The Cornish Cream Tea Christmas

by Cressida McLaughlin

  With four tables downstairs, they rearranged everything so they each had one to work on. Charlie placed a couple of boxes on the last table, where they could put the wrapped presents ready to be taken upstairs.

  Hannah sat opposite Spirit, who was lying on his back on the bench, his tummy exposed. She marvelled at the thoughtful gifts Charlie had got: a set of Christmas-themed cookie-cutters, toy Routemaster buses as shiny as Gertie and sets of colourful bunting, the pennants small so they’d appeal to a child. There were snow globes with the Cornish coastline inside, teddy bears wearing ‘I love Cornwall’ sashes, and mini kaleidoscopes.

  ‘These are great,’ she said, cutting a sheet of wrapping paper, a miniature Gertie lying on its side in the middle.

  ‘Snow globes,’ Lila announced, ‘are a joy to behold, and a devil to wrap. Couldn’t you just have got a selection of CDs?’

  Charlie laughed and replenished their coffees. ‘Just think how expert we’ll be by the end of this. Wrapping our own presents will be a doddle.’

  ‘Haven’t you done that yet?’ Lila was aghast. ‘At least I’ve got an excuse – I’ve only been in the country a day.’

  ‘What have you got Sam?’ Charlie asked. ‘Or shouldn’t I know? We’re opening them all together on Christmas morning, aren’t we?’

  ‘Yup,’ Lila said. ‘So I’m keeping shtum. No sneak peeks or spoilers. What about you, Hannah? Have you done all your present buying? I except Edinburgh will be heaving the last few days before Christmas.’

  ‘It will be so pretty and festive though.’ She sighed.

  She usually enjoyed the mad crush of last-minute Christmas shopping, and she only had a few bits left to get. She already had her mum and her brother’s gifts, and she’d bought a rucksack for her dad, made from recycled materials by an eco-friendly company. Of course, it was unlikely that she’d see him, and then she’d have to get an address for wherever in the world he was, which was usually like drawing blood from a stone. Sadly, it was a post-Christmas ritual she was used to.

  ‘It’ll be fun,’ she continued. ‘And I don’t have a boyfriend to buy for, so the pressure’s off there.’

  Charlie gave her a curious look, and Hannah shrugged. Once she got home, she would have to put Noah out of her mind. She was never going to be in a happy, successful relationship if she kept mooning about men who were out of reach.

  She wondered briefly if that was something she did – go for guys she couldn’t have so she wouldn’t have to risk a real relationship. She even wondered if it had been easier to assume that Noah was unavailable; easier to keep that ambiguity between them because it meant she didn’t have to commit. But that couldn’t be true. She’d had boyfriends in the past, and they hadn’t been with other people when she’d met them. And she would have let the kiss in the spa happen, had she known Noah’s circumstances. The amount of time she’d spent imagining that scene playing out differently convinced her that her heart wasn’t risk averse. It definitely wanted Noah.

  By the time all the presents were wrapped, the sun was hanging above the sea like a chandelier, and Hannah’s hands were covered in paper cuts. Lila offered her a tube of hand cream and she accepted it gratefully.

  ‘Back here at seven tomorrow,’ Charlie said. ‘It’s going to be a long day, but hopefully a fun one. Hannah, are you sure you want to be part of it?’

  ‘I wouldn’t miss it. I can’t imagine anything more Christmassy than this tour.’

  ‘And then you’ll go home?’ Lila said with a mischievous look. ‘Not that I want you to! I’m just amused by how taken you are with Porthgolow.’

  ‘I’m going to stay for this, and then Audrey’s cleansing thing, and then—’

  ‘And then it’ll be Christmas Eve, and all the public transport will be reduced,’ Lila cut in. ‘Won’t your family be sad if you miss Christmas with them?’

  Hannah thought of her mum’s pristine house, the precision with which everything would be done. The food would be delicious, the gifts generous, but there would be no room for silliness, no space for errors or spontaneity: Even Mike’s easy-going nature seemed somehow restricted when they were together for Christmas. It was as if there was a secret camera on the ceiling, watching her mum’s every move and giving her marks out of ten.

  ‘They would be, I think,’ Hannah said carefully. ‘But it’s only one year. They’d get over it.’

