Shadows Over Wongan Creek

by Juanita Kees

  Will do.

  Missed u 2.

  He wanted to call her, to hear her voice, convince himself she was okay. He let his finger hover over the call button for a second. Bugger it. He hit the green icon and waited.

  ‘Hey.’ Her voice filled his senses and sent pleasant tingles down his spine.

  ‘Hey yourself. Everything okay? How did it go?’ Her long sigh in his ear made him wish he’d stayed with her after all.

  ‘Hard. A long day and night. I could identify more from the photos they showed me. Some of them were awful, Kieran. What that man did to her …’

  ‘I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I wish I could have stayed.’ Guilt flooded him. He hated that Fen had had to face this situation alone, that it had turned out to be far worse than the one she thought she’d left behind as a child.

  ‘It’s okay. I’ll be okay. They’ll catch Roach Sampson and he’ll pay. I have faith they will.’ Her voice echoed with hollow conviction, as if she couldn’t let herself believe that until it happened.

  ‘Riggs will make sure the cops do everything they can to make sure he does.’ He had to believe that too. ‘Lucky sends his love. Liam asked if he could get a Mrs Lucky for his birthday.’

  She laughed, the sound reaching in and tripping his heart. God, he loved the sound of her laugh. ‘I think we can arrange that as long as you can handle a dragon occupying space in the cottage.’

  He chuckled. ‘I might need you to hold my hand if we’re catching crickets for dinner.’

  ‘I wish you’d been there last night.’ Her voice softened, the words barely above a whisper. ‘It’s not over yet. Not until they can make an arrest. And until they can put Roach and Luke away, there is still a threat to us all. Are you prepared for that?’

  Kieran leaned on the fork. Liam played at his feet, drawing pictures in the soil with a stick. ‘If we don’t do this, it will never be over for you.’

  He wanted it to be over, for all of them. This pain, the memories, the pasts he wanted to box up and put away on a shelf in the dark and close the door on them forever. He wanted his son safe. He wanted Liv and Fen out of danger.

  ‘I’ll be home in a couple of hours and I’ll fill you in.’ She paused. ‘Kieran?’

  The way she said his name had his stomach contracting and heart pounding in turns. He wanted her home safe, not with a threat still hanging in the air. ‘Yeah?’

  ‘Can I stay with you tonight?’

  Indecision, confusion, heartache—it was all there in her voice, and he felt every emotion echo hers on its way through him. ‘What about Liv? Will she be okay on her own? Riggs stayed over last night to keep an eye on her.’

  She hesitated as in the distance the driver of a road train leaned on his horn. ‘He told me. He said he’d stay again tonight if I needed him to. Is it selfish of me to want to be with you?’

  The last words came out so softly he had to strain to hear them over the roar of blood in his ears. ‘Not selfish at all.’ Already his arms itched to hold her. All night if she wanted him too. ‘Barbecue okay?’

  ‘Perfect. See you soon.’ Her voice softened around the words.

  Warmth spread through him along with relief. Soon she’d be home safe with him. The words I love you played on his tongue, but it was way too soon to say them out loud. Not yet. Not until all the hurdles were down and all the ghosts were laid to rest. ‘See you soon.’

  ‘Say hi to Liam for me.’

  The warmth morphed to a glow. She really cared about his boy. ‘Fen says hi, mate.’

  ‘Hi, Fen. Can I feed Lucky? Can I?’

  ‘Did you hear that?’ Kieran laughed.

  ‘I did. Tell him yes, but to make sure Lucky gets some greens as well as crickets, okay?’

  ‘Maybe we can get a dog instead?’ He shivered against the personal ring to his words. Like they were in a long-term relationship. But they weren’t. Not yet. After tonight? Who knew?

  ‘And miss out on all the fun of watching you squirm over touching innocent creepy crawly creatures? No way.’

  ‘You’re a hard woman. Hurry home so you can deal with the crickets. I can handle the greens.’ Her chuckle made him think of everything else he’d like to handle that had nothing at all to do with pets and everything to do with bedsheets and soft sighs.

  ‘Toughen up, princess. I’ll be home by seven.’

