Ilan

by Dana Archer

  Nolan raises his head from where he’s staring at his phone. A small smile graces his lips. It’s the friendly kind, but the memory of his cool tone while talking about Daegan is too fresh in my mind.

  I meet Nolan’s gaze, letting the shock of seeing him here show on my face. “I thought you left.”

  “I did. Well, I made it to the parking lot before I felt Daegan trying to reach out to me. So I returned. But Daegan has visitors now. I have to wait my turn.”

  “Yes, Ilan’s in with him.”

  “I assumed, and likely you’re waiting for Ilan.” Nolan stands and pulls out a chair at his table, the same table I sat at not long ago. My coffee cup from before is gone. Someone must’ve cleaned up after me. I’d gotten distracted. Ilan has that effect on me.

  “Yes, I am.” And at this point, I don’t care if we leave the hospital or take Dr. Kagan up on her offer and crash in the small bedroom upstairs, a room Riley explained was for when her nurses worked double shifts.

  Nolan motions to the vacant seat across from him. “Let me offer up a seat this time, and we can wait together.”

  “Thank you, but I wasn’t planning on sitting. I was going to grab a cup, then head back to the hospital rooms.” The lie sits heavy on my tongue. An access code is needed to enter the restricted hallway from this side of the door, and I wasn’t given a code.

  “Drinks aren’t allowed out of this room.” Nolan points to the sign on the wall next to the door that states the same thing.

  I glance at the sign as if it’s the first time I saw it. “Oh, that’s a shame.”

  “Guess you’ll have to join me.” Nolan makes his way to the coffeepot, where creamer and cups are stacked neatly next to it. He sets two white ceramic mugs on the surface, grabs the full pot, then turns to me. “How do you take it?”

  The debate plays out in my head. I really don’t want to talk to this man, but the opportunity to learn more about the attack on Daegan is too good to pass up. Ilan might need the information I can get.

  “Black, please.” I follow Nolan’s movements as he pours the cups, then take the seat he pointed to moments ago once he puts the mugs in the middle of the table.

  “I’m grateful to be graced with your company a second time tonight.” Nolan settles his large frame on the small chair. “My social media feed wasn’t keeping my attention at all. Nobody ever posts anything. All I see are ads. I really need to join some groups or start reading again.”

  “Not many friends on your list?”

  Nolan shakes his head. “My pride mates are old. They don’t bother with social media. I only joined to appease my mate. She wanted to tag me in pictures and stuff. She did all the time too.” He stares at the steaming mugs between us but doesn’t reach for one. He doesn’t smile either. His features turn stony. “Every now and then, a memory will pop up, reminding me of all those times we shared.”

  “Did the two of you separate?” I’m not even sure if that’s possible. The way Ilan described the bond we’d soon share, it sounded very permanent.

  Nolan spins his phone ninety degrees, then caresses the edge as if considering if he wants to turn it on. “She was kidnapped, a prisoner of the war on Royals. I haven’t seen her in several years.”

  The empathy I feel for others rears its head. I select one of the mugs and slide it closer to me, needing the warmth to chase away thoughts of never seeing those I love again. With the situation facing Ilan, those thoughts are too close. I have no desire to breathe life into them and make them grow. “I’m very sorry. Do you have any leads on her?”

  Nolan shakes his head but doesn’t speak.

  The awkward silence grows. So does my desire to fill it. “What war on Royals are you referring to?”

  “You know about the shifter world?”

  The question invites me to disclose more than I’m comfortable divulging. I don’t know what I’m supposed to know and what Ilan’s told me because I’m his true mate. I lift the coffee mug to my lips and inhale the scent of heaven to hide my hesitation. Finally, I take a sip, then glance at Nolan. “I’m a part of it.”

  He nods as if he expected the answer. “I’m referring to the exploitation of our gifts from the heavens. You see, Royals are stronger than singles, and once our immortality kicks in, we’re even more valuable.”

  “How so?”

  Nolan shrugs. “Many ways. Fighting, manual labor, our healing blood, stamina, the sex slave who won’t die no matter what you do to him or her. Some Royals are even being forced to extend their immortality to the singles.”