  ‘It sounds to me like you’re not sure you want to go back for Christmas.’ Charlie leaned against a table, rubbing cream into her hands.

  Hannah ran her fingers through her hair, pulling at the strands. ‘God, I don’t know. It’s just … all this stuff with my mum – the arguments we’ve had on the phone. Mike will be there, and we always get on, but …’ She thought of Noah’s chaotic family home, full of love and noise and laughter, and envy twisted inside her. ‘I’m not really looking forward to it. Is that the worst thing ever?’

  ‘Nope,’ Lila said. ‘Relatives are hard work, sometimes. I should know, I’m one of the hardest.’ She grinned at Charlie and they both laughed. ‘You don’t have to be with them just because you’re family, or out of a sense of duty. That’s why you organize dinner with your friends, isn’t it? So you can celebrate with the people you love spending time with.’

  ‘That’s true,’ Hannah said.

  ‘If you don’t want to spend Christmas with your mum and brother this year,’ Charlie added, ‘then don’t.’

  ‘But what do I do instead? I guess the hotel’s still open, but—’

  ‘Of course it is,’ Charlie said. ‘We’re all going to be there. Me and Daniel, Lila and Sam, all having dinner together in the dining room. Quite a few of the villagers are coming too, Myrtle and Rose, and Reenie, because she’s on her own. There’s definitely space for you at our Christmas party, if you want to come?’

  Hannah stared at her. Did Charlie want her to be there, or was she just being nice, as she had been from the moment they met? She looked at Lila, who nodded vigorously.

  ‘Are you sure?’ Hannah asked.

  ‘Completely, one hundred per cent sure,’ Charlie said.

  Hannah laughed and stood up, hugging her then Lila. ‘I can spend Christmas with you?’

  ‘And you could do your friends’ Christmas at the hotel, too, if you wanted?’ Lila shrugged. ‘Sam and I would come, and Charlie and Daniel obviously. You could invite the ghost lady, Audrey.’

  ‘Lila,’ Charlie said. ‘You can’t get Hannah to cook you an extra Christmas dinner.’

  Hannah’s heart thudded. ‘Daniel and Levi wouldn’t want me in the kitchen …’

  ‘They wouldn’t mind about that – I’m sure Levi would be happy to have you. But you don’t have to cook for us. It’s ridiculous.’

  ‘I’d love to,’ Hannah said. ‘There’s not much time to prepare, to get the ingredients, but …’

  ‘You’re serious?’ Charlie asked.

  ‘Very serious,’ Hannah confirmed. ‘If you’re sure it’ll be OK?’

  ‘I’ll speak to Daniel this evening.’

  ‘Excellent!’ Lila’s smile was nothing short of smug. ‘It wouldn’t feel right if you left straight after the Secret Santa Tour, anyway. We’ll have to celebrate our success. We’ll be like the Three Amigos, or – oh my God!’ She turned wide eyes on her cousin. ‘We could be Charlie’s Angels!’ She held both hands up for high-fives.

  Charlie and Hannah obliged, Charlie saying, ‘Don’t you want it to be Delilah’s Angels?’

  ‘God, no. I couldn’t face the responsibility. You’re the leader, for sure. We need to practise our poses.’ She turned sideways and held her hands up in the shape of a gun, blowing on the finger-barrel and pouting dramatically. Charlie and Hannah joined in, copying Lila’s poses as they got more and more elaborate.

  By the time they’d finally stopped laughing, Spirit and Marmite had polished off the three mince pies that they’d carelessly left on a table, and were looking up at them with innocent expressions, pretending to be angels th
emselves.

  Chapter Three

  It was still dark when Hannah walked up the hotel stairs to reception to meet Lila for the Cornish Cream Tea Bus Secret Santa Tour. After the hilarious wrapping session the day before, which had warmed her to the core and ended with the promise of a Christmas full of laughter and fun, she had phoned her mum to let her know her plans had changed.

  It was never going to be an easy conversation, but she hadn’t been prepared for her mum’s vehemence. ‘There are five days to go, Hannah. You can’t just tell me you’re not coming – what will Mike and I do? What on earth could induce you to want to stay down in that place for Christmas?’

  ‘Lots of things! I’ve made friends, Mum, and they’ve invited me. It would be easier for me to get a train back after Christmas now. It’s better all round.’

  She’d listened to the silence, a hand against her chest, waiting for it to be over.

