The Summer of Consent

by Jayne Marlowe

  “No, it’s...I’m going to be leaving in a few weeks.” It wasn’t a complete lie, but it wasn’t exactly the truth, either. She laughed softly. “Too bad we didn’t hook up earlier this summer.”

  When you could have spared me a whole lot of shit and grief, she wanted to add.

  “We can make up for lost time.”

  She shook her head. “That wouldn’t be fair to you. I got so much to do between now and when I leave....”

  Rory groaned and slumped against the tree, hanging his head down. When he raised it again, he smiled and stroked her arm.

  “I guess this is what they call a ‘teachable moment.’” He chuckled. “Coach Levin always tells us that you should never hesitate and let fear stop you.”

  “Fear? Of what?”

  “Rejection, of course.”

  This time it was her turn to chuckle. She moved closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. “Rory, girls are easier than you think.”

  “Nah, I doubt it. Not someone like you.”

  “What do you mean, ‘someone like me?’”

  “Classy. Smart.”

  Gloria hoped he couldn’t see her grin.

  “Rory, sometimes we’re the easiest of them all.”

  Nate took his TV dinner out of the oven, put it on a tray, and carried it into the living room. Six months ago, doing this on a Friday night would have been normal, standard operating procedure. But these days, it was odd and unnatural.

  Amazing what a difference three months can make.

  Ironically, his friend Dave called him up just before he left the office saying they were all meeting at Chubby’s Sports Bar to watch the baseball game, and how they hadn’t seen Nate all summer and he needed to come on. He was tempted, but his self pity overruled his reason, so he gave his friend a bullshit excuse.

  “Maybe this time next week, though,” he had said. “The summer term is almost over, and I’ll have a little time before classes start again.”

  It wasn’t until he had said it out loud that it hit him.

  The term was almost over.

  Soon, Gloria would be gone and he’d have a lot more than spare time to deal with. He’d also have a huge hole in his heart too.

  Dinner done, he should’ve got in his car and meet the gang at the bar. Instead he turned on his computer and started going over the most recent chapters Gloria had typed, checking them for typos and omissions. He shook his head in amazement. That girl could type.

  Most kids her age could “type” an extensive phone text using text speak in seconds flat, but that wasn’t typing. They’d be lucky to type the thirty-five words-per-minute he could barely do. Gloria could do more than twice that with few errors.

  This time when he shook his head, it was to erase the thought of Gloria from his mind. That would never happen. She was out there somewhere with the star hunk football player, a kid younger, stronger, and more handsome than Nate ever was.

  Yet the idea of Rory’s lips or hands touching Gloria—

  “For fuck sake, Nate, get a grip.”

  He rolled his neck and shrugged his shoulders to ease the pent-up tension. Ever since Jill showed herself to be the evil cunt he always suspected her to be, he’d been having headaches.

  Then there was the deadline for the manuscript, final exams to prepare, and Gloria’s imminent departure out of his life. With all this shit swirling around in his mind, he only managed to work for fifteen minutes, which wasn’t work at all. It was fifteen minutes of staring at his computer screen.

  He got up from his desk and dimmed the lights. On his way to the sofa, he detoured through the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of whiskey he’d bought on his way home. Stretched out on the sofa, the bottle of Johnnie Walker Black beside him on the floor and a nearly full whiskey glass balanced precariously upon his chest, he grabbed the remote and turned on his stereo.

  The playlist was already cued up, full of songs to suit his mood, and when Gerry Rafferty’s “Bring It All Home” began, it struck a chord in several ways. Nate could believe his love for Gloria was like sinking to the bottom of the sea because it was doomed from the start, but he wanted her all the same. She stood in the wings of a new stage in her life while he was snugly ensconced in his career. She had mapped out her path. When he was her age, he only had a vague idea of what he wanted to do with his life.

  Going to college had been a given, but he’d had no clue what he wanted to do. He didn’t discover his talent for teaching until he led a study group during his sophomore year in college. Gloria had a vision, and he hoped with all his heart that it came to fruition, regardless of the lacklustre grade he’d given her.

  He rubbed his eyes. So much for believing your own hype. Jesus, if he was the smart, caring teacher everyone said he was, then why didn’t he recognize her struggling and do more to help? Tutored her?

  No, not tutor.

  Hell, talk about hindsight. If he’d tutored her when she was his student, knowing her like he did now, chances are he’d be facing criminal sex charges and not just the threat of disgrace and loss of reputation their May-December romance presented.

  Why should he be annoyed—pissed—that Gloria went out with Rory? It was probably the best thing that could happen to her now. They were practically the same age and had more right to be together than she and Nate did. And he had to admit that no matter how alluring and mature Gloria was, she was still a kid compared to him.

  Chronologically speaking, anyway.

  He tried to remember what was on his mind at that age, and he shivered. Yes, Gloria was going to get laid tonight, and he didn’t know which thought bothered him more: that it would be Rory getting the privilege of fucking her or that she would allow him to fuck her at all.

  He took a long sip of whiskey and grimaced as it went down, listening to the clock on the mantelpiece chime ten o’clock.

