Home Truths

by Sasha Goldie

  He kept going, showing my head attention with his mouth as his hand stroked me. One last time, he took me deep inside, letting his teeth slide down my shaft. It took me over the edge, and I exploded down his throat while he had me in as deep as he could take me.

  For a second, I thought he was going to choke, but then he swallowed me down before looking back up at me. "You can move your hands now."

  I grabbed his face and pulled him close, kissing him hard and desperately, my desire to keep him with me making me intense.

  "Are you okay?" he asked when our kiss slowed, and I pulled away.

  "Yes, but it's your turn."

  "No, I'm taking my hard-on upstairs to make dinner. Finish what you're doing down here then come eat." He stood and walked away, leaving me sitting in the chair with a softening dick, staring after him in awe.

  How had this happened? I wanted to be around him so much I hadn't even told him his part was here.

  21

  Nate

  What the hell was wrong with me lately? The cabinets were fully stocked but standing in front of them staring at ingredient options didn't help me make a decision. I couldn't decide if I should just sell the property to the conservationists. I couldn't decide if I should make some sort of commitment to Ian. Hell, I couldn't even decide what to make for dinner.

  One week in Three Lakes and I'd shifted from a confident, successful junior partner into a wishy-washy, successful junior partner.

  "Just make a decision, Nate, c'mon." Hearing my own voice in the silence of Ian's kitchen spurred me into action. First, the silence. I shut the cabinets and went to the living room to turn on Ian's stereo. No jazz, like he'd chosen. What had he been thinking? Studying the front of the stereo, I was pleased to find an auxiliary port. At least it wasn't a relic left by his parents.

  After a trip to the bedroom to grab the MP3 player that I'd forgotten I'd packed—or else I wouldn't have had to listen to all 2000s pop on the drive in—soon I had blues playing.

  Perfect music to cook by. Or eat. Or anything else we might decide to do after. I grinned at the cabinets as I contemplated my options again.

  He had chicken thawed, but nothing else, so chicken was my best bet. If only someone would lay out my life like the chicken. Thaw it out. Is that where I was? So focused on work that I was frozen? How hard would it be to change? Maybe what I’d always thought I wanted wasn’t what it seemed from the outside.

  Great. I opened the chicken and laid it out on the cutting board with one hand, keeping the other clean to hunt through drawers for one of those meat pounder thingies. I'd become a frozen chicken breast.

  I didn't even like breasts. Chuckling, I looked through Ian’s cabinets for spices.

  Seasoning the chicken with my clean hand, I contemplated my life choices. I hadn't made bad decisions. My career was solid, if not as ambitious as Crissy's yet. Even if I never rose to the next level, I'd be able to make a decent living doing exactly what I'd been doing. There was nothing wrong with wanting a successful career, or wealth.

  Was it enough? Or would moving up be too much?

  Damn it.

  The chicken in the oven, I cleaned up the counters and got out ingredients for a salad. Nice and easy. Why wasn't anything else nice and easy? Just making a decision about whether or not to make a decision gave me anxiety.

  My mind continued in that vein until I heard Ian walk up.

  "I'm going to clean up," he called. "Smells great in here." I heard the bathroom door close.

  "Take your time, the chicken still has ten minutes," I replied in a loud voice so he'd hear from the bathroom. I ran around and set the table, lit the candles, and filled the glasses.

  Emotions clogged my throat. A sense of finality loomed over our dinner. It felt like the end, a now or never sort of moment. My auction fast approached, then it would be over, whoever bought the property. All of it would be over.

  Ian walked in just as the oven dinged. "Sit," I told him. "I'm almost done."

  Smiling, he did as he was told, sitting down at the table and dishing out the salad for both of us.

  After serving the chicken onto a bed of rice, I joined Ian at the table.

  "Wow," he said, leaning over to press a kiss on my lips. "This is nice." He immediately took a bite of chicken. "I'm starving."

  I didn't reply, still feeling like I would have to say goodbye.