  ‘It’s nothing more than that?’ her mum had asked eventually.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘You’re not paying me back for not—’

  ‘Not telling me the truth?’ Hannah had said quietly.

  ‘I’m not going over this again. It’s obvious you want to punish me, and you’ve succeeded. We’ll talk about it when I see you. If you ever make it back here, that is.’ She’d hung up before Hannah had had a chance to reply.

  She had known her mum wouldn’t be pleased, and she did feel guilty about changing her plans so late, but had she also done it to get back at her? She hoped she was beyond behaving like that, but she couldn’t entirely separate the two things: her mum had refused to help, so why should Hannah go through their usual festive performance when her heart wasn’t in it? Of course, it would make things harder when she got home, but she wouldn’t think about that now.

  Hannah was going to live in the moment, and there were happier things to focus on now that she was looking forward to a Cornish Christmas. She had gone straight from the call with her mum to texting Noah:

  Don’t worry about coming to Porthgolow in the morning – I’m going to be on Gertie most of the day. How about coming to my friends’ Christmas on the 22nd? x

  Daniel had confirmed it was fine for Hannah to use the kitchen, but explained that Audrey was going home on the twenty-third, so if she wanted to include her – and Hannah did – she should have her dinner on the twenty-second. She had initially panicked at losing a day’s preparation time, but Daniel had told her to leave a list of the ingredients she needed, and he and Levi would sort it out together.

  Hannah had left her wording to Noah purposefully vague, and laughed at his prompt response.

  Very tempting, but not sure I’ll be back in Mousehole in time for Christmas if I come to Edinburgh with you, and you know my folks will kill me. Nx

  What about if it’s at Crystal Waters?

  She’d watched the dots dance across the screen before his reply had appeared.

  Seriously? You’ll still be here? Then I’m in, for sure! Send me the details. Nx

  She had done just that, then flopped on the bed, anticipation replacing the sadness of another difficult conversation with her mum. She would see Noah again. She tried to remember if there was any mistletoe hanging up in the snug.

  Charlie greeted her and Lila at the door of the Cornish Cream Tea Bus, her red apron on over a black-and-white striped jumper and jeans. She’d added white fluffy edging to the top of the apron, and was wearing a headband with reindeer antlers on. She had to bend in the doorway so she didn’t knock them off.

  ‘Welcome! Come aboard! Find accessories!’

  ‘Isn’t Gertie dolled up enough without us having to make the effort too?’ Lila asked.

  Charlie put her hands on her hips. ‘For someone whose actual job is playing make-believe, you’ve become very reluctant to dress up.’

  ‘I really haven’t,’ Lila said. ‘But it very much depends on what you want me to wear.’

  ‘White fluff on your apron, which is non-negotiable because I’ve already added it, and some other adornment. Mistletoe earrings? Or you can be a reindeer like me. Or sparkly.’ She held up some silver sparkly deely boppers with stars on the ends of the antennae.

  ‘I want those,’ Hannah said.

  Charlie handed them to her. ‘There you go. What about you, Lila?’

  ‘I’m going to be a reindeer,’ Lila said, with feigned reluctance. ‘Come on then – let’s get this Christmas party started.’

  ‘We have to wait for Santa.’ Charlie pointed in the direction of the pub.

  Hugh was strolling across the sand wearing a Father Christmas outfit. He was a slim man, and he’d clearly added some padding. His coat was brilliant red, his boots and belt-buckle glossy black. He wasn’t yet in the hat or the beard, and Lila made hurrying motions with her hands.

  ‘What is it?’ he asked, puffing as he joined them.

  ‘You can’t let anyone see you like that,’ Lila said. ‘You’ll give away the whole Santa Claus thing! What if a family was driving past? You could ruin their Christmas.’

  ‘Lila,’ Charlie laughed.

  ‘I’m serious,’ Lila said. ‘You have to be either full Santa or full Hugh. No in-between. Understood?’

  Hugh nodded. ‘Understood.’ He pulled on the white curly wig, complete with beard, and then a traditional Santa hat, with fur round the brim and an oversized bobble. The result was impressive. He caught Hannah’s eye and gave her a smile, his eyes crinkling at the edges. Hannah waggled her head in return, making the sparkly deely boppers bounce. She thought that, today, she might reach Peak Christmas.

