Only One Kiss

by Madison, Natasha

  “Yes, I put it on her just before we left the house.” He takes his hat off, scratching his head, and then places his hat back down. He looks at Ariella and smiles. “Are you ready to go outside and meet everyone, beautiful girl?” he asks her, and I swear my ovaries just combusted. He reaches for her as she calls his name. “Are you coming out?” he asks me, and all I can do is smile and nod my head.

  He walks past me and goes outside just as Zara comes back inside. “What are you doing in here?”

  “Who the fuck is that?” I ask, pointing at the door, then putting my hands on the counter. She looks at me as I try to get my head back on straight.

  “That’s Ralph,” she says, then she looks out the door and then turns to look back at me. “Oh, no, no, no, no.”

  “What?” I ask her, not sure what the hell she is going on about.

  “You can’t go there, especially not with him.” She points at the door.

  “Oh, God, is he still with the mother?” I put my hand in front of my mouth. “I would never.”

  “Candace.” She says my name, and I don’t know what I’m expecting her to say, but what I definitely was not expecting was the next sentence. “His wife died in childbirth,” she says softly and leaves me here in the middle of my kitchen looking outside at him. My heart just sinks thinking about the baby girl in his arms without a mom. I watch as Justin sees him and comes over right away with Zara and Caroline following suit.

  Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I walk out of the house. “Look at the big guy with a baby,” Justin says. “Shit, have you met Candace?” He motions to me.

  I smile at Ralph. “We met when she answered the door,” he says, and then I watch Caroline take Ariella and then pass her to Zara. I walk over to the table to sit down and take a sip of water. Maybe I’m just dehydrated, I think to myself.

  “You three should take a picture,” I say, looking over at Justin as he stands with Evan and Ralph.

  “Put Ralph in the middle and somehow make a joke about ‘turf war.’” I pop a strawberry in my mouth.

  Evan shakes his head. “My sister’s always working.” He looks at Ralph. “She’s a social media expert.”

  “Really?” Ralph says, then looks over at me.

  “Oh, yeah,” Justin says. “She’s the best. You should hire her.” He slaps Ralph on the shoulder. Ralph looks at me like he wants to say something, but instead, he turns back and starts talking to Justin.

  Zara comes over and sits next to me at the table. “I know that look,” she says softly, grabbing a water bottle and bringing it to her mouth for a drink. Looking out into the backyard, I wish I had shades on to shield how I’m watching Ralph. He’s holding Ariella again, as she just looks around, taking in all the commotion.

  I turn to look at Zara. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “I mean you are looking at him in a way that you’re curious, and that can only lead down a road and path I don’t think you want to go down.” She puts her hand on my arm and squeezes it. “It’s just . . .”

  I swallow over the lump in my throat and get up. “I need to go to the bathroom.” I walk away from her and step into the house. “She’s right,” I say to myself. “Nothing good can come of this.”

  Chapter 4

  Ralph

  Ari smiles almost the whole day as she gets passed from one person to the next until she’s over it, and now she just wants me. She starts to get a bit cranky, and then she goes from zero to a hundred in point three seconds. I shake my head and look around to ask Candace if I can go inside, but I can’t find her anywhere, and Ari’s cries are only going to get louder.

  Getting up, I walk into the cool house and come face-to-face with Candace standing in the middle of the kitchen writing something on a piece of paper. When she looks up, I try not to stare at her too much. Fuck, she’s so fucking gorgeous. She took my breath away the minute I walked in, and just having that reaction to her made me feel uneasy.

  “Hey,” she says. Flipping her ash blond hair over, she stands up straight, and her shirt rises just a bit, showing a sliver of her stomach. “Is everything okay?” She drops her pen, and her blue eyes just pop even more. Walking around the counter, she comes to us as Ari screams bloody murder. She brings her hand to Ari’s cheek. “What is all this fuss, pretty girl?” she asks her softly, and Ari stops crying, just looking at her. Ari looks at me and then back at Candace, forgetting she is hungry.