  I'd never gotten this far. Every relationship, if they could even be called that, had been over before they'd begun. I hadn't wanted them to go anywhere, except back home after a good time.

  This time, I didn't want things to end. Maybe that was why I was so horny when I’d walked in and saw Ian covered in grease, a little sweaty. He filled out his coveralls so well. Every thought had flown out of my head, and I just wanted to have my hands on him, damn the consequences.

  "You okay?" Ian put his fork down. "You seem pensive." He put his fingers on the top of my hand.

  Staring at his hand on mine, my mouth opened. "I'm good. I actually got some good news today." Why had I said that? I didn't want to get his hopes up. "The conservation, the one you told me about?"

  Ian nodded, his face lighting up. Damn. Now if it went to one of the developers, I'd have to disappoint him. I found that I desperately wanted to please him. To find a way to make his face light up.

  And here was just one bright, shining reason I didn't like relationships. It was far too easy to let someone down if you loved them.

  Love? What the hell? I nearly groaned before I continued. Now I’d gone and done it. "They're up for a grant. Combined with the fundraisers they've done, it makes them a viable candidate for the land purchase."

  I tried to look as excited as Ian did, but my apprehension at letting him down clouded my excitement. What would he think of me when I signed the paper to sell the land to a big-shot developer and giving myself a six-figure commission? Sure, I’d be set for life, but would I ever be able to truly be happy about my win if Ian’s disappointed face flashed through my mind every time I thought of it?

  Or maybe if I waived my commission, that would help offset the cost of the land for the conservationists. I’d heard of it being done, but it would take a lot of paperwork. It would probably be easier to just make a large donation to the conservation.

  This train of thought was driving me crazy. Questions about my job, my home, about Ian. It was time to act, not think. "Are you finished?" I looked pointedly at his plate.

  He looked down at his half-eaten chicken and salad he hadn't touched. "Uh."

  Ignoring his inquisitive face, I grabbed his hand. "Great, come here." He chuckled as I pulled him out of his chair and toward his bedroom.

  "Are you sure you're okay?" Ian asked as I pushed him against the wall just inside his bedroom door.

  "Mmmm, I just couldn't wait any longer after what we did in your shop." Yanking his shirt up, I pulled it over his head, desperate to feel him, be close to him. I was going to have to say goodbye very soon, and now that the time had grown closer, I wanted to do anything else, anything but walk away.

  He caught my mood, growing more frenzied in his movements. His fingers didn't move down the buttons on my shirt fast enough. With a small growl, he grabbed the material and yanked it apart, buttons flying.

  "Shit," I said, my mood going from desperate not to leave to desperately turned on. My cock pressed against the fly of my pants, aching to be near Ian, to be inside him. I pulled him by his hips toward the bed. "I need you now."

  As we moved, I unbuttoned my pants and let them drop, stepping out of my shoes. Ian hadn't put any shoes on after his shower, so I unbuttoned his pants, pushing them down with his help as my mouth found his again. He wiggled out of his underwear before grabbing my cock.

  His touch elicited passionate moans from me, exactly what I needed to calm the storm inside my chest. As our lips moved, so did his hands. We stood so close to each other, his dick pressing repeatedly against my stomach as he stroked mine up and down, the
back of his knuckles sliding up and down my stomach as he moved.

  Breaking the kiss, I looked down to watch him move. Every stroke up, he flexed his hips, pushing his own cock into my side. He was as desperate for my touch as I was for his.

  I stopped making him wait and wrapped my fingers around him. With a jerk of his hips, he pushed into my hand.

  Damn it, would I ever get enough of this man? He was like a drug. Why couldn’t I become addicted? Life wasn’t really so cruel that there wasn’t a way to work it out.

  Pulling away from him, I reached into his bedside table for a condom and lube. "Turn," I said commandingly, ready to be inside him and unwilling to wait.

  He raised his eyebrows at me, so I gave him a level stare. I wasn't kidding. He could say no, of course, but I didn't think he wanted to.

