Shift (Anomaly Book 2)
Page 14
He had died down there trying to protect me, and there would be no heaven for us. I had failed him. If I was stronger, if I could have retained my power. I could have stopped the bullets and the attacks and I could have saved him…
I shouldn't have given up on my sister. I should never have left Lexa and Mars. Now they were all gone.
I wanted to scream or cry. I wanted to move, but I couldn't do anything. I just stayed quiet and limp in Cash's arms.
“Cash, we should go,” Charlie said gently, her voice quiet.
“The sun is gonna rise soon,” Glitch added, driving the point home. “And we need to get her help. She’s hurt bad.”
If they could feel me like I felt them, they would have known I was dying inside. I was beyond help. They would have felt me screaming inside and they would have done the right thing and put me out of my misery. As my body warmed, I started to feel the wounded, broken parts of me. My ribs ached, and each breath I took felt like my torso was full of broken glass.
Cash seemed unsure for a moment, as if debating whether to move me or not. I rested my head against his shoulder, my eyes on the lapping waves as they slid up onto the beach, pushing chunks of plaster and furniture toward us. I thought I recognized the back of a chair from one of the classrooms.
“Liv?” Cash murmured softly to me. I didn’t look up at him or say a word, but still he tried. “Liv, we’ve gotta go now, okay? Can you put your arms around my neck so I can carry you?”
It seemed like forever was passing between the movement of his lips and the passing of sound. I heard him speaking, but it was distantly, and the meaning behind his words was swallowed by the waves and my memories.
Cash took my hands into his and guided them around his neck. He molded my body to his, and cradled me as we walked away from shoreline. Over Cash's shoulder I stared out at the ocean, watching the black smoke drift over the horizon.
Chapter Fifteen
I bolted upright, screaming and gasping for air. I looked down at my shaking hands. I could still feel the ceiling scraping against my fingernails in those last seconds before the water took me.
"Liv, you're okay. I've got you." Cash was next to me, but it took a moment for me to actually see him; to stop fighting him.
"Jason? Mia?" I called out, still unable to catch my breath. Tears were pouring down my face. I kicked the blankets off of my legs, not wanting to feel anything holding me down. The bed was shaking with my power as it flew out of my body unchecked.
"Liv, it's me. You're okay. I'm right here." Cash's voice pushed inside of my head. It settled inside of me, and I felt my power receding. I focused on his voice and reigned it in. My heart and breathing slowed, and I was able to focus on Cash.
"There you go," Cash said in a slow exhale. He looked how I felt. Exhausted.
The worry I felt in his chest was thick and heavy, but I felt it dissipating as his eyes grazed over me, touching here and there.
"How do you feel?" He asked.
"Tired." My voice felt tight coming out.
"You've been out for a couple of days."
"Days?" I looked around the room. It was dark, save for the broken moonlight that streamed through the windows. It looked like a hotel room. "Where are we?"
"Huntington Beach. We drove straight here after it all happened, and we've been waiting for you to wake up."
"Mia?"
Cash's heart sank and I felt it before he said anything. "She never came back out."
"Why did you let her go back in there? I told you. I told you not to—"
"Liv. No, Liv, stop. I know. I'm sorry. We tried to stop her. She put up a wall of fire around the perimeter of the building, melted down the doors and went after you. Charlie was only able to get to you after the explosions went off." He swallowed hard and squeezed my shoulder in an effort to comfort me. "We looked for them. We couldn't find Mia or Jason."
"Jason's dead," I said quickly, wanting to get it out and over with.
Cash's chest ached for me. "I'm so sorry, Liv."
"Where is everyone else?"
"Your friend Jeri took off with that nurse chick he brought out. They went to meet up at the safe house with the people we evacuated, but he said it was best if we parted ways in case ACT knew about that too. He said he'd be in touch. Dozer and Glitch are sharing a room down the hall and Charlie has the kids in her room."