  “She wants a bottle,” I say to Candace. Her eyes come to mine, and I quickly look at Ari. “Do you think you can hold her while I get the bottle going?”

  “Hold this little angel?” she says, grabbing Ari from me who then decides this is a bad idea and wails at the top of her lungs. I’m waiting for her to pitch Ari back to me, but instead, she starts bouncing her up and down and walking away from me.

  Looking over her shoulder, she says, “I’ll try to keep her busy by walking around the house and showing her things.” I don’t say anything to her as she walks away. Instead, I stand here for a good three seconds, wondering what the fuck is going on. I also listen to see if Ari is going to continue her fit, but she’s settled substantially, and all I hear are whimpers of irritation. Walking to the fridge, I grab a bottle, then head to the sink and run the bottle under the hot water. I continue to listen for her, but I don’t hear her, and when the milk is warm enough, I go looking for them.

  Heading down the hallway, I’m not sure where I’m going and don’t want to walk into a room I shouldn’t. “And this, right here is my second client I ever got.” I hear Candace’s voice. “He was a hard one, but I finally got him on track,” she continues, and I stand in the doorway of what is an office. Her back is to me, so she doesn’t see me standing here. Ari has her head on her shoulder as she chews on her pacifier, listening to everything that Candace says. “This is my girl Zoey.” She points at the picture of baby Zoey smiling at the camera. “She’s my favorite,” she whispers to Ari. “Don’t tell anyone.” She leans down and kisses her cheek. It’s then that she looks over and sees me. “Hey there, is the bottle ready?” When she turns, I can’t say anything to her, so I just hold up the bottle in my hand.

  She walks over to me. “I was going to use the bathroom if that’s okay before I feed her.” She holds out her hand for the bottle.

  “I can start feeding her, and then you can take over,” she says, tilting her head to lay her cheek on Ari’s head. “I mean, if that’s okay.” She waits for me to answer, and I just stand here watching her and wondering if this is how Cassie would have been. After I hand her the bottle, I turn to walk away before I say something to make her think I’m a fucking creep.

  Turning, I walk down the hallway, peeking in doorways until I find a bathroom. I go in and sit down and close my eyes. Fuck, what the hell is going on? I take my hat off and toss it on the bathroom counter, putting my head down. I wait for my heart to slow down before getting up and turning on the cold water. Maybe I’m having a heatstroke. I cup my hands under the water and splash it on my face three times. Grabbing the towel, I dab my face with it and ignore looking at myself in the mirror. I can’t even stand myself right now. The last thing I need is to look at any woman that way or even want anyone. This was not for me. Picking up my hat, I open the door, going straight to the family room where I expect Candace and Ari to be. When I don’t see her on the couch, I look outside where the party is still in full mode. The men are all in the pool supervising the kids as they jump in while the women sit together talking and laughing. Turning, I walk back into the house, trying again not to look around where I shouldn’t when I hear her voice again. I walk back to the office, but she isn’t there, and when I hear her voice again, and I walk to the other room, I’m shocked that it’s a room for a baby. A white crib is pushed against a white wall, and huge pink flowers painted on the right wall look so real. I look around and see that she’s sitting in a rocking chair as she holds the bottle. She watches Ari while she rocks, and then she must feel me looki
ng at her because she looks up. “Hey,” she says softly. “She’s out like a light.”

  “Is she still drinking?” I ask, walking into the room and feeling my feet sink into the white plush rug. “This carpet is so soft.”

  “I had three layers of padding added,” she says. “In case Zoey decided to climb out of the crib and fall.” I look around the room and see that there are pictures of Zoey everywhere.

  “I have a confession to make,” I finally say awkwardly, and she just looks at me as she rocks my child in her arms.

  “Okay,” she says softly, her voice probably staying low in order not to startle Ari.

  “I know who you are.” The words come out a little bit harsh, and the look on her face is confusion and shock. “I mean, not like I know who you are I’m secretly stalking you,” I say, and when her face still doesn’t change, I know I literally sound like a creep. I take my hat off and laugh as I scratch my head and pull my hair. “Okay, I’m going to start over.”

