The Taming of the Shrew
Page 8
To this most patient, sweet and virtuous wife.
Dine with my father, drink a health to me,
For I must hence, and farewell to you all.
TRANIO Let us entreat you stay till after dinner.
PETRUCHIO It may not be.
GREMIO Let me entreat you.
PETRUCHIO It cannot be.
KATE Let me entreat you.
PETRUCHIO I am content.
KATE Are you content to stay?
PETRUCHIO I am content you shall entreat me stay,
But yet not stay199, entreat me how you can.
KATE Now, if you love me, stay.
PETRUCHIO Grumio, my horse.
GRUMIO Ay, sir, they be ready, the oats have eaten the horses202.
KATE Nay, then,
Do what thou canst, I will not go today,
No, nor tomorrow, not till I please myself.
The door is open, sir, there lies your way,
You may be jogging whiles your boots are green207.
For me, I'll not be gone till I please myself.
'Tis like you'll prove a jolly209 surly groom,
That take it on you at the first so roundly210.
PETRUCHIO O Kate, content thee. Prithee be not angry.
KATE I will be angry. What hast thou to do212?--
Father, be quiet. He shall stay my leisure213.
GREMIO Ay, marry, sir, now it begins to work214.
KATE Gentlemen, forward to the bridal dinner.
I see a woman may be made a fool,
If she had not a spirit to resist.
PETRUCHIO They shall go forward, Kate, at thy command.--
Obey the bride, you that attend on her.
Go to the feast, revel and domineer220,
Carouse full measure221 to her maidenhead,
Be mad222 and merry, or go hang yourselves.
But for my bonny Kate, she must with me.--
Nay, look not big224, nor stamp, nor stare, nor fret.
I will be master of what is mine own:
She is my goods, my chattels, she is my house226,
My household stuff227, my field, my barn,
My horse, my ox, my ass, my anything,
And here she stands, touch her whoever dare.
I'll bring mine action230 on the proudest he
That stops my way in Padua.-- Grumio,
Draw forth thy weapon, we are beset with thieves.
Rescue thy mistress, if thou be a man.
Fear not, sweet wench, they shall not touch thee, Kate.
I'll buckler235 thee against a million.
Exeunt Petruchio, Katherina [and Grumio]
BAPTISTA Nay, let them go, a couple of quiet ones.
GREMIO Went they not237 quickly, I should die with laughing.
TRANIO Of all mad matches never was the like.
LUCENTIO Mistress, what's your opinion of your sister?
BIANCA That, being mad herself, she's madly mated.
GREMIO I warrant him, Petruchio is Kated241.
BAPTISTA Neighbours and friends, though bride and bridegroom wants
For to242 supply the places at the table,
You know there wants no junkets244 at the feast.
Lucentio, you shall supply the bridegroom's place,
And let Bianca take her sister's room246.
TRANIO Shall sweet Bianca practise how to bride it247?
BAPTISTA She shall, Lucentio. Come, gentlemen, let's go.
Exeunt
[Act 3 Scene 3]
running scene 5
Location: a country estate
Enter Grumio
GRUMIO Fie, fie on all tired jades, on all mad masters, and all
foul ways2!
Was ever man so beaten? Was ever man so rayed? Was ever man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and
they are coming after to warm them. Now, were not I a little
pot and soon hot4, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my
tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I
should come by a fire to thaw me. But I with blowing the fire
shall warm myself, for, considering the weather, a taller8 man
than I will take cold. Holla, ho, Curtis!
Enter Curtis
CURTIS Who is that calls so coldly10?
GRUMIO A piece of ice: if thou doubt it, thou mayst slide
from my shoulder to my heel with no greater a run12 but my
head and my neck. A fire, good Curtis.
CURTIS Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio?
GRUMIO O, ay, Curtis, ay, and therefore fire, fire, cast on no water15.
CURTIS Is she so hot16 a shrew as she's reported?
GRUMIO She was, good Curtis, before this frost. But, thou
know'st, winter tames man, woman and beast18, for it hath
tamed my old master and my new mistress and myself, fellow
Curtis.
