by Dana Archer
“You’ll balance me, Ilan.” My fingers tingle with the need to touch Ilan’s soul. There’s no resisting the urge. I’m drawn to the darkness. I dance my fingertips over the silky, smoky tendrils, and peace slips through me. “You’ll ground me, ensuring I’m strong enough to be the guiding light of our pack. Strong enough to withstand anything. Strong enough to face eternity by your side. I need you, darkness and all.”
“Sara.”
On a sigh of acceptance, Ilan fills the hole in my soul, completing me. In the next instant, icy coldness seizes me as the wound heals. My back bows. My mouth opens on a soundless scream. All I can do is stare wide-eyed as slivers of pure white weave through the dark gray tendrils wrapped around my soul. The white races outward in a swirling dance. Dizziness grips me. Pain lashes me next. Pain more intense than anything I’ve ever experienced. There’s no escaping it. Ilan’s firm hold on my soul and body stops me from seeking relief.
The brush of fur tickles me, magnifying the agony gripping me. The nudging grows more insistent. Desperation seeps into me, but it’s not mine. There’s an animalistic edge to it. I know who it belongs to. It’s Ilan’s wolves. They want to come home, but I need to let them in. If I don’t, I’ll lose them. I’ll lose Ilan.
Never.
I open my arms to Ilan’s wolves as I did Ilan. They crash into me, stealing my last breath. My heart stops again. Darkness slips over my vision, and something tugs at my soul, trying to pull me away from Ilan. I don’t fear it. I don’t fear anything. Ilan won’t let death steal me. Neither will his wolves.
Ilan and his wolves wrap around me, filling me with their devotion and strength. Their warm embrace pulls me from the edge, stealing me from death’s grip. The cold shroud creeps back, drawing me away from my own soul and dropping me back into my body.
I blink hard as awareness returns. Ilan’s love-filled eyes fill my vision. Our bedroom surrounds us. I’m cradled in his arms in the center of our bed. I don’t remember ending up here. Doesn’t matter. I’m alive and safe in Ilan’s arms.
He lifts his wrist. Blood wells from his unmarred skin. There’s no wound. The beads of dark red blood drip, though, forming rivulets down his forearm. “Finish it, Sara. Be my eternal mate, the mother of my children, and my best friend. Forever, Sara. Be mine forever.”
“Ilan.” I gently grasp Ilan’s arm and capture one of the wandering droplets of red. The flavor of chocolate hits my tongue. Power zings through me. I greedily lick up Ilan’s spilled blood, then latch on to the source of my life. That’s what Ilan’s offering me. A new life. With him.
The blood in my mouth thickens as it slides down my throat. After a moment, the sensation of choking grips me. My lungs burn. I can’t breathe. Instinct directs me. I push against Ilan’s wrist, needing air. He holds me in place with a firm hand at the back of my head so I can’t get away. I can’t stop the flow of thick liquid either. It’s choking me. I thrash against Ilan, desperation driving me this time.
He lowers me to the bed, keeping his wrist pressed to my lips. “Relax, my mate. I have you.”
Ilan’s words comfort me even while my lungs expand and my arms shake uncontrollably. I hold his gaze, focusing on the love in his eyes, and ignore the primal fear. Ilan won’t let death steal me away. I know that. He told me, and I believe him.
More of the thick liquid flows into my lungs. Every inch of my body burns, and the compulsion to fight Ilan is strong. I relax my body, letting the pain have its way with me. Ilan’s smile strengthens me, encouraging me to hold on. It’s almost over. I don’t know how I know this. I just do. As soon as the thought forms, another heartbeat echoes within my soul. Then another and another. Emotions flow through me. None are mine. They belong to my wolves. I feel them inside me.
“That’s right, my mate.” Ilan’s words skip through my mind while his all-orange eyes hold my gaze. His lips don’t move. Our bedroom still surrounds us, yet I hear Ilan talking in my mind. “You have your own set of wolves, a gift from my goddess. They’re beautiful too, just like you are.”
“I can’t see them.” I speak the words out loud. I don’t know how to say them in my head.
