Family Connections

by Family Connections (retail) (epub)

  She didn’t like living on her own, even in her own home. She didn’t just miss Tom, she missed the family years, when she’d had him and her daughters for company, always something needing doing. In those days, time alone had been a welcome oasis in the bustle, not something to be managed carefully.

  Since Tom’s death she’d tried to make the best of her new life, so that she wasn’t a burden to her daughters, but Lexie was right. She hadn’t really moved on.

  Until now. This trip was her rite of passage.

  CHAPTER 27

  England

  In the morning Stu made no attempt to get ready for work. Jane studied him surreptitiously. He looked ghastly; serve him right for drinking so heavily.

  When the kids had gone to school, she braced herself and went to sit in the breakfast area with him. ‘We need to talk.’

  ‘I’m a bit fragile this morning. Can’t it wait until another day?’

  ‘You’re hungover, you mean. And you’ll be hung over tomorrow as well, if you go on this way. You and I need to talk and I think we’d better do it now.’

  He glowered at her and folded his arms. ‘All right, talk away.’

  ‘Very well. I have a few things to say, so I’ll start. Firstly, I overheard your phone conversation with Brad because I’d just picked up the phone myself. I can’t believe how rude you were to him, but even worse as far as I’m concerned, I can’t believe you took such a decision on your own and didn’t consult me about whether Rosie could see him.’

  As she’d been talking Stu uncrossed his arms and began fiddling with the crumbs on his plate, arranging them one by one in a neat circle.

  ‘You know how I feel about him,’ he muttered.

  ‘Yes, but do you know how I feel?’

  He looked up in surprise, fingers suspended over the plate. ‘Of course I do.’

  ‘I don’t think so. If you knew how I felt, you’d never have behaved like that.’

  In the silence that followed she could hear birds trilling and cheeping outside and see the dust motes dancing in the sunbeams that were spearing through the windows. She had great trouble keeping her tongue still.

  He didn’t speak, not a word, not even a sigh.

  When she could bear it no longer, she went on quietly, ‘And you’re taking absolutely no account of Rosie’s feelings when you make these unilateral decisions, which isn’t fair to her, either. You’re not usually unfair, Stu.’

  He went back to fiddling with the crumbs, rearranging them into a line this time.

  She resisted the temptation to snatch the plate away from him and insist he look at her.

  ‘Rosie needs to see Brad so that she can understand where part of her comes from. She needs that. It’s not a whim and it’s definitely not something she’ll get over. I bought a book about it last week. You should read it too. If you stop her getting to know him now, she’ll only do it after she leaves home.’ Again, she waited and when Stu at last replied, it was so quietly she had to strain to hear what he was saying.

  ‘He has no right to come here trying to take my place.’

  ‘He isn’t doing that. And she isn’t trying to put him in your place.’

  Stu shrugged, a gesture so like their son’s when he couldn’t articulate his feelings, that Jane was touched and her anger softened a little. ‘Don’t do this, darling. You’ll alienate her if you stop her seeing him. Remember, it was Rosie who contacted him, not vice versa. Yet you’re blaming him. What would you do if you found you’d fathered a child, if that child wanted to meet you? Tell her to go away? Of course you wouldn’t. And neither would Brad. He came all the way from Australia to see her.’

  ‘I wish she’d never found out.’

  ‘I shouldn’t have let you persuade me to keep it secret that you weren’t her father in the first place. We were so wrong. But now she does know, we have to trust her. She’s nearly grown up. She’ll be flying the nest soon.’

  Another silence heavy with emotion. This time she waited it out.

  He shoved the plate aside so violently that crumbs spilled everywhere and it nearly fell off the edge of the table. ‘It hurts.’ His voice was harsh, his hands were clenched into fists.

  ‘I know.’ She waited for him to calm down a little. ‘There’s something else, Stu, something I didn’t tell you before.’

  He flinched as if she’d hit him. ‘What?’

  ‘Rosie told me she always felt she came second to Casey with you, which made her feel there was something wrong with her. Now she knows why, she’s happier about herself.’