  Gloria, Rory, and the others were probably just getting out of the first movie. Their night had just begun.

  He sighed. No use moping about the inevitable. May as well get back into the routine his life had before Gloria came along and upset his entire world. He sat up and picked up the bottle.

  Time for bed.

  People regard Monday mornings as being shit, but this one really was. Not only was it the start of the last week of class, and therefore crunch time with finals and grades, but the days Gloria and Nate had together were literally numbered. To make matters worse, their attitude toward each other continued to take a nosedive.

  Usually on a Monday, they would arrive at roughly the same time. They had decided weeks earlier that arriving together in his car would cause too much speculation, so Gloria would take the bus to work. But since their blowout, Gloria made sure to arrive and leave work before Nate, thereby eliminating his driving her and the embarrassment of either his offering and being rejected, or her asking and being rebuffed.

  Things didn’t get off to a good start when Gloria arrived.

  “You’re late.”

  Gloria raised her head to see Nate standing behind his desk, glaring at her while stacking papers and folders in a pile.

  “Yes, I am,” she said sarcastically. “Thanks.”

  “I’m sure I don’t have to remind you just how hectic this week is going to be,” he said.

  He pressed his lips into a grim frown, and she couldn’t help but notice the dark circles under his eyes made even more noticeable by his abnormally pale face that lacked its usual healthy glow. She was about to ask if he was feeling OK but he spoke first.

  “Please be on time tomorrow. There’s a lot of typing you need to catch up from when you were sick, and I can’t afford to have you let me down now.” He picked up his stack of papers. “I’ve arranged to have the final exams take place in the library. I don’t want your printing or your work disturbing the students.”

  She bit her lip in frustration, determined not to mouth off. The last forty-eight hours had been more than a little emotional, so she was not in the moo
d for anyone’s shit. Nate headed for the door, but not before hurling a parting shot from over his shoulder.

  “And if Rory Stewart should drop in while I’m out, you might want to let him know that you expect to work late this week.”

  Gloria stood there, mouth agape. Now that was uncalled for. He sounded—not like her father who couldn’t give a damn—but Michael when he tried to pull rank and adopt that stern father-knows-best tone, trying to tell her what to do. As if.

  She scowled at the space he vacated, stomped to her desk, and threw her bag inside the bottom drawer.

  Sliding into her seat, she rested her arms on the desk and cradled her head in her hands.

  “I don’t need this, I don’t need this, I don’t. Need. THIS!”

  Her right arm lashed out and swept everything in its way onto the floor: notepad, pen and pencil set—even the snow globe paperweight Nate bought her the last time they spent the weekend in the mountains.

  The sight of it scattered with everything else on the floor brought tears to her eyes, but she refused to let them fall, so she wiped them. It didn’t stop the sigh that resembled a sob from leaving her, though.

  All she ever wanted was to be grown and in charge of her own life without adults who cared nothing about her telling her what to do.

  After living her life this past year, she now knew being grown up was overrated. What she really wanted was the chance to be a normal kid with friends and a functioning family...and boyfriends that were her age.

  She shook her head and closed her eyes. She’d gotten what she’d wanted, alright. Got the man of her dreams, the boyfriend she never expected, and she even managed to live to become a legal adult.

  But there was no going back now. For better or worse, no amount of crying would change the mess she had made with her life because she thought she was grown.

  She hadn’t realized it until she opened her eyes, but at some point she had lowered her head and clasped her hands together in prayer fashion. She didn’t care.

  At this moment, she’d take strength from anyplace and anyone willing to give it.

  Nate washed down three Ibuprofen with a swig of water. Weekends boozing and staying drunk in a lame ass attempt to banish the pain of yet another failed relationship do not work. It didn’t work in college or during his divorce, so why should it work now?

  If that weren’t enough, there was the realization that he may have wrecked his career as well as a young girl’s prospects because he believed his own hype. He used to relish being the “cool” teacher, the one the boys admired and the girls lusted for, especially on days when teaching was a grind, but it was all bullshit.

  His job—his purpose—was to teach and shepherd these kids by using knowledge and being a role model as a goddamned responsible adult, not some teenager’s wet dream.

  Watching the room full of students with their heads down, taking their final exams, made him think. This final was for his remedial students, and Gloria would have been in one of them during the summer of her junior year. The grades these students got in this class were going to determine their fate in the upcoming year.

  Gloria.

  He didn’t mean to snap at her when she arrived, but then again, he didn’t mean to have a fucking hangover on a Monday morning, either. He shook his head. Now was the time for him to be the adult he was supposed to be. He couldn’t blame Gloria for being such a damn fine worker, gifted student....

  And the beautiful, barely legal girl he’d come to love.

  Visions of Gloria naked in bed flashed in his head, and he closed his eyes at the image. No. He had to stop thinking of her that way. She had her future ahead of her and didn’t need the consequences of his lack of manners preying on her mind.

  The next time he saw her, he was going to apologize, take her to lunch, and try to get them back on platonic terms in the time they had left. He would be her friend. It would be a difficult consolation prize to accept, but it was all he should have been in the first place.

  The squeaky beep of the timer on his cell phone went off.