  With a smile, he turned, giving me exactly what I wanted. I ran my hands over his ass, relishing the feel of his smooth skin and strong muscles. As much as I wanted to be inside him, I took a moment to run my fingers up and down, teasing him as he bared himself to me. I dribbled the lube at the top of his crack and smoothed it down, massaging until I reached between his legs and stroked his cock with my slick hand. Ian bucked, arching his back and causing his ass to point up at me, a welcome sign just for me. I pulled my hand up and ripped the condom open with my teeth, sliding it down my aching shaft.

  Pressing my head against his entrance with one hand and reaching around his hips with the other to continue stroking him, I pushed slowly inside, giving him time to adjust to me.

  Ian moaned. "Slow," he whispered. "It's been a while."

  "I know," I replied, slowing to a stop, even though I wanted to press forward. His ass milked my cock, so tight around me that if the slight desensitization of the condom hadn't helped, I might've come immediately. Inch by slow inch, I crept into him, fighting the intense pleasure every step of the way.

  With a groan of relief, I press all the way inside him. "You're amazing," I said, stroking him while he adjusted to me.

  "Nate, move." Ian wiggled. "Fuck me."

  I needed no more prompting. I let go of his dick and grabbed his hips, fingers digging into his muscles as I thrust, slowly at first, my speed growing with each entrance. My orgasm built fast, Ian's tightness a delicious feeling. I squeezed his hips, pushing harder and faster as he used the bed to give himself leverage to push back into me.

  With a shout, my cum shot into the condom as I pressed as deep inside as I could, wrapping my arms around Ian and hugging him as I grabbed his dick, stroking him, kissing his back, relishing in the feel of him, the gift of himself that he'd given me. He came onto his shirt, still lying on the bed where it had landed when I'd yanked it off. When he finished, I gingerly extracted myself from him and threw the condom in his trash can. Throwing the soiled tee on the floor, we climbed into the bed together. Neither of us were really ready to sleep, but somehow I felt vulnerable and wanted Ian to hold me.

  He wrapped his arms around me so I could burrow my head into his chest, smelling him. He had the ever-present smell of the shop, but it was faint. He smelled comforting and sexy. "This is what I needed," I said into his skin, my anxiety gone. Changes were coming, but we'd figure them out.

  Ian

  Nate's soft hair tickled my chest as I lazily swirled my fingers through it. Something had been eating at him before he'd dragged me into the bedroom. He'd been almost frantic to fuck me. As we lay in bed after, enjoying the feel of each other, I couldn't help but feel like this might be the end of it. His auction was coming, his car would be ready tomorrow. It was almost over. What was there to hold him here? He liked living in the city. I didn't. I could handle the thought of giving Portland a chance, but what if he didn't even want me to?

  With a sigh, I came clean. "Your part came today." A rock dropped in my gut as I said the words.

  Nate twisted his head up to look at me. "Oh, yeah?" He looked concerned, but not disappointed.

  "I'll have it fixed within a few hours tomorrow morning." I tried not to let my sadness show on my face as I looked down at him. "You'll be ready in time for your meeting."

  Nate smiled. "Thank you. It'll be nice to be able to go without having to borrow your car." He snuggled into me again, his hand roaming my chest and stomach.

  If I had my way, we would’ve been like that forever. We'd always have been able to fuck away something bothering us and snuggle after, the casual touch of each other comforting and familiar.

  "This has been great," he whispered. "Certainly the best work trip fling I've ever had." He ran his fingers lazily over my skin as he spoke.

  My stomach clenched as the words left his mouth. I hadn't been sure what should happen or would happen, but one thing I had not considered my time with Nate as was a fling. The humiliation made my throat tight and my chest heave. He hadn't viewed our relationship the same way I had.

  I'd been considering moving, changing my entire life to accommodate a fledgling relationship with a Nate, but he'd just wanted a place to stay and a warm body to fuck. That’s all I’d been to him.

  Damn it. "Yeah, it's been fun, definitely." I kissed the top of his head and disentangled myself from him. "I need the bathroom," I whispered. If I didn't get away from him, I wouldn't be able to hide my disappointment at his words. He smiled and stretched, rolling away so I could get up. Tears fell hot as I escaped the room.