Ilan smiles. Still, his mouth doesn’t open. “You will soon, just as you’ll learn to talk to me this way. You’ll learn everything, and you’ll be powerful.”
“I’ll become a fitting mate for you.”
“You always were perfect for me, Sara.” Ilan proclaims his devotion out loud. The love and pride in his voice reflects what I see in his eyes. “I just never thought I deserved you.”
“Then it’s a good thing I never gave up on you.”
“Yes, a very good thing. I love you, Sara. You’re my conscience, my reason for living, my very own angel.”
Knowing what I mean to Ilan satisfies me on a level I’ll never again have to hide. “And I love you, Ilan. You’re my cornerstone, the reason I fight.”
And together, we’ll never lose.
Epilogue
Uri Alexander
With my eyes closed and my felines buried deep, I take in the details of the busy Shifter Affairs waiting room. The many conversations create a chorus of noise, leaving me agitated. The plethora of scents distracts me, pulling me in every direction. And the air caressing my skin as people move past me ups my tension, leaving me unsure if I’m in the presence of friends or foes.
Without my sight, I can’t tell for sure. Without my felines, I can’t even use the clues in my surroundings to decide. That’s Ezra’s fate, though. His cats shun his human body, preferring to remain in their realm where they can see. Or they used to. Not anymore. Sara’s shown my twin and his felines a way past his handicap, convincing them to view the world in a different way.
I’m happy for my twin. I’m grateful for Sara’s intervention. And I’m excited about what this will mean for Ezra’s future. Really, I am. And if I keep repeating those words, maybe they’ll drown out my guilt for not helping Ezra realize the same thing.
On an exhaled breath, I crack the door between me and my felines. They crash into me in a rush of fur and fangs, each big cat trying to push the other out of the way to be the one to experience the world through me. Jaw clenched, I let them fight, the pain of their battle raging inside my body and soul a familiar one. For hundreds of years, the same confrontation has played out inside me. Such is the fate of a Royal. We’re experts at hating ourselves.
“Looks like our partnership has come to an end.”
Ilan’s voice reaches me from my right, compelling me to meet his gaze. I drop my head against the wall at my back instead. My cats haven’t chosen a winner yet. Going by the sensation of claws ripping up my insides, this might take a while. Each wants to be the first to look upon Soren’s twin. Of course, if my lion, tiger, and jaguar got along, they’d share the baby’s image with each other no matter who was the first to see it. But no. I had to be born with stubborn, selfish cats. “Not for a few more days. Rick’s extended his honeymoon another week. Alaska’s had some bad weather over the weekend. He’s snowed in.”
“I heard, but I’m still taking some time off to spend with my family. You’ll have to manage without me in the meantime. I know that’ll be hard, but I have confidence in you.” Ilan pats my arm. “Just remember. You got this, Uri. I’ll be rooting for you.”
My laugh surprises me. I flick my gaze to Ilan. “Careful. Keep talking like that and people will think you’ve developed a sense of humor.”
Ilan shrugs. “I’ll blame it on Sara. She’s brought out many sides of my personality I never realized were there.”
“True mates have that effect on a man.” Or so I’ve heard.
“Yes, they make us godlike. The ultimate warriors. And any shifter who finds his other half has been truly blessed by the goddesses.” Ilan stares at me with an intensity that compels me to agree.
I glance past Ilan and scan the room. I have no desire to talk about being blessed. I’m reminded how blessed I am every time I see my twin. His fate could easi
ly have been mine. “Where’s your true mate? I figured Sara would be here when your other nephew is delivered.”
“Changing subjects you’re uncomfortable with makes you look weak.”
“Or civilized.” I glare at Ilan. “Shoving another Royal because they’ve annoyed you tends to cause a fight, and fighting in a public place is against the agreement we signed with Shifter Affairs.”
Ilan raises a brow. “It is?”
“Yes.” I pull out my phone and tap the screen. “Page 4, paragraph 3, section 2. It clearly states—”
“I’ll look it up later.” Ilan takes my phone, turns it off, and hands it back. “The agents who picked up Soren’s twin should be arriving soon with the doctor who looked him over.”
“Isn’t Sara excited about the baby arriving today? I thought she’d be here.” I wanted to thank her in person for helping Ezra when I couldn’t.