  Like Ilan’s alpha. “Have you talked to Shifter Affairs? Maybe they can help you.”

  “I am a Shifter Affairs agent.” Nolan grins, but the smile is tight, forced. “I joined after my mate was kidnapped. I was desperate to get her back. She was pregnant at the time she was kidnapped. Their connections haven’t helped, unfortunately. At least in getting my family back. I’ve helped recover other females and kids, though.”

  “I’m sure their loved ones are grateful.”

  Nolan dips his head, then grabs the other cup, nearly sloshing liquid over the rim, and takes a gulp of the steaming coffee. He sets the mug down. “I told myself the same thing at first. It doesn’t help any longer. Nearly seven years have passed. My babies have grown up without me being a part of their lives. Before I know it, they’ll mature. Maybe they’ll be forced to take breeding partners then and pop out even more kids that’ll be abused and exploited. And my mate?” Nolan leans over the table. “I don’t even know if she’s still alive. I never soul-bonded to her. I thought we’d have plenty of time to take that step. We didn’t. Those who kidnapped her stole our future and the perfect little family we planned.”

  “I’m sorry.” Those words mean so little to Nolan, but they’re all I have to give.

  Nolan looks over my shoulder. “Which is why I wanted to make sure my pride mate followed through with his assignment and delivered the baby to Ilan. Knowing Daegan, I half expected him to keep the kid and raise him as an assassin. Of course, Ilan might do the same, but at least the kid will be with his pack. Don’t you agree, Ilan? Family matters more than anything or anyone.”

  I glance behind me to where Ilan is standing in the archway to the cafeteria. He doesn’t look at me. His guarded expression is on Nolan.

  Ilan steps into the room. “Did everyone in your pride know about Brock’s baby?”

  “I’m top dominant. My alpha leader told me.”

  “Who else knew?” Ilan demands instead of answering Nolan’s question.

  “Several members.” Nolan shrugs. “Maybe most. My pride isn’t that large.”

  Ilan moves behind me and settles his hands on my shoulders. “One of them betrayed my pack. That’s the only explanation for the presence of the Krisban males who tried to take the baby. Maybe kill him. I don’t know what they’d planned, and they won’t be telling me their motives now.”

  Nolan takes another sip of his coffee, avoiding my gaze and Ilan’s behind me. “They’re dead?”

  Ilan’s grip firms, not painfully but almost as a reminder he’s there. “Unfortunately.”

  “Unfortunately?” Nolan raises a brow.

  “I would’ve rather they suffered more before they left this world, but I didn’t get the opportunity to torture them properly.” Ilan leans over me, his shirt brushing against the top of my head. “Maybe skin them or chop off their hands and feet. Of course, skinning them would’ve proved difficult even without their hands and feet. They’d still fight back.”

  “True.” Nolan shakes his head. “Makes me wonder what happened to Daegan that he met that fate.”

  “You were the first on the scene. What did you see? Anything that would’ve prevented Daegan from fighting back?” Ilan’s demand steals my breath. Had he directed that tone at me, I’d tell him everything, even if I didn’t know anything.

  Nolan drains the rest of his coffee, then sets the mug carefully on the table. “I was to meet Daegan at a tattoo
artist’s shop. The moment I pulled up, I smelled blood and tasted Daegan’s pain on my tongue. I think my arrival saved him. I sensed another shifter’s presence, but I chose to help Daegan instead of going after him. As for how Daegan got himself in that predicament, I can’t say. Hopefully, he’ll enlighten us once he wakes.”

  “This other shifter?” Ilan lowers his voice. “Can you identify him by smell?”

  “The scent of Daegan’s blood was overwhelming. My felines sensed bear, though. And they gauged him as being old. Very old. They had no desire to go after him. We don’t like Daegan enough to avenge him.”

  “He’s your family.” I know I’m gaping at Nolan, but I can’t understand why he wouldn’t fight for Daegan, especially after his comment about family being important.