  He looked at her in horror. ‘She didn’t come second. Jane, you know she didn’t. I love her dearly. She is my daughter as far as I’m concerned.’

  ‘I think – just marginally – you love Casey more. Oh, not intentionally, but he is flesh of your flesh, after all. And she comes from another man’s flesh – only now that man has a face.’ She reached out to take hold of his hand. ‘And you’ve all the other stuff hurting you at the moment, so you’re not making good decisions about the Brad thing.’

  He twisted his hand so that he could hold hers properly. She closed her eyes in relief, because it seemed like a sign. She made her final point bluntly. ‘Darling, how long are you going to continue drinking? It’s not solving anything.’

  Stu shook his head, a blind, helpless sort of gesture. He was grasping her hand so tightly now that it hurt.

  Time to break the tense mood. She stood up and pulled him with her. ‘Let’s go and sit outside. It’s a beautiful day and if you’re going to play hooky, you may as well take advantage of this weather. I don’t have to start work till this afternoon.’

  So they went to sit in the garden, holding hands like teenagers. Like lovers. Like old friends. They didn’t say anything, just enjoyed being together, as they had done from the time they first met. There weren’t many quiet moments like this with two youngsters in the house.

  Stu didn’t say anything more about himself and his problems, and Jane didn’t know whether she’d helped him or not. She hoped she had, but as he had to trust Rosie, she felt she had to trust her husband now.

  He’d never let her down before… but then he’d never had to face two painful crises at once before, either.

  Nor had she. She hoped none of them guessed how painful it was for her to see Brad again.

  * * *

  The following morning Gina felt disoriented when she woke up. Still half-asleep, she pulled the covers up to her chin to protect herself against some nameless terror, then remembered what had happened and let out a little noise that was half groan, half sigh.

  ‘You sound to be awake, dear.’

  She turned her head to see Bridie standing in the doorway that led to the bedroom, fully dressed, not a hair out of place.

  ‘For a minute I couldn’t think where I was.’

  ‘I’ll make you a cup of tea – or do you prefer coffee in the morning?’

  ‘Tea, but you don’t have to wait on me, Bridie.’

  ‘I’m having a cup myself now that it won’t disturb you if I put the kettle on. Would you like to use the bathroom? There’s a clean towel if you want a quick shower.’

  When she looked at herself in the mirror, Gina was horrified. She looked haggard, with dark circles under her eyes and that tell-tale bruise on one cheekbone. She had a shower and washed her hair, found her own hairdryer sitting on the surface, complete with its adaptor for English sockets. When she’d finished blow drying her hair, she looked a lot better – well, a bit better. There was nothing she could do about the bruise or the dark circles. She didn’t use much make-up and what little she’d brought had been in her stolen handbag, so she couldn’t hide anything. Well, the bruise would be gone in a few days.

  How long would her memories of the attack linger, though?

  When she went out into the sitting room again, Bridie was standing by the window, gazing down at the promenade. ‘There’s always something to see. I spend a lot of time these days spying on
my fellow human beings. There’s tea in the pot. We’ll go down to breakfast presently. Brad rang while you were having a shower. He’ll meet us in the dining room if we let him know when we’re ready.’

  ‘You’re both being so kind to me,’ Gina said wonderingly. ‘A complete stranger.’

  Bridie smiled. ‘Not a stranger now, surely? A friend now, I hope. How did you sleep?’

  ‘Not very well. I kept jerking awake. I can’t tell you how relieved I was each time to know you were next door.’

  ‘I was glad to be of use. Sadly, I’m afraid I have to leave for a few days, though you can stay in this room if you prefer it to yours. I can get you a key card.’

  ‘Are you going somewhere nice?’

  ‘I have to see a specialist in Preston every twelve months. I had breast cancer a few years ago and they like to check up on me, then I go to stay with an old friend who lives there afterwards. She’s housebound now and I know how much she looks forward to my visits, so I don’t like to let her down.’