  Suddenly, he didn’t want to hang up. He wanted this over. For all of them. So they could bury the past and move on to a future. So he could be free to fall in love with Fen again without feeling guilty, without Diane between them, and with the man who’d destroyed Fen’s life behind bars so he could never hurt her again.

  He wanted to keep her on the phone until the headlights of the police car lit up the access road to The Cranky Lizard. When he could open her door and help her out of the seat, kiss her hello while she stretched out the kinks of the long drive, then wrap her in his arms and keep her close all night.

  * * *

  The unmarked car pulled up in front of the main house a little after seven. Fen breathed a sigh of relief. The ghostly shapes of the bare vines rested in the valley against the star blanket above the Whispering Hills.

  If she turned from that view, she’d see the distant glow of the work lights that lit up the 24-hour working compound at Wongan Creek Mining. Across the road that led north, the construction machinery clearing Harry’s block for the new lifestyle village would be parked up for the night, rested until morning. It felt good to be home.

  Finally, she’d made progress. A full report to the police about her mother’s murder, a promise of protection from Beyond Hell’s Reach while the case was being re-investigated, all the bad memories that collected in her mind forever, now released.

  Liv opened the front door and walked out onto the verandah with Riggs striding along behind her. She took one look at the car and rushed down the steps. Liv threw open her arms and Fen got out the car to walk into her hug, holding on tight to the woman she’d always considered her mother.

  ‘Darling, you’re home. How did it go?’ Liv whispered into her hair, her hold firm and strong.

  Fen pulled back to kiss her mum’s cheek. ‘It’s been a rough night and day, but it’s for the best. I remembered everything. I’ve got a lot to tell you.’ She tried not to glance in the direction of the manager’s cottage where light glowed warm in the windows.

  Liv smiled and let her go. ‘Mmm, I can see you’re not going to settle until you’ve been up to the cottage. I’ve got some cupcakes freshly baked for young Liam. Kieran’s waiting for you. Go to him, darling. I understand you need to. Riggs has commandeered the use of the guest room. He’s overseeing the installation of the new security systems and setting up the monitoring while Kieran’s busy out in the blocks, so he’s staying a few nights. I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk.’

  Her mum had always understood the bond that had bound Fen and Kieran together, and Fen loved her even more for it. Antoinette had given her life, but Liv had made it worth living. Liv, Muzz, Kieran and now Riggs too. With them on her side, she’d always been able to face anything. ‘Thanks, Mum. And you too, Sarge.’

  Riggs patted her shoulder. ‘You did a very brave thing, Fenella, facing the truth and making a statement. I swear to you, we’ll catch these bastards.’

  ‘I hope you can do that before they do any more harm, Sarge.’

  ‘I’ll make sure of it. I’ll have a chat to these boys before they head into town for the night.’ He nodded to the two detectives still sitting in the car. They watched him walk to the open window and engage in handshakes and conversation.

  ‘I need to wash away the grime. Going back to that place felt so dirty. Nothing had been touched after the night of the murder.’

  ‘Oh, love, that’s awful, but probably for the best if it helped you remember. Are you okay?’

  ‘I’ll be fine. The appointed psych talked me through it and the detectives on the case have been amazingly understanding.
’ Fen wrinkled her nose and sniffed. ‘I never realised how much sweeter the air is out in the country compared to the city.’

  ‘Always sweeter and fresher.’ Liv hugged her tightly. ‘Go now. I’ll pack the basket for Liam while you freshen up.’

  ‘Thanks, Mum.’

  Liv touched her cheek with soft, gentle fingers. ‘It’s good to have you home safe, sweetheart. We will get through this.’ Her eyes were full of promise and hope.

  Fen prayed they would get through it alive as her mum led her up the stairs and into the house. With a mug of warm tea in her hand, she made her way to the bathroom to scrub away the smell of murder, lies and betrayal from her skin.

  Half an hour later, Fen made her way up the path to Kieran’s door. She tapped lightly on the glass panel that bled light onto the verandah. He didn’t make her wait long. The door swung open. Kieran balanced Liam on his hip with one arm and held the door open with the other.

  ‘Fen!’ Liam reached out with both arms and latched them around her neck as he launched himself from Kieran’s hold to hers.

