and black. Yeah, that could be any type of gun, I have no idea.
What are they wearing?
All black military—top, pants, I think Kevlar chest plates, ski masks—your typical standard bad-guy gear.
Now isn’t the time for jokes, Lilly.
But if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry.
No, don’t do either. You’ll have a full-on mental breakdown and probably get yourself killed for being hysterical.
Think, Lilly, think.
One of them had a tattoo on his forehand. I noticed it when he had the gun pointing at Mariana.
Think, Lilly.
My mind is fuzzy, the image is blurry.
A star. He had a star.
I remember when I first started, the team told me what the different tattoos meant, especially on the women. They told me that if I saw a man with a ten-pointed star that they were Bratva or Russian mafia and to be very careful.
Oh shit! I’m in a truckload of trouble.
Panic begins to take over.
My chest tightens, the binds around my wrists begin to cut into me.
Keep it together, Lilly.
Keep it together.
After what seems like forever, the truck finally stops. The crunch of boots on gravel echo around me, then the screech of the truck doors opening gain my attention. Someone yells at me in a language I don’t understand. When their hands land on me, I jump. I still have the bag over my head and can’t see a thing. Whoever they are pull me up and drag me across the truck, then throw me off the edge. Fucking hell! Someone catches me before I can hit the ground.
The men chuckle at my screams.
I’m righted once again and dragged along the gravel, which I’m assuming is a pathway. The gravel turns into concrete or stone, I’m not sure. The sound of stomping boots is all around me. There’s no way I can escape. I don’t even know where I am.
The temperature changes from the frigid cold of the harsh winter to tropical heat. We must be inside now. I’m pushed hard in the back, my feet tripping over each other, and I land on my knees hard, scraping them through my jeans. Momentum has me falling forward, my forehead hitting carpet.
It’s going to be okay, Lilly.
Trying to calm myself down, I tell myself, you’ll be okay. They need you for something. Then they are going to let you go again. You just need to survive. Do as you’re told, then you can go home and put this whole mess behind you.
There’s shouting suddenly, then the sound of flesh hitting flesh. Squeezing my eyes shut, I attempt to block the dreadful sounds by tensing. The next moment, the rope around my wrists has been cut, and my hood is being removed.
It takes my eyes a while to adjust as I slowly sit up on my heels. Blinking a couple of times, a man’s face comes into focus. He’s smiling while holding out a hand to me. He has slick black hair, bright blue eyes, and a scar that runs down the right side of his cheek with a square jaw and the start of some stubble. He’s dangerously handsome which is very off-putting. Bad guys aren’t supposed to look like GQ models. He’s dressed in a black dress suit, the sleeves rolled up his thick, tanned arms covered in intricate tattoos.