“She is, but Sara’s still adjusting to her wolves’ instincts and the increase in sensitivity of her senses. Being here around so much noise and different scents is hard. She feels overwhelmed and ready to come out of her skin. I asked Ella to take her back to the cafeteria for some coffee while we wait.”
With one last snarling growl, my tiger shoves his lion and jaguar brethren back into the realm where they live and slips into my body, its soul merging with mine and its fur slipping against my skin. My senses intensify, amplifying the sounds and scents around me. A moment later, everything fades into the background, my tiger filtering the information that had left me agitated moments ago. It’ll share the details it gleans with me, granting me the edge shifters have over humans. With my tiger, I’m attuned to the world in a way I wasn’t before. The seamless process is instinctual to me, but for someone not used to sharing their body and soul with a predator, I can see how it can be overwhelming.
“Does she need any tips on being a shifter?” Maybe I can share some and repay the debt I owe her, or at least part of it. I’m not sure I can ever repay her for giving my twin hope.
“She’ll be fine. Having Soren to take care of is probably the best thing for her. Her wolves are hyperfocused on him, and that’s honing her instincts. Once she has Kieran to care for too, she won’t even notice the differences in her life. They’ll become her new norm.”
Kieran. The name has an old-world ring to it. It fits Ilan’s pack. “Well, if you need any help with the kids, call me.”
“Diapers and bottles are a part of that. You do realize that, right?”
A tingling awareness skips over my skin, heightening my senses in a way my tiger can’t. I step away from Ilan without answering and scan the crowded waiting room. The short, light-haired female who’s been forced upon me is nowhere in sight. Lyla’s close, though. I sense her. And just like last time, I want to hunt. So do my cats. She’ll taste like prey on my tongue, the ultimate prize.
I’m halfway across the waiting area by the time my mentee walks through the door. My steps falter, stopping me in my tracks. Lyla’s not alone. She no longer feels vulnerable either, ripe and innocent for the taking. A dominant walks beside her. A jaguar shifter who has his hand on her. A male she’s smiling at the way she once smiled at me.
The shifter steps closer to her while the very blonde human female on Lyla’s left hands her a car seat, then makes a beeline to the receptionist’s desk, leaving Lyla alone with this other male who’s standing protectively—possessively—over her.
The pressure in my jaw registers. I ease the clenching at the same time as the baby starts wailing, high-pitched screams that draw everyone’s attention to where Lyla is standing with this other male as if they’re a couple.
“Kieran.” Ilan says his nephew’s name, then strides past me, heading in Lyla’s direction.
I follow, reaching them along with Ilan. The moment he touches the baby’s cheek, his pitiful screams cease. Ilan takes the car seat from Lyla’s hands, sets it on the ground, and makes quick work of unbuckling the baby. Once the baby is free, Ilan holds his small pack mate with his palm over the baby’s head while Kieran clutches his shirt, burying his face against Ilan’s chest.
The scene is powerful and pitiful at the same time. They never should have been separated.
“He recognizes Ilan.” The awe in Lyla’s voice is easy to hear.
“They’re pack.” I glance at where Lyla’s now standing alone. The jaguar shifter is nowhere in sight. Tension slips from my muscles. I move closer to her, uncaring where the other male went as long as he doesn’t come back. “Why are you here?”
“No hello?” Lyla flashes me a smile that lights up her face and adds an amused glint to her honey-brown eyes. “I thought you’d miss me since I had to cancel our first training session.”
The reminder of Lyla’s new role as a Shifter Affairs agent stirs my tension once again. The short and soft female looks like she should be some kid’s teacher, not a doctor who spends her days surrounded by blood and death. “I thought you wised up and realized you’ve followed the wrong career choice.”
Lyla rolls her eyes as she tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. A few strands fall forward, refusing to be restrained. The urge to brush them back is strong. I focus on the color of her hair instead, but can’t decide if it’s blonde or light brown. Maybe wheat or gold. I can’t tell, but it suits her.
“You don’t have to mentor me, Uriel. I’m perfectly fine on my own.”
