The Minute I Saw You

by Paige Toon

  I nod determinedly and get to my feet, clicking my fingers to move Bertie out of the way. ‘See you later,’ I say to her, giving her head a pat before remembering to grab the bottle of Prosecco from the fridge and the roses I picked earlier for Matilda.

  Following Sonny out the door, I pull it shut behind me.

  Sonny is driving tonight – he didn’t want to drink – and he’s managed to park on the road right outside. When we’re shut up together in the confined space of his dad’s car, I realise that our laughter hasn’t dispelled the nervy feeling in my stomach. In fact, my butterflies have whipped themselves up into a whirlwind.

  I can’t think of anything to say. I’m glad he’s driving because I need a drink. I should have bloody well walked.

  ‘Oh, I got a text from Rochelle earlier,’ he says when we’re out of Grantchester and are on the hedge-lined country road leading towards town.

  I’m relieved that he’s broken the silence, but his voice is artificially nonchalant.

  ‘Did you? What did it say?’

  ‘Thanks for helping out earlier. She says I can do something with the girls on Saturday.’

  ‘That’s great!’

  ‘Yeah. And she said to say thanks to you too.’

  ‘That’s nice.’

  ‘Yeah.’

  Seconds tick by. I frown and stare out of the window as we pass a couple of college sports fields.

  ‘What will you do with them?’ I think to ask, turning back to him.

  ‘I don’t know yet. Depends on whether she’ll let me take them out of Hauxton.’

  ‘Why don’t you suggest canoeing?’

  ‘Have you got life jackets?’

  ‘Only adult ones.’

  ‘I could buy some,’ he muses as the green spaces on either side of the road give way to semi-detached houses.

  He flicks on his indicator and turns right.

  ‘I’ve never been to Archie and Matilda’s house,’ I say, looking out of Sonny’s side window at the small double-storey tawny-brick Victorian houses lining the entire length of the road. They’re accessed directly from the pavement and have no front gardens, so they’re only distinguishable from each other by their painted doors and the numbers hanging outside.

  ‘It’s cool. Archie’s got a good eye for design.’

  Our friends live behind a teal-coloured door – Matilda answers it when we knock.

  ‘Hello!’ she says, beaming and embracing me before backing up into the hallway.

  ‘Hey, guys!’ Archie calls from behind her, lifting his hand in a merry wave.

  I squeeze past Matilda to exchange a cheek kiss with Archie while Sonny and Matilda greet each other behind me, but Archie waits until we’re in the kitchen with more room to move before giving Sonny a friendly hug. The sight of their easy affection fills me with warmth.

  Sonny is right: behind the uniform outward appearance of the house is a stylishly designed interior.

  The kitchen has light-grey walls on one side and a slightly darker grey central island, but the rest of it is decorated in a palette of greens and blues, from the pale-green wall tiles to the teal-coloured cabinets and the emerald pendant lights hanging over the island. To the front of the house is the living room, and I can see through the open double doors that the colour scheme is predominantly greens and yellows. To the back of the house is a new extension opening up onto the garden and containing a dining table that seats six.

  ‘Your place is amazing!’ I exclaim, distractedly handing Matilda the roses, a selection of June’s brightest – the colours scream summer.

  ‘These are beautiful,’ she enthuses, going to a low kitchen cupboard and bringing out an opaque white vase. ‘Archie’s the designer around here. I fell in line.’

  I stop nosing around and proffer the bottle of Prosecco. ‘I brought this too.’

  ‘There was no need,’ she says, filling the vase with water. ‘But thank you. Archie, can you . . .?’

  ‘Sure.’ He drags his attention away from Sonny’s collection of fancy-looking beer bottles – Sonny brought them along, even though he’s not drinking – and gets a couple of flutes out of the cupboard.

  When our drinks have been poured, we head outside to the garden. It’s long and narrow and looks straight out onto one of the college playing fields – Downing College, as I discover when I ask.

  ‘How long have you lived here?’

  ‘About two years,’ Matilda replies as we all sit down at a sleek bench table made out of weathered silvery-looking wood.

  There’s an array of snacks set out: nuts, olives, crisps and dip served in jewel-coloured bowls.