CURTIS Away, you three-inch fool! I am no beast21.
GRUMIO Am I but three inches? Why, thy horn22 is a foot, and
so long am I at the least23. But wilt thou make a fire, or shall I
complain on thee to our mistress, whose hand, she being
now at hand, thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold comfort, for
being slow in thy hot office26?
CURTIS I prithee, good Grumio, tell me how goes the world?
GRUMIO A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine, and
therefore fire: do thy duty29, and have thy duty, for my master
and mistress are almost frozen to death.
CURTIS There's fire ready, and therefore, good Grumio, the
news.
GRUMIO Why, 'Jack, boy! Ho, boy!' and as much news33 as wilt
thou.
CURTIS Come, you are so full of cony-catching35!
GRUMIO Why, therefore fire, for I have caught extreme cold.
Where's the cook? Is supper ready, the house trimmed37,
rushes strewed38, cobwebs swept, the servingmen in their new
fustian39, the white stockings, and every officer his wedding-
garment on? Be the jacks40 fair within, the jills fair without,
the carpets laid41, and everything in order?
CURTIS All ready, and therefore, I pray thee, news.
GRUMIO First know my horse is tired, my master and mistress
fallen out.
CURTIS How?
GRUMIO Out of their saddles into the dirt, and thereby hangs
a tale.
CURTIS Let's ha't48, good Grumio.
GRUMIO Lend thine ear.
CURTIS Here.
GRUMIO There.
Strikes him
CURTIS This 'tis to feel a tale, not to hear a tale.
GRUMIO And therefore 'tis called a sensible53 tale, and this cuff
was but to knock at your ear, and beseech listening. Now I
begin: Imprimis55, we came down a foul hill, my master riding
behind my mistress--
CURTIS Both of57 one horse?
GRUMIO What's that to thee?
CURTIS Why, a horse.
GRUMIO Tell thou the tale. But hadst thou not crossed60 me,
thou shouldst have heard how her horse fell and she under
her horse: thou shouldst have heard in how miry62 a place,
how she was bemoiled63, how he left her with the horse upon
her, how he beat me because her horse stumbled, how she
waded through the dirt to pluck him off me, how he swore,
how she prayed that never prayed before, how I cried, how
the horses ran away, how her bridle was burst67, how I lost my
crupper, with many things of worthy memory68, which now
shall die in oblivion and thou return unexperienced69 to thy
grave.
CURTIS By this reckoning he is more shrew than she.
GRUMIO Ay, and that thou and the proudest72 of you all
shall
find when he comes home. But what73 talk I of this? Call forth
Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugarsop and
the rest. Let their heads be slickly combed, their blue75 coats
brushed and their garters of an indifferent knit76. Let them
curtsy77 with their left legs and not presume to touch a hair of
my master's horsetail till they kiss their hands78. Are they all
ready?
CURTIS They are.
GRUMIO Call them forth.
CURTIS Do you hear, ho? You must meet my master to
countenance83 my mistress.
GRUMIO Why, she hath a face of her own.
CURTIS Who knows not that?
GRUMIO Thou, it seems, that calls for company to
countenance her.
CURTIS I call them forth to credit88 her.
Enter four or five Servingmen
GRUMIO Why, she comes to borrow nothing of them.
NATHANIEL Welcome home, Grumio!
PHILIP How now, Grumio!
JOSEPH What, Grumio!
NICHOLAS Fellow Grumio!
NATHANIEL How now, old lad?
GRUMIO Welcome, you.-- How now, you?--
Greets each Servingman
What, you?-- Fellow, you.-- And thus much for
greeting. Now, my spruce97 companions, is all ready, and all
things neat98?
NATHANIEL All things is ready. How near is our master?
GRUMIO E'en at hand, alighted by this100, and therefore be not--
Cock's passion101, silence! I hear my master.
Enter Petruchio and Kate
PETRUCHIO Where be these knaves? What, no man at door
To hold my stirrup nor to take my horse?