  “And I saved his life.” Nolan crosses his arms over his chest. “Daegan’s an assassin. He can seek out his own revenge once he’s healed. I’m a Shifter Affairs agent now. Seeking retribution is frowned upon.”

  “But isn’t that what you want for your mate and kids?” That was the impression I got, anyway.

  “Yes, but I’d rather see them free than appease my need for vengeance. Shifter Affairs allows me access to contacts I’d never have made on my own. Some on the up-and-up, some not so legal.”

  I could understand that too. “It’s a shame none of those contacts could give you any viable leads.”

  With his gaze on the empty coffee mug, Nolan nods. “Yes, a tragic shame.”

  “Where was this shop where you found Daegan?” Ilan changes the subject back to the situation affecting our family. I can’t blame him. This topic affects our future.

  “Bear Claw. About an hour north of here, right on the other side of the Winchester pack lands.” Nolan drops his arms and leans forward. “But you won’t find anything there. I called in a cleanup crew. Shifter Affairs will have the details of what was found.”

  “Then I’ll get them from Agent Montgomery.” Ilan steps to my side and takes my hand, drawing me to my feet. “And we’ll leave you to visit with Daegan.”

  “If I hear anything, I’ll be in touch,” Nolan calls out as we step into the hallway.

  “Thank you.” Ilan doesn’t look back at Nolan. He pushes the button on the elevator. “And as Sara said earlier, I’m sorry for your loss.”

  Nolan doesn’t respond. I steal a glance at him as the elevator doors open. Anger doesn’t show on his face. Neither does regret or sadness. A glint of determination shows in his eyes. Several years might’ve passed, but Nolan hasn’t given up on his family. He’ll save them, even if it’s the last thing he does.

  It must be a shifter trait. Ilan had the same look in his eyes when he vowed to eliminate the threats to his pack. I believe both men too. Nothing will stop them from protecting what’s theirs.

  Twenty-Seven

  Sara

  The winding dirt roads we took this morning leading back to this secluded area in the mountains weren’t here a few years ago. Neither were the homes in various stages of construction we passed. The word at the bar was that a real estate developer bought a huge tract of land and is putting in a bunch of upscale, tech-friendly houses geared toward work-from-home professionals who want to escape the distractions of city life.

  Winchester Creative Endeavors even managed to get approval for a cell tower to be built at the top of this mountain. The locals had been ecstatic as cell service is sketchy in many parts. The surge in the construction business is a welcome benefit for many hardworking people too. Nobody even floated any unfavorable theories or opinions about the bunch of rich, workaholics who moved into the area. Instead, the newcomers are often praised for their involvement, donating both resources and money to many local groups.

  Since jumping headfirst into the shifter world, I’ve learned the truth about why so many shifters relocated here. At the moment, I’m grateful for them. This secluded community of perceived “eccentric professionals” are the ones who’ve vowed to protect Soren from danger and help Ilan overcome the threats to his pack.

  On a slow pivot, I take in the living room of a newly built home constructed for one of the Winchester pack members who’s kindly lent Ilan and me the keys. The floor-to-ceiling bookcase with a sliding ladder to reach the top shelves makes the local library’s collection look sad. I want to browse the selections. The rugged, worn leather sectional near the fireplace is tempting too. I could stretch out with a book and relax…if I wasn’t so stressed.

  Ilan enters the room from the kitchen where he just took several bags of groceries. He closes the distance between us and steps behind me. Then he wraps his arms around my waist and rests his cheek on the top of my head. The natural and easy way we fit doesn’t surprise me. I trust in our bond. The tension sliding from my shoulders does, however. It’s as if Ilan can take all my troubles away with only his arms around me.

  “I felt your nerves. What’s wrong?”

  Ilan’s concern bleeds into his voice. This man who fought so hard to ignore me—to protect me—holds a well of strength and goodness, even if he might not see those honorable qualities. To him, they’re primal responses. To me, they’re traits to treasure. Where he sees his life as an assassin as evil, I view him as an instrument of justice, a man whose acts save people. Where he regrets the pain and humiliation he’s caused me these past few years, I’m grateful for the lessons we’ve both learned.