  I took as long as possible in the bathroom, slowly brushing my teeth, then pulling out the floss I only remembered to use every once in a while. After a thorough flossing, neatening up the bathroom, brushing my hair, wiping off the counter, and straightening the towels, I walked back to the bedroom.

  Nate was asleep, curled around one of my pillows with a content expression on his face. The blankets had slipped off of his firm ass. I looked at it with longing, lamenting what would never be, and walked into the room.

  Fighting tears—seriously, the last time I'd cried was when my dad died—I slid into bed beside him, curling my body around his. If this was our last night together, at least I could hold him and pretend it wasn't going to crash around me the next day.

  How had I gotten so attached so fast? What a fool I was.

  22

  Nate

  The next morning, my alarm went off in the kitchen where I'd left it beside the uneaten food on the table. By the time I rolled out of bed and found it, it had been going off for more than five minutes. I turned it off, then stumbled, still naked, to the bathroom to brush my teeth and shower. There was no sign of Ian, but the door to the garage was unlocked. I checked as I passed it on the way to the bathroom.

  I couldn't believe his response the night before. I'd mentioned how we'd had a fling, looking for him to disagree with me or give me some sign that he'd been feeling the same way I had about our time together. Like it could potentially go somewhere if we were willing to make some changes in our lives to accommodate each other. I'd been seriously considering altering large parts of my life, making huge changes, just to give this week-long relationship a chance.

  Apparently, he wasn't. I said fling and he'd just... agreed. It hadn't meant the same thing to him. I'd mistaken his kindness and generosity as attraction and desire, and a longing for something more. What a fool I was.

  After my shower, I opened my laptop, searching for hotels in Bend. I could stay there now, as soon as my car was done. I didn't have to be in Three Lakes. I knew the land, the auction was set for the bluff. Everything was in place. No reason for me to stay. No reason to hurt myself by being around him.

  One of the larger hotel chains had a room, so I booked it and paid online, my heart sinking as I hit confirm. It had felt like a goodbye last night because apparently, that was exactly what it had been. If he’d wanted a fling, he should’ve said so. I was the king of flings. What I felt for him was so much more than that.

  I kept myself busy as I waited for Ian to finish my car by cleaning up his apartment. He'd shown me generosity, after all, and I couldn't leave
without changing the sheets and doing what I could to leave the place nice.

  The car took several hours. I had time to pack, wash a load of laundry, vacuum the whole place, wipe down the kitchen, and dust the living room. As I put the last photograph back on the shelf, I heard Ian's boots on the stairs. Quickly dashing to throw the dust rag into the laundry off the kitchen, I made it back to the hall in time to meet Ian as he opened the door.

  "It's almost finished," he said brightly just as my stomach growled.

  "You're hungry," Ian said, moving to the kitchen. "I'll make sandwiches. I was just coming up for a drink, but let's have lunch really quick." He reached for the faucet.

  "No, it's okay, really. I can get something on the way." The last thing I wanted to do was sit through an uncomfortable meal. He’d made his feelings clear, it was time to break it off.

  He froze in the act of washing his hands. "On the way?"

  "To Bend. I, uh. Well, I booked a hotel room there. So I don't have to impose on you anymore." Impose, ha. He’d just wanted a fuck. And I’d bought right into it, paying for my room and board with my body.

  Ian grabbed the towel I'd carefully hung on the stove handle to dry his hands. "I see." He grabbed simple sandwich stuff from the fridge and slapped a couple of ham and cheese sandwiches together, his movements a little jerky.

  Wrapping both in paper towels, he handed one to me. "I'll eat in the shop. I don't want to take too long."

  He was the one that thought this was just a fling. He hadn't corrected me the night before. Why was he so upset, then? "Ian, wait." Maybe we needed to talk about it a little more.

  "No, it's no big deal." He turned back to look at me, but his bright smile was forced. "I'll be done in a jiffy." He whirled around, and my heart finished breaking as he left.