  ‘Hey, little guy.’ Surprised, she swapped the basket for Liam’s weight and hugged him tightly. ‘You did a great job feeding Lucky for me. He’s a very happy, contented dragon tonight.’

  ‘I love Lucky.’ His plump, sticky hands cupped her face. ‘He ate three crickets. But I gave him veggies too. Just one.’

  ‘You did good. He’s asleep now. In a food coma.’ She grinned, whatever it was on Liam’s hands making her cheeks feel rubbery as they moved under his touch. Over Liam’s head, she looked at Kieran. ‘Hey.’

  He smiled and her heart skipped a beat. ‘Hey. You must be tired after … everything.’

  ‘I’m awake now.’ She wanted to step into his arms and be held, but some invisible barrier remained between them. A distance she couldn’t quite touch on. Liam yawned loudly. ‘Unlike you, little man. It’s a little past your bedtime, isn’t it?’

  ‘I waited for you.’ His curls brushed her cheek as he lay his head on her shoulder and cuddled into her.

  She tightened her hold, ignored the warning bells ringing in her mind for her not to get too attached, and hitched him closer. She’d have to be totally emotionless not to have her heart expand with affection for this kid. A child Kieran had raised virtually alone. A child like the one she’d once been, who’d survived trauma to come out the other side okay. More than okay.

  ‘That’s very sweet of you.’ She pressed a kiss to Liam’s baby-soft hair.

  Kieran cleared his throat and reached around her to close the door. ‘You’re letting the heat out, kids. Liam, let’s clean up in the kitchen and then we can do a bedtime story, okay?’

  ‘Can Fen come too?’ Liam’s voice came out on a sleepy sigh, muffled by her woollen jumper where he’d burrowed his face against her. ‘You smell nice.’

  Fen grinned. ‘Thank you, mate. So do you.’

  He smelled like honey, bath bubbles and tired little boy, like a bundle she wanted to cuddle every night before bedtime. It made her forget that her early childhood hadn’t been sweet. Gave her hope that maybe one day she’d have a baby of her own. With Kieran. And that scared her. Because she hadn’t let herself believe she could be the two-point-five-kids-and-a-dog type before.

  What if she sucked at being a mother? What if she caused a child of her own the same harm and emotional turmoil Antoinette had caused her? Her wrists itched for the first time since leaving the city. She realised she’d forgotten to put on the leather strips that soothed them. A step. A big step towards healing the harm caused by dark shadows, dirty corners and men bent on evil.

  Kieran’s hand at her back warmed her through as he eased her ahead of him up the hallway to the kitchen. ‘Of course she can, if she wants to.’ He stopped to look at her, a plea in his eyes.

  Fen searched his face, his eyes. He wanted her to stay, to be a part of that special time reserved for father and son. She wouldn’t trade that opportunity for anything. She wouldn’t hurt a boy already damaged by rejection, but she could stay and make him feel safe and loved, so she put that promise in her heart, returning his gaze. ‘I’d like that.’

  His smile came low and sexy, the last remnants of doubt clearing from his eyes like the clouds after the rain. ‘We missed you.’

  Liam hummed his agreement against her shoulder. ‘Yeah, Fen.’

  She turned into Kieran and pressed a hand to the warmth of his grey knitted jumper, holding his gaze and hoping that she conveyed what was in her heart with a good long look. ‘I’ve missed you both too.’

  ‘Let’s clean up,’ he said, covering her hand with his for a moment. Then he released it to tingle from his touch all the way to the kitchen.

  The kitchen table bore the fallout of a pre-bedtime snack. A jar of honey beside a Cranky Lizard logo mug half full of now cold milk. A golden crumpet with tiny toothy bites all around the outside circle lay half eaten on a plate.

  Fen smiled. ‘And here I was worried about feeding him fairy bread.’

  Kieran dropped the basket of cupcakes on a clear spot on the table. ‘Thank God he’s not the kind of kid who gets hyped up on sugar easily. Marge assures me the honey is at its most natural with no additional sugar added. The crumpets I’m not so sure about.’ He pointed to the wrapper. ‘Store bought.’

  Liam’s warm body relaxed against hers and the first sounds of softened breaths filled the space between them. ‘Doesn’t look like it will keep him awake.’