Where is Nathaniel, Gregory, Philip?
ALL SERVINGMEN Here, here, sir, here, sir.
PETRUCHIO Here, sir, here, sir, here, sir, here, sir!
You logger-headed107 and unpolished grooms!
What, no attendance? No regard? No duty?
Where is the foolish knave I sent before?
GRUMIO Here, sir, as foolish as I was before.
PETRUCHIO You peasant swain111. You whoreson malt-horse drudge.
Did I not bid thee meet me in the park112,
And bring along these rascal knaves with thee?
GRUMIO Nathaniel's coat, sir, was not fully made114,
And Gabriel's pumps were all unpinked115 i'th'heel.
There was no link116 to colour Peter's hat,
And Walter's dagger was not come from sheathing117.
There were none fine118 but Adam, Rafe and Gregory,
The rest were ragged, old, and beggarly.
Yet, as they are, here are they come to meet you.
PETRUCHIO Go, rascals, go, and fetch my supper in.
Exeunt Servingmen
'Where is the life that late I led?
Where are those122--'
Sings
Sit down, Kate, and welcome.-- Soud124, soud, soud, soud!
They sit
Enter Servants with supper
Why, when, I say? Nay, good sweet Kate, be merry.--
Off with my boots, you rogues! You villains, when126?
A Servant takes off his boots
'It was the friar of orders grey,
As he forth walked on his way127--'
Sings
Out129, you rogue! You pluck my foot awry.
Take that, and mend130 the plucking of the other.
Kicks him
Be merry, Kate.-- Some water131, here. What, ho!
Enter one with water
Where's my spaniel Troilus132? Sirrah, get you hence,
And bid my cousin Ferdinand133 come hither.--
One, Kate, that you must kiss, and be acquainted with.--
Where are my slippers? Shall I have some water?
Come, Kate, and wash, and welcome heartily.--
Servant spills water
You whoreson villain, will you let it fall?
Strikes the Servant
KATE Patience, I pray you. 'Twas a fault unwilling.
PETRUCHIO A whoreson beetle-headed139, flap-eared knave!--
Come, Kate, sit down, I know you have a stomach140.
Will you give thanks141, sweet Kate, or else shall I?
What's this? Mutton?
FIRST SERVANT Ay.
PETRUCHIO Who brought it?
PETER I.
PETRUCHIO 'Tis burnt, and so is all the meat.
What dogs are these? Where is the rascal cook?
How durst you, villains, bring it from the dresser148
And serve it thus to me that love it not?
There, take it to you, trenchers150, cups, and all.
Throws the meat and dishes at them
You heedless joltheads151 and unmannered slaves!
What, do you grumble? I'll be with you straight152.
KATE I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet.
The meat was well154, if you were so contented.
PETRUCHIO I tell thee, Kate, 'twas burnt and dried away,
And I expressly am forbid to touch it,
For it engenders choler157, planteth anger,
And better 'twere that both of us did fast,
Since, of ourselves159, ourselves are choleric,
Than feed it with such over-roasted flesh.
Be patient, tomorrow't shall be mended,
And for this night we'll fast for company162.
Come, I will bring thee to thy bridal chamber.
Exeunt
Enter Servants severally
NATHANIEL Peter, didst ever see the like?
PETER He kills her in her own humour165.
GRUMIO Where is he?
Enter Curtis, a servant
CURTIS In her chamber, making a sermon of continency167
to her,
And rails and swears and rates169 that she, poor soul,
Knows not which way to stand, to look, to speak,
And sits as one new-risen171 from a dream.
Away, away, for he is coming hither.
[Exeunt]
Enter Petruchio
PETRUCHIO Thus have I politicly173 begun my reign,
And 'tis my hope to end successfully.
My falcon175 now is sharp and passing empty,
And till she stoop176 she must not be full-gorged,
For then she never looks upon177 her lure.
Another way I have to man178 my haggard,
To make her come and know her keeper's call,
That is, to watch her180, as we watch these kites
That bate and beat181 and will not be obedient.