  She chuckles now. “Okay.” She smiles. “Why don’t you go back out and then come back in again, and we can start over?” I don’t know if she’s joking or not, and I already fucked this up more than I should have, so I turn and start to walk out of the room, and she laughs louder now. “Stop. I was kidding.” I turn around as she takes the empty bottle out of Ari’s mouth and holds it in her hands. “So you know who I am?”

  “No.” I think of the words to say. “I mean, I’ve heard of you.” She stares at me still. “I seriously am going to stop talking right now. I just want to say I’ve heard of you through a couple of people. All good.”

  “Well, thank you,” she says. “I think.”

  I look down at them, and my head is just swimming right now. “Do you want me to take her?”

  “Nah.” She looks down and rubs her cheek with her finger. “I love this.”

  “You’re a natural,” I say, and she looks up.

  “I can’t wait until it’s my time,” she says, her whole face lighting up, and it’s at that point I know that I can never ever do anything with her. “I just need to fall in love, and you know, get married and all that jazz.”

  “So, traditionalist?” I scratch the scruff on my face, ignoring the burning in my stomach.

  She shrugs. “Not really, but I want the white dress and the whole wedding. I want to have a house with a white picket fence. I want the fairy tale that I’ve always read about.” Her eyes glitter, and then she stops talking. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean . . .”

  I hold up my hand to stop her. “Please don’t.” I shrug, not saying another word. “I was actually going to get going,” I say, lying. “I want to make sure that she takes a bath and sticks to her routine.” I wonder what story she heard, and who she heard it from. I mean, it’s not a secret that Cassie died in childbirth since it was all over the media. I just know from one person to the other, stories change, and I wonder what story she heard. I swallow down the lump in my throat, thinking to myself that no one knows the real story. No one knows me, for that matter.

  She gets up, holding Ari to her chest. “Do you want to go say goodbye before you take her?” she asks, and I wonder why I didn’t think of that before I said I was leaving.

  “Yeah, that sounds good,” I say and turn around, leaving her. I walk outside, hearing someone laugh and then suddenly see Zara try to hide behind Evan who just looks at someone else. I walk over to Justin who stands with his arm around Caroline as she slips her arms around his waist as they talk to his parents. “Hey,” I say, and they look at me. “I’m going to get going. Candace has Ari, and she’s sleeping so . . .”

  “Aw, man, already?” Justin says. “How about we meet up before I leave town?”

  “I’d love it,” I say, and five minutes later, I’ve said goodbye to everyone. I walk in, getting the diaper bag. I find Candace walking back and forth at the front door, and she looks up.

  “I can take her,” I offer.

  “I don’t want to wake her,” she says and opens the door. “I can put her in the car seat, but you should start the truck beforehand, so she doesn’t sweat,” she suggests. I walk out of the house to the truck and start it, opening the door to air out the interior. After a minute, Candace comes out and smiles at me.

  “Do you know how to put her in?” I ask, and she looks at the seat and nods.

  “I have the same one in my car.” She leans in and holds Ari’s head while she places her gently in the seat. Ari’s eyes open and then close again as she straps her in and brings the seat belt up to the middle of her chest. She shuts the door. “She should be out for a while since she finished the whole bottle,” she says, handing me the empty bottle.

  “Thank you,” I say, grabbing the bottle from her. “For having us and for putting her to sleep.”

  “It was my pleasure.” She smiles and then nods her head and walks back into her house, leaving me in the middle of her street watching her. She gets to her door, then turns around and waves before walking into the house. I hop in my truck, put my glasses on, and take myself home.

  I don’t think of her again for the rest of the night. That’s a lie. I think about her when I’m giving Ari a bath, and when I ask her how she liked meeting everyone. She plays with her brush as I blow raspberries on her stomach. “Did you like all the kids? Did you like meeting Justin and Caroline?” I ask, skipping Candace as Ari moves her hands up and down, and yells at me with a gummy smile.