  Kieran pulled out a chair. ‘Sit with him while I clear this away. You have a magic touch, Fen. We might not make it to the bedtime story after all.’ His hand warmed her shoulder as she sat. ‘I think he’s in love with you.’

  Her heart did a little dance in time with the waltz of butterflies in her stomach. ‘He’s a cute kid. It’s hard not to love him back.’

  Shadows of pain crossed his face. ‘If only Diane had loved him that way.’

  Fen tried not to let the hurt Diane’s name caused show. Would Kieran ever let her rest? Would he ever be free to love again? ‘She loved him in her own way. Not all mothers love the same. It doesn’t mean they love any less.’

  Kieran turned away, picked up the washcloth he’d used to clean Liam’s face and rinsed it under the warm water of the kitchen tap. He returned to kneel next to her chair. ‘You’ve got sticky cheeks from Liam’s fingers.’ He wiped the honey streaks from her skin with gentle strokes, his face so close to hers she could see the hazel flecks in his green eyes, smell the scent of his shower soap. ‘All done. Your jumper will likely need a wash too.’

  ‘Stop fussing. It’s only a little bit of sticky. Nothing soap and laundry powder won’t fix.’ It hurt to know that something so simple could turn him inside out. Had Diane been that bad?

  He placed a hand on her arm. ‘Fen, I have something I need to tell you that’s been eating away at me for a long time. I’m just not sure the time is right with everything else going on, but maybe it is. Tomorrow everything could come crashing down around us and I’ll never have the opportunity again to tell you how I felt.’

  Her stomach hitched. ‘At this point in our lives, there is no right time for anything. If you have something on your mind, we need to get it out in the open. No more closed doors, Kieran. No more secrets hiding in the shadows.’

  His smile was grim. ‘You had a door you couldn’t open and I had one I couldn’t close.’ He let out a long breath and pinched the bridge of his nose as if to still a headache building behind his eyes. ‘Once, when things were bad with Diane, I started an email to you. I never finished it or sent it. I left it open on the screen of my laptop when I went to see to Liam. He was a newborn back then. She came in while I was busy settling him and saw it.’

  Fen chewed her lip hard. Diane’s insane jealousy had often tainted her and Kieran’s friendship, making him withdraw further and further as they’d got older. She could only imagine what Diane’s reaction would have been if she was already so emotionally distraught. Sympathy for her
nemesis pinched her heart. ‘Poor Diane. She wouldn’t have taken that well.’

  ‘An understatement. Her nails left scratches on my back when she launched at me, her rage out of control. I barely managed to keep my grip on Liam as she wrenched at my arms and yelled obscenities at me. Diane was a woman possessed that day. She threatened me. Accused me of all kinds of things. Of having affairs, and not just with you. It took some convincing that I hadn’t been seeing you behind her back. Nor did she believe that I had no intention of sending that email.’

  Fen’s throat closed over the ache of tears. ‘Oh, Kieran.’ So much hurt, so much pain, as if he hadn’t suffered enough.

  ‘She called me a liar, used every derogatory term in the dictionary, screamed and pounded at me, the walls, the windows, anything she could get her fists on, until the neighbours called the cops to report a domestic incident.’ He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes dark with the memories.

  ‘That’s awful.’

  ‘Yes, it was. I was blowing off steam in that email. It felt good to write it down even if I couldn’t tell you about it for real. To get it out of my head. Out of my way so I could concentrate on raising my boy and finding a way to get my wife back.’

  His pain and helplessness leeched through her. He couldn’t have known he wouldn’t succeed. The same way Antoinette couldn’t be saved from the life she’d chosen that caused her death. Because both Diane and Antoinette had been ill with a disease for which there was no cure, only medication.

  ‘It’s not your fault. Or hers. You tried to work with it, live around it, be the best husband and partner you could be to her.’

  His eyes, when they met hers, were sad. ‘All I succeeded in doing was to make her hate me even more. She told me that day she was going to drive off a cliff. I ignored it as an empty threat. She’d said those things before. Then she’d calm down, forget about it, and the roundabout of mood swings would start up again. I was caught up in a situation I couldn’t walk away from. Not when she was so sick and Liam’s life was in danger because of it. I did everything I could to protect everyone involved. I’d taken my vows. In sickness and in health.’