My heart sped up. "Bebe?"
"Don't worry, she's totally fine. She wouldn't leave you, so we just brought her with us. She's been worried about you. She just lays next to you all day, curling your hair in her fingers." He laughed, quiet amazement filling him. "She's probably the cutest thing on two legs. She healed you on the drive and knocked out the second she was done. I've never seen anything like that."
My heart swelled. "Thank you for keeping her with me. I don't think I could lose anyone else." I pulled my knees into my body and wrapped my arms around them. When I blinked, twin trails of hot tears streaked down my cheeks.
Cash reached out and cupped my cheek. His thumb swept over my skin and wiped them away. I slipped my arms around him. He seemed unsure at first, and didn't touch me. He just stayed still as I cried.
"I just want to stop feeling this way. I want it to stop. Please make it stop," I sobbed over and over, burying my face in Cash's chest.
Slowly, his arms came around me and he pulled me into him. I could feel the rhythmic stroke of his hand against the back of my hair, smoothing it over and over again, the other hand rubbing my back comfortingly.
Then I heard his voice.
Cash began to sing a soft sweet lullaby, distracting me from the pain. He was nervous at first, but as my sobs slowed, he gained confidence. His timbre became stronger, more sure.
The tears tapered and then ceased altogether as I listened to him sing, wrapping his voice around me like a comforting blanket, focusing on the words instead of my pain. His voice was meditative, pulling me into a place where I felt safe and quiet and untouchable. My muscles calmed and I relaxed in his arms.
Sleep tugged at me again and with his voice to comfort me, I allowed myself to feel at peace; at least for that moment. There was no death in that moment, no struggle. There were no ruined futures, no broken hearts. Hawthorn never existed.
It was just the two of us.
Listening to the beat of Cash's heart and the sound of his voice, I fell asleep in his arms.
Chapter Sixteen
Charlie smeared sunscreen on Headset’s face. Dozer and Cash tended to the barbecue while Glitch flailed about in the ocean. I held Bebe’s hand as she ran from the approaching surf. Her dainty bare feet barely touched the water as it pushed in and out. She laughed giddily as the sea foam bubbled and tickled her toes. I steered clear of the approaching surf. The idea of the cold water made my heart pound uncomfortably as panic set in.
It had been three months since the night Hawthorn collapsed into the ocean. After Charlie pulled me out of the water, we all piled into the Beast and just drove. As of that night, we were nomads again.
Bebe healed my body, but my head was going to need a lot more work. I may have looked brand new on the outside, but inside, I was just as wrecked as the lighthouse.
They're safe, I thought as I watched them on the beach. At least the Nomads were safe.
I should’ve been content with that, but something was still wrong. The sun sat high in the sky and the waves crashed along the shore as they always had. I was the only thing that had changed. I could feel it building inside me; a slight pressure, and a twinge of anger boiling beneath the surface.
It was part of me now.
“Livi?” Bebe looked up at me with bright eyes.
“Yes, Bebe?” I said, sweeping her up into my arms.
“Are you sad?”
I didn’t want to tell her. I wanted to pretend everything was all right, but it wasn’t. Nothing was. How do you tell that to a four year old? How do you tell her that it’s a constant struggle just to keep breathing a
fter everything that happened?
You don’t. You lie.
“Is it because we lost them?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“I was sad when you were gone.”
“I know.” I hugged her closer. “I know and I’m so sorry, Bebe. I'm never going to leave you again.”
“You know what Jason said to me when you were gone and I was sad?”
“No, what did he say?”
“He said that everything was going to be okay because I still had him.”
I closed my eyes and tried to keep myself from falling apart.
“You don’t have to be sad that Jason is gone because you still have me.”
“Okay, baby doll. I won’t be sad anymore.” That was all I needed. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. “Everything is going to be alright.”
And as her little arms came around my neck and hugged me close, and the Nomads thrived and played around us, I almost believed it would be.
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