She eat182 no meat today, nor none shall eat.
Last night she slept not, nor tonight she shall not.
As with the meat, some undeserved fault
I'll find about the making of the bed,
And here I'll fling the pillow, there the bolster,
This way the coverlet, another way the sheets.
Ay, and amid this hurly188 I intend
That all is done in reverend care of her.
And in conclusion she shall watch190 all night,
And if she chance to nod I'll rail and brawl
And with the clamour keep her still awake.
This is a way to kill a wife with kindness,
And thus I'll curb her mad and headstrong humour.
He that knows better how to tame a shrew,
Now let him speak. 'Tis charity to show196.
Exit
[Act 3 Scene 4]
running scene 6
Location: Padua
Enter Tranio and Hortensio
TRANIO Is't possible, friend Litio, that Mistress Bianca
Doth fancy any other but Lucentio?
I tell you, sir, she bears me fair in hand3.
HORTENSIO Sir, to satisfy4 you in what I have said,
Stand by and mark the man
ner of his teaching.
Enter Bianca [and Lucentio]
LUCENTIO Now, mistress, profit you in what you read?
BIANCA What, master, read you? First resolve7 me that.
LUCENTIO I read that I profess8, the Art to Love.
BIANCA And may you prove, sir, master of your art.
LUCENTIO While you, sweet dear, prove mistress of my heart.
Lucentio and Bianca talk aside
HORTENSIO Quick proceeders11, marry! Now tell me, I pray,
You that durst swear that your mistress Bianca
Loved none in the world so well as Lucentio.
TRANIO O despiteful love, unconstant womankind!
I tell thee, Litio, this is wonderful15.
HORTENSIO Mistake no more, I am not Litio,
Nor a musician, as I seem to be,
But one that scorn to live in this disguise,
For such a one19 as leaves a gentleman,
And makes a god of such a cullion20;
Know, sir, that I am called Hortensio.
TRANIO Signior Hortensio, I have often heard
Of your entire23 affection to Bianca,
And since mine eyes are witness of her lightness24,
I will with you, if you be so contented,
Forswear26 Bianca and her love forever.
HORTENSIO See how they kiss and court! Signior Lucentio,
Here is my hand, and here I firmly vow
Never to woo her more, but do forswear her,
As one unworthy all the former favours
That I have fondly31 flattered her withal.
TRANIO And here I take the like unfeigned32 oath,
Never to marry with her though she would entreat.
Fie on her! See how beastly34 she doth court him!
HORTENSIO Would all the world but he had quite forsworn35!
For me, that36 I may surely keep mine oath,
I will be married to a wealthy widow,
Ere three days pass, which hath as long loved me
As I have loved this proud disdainful haggard.
And so farewell, Signior Lucentio.
Kindness in women, not their beauteous looks,
Shall win my love. And so I take my leave,
In resolution43 as I swore before.
[Exit]
TRANIO Mistress Bianca, bless you with such grace
As 'longeth45 to a lover's blessed case!
Nay, I have ta'en you napping46, gentle love,
And have forsworn you with Hortensio.
BIANCA Tranio, you jest. But have you both forsworn me?
TRANIO Mistress, we have.
LUCENTIO Then we are rid of Litio.
TRANIO I'faith, he'll have a lusty51 widow now,
That shall be wooed and wedded in a day.
BIANCA God give him joy!
TRANIO Ay, and he'll tame her.
BIANCA He says so, Tranio.
TRANIO Faith, he is gone unto the taming school.
BIANCA The taming school? What, is there such a place?
TRANIO Ay, mistress, and Petruchio is the master,
That teacheth tricks eleven and twenty long59,
To tame a shrew and charm60 her chatt'ring tongue.
Enter Biondello
BIONDELLO O master, master, I have watched so long
That I am dog-weary62, but at last I spied
An ancient angel63 coming down the hill
Will serve the turn.
TRANIO What is he, Biondello?
BIONDELLO Master, a mercatante66, or a pedant,
I know not what, but formal in apparel,