  After putting her pjs on and combing her brown hair to the side, I ask, “Are you ready for your bottle?” Walking to the kitchen with her on my hip, I warm her bottle and then head back to her room to read her a book. We have the same routine every night. I grab the book and notice the pages are already starting to fray. When I finish the last word in the story, I look down and see the bottle is coming out of her mouth. I get up and place her on her back in the middle of the crib. Her head falls to the side, and ignoring the voice in the back of my head, I count my blessings that I have her in my life.

  “Good night, Angel,” I say, and then right before I walk out of the room, I look over at the wall where Cassie’s picture is. “I’m sorry, Cass,” I whisper, walking away.

  Chapter 5

  Candace

  I lock the door behind Evan and Zara, then walk back to the bedroom to make sure that Zoey is still sleeping. I wish I could crawl into bed after a nice shower, but I know that if I do that, I’ll only be thinking about the mess waiting for me in the kitchen.

  Walking back into the kitchen, I see that Caroline and Zara put away as much as they could, so I clean up the rest of the mess. As I’m putting the stuff away, I notice the baby bottles in the fridge. I smile as I pick up a bottle, then walk over to my phone and send Justin a text.

  Me: Hey, by any chance do you have Ralph’s number? He forgot his baby bottles here.

  Pressing send, I walk back to Zoey’s room and hear her soft snore. I turn on the baby monitor and carry it with me into my room. I take a quick shower, and when I’m drying off, my phone beeps. Looking down, I see that it’s a text from Justin.

  Justin: I just texted him so I’ll let you know what he says.

  Me: Sounds good.

  I put the phone down and slide into my big bed, and I’m about to fall asleep when I hear Zoey call for me. I get up and walk to her room, seeing her standing in her crib. “What’s the matter, Angel?” I ask, picking her up. “Do you want to sleep in my big bed?”

  “Yeah,” she says, putting her head on my shoulder. When I walk back into my room, I make a whole pillow wall on the side of the bed and then get the kid rail from my closet and slip it on to make sure she doesn’t fall off. She sleeps all over the bed, and when I get kicked in the face, I groan and open my eyes. Looking over, I see the sun starting to peek in, so I lie still for a bit, wondering if I’m going to go back to sleep. But I know I won’t, so I get up and quietly make my way down to the kitchen. Starting the coffee, I open all the blinds, then walk to my office and grab my laptop
and agenda. I peek in to make sure Zoey is still okay and put pillows on the other side of her where I was sleeping, and she doesn’t budge. Once I make my cup of coffee, I open my laptop and start going down my list one by one, doing my posts for the week.

  When I hear a thud and then the sound of feet running, I look up and see that Zoey is up. “Auntie CanCan.” She runs over to me, and I open my arms for her to crawl into my lap. “You working?” she asks, pushing the hair away from her face as she leans into me.

  “I am.” I kiss her head. “Did you sleep okay?” I tuck her hair behind her ears as she nods. “Are you hungry?”

  “Can we have pancakes?” She smiles. “Banana and strawberry.” I kiss her cheek and bring her to me getting up. “Can I help?” She runs over to her step stool that I had made for her when she was here last time. She drags it over to the counter and places it against it. Stepping up on the stool now putting her hands on the counter. “I’m ready.”

  “Okay,” I say, walking and getting the stuff ready for her. I stand with her and we make pancakes and I put bacon in the oven. “I’m going to put on your show and cook your pancakes.”

  “Okay,” she says, turning round, and I hold her hand as she climbs down. I wipe her hands and then carry her to the couch.

  “Can I have some milk?” she asks after I put her on the couch and turn on her show. I walk to the kitchen, grabbing her sippy cup, and then head to the fridge. I smile when I see the baby bottles right in front of where Zoey’s whole milk is. I pour some milk in her cup and then take it to her. She grabs it and then watches her show while lying down. I make her pancakes, and when she finishes them, she has sticky hands, and I laugh when her tongue comes out to lick the syrup from her face. The doorbell rings. “Don’t move,” I say, grabbing a wet cloth and cleaning her hands and face. Then there is a knock on the door. “Go sit on the couch,” I say, walking to the front door. I unlock the front door, pulling it open and never expecting the sight in front of me.