  ‘How do you get there? Can I drive you?’ Gina flushed as she realized she had no money. ‘Oh! I’m sorry. I’ve no money for petrol. But if you’ll pay for some, I can take you.’

  ‘I’ve ordered a car, dear. I always use the same driver and I booked him last week. No need to trouble you. But I’ll give you my mobile number in case you need someone to talk to. I don’t go to bed until late and I’m usually up quite early. I’ll ring Brad now, shall I?’ She picked up the phone.

  When they left the room, Gina could feel herself tensing up, which was silly, because what could happen to her here inside the hotel when she wasn’t even on her own?

  She was glad to see Brad waiting for them in the lobby. And surprised at how much better she felt with him beside her.

  She wanted to clutch his hand like a frightened child. Oh, dear, she really must pull herself together.

  * * *

  Brad watched Gina walk across towards him, her hair shining but her face pale and strained. The bruise standing out lividly on her cheekbone made him feel angry all over again. ‘Are you all right? How did you sleep?’

  He saw Bridie watching him with a slight smile as if she could tell he was attracted to Gina and approved. Well, he was attracted. But now wasn’t the time to do anything about that.

  Once they’d finished breakfast, Bridie said she had to start packing and Gina went to get her things from her friend’s room. He could tell at once that she was nervous of staying on her own, but didn’t say anything, except to offer to carry the suitcase down for her.

  ‘I can manage. I shouldn’t be taking your time up like this,’ she protested.

  ‘I’ve nothing else to do with my time but hang around. I’m waiting to make a phone call. And actually, I’d welcome some company today… if that’s all right with you?’

  ‘You’re not just saying that?’

  ‘No.’ He saw Bridie giving him a nod, as if to encourage him to continue, but he’d have continued anyway. ‘I’d really enjoy spending the day with you.’

  ‘Oh… well… that’d be great.’

  By the time they’d said goodbye to Bridie, the banks were open.

  ‘I’d better take my passport,’ Gina said, looking round for something to carry it in and only finding a plastic bag.

  ‘That’s not safe. Let me put it in my inside pocket.’

  He went with Gina to fill in the forms. To her relief, when she produced the passport, the bank was willing to advance her some money from her account, but they could do nothing to hurry up the new credit card. Brad had to put the money in his pocket as well as the passport.

  ‘Thank goodness I kept my passport in my suitcase,’ she said as they walked away. ‘If I hadn’t, how would I have proved who I was?’

  ‘Why worry about that? You did have it.’

  She gave him a warm smile. ‘Yes, and I had two good friends as well. Even more important.’

  ‘It’s my pleasure to help you. Bridie’s, too, I’m sure.’

  ‘She’s a lovely woman. Her family should be shot for leaving her on her own.’

  ‘It happens.’ He saw an expression of pain cross Gina’s face and stopped walking to ask, ‘What did I say to upset you?’

  ‘Oh, talked about family. It’s a sore point. All my life I’ve wanted family and had none until my daughters were born. And here are these people ignoring Bridie.’

  He nodded. ‘I regard my family as a precious gift – even when they’re infuriating me.’ They began walking again. ‘What do you want to do now?’

  ‘Go shopping. I need a new handbag and purse. I’ll manage without makeup until I get my credit card back. I want to make this money spin out.’

  He noticed how she kept glancing round nervously, how she shrank back when someone came too close, so offered her his arm. She gave him a shy smile as she took it and didn’t draw away when he pulled her closer. It felt good to be walking so close to a woman again. No, be honest, he told himself, it felt good to be walking close to Gina.

  She bought a handbag then they found a shop dealing in mobile phones. After explaining the situation, to a chorus of oohs and ahs from the two sales assistants, Gina was asked to prove who she was and then was sold a basic phone on special offer with the same phone company she’d used before.

  ‘My handbag doesn’t feel as empty now,’ she said with a smile as they came out of the shop.

  ‘My arm does.’

  She gave him a long, considering look and he held his breath, hoping he’d not overstepped the mark. Then she moved closer.