“Uri. Call me, Uri.” I give in to my compulsion and skim my fingers across her cheek, brushing her wayward hair away from her delicate features. The soft glide of her skin under my fingertips is addictive. So is the caress of her silky hair over the back of my hand. I take in the details, luxuriating in her softness for the briefest of moments, then drop my hand before I fall victim to her lure and take more than a colleague should. “And yes, I do. Ella assigned me to oversee your training.”
“My sister’s partner is reassigning to this district with her. I’m sure Colin will be more than happy to be my gym buddy. I don’t think Ella will have a problem with it.”
With a finger under Lyla’s chin, I tip her head back. It’s the only way I can hold her gaze. She’s too short otherwise. “Who is Colin?”
Lyla frowns as if my question is ridiculous. “My sister’s partner. I thought I said that. Sam and Colin have worked together for years. He’s a great guy, Uri. I think you’ll like him.”
Lyla’s use of the name I reserve for friends and family doesn’t squelch the annoyance tensing my shoulders. I step closer to Lyla, my hold on her causing her to arch her back in order to meet my gaze. “I doubt it.”
“You don’t even know him.”
“I don’t care to learn anything about him.” Especially if he’s the shifter who was touching Lyla a few minutes ago.
“And I don’t care to learn anything about you except why you’re manhandling Lyla.” A firm push against my forearm forces me to either break my grip on Lyla or risk hurting her.
I release Lyla, letting my fingertips caress her chin before facing the green-eyed jaguar shifter. “Let me guess. You’re Sam’s partner.”
“Name’s Colin Lynch, next in line to be alpha of the Lynch family. And let me guess your name.” Colin steps into my personal space. “Royal jerk, right?”
My fingers are fisting Colin’s shirt and I’m yanking him to his tiptoes before I can stop myself. A deep snarl trickles from my fanged mouth. It’s my jaguar’s anger, not my tiger’s. They changed places at some point without me noticing their fight. I acknowledge the odd occurrence, then set it aside. My jaguar doesn’t like the shifter in front of us. Neither do I.
“Page 4, paragraph 3, section 2 of the agreement we signed forbids Shifter Affairs agents from fighting in a public place for personal reasons.” Ilan forces himself between me and Colin. With the baby in Ilan’s hands, we both move immediately. “I can’t tell you what your punishment would be if you do decide to go at it, unfortunately. Appendix G, which lists the consequences of breaking those rules, is still
downloading.”
“Suspensions with or without pay and possible termination.” Colin chimes in with the answer I was about to give.
“And it’s silly to fight over a simple conversation.” Lyla glares at me, not Colin, as if I’m the one who started this.
“I agree.” Ilan steps in front of Colin, blocking my view of the jaguar shifter. “Let Colin meet with Ella while you hold Soren. I want to get his twin’s car seat installed and get both boys home before it gets any later.”
I look to where Sara is snuggling and cooing with Kieran, then take Soren from Ilan without asking more. “You’re right. Colin and I can finish this discussion in a nonpublic place.”
“There is nothing to discuss. You’re both blowing this out of proportion.” Lyla turns her irritated glower from me to Colin. “I’ll see you at home.”
Colin brushes his thumb over Lyla’s chin. “Keep my spot on the couch warm.”
Lyla nods, then glances over her shoulder. “I’ll be at the gym tomorrow night at eight if you’re still planning on being my gym buddy.”
“Mentor.” I snatch Lyla’s hand. “And I’ll be there. We’ll start with basic hand-to-hand.”
“All right, big guy.” Lyla winks at me. “Let’s make it nine, then. Fewer people around to see you getting your butt whipped by a girl.”
Laughing, I release Lyla’s hand. She has no hope of whipping me unless I allow it, but her enthusiasm is contagious. “Nine it is, then.”
Lyla nods and walks toward where her sister is talking to Ella near the elevator. Sara steps in my line of vision. “Are you ready? Ilan headed out to get the car seat installed. It won’t take him long.”
“Yes.” I give Lyla one last glance, then focus on Sara. “And I wanted to thank you for what you did for Ezra, helping him see he’s not helpless as a human.”
A full, warm, and welcoming smile spreads over Sara’s face. “I’m happy to hear he took my words to heart.”