  I pull Ilan’s arms tighter around me. “I listened on the car ride out here as you talked to Dante about this man…Owen…who’s connected to your alpha.”

  “And?” Ilan prompts after I remain silent.

  “And…I can’t help wondering what will happen if it comes down to Gabriel’s life or Owen’s life.” I turn in Ilan’s arms. “How would a decision like that be made? Do you weigh Gabriel’s worth over Owen’s, or does it come down to the fact that Gabriel’s a Royal alpha and Owen isn’t? How can you decide whose life is worth more?”

  Ilan exhales slowly, his body visibly slumping. “If I had to choose, I’d pick Gabriel.”

  “But how can—”

  Ilan presses a finger to my lips. “I don’t know Owen well, but I know Gabriel. He’s my brother. He’s a good man, honorable, kind, nothing like I am. If I had to choose right now based on what I know, I’d pick my brother, but this won’t be a decision that’ll come down to me. I’m hoping Gabriel and Owen can learn to live with this connection that’s been forced onto them.”

  His answer gives me hope. I don’t know either of these men, but the people around me care about them. I don’t want to see them hurt. “Let’s hope so.”

  “We just need to find Gabriel before it’s too late. Owen mentioned the strain on his soul and how he feels it tearing.” The seriousness in Ilan’s voice casts a veil over my flicker of hope.

  “Souls are a new concept for me. I mean, I was taught in church about souls, but the way you talk about them is different, almost like they’re an organ or something.” I laugh, knowing what I just said sounds a little crazy.

  A small smile chases the solemnity from Ilan’s face. “I suppose that’s one way to look at it.”

  “And if it’s gravely injured or torn like Owen describes, that would be a bad thing. Right?”

  “Very bad, yes.”

  My gaze strays to Ilan’s chest as I wrangle with my conscience. Talking to Nolan earlier has stirred more questions than I have answers to. “I know it’s not the right time to bring this up, but I can’t help wondering what would happen to you if I die before you finish our soul bond. Because I’m not immortal, right? I can still die.”

  Although Ilan doesn’t move or stiffen, I can almost feel tension sliding into his body. “I won’t allow you into any situation where you might die. Nor have I done so. I’ve made sure you were safe when I couldn’t be with you. Ezra protected you this last time in my absence.”

  “I’m not doubting your promise to protect me.” Frustration adds a bite to my voice. I should’ve known Ilan would react this
way. His instincts would demand he be the one to slay my enemies, not another man.

  “Then what?” Ilan raises a brow. “My desire to finish our soul bond? Or my love for you?”

  Hands fisted and jaw clenched, I fight the urge to shake my lover even while I want to glory in his words. This time he didn’t hint at his feelings. He told me what they are. Too bad he only meant his revelation as a distraction. “I know what you’re doing, and I won’t fall for it, Ilan Kane.”

  Ilan’s lip quivers, and the tiny lines by his eyes crinkle. “What am I doing?”

  “Trying to redirect this conversation away from you.” And part of me wants to go along so I can tell him I love him too.

  “And my feelings aren’t what you want to discuss?”

  His unspoken promise is there in his eyes. Ilan will tell me everything. He won’t hide his emotions. Giving in to his attempt to redirect me is so very tempting. He’d know that, however. I focus on him, letting him see I won’t let this go. “If there’s a chance me dying will hurt you, I want to know.”

  “So you can protect me.” A statement, not a question.

  “So I can ask why you won’t finish our bond.” I step out of Ilan’s embrace and stand taller, hoping my strength and commitment show in my demeanor. “Because I’m ready to be the light in your dark world. I’m ready to fill you with my love and give you everything you’ve missed out on while waiting for me.”

  “Sara.” Ilan closes the space I put between us. He doesn’t pull me into his arms, though. He lays his fingers on my cheek in a barely there touch that builds anticipation within me. “You don’t know what’s involved in soul bonding. It’s dangerous.”

  “And it’s dangerous to you if I die before we can finish our bond, right?”

  A long moment passes before Ilan shakes his head. “I won’t die. My soul won’t shatter either.”