  Be careful, Rosenberry, he told himself. Only he didn’t want to be careful. Why should he?

  It was as they were walking along a side street that he saw the sign in a real estate agency and pulled to a halt again, pointing to it: Self-catering holiday accommodation. ‘Do you still want to live more economically?’

  She nodded, staring at the sign. ‘I have to. Even with the special offer, the hotel costs more than I want to spend.’

  ‘I’m the same. How about we find what it costs to rent a flat? We could share one.’ When she stared at him, he added hastily, ‘A two-bedroom one, I’m not propositioning you. We both need to stay in the district for a while and it’s a bit lonely being a solo traveller, don’t you think? Outings are so much more pleasant when you’ve someone to share them with.’

  She remembered her lonely day in the Lake District. ‘Definitely.’

  ‘Let’s go in and at least find out what they have on offer.’

  * * *

  As Peggy got ready to go out, she stared at herself anxiously in the mirror. Her disturbed nights had given her a drawn, tired expression and her cheeks were a faded greyish white rather than pink. Her spectacles seemed to emphasize the wrinkles around her eyes. How long had she been looking so old and careworn? She’d always been more concerned to see to Hartley’s needs and get the house as perfect as possible than to think about titivating herself.

  Talk about attempting the impossible! She just wasn’t the sort to achieve perfection… not in anything. So today she’d be content to look neat and tidy for her counselling session.

  When she went downstairs, Jake was waiting for her, smiling. He smiled a lot, her brother. He was so easy to live with, she kept thinking she was dreaming.

  This time, when they got to the centre, she had no hesitation about waving goodbye to him and walking inside on her own. The receptionist greeted her cheerfully by name and in spite of the incident with Hartley, Peggy felt quite safe here because people stood by you if anything went wrong.

  Gillah came out to greet her and clasped her hand for a moment, holding it in both of hers and studying Peggy’s face, nodding as she let go of the hand as if she approved of what she saw.

  When they were settled in her cosy little room, Gillah leaned back and waited.

  Peggy knew it was up to her to initiate a conversation. It was hard to say it aloud and the words came out in a breathless rush. ‘I’ve decided
I want a divorce, only… I don’t know how to do it. And… I want to get my money back, my pension and I think I ought to have a share of the house. That’d be fair, wouldn’t it?’

  ‘Are you sure about the divorce? Isn’t it a little early for such a decision?’

  ‘That’s the thing I’m most certain about. I didn’t really know how other people lived because Hartley and I didn’t go out much, and we didn’t have any real friends only his business associates. Oh, I was so nervous whenever we went to company functions! He got furious if I said the wrong thing.’

  She looked at Gillah and at a nod, continued, ‘But even in the short time since I’ve left Hartley, I’ve learned so much and – and I know I’ve been a fool, a doormat. I just can’t understand why I put up with it for so long? Maybe he’s right. Maybe I am stupid.’

  She cried then, she couldn’t help it, she was so ashamed of her own cowardice.

  When the counselling session was over, Peggy left the centre with her head spinning with information and her hands full of leaflets about divorce.

  Jake was waiting for her outside and she hurried towards him, eager to share her treasure trove of information, sure that he wouldn’t mock her. It was a long time since she’d felt eager about anything. So they sat in the car and she told him what she’d discussed today.

  ‘And Gillah says it’d be much cheaper to get a divorce myself,’ she ended. ‘I’m not sure I can, but I’m going to try. There are sites on the internet which offer do-it-yourself kits and support if you need it, she says. I’m not very good with computers, but you’ve got one, haven’t you? Could you help me find out what I need to know?’

  ‘Of course I can. Nothing easier.’ He hesitated and added, trying to be fair, ‘If you’re really sure.’

  ‘I am. And… if you don’t mind bringing me here again and picking me up, I’d really like to continue with the meditation classes.’ She dared put a secret longing into words, knowing her brother wouldn’t mock her. ‘I want to try to make a few friends.’