  “Alright everyone, pencils down. Your time is up.”

  As the students filed past the desk he had claimed at the front of the room, he studied the faces of his pupils: some were confident, smiling, while others wore poker faces in an attempt to mask their uncertainty.

  Nate kept the mood light and bantered with them all, smiling—but not his “trademark smile” as he knew people called it. Most of them had struggled all summer, but he was pleased with the progress they’d all made. He was certain that, unless someone suffered a severe case of test anxiety, they would all pass.

  “I’m proud of you guys,” he said to them after they all went back to their seats. “You worked really hard this summer, and I want to give each of you a little something in return. Not like the gift of education isn’t enough.”

  He paused for the expected groan from his audience—and wasn’t disappointed.

  “Hopefully this will be the last time you have to sacrifice your summer to make up a class.” He cast a stern look across the room and tried not to chuckle when a few of them squirmed. “Nevertheless, should you need help when classes start again, remember that my office is—always...open....”

  The irony of his words made him trip over his speech but he played it off by going into his soft-sided briefcase and pulling out a bundle of small envelopes.

  “Here’s your ticket to freedom. Once you get your gift, class is dismissed.”

  The kids came up. Most of them opened their envelope before leaving the room and smiled at its contents, giving him the thumbs-up or shouting out a thanks. It’s amazing what a free drink at Starbucks can do. Although it cost him more than he’d usually budget as a treat for students, for Nate, he considered it money well spent.

  By the time Nate returned to his classroom, his headache was gone. He was even whistling. “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life,” in fact.

  He entered the office to see Gloria standing by the stacks near her desk, taking inventory of the textbooks the students had turned in before taking the final. When she turned to look at him, he didn’t expect to see her with swollen, red eyes and puffy, tear-stained cheeks. He knew she was upset with him, and had every right to be, but it tore straight to his heart to see her cry.

  He threw everything he carried onto the sofa and rushed over to her, but stopped short. After recent events, he didn’t know if he should touch her or not, which was ironic considering what he’d been doing to her all summer.

  “Gloria?...Gloria, what’s wrong?”

  “Nice to see you in a good mood again.” She resumed counting books ignoring that he’d never spoke.

  He took away the clipboard she held and tossed it on his desk. “Please, Gloria, tell me what’s the matter.”

  “Nothing.”

  His sarcastic laugh was out before he could stop it and quickly regretted it when her expression went from aloof to angry in an instant.

  “I’m sorry...I didn’t mean that.”

  “Didn’t you?”

  Nate rubbed the back of his neck, trying to find the right words. “Listen, Gloria, I’m sorry for my behavior lately. First I was pissy because of the Brittany accusation, and then I’ve been taking my frustration out on you ever since Rory Stewart asked you out.”

  Gloria’s eyes seemed to dim for a second, yet it was long enough for him to notice.

  “How was your date, by the way?”

  He was trying to break the ice between them, but the words sounded contrived even to him. Such an innocent question on the surface but loaded enough to make her bite her lip and turn away.

  Wrong! he wanted to shout. Her reaction didn’t sit well with him, at all, and he was going to get answers whether she wanted it or not.

  “Gloria? Did something happen Friday night? Did Rory do—”

  He couldn’t bring himself to voice his suspicion, so he took her gently by the shoulders and made her look up at him.

/>   “Tell me, Gloria. Tell me what happened.”

  This time he didn’t care if he sounded like the jealous boyfriend because, goddamn it, he was! He was totally jealous of that hot little punk of a football stud getting anywhere near his Gloria, let alone attempting to—

  She shook her head so vehemently that it caused a few tendrils to escape from the hair clasp at the nape of her neck. But what startled him was feeling a few drops of something wet hit his wrist.

  She was crying and spraying him like a windshield wiper out of control. He grabbed her head between his hands before she did herself an injury whipping around.

  “Gloria,” he said softly, his voice strained and full of emotion. “Tell. Me.”

  “We didn’t do anything but kiss a few times,” she said so timidly it was as if all the life drained out of her. Again, seeing her so defenceless and broken ripped at his heart.

  “Then what is it, Gloria? Did something happen today? Is that why you were late?”

  “I’m late,” she said between sobs, “because I am late.”

  “What do you—”

  “I’m pregnant!”

  “I knew it.”

  Startled, they jumped away from each other and turned to see Jill, leaning against the door jamb, arms folded across her chest, and a giant smirk across her face.

  “Now is not the time, Jill!” said Nate, not bothering to keep the irritation out of his voice.

  “We couldn’t hear you come in this time,” Gloria said. “Maybe you should get a job as a spy for the CIA.”

  Nate was surprised at the sudden change in Gloria’s attitude. There was an edge in her tone he’d never heard from her before that suggested a warning. Unfortunately, it didn’t discourage Jill from coming farther into the office.

  “If anyone’s going to be looking for a job, it’ll be your lover man, Gloria. How does it feel to know that you—of all people—are behind the social suicide and professional disgrace of a talented, much-beloved educator?”

  The sound of Jill’s hollow chuckle was sandpaper on his nerves. He looked down and noticed that he had balled his hands into fists.