  Charlie drove the bus to Penzance and they parked in the harbour car park, which had a breathtaking view over St Michael’s Mount, the sun cutting through banks of grey cloud to set the castle aglow and make the sea shimmer. The three of them took it in turns to manage the queue outside, serve snacks and drinks inside, or be Santa’s little helper.

  Hannah soaked up the Christmas spirit: the festive tunes playing from the bus’s speakers, the queue of eager families waiting to come on board, some of the children feverish with excitement at the promise of meeting Santa, their eyes wide with awe when they came back clutching their gifts. Hannah stood at the door, chatting to the people in the queue and helping tiny legs navigate the stairs. She got fresh air – which was at times a bit too bracing – and views over the harbour, and let the festivities consume her.

  ‘It’s nearly Christmas,’ said a young girl at the front of the queue, her hands held above her head by her dad, who already looked exhausted.

  ‘It is!’ Hannah matched her tone. ‘What are you most looking forward to?’

  ‘MEETING SANTA!’ she squealed, and her dad winced.

  ‘And you’re only minutes away,’ Hannah said, crouching down so she was on her level.

  ‘Have you met him?’ the little girl asked.

  ‘I work with him,’ Hannah said. ‘He’s really, really nice.’

  ‘Does he give you presents too?’

  ‘Of course. Santa gives everyone presents on Christmas Day.’

  ‘What about if you’re on the naughty list?’

  Her dad frowned. ‘You’re not on the naughty list, Maisie.’

  ‘Aren’t I, Daddy?’ She tipped her head back to look at him. ‘What about when I put Ben’s toy in the toilet? Nobody was very happy with me then.’

  Hannah watched Maisie’s dad struggle not to laugh. ‘That wasn’t very kind, Maisie, but it’s not enough to put you on the naughty list.’

  ‘What would be?’ she asked thoughtfully.

  Hannah and the dad exchanged a look: She’s smart, isn’t she? See what I have to deal with?

  He was saved from answering by the child before coming slowly down the stairs, his mum holding on to him and his gift. It was one Hannah had wrapped: she had used silver holographic ribbon to adorn her presents, and could tell from the shape that this was a snow globe. She wondered whether the boy would get to open it straight away, or wou
ld have to wait until Christmas Day.

  ‘My turn?’ Maisie whispered, after Charlie had given the boy and his mum their drinks and mince pies, and Hannah had said goodbye to them.

  ‘Your turn,’ she said. ‘Come on board Santa’s Christmas Cornish Cream Tea Bus! You get to go and meet him, then choose a cake on your way out. How about that?’

  Maisie jumped up and down and clapped, then gave her dad an angelic grin.

  ‘Thank you,’ he said. Hannah watched as he made Maisie walk up the stairs in front of him, his hands out ready in case she missed her footing.

  Charlie came to join Hannah. ‘I did wonder about making them go up and down the stairs, but there’s no way we could have had Santa down here. There’s not enough room.’

  ‘I think they like it,’ Hannah said. ‘It adds a sense of adventure and anticipation – what will they see when they get to the top? And most kids love stairs.’

  ‘The parents won’t thank me, but I did put it in bold font on the website.’

  ‘It’s all going swimmingly,’ Hannah said. ‘Don’t worry.’

  Above them, Lila laughed loudly. Hannah thought she was probably getting acquainted with Maisie.

  ‘What about you?’ Charlie asked. ‘How was your mum when you told her about Christmas?’

  Hannah wrinkled her nose. ‘Cross. But I’ve texted her since, and she’s replied without shouty capitals, which is a step in the right direction.’

  ‘I didn’t want to make trouble for you by offering.’

  ‘And if I hadn’t wanted to stay, or I thought it would cause too many problems, I wouldn’t have accepted. You can’t feel guilty because I’m changing my plans at the last minute – that’s down to me, and I’m so happy I get to spend Christmas with you in Porthgolow. It’s an extra silver lining to this whole experience.’

  ‘Oh for God’s sake,’ Charlie called from the driver’s seat. ‘What’s going on?’

  Hannah hurried up to the top deck, where Lila was already peering out of the front window, trying to see why the bus had come to a halt at the end of what they could only guess was a long queue leading into Mousehole. They were on a narrow, steepish road that led down to the harbour.