  ‘Archie used to live on the other side of town, but agreed to come this way,’ she adds with a smile.

  Matilda’s dad lived on one of the roads close to where we work in a two-storey Victorian detached. She pointed it out to me once when we were going for a walk at lunchtime. Selling it enabled her to buy this place outright, leave her boring job in London and finance a new life and career up here with Archie, but I sense her current happiness is bitter-sweet. She and her dad were close.

  ‘This is a much nicer area,’ Archie acknowledges. ‘But my place was handy for your degree.’

  ‘It was. And your work. I’m sorry.’

  He grins at her and reaches across to brush his knuckle across her cheek. I think he’d agree to live in the arse end of nowhere if that’s what she wanted.

  ‘Oh, guess what!’ I chirp. ‘I found Charles’s canoe earlier and cleaned it up. Sonny helped.’ I feel compelled to give him credit.

  ‘I hardly did anything.’ He bats it back to me.

  ‘Anyway, it’s ready to go if we want to use it sometime.’

  ‘Definitely!’ Archie exclaims. ‘How about this weekend, if the weather comes good again?’

  ‘We could canoe into Cambridge and have a few drinks?’ Matilda suggests excitedly. ‘Are you free Saturday night?’

  ‘I am, tragically,’ I reply and we all look at Sonny.

  He nods. ‘I’ve got the girls Saturday daytime, but Rochelle will probably want them back in time for dinner.’

  ‘What are you going to do with them?’ Matilda asks.

  ‘Funnily enough, Hannah has offered us the canoe. I’ve nly got to persuade Rochelle to let me take them out in it.’

  ‘How could she have a problem with that?’ Archie asks with a frown.

  ‘She’s still keeping me on a tight leash,’ Sonny replies.

  We come up with a plan in the event that Rochelle agrees:

  Archie will help Sonny take the canoe down to the Cam while Matilda and I are at work on Saturday. Sonny can go out with his daughters in the afternoon, and then Archie will man the boat while Sonny drops the girls home. Matilda and I will head to the river straight from work.

  I’m already looking forward to it. I feel lucky to have made such lovely new friends. And we’ve still got a whole evening ahead of us.

  Chapter 13

  Over dinner we get into a conversation about TV. Neither Charles nor Sonny’s parents have Netflix or Sky, and Sonny in particular has been going a bit stir crazy of an evening. His parents are addicted to soap operas and, with only one TV in the house, it’s been a challenge for them to find something they all want to watch together.

  As for me, I’ve been working my way through a couple of DVD box sets that I picked up from a charity shop, but it’s been kind of lonely. Charles was never one for watching television – he preferred to talk, read or play cards and board games – so I used to go to Danielle and Nina’s houses to get my telly fixes. There was something so lovely about watching TV with a friend, sharing the experience at the same time and talking about it afterwards – I’m nostalgic for it.

  When Archie brings up Stranger Things, a TV series that he and Matilda are yet to start watching but which is set in the eighties and references everything from The Goonies to E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial, Sonny and I get excited. We share a mutual love for eighties films,
it turns out.

  ‘Shall we watch the first episode now?’ Matilda asks eagerly. ‘We could make it our thing!’

  I love this idea and so do the boys, so we enthusiastically file inside, collecting empty plates and bottles as we go.

  There are photo frames on the mantelpiece in the living room and while I’m waiting, I take a closer look. There’s one photo of a man, aged about sixty, with his arm around Matilda, captured at Christmas I think, from the presence of fairy lights in the background. He has a wide, open face with thinning brown hair falling down slightly across his forehead.

  ‘Is this your dad?’ I ask Matilda as she joins me.

  ‘Yeah,’ she replies.

  ‘You have the same smile.’

  In the photograph they’re beaming, but her expression is miserable now.

  ‘I’m sorry you lost him too soon,’ I murmur.

  ‘Thanks.’ She arm-bumps her gratitude before going to the coffee table to put down two large bowls of popcorn.

  She returns to the kitchen, shooing off my help, so I sit cross-legged on the floor next to the oversized armchair, leaving the two-seater sofa free for Archie and Matilda. Sonny comes through and offers to sit on the floor instead.

  ‘I’m happy,’ I reply. ‘If my bum gets numb, I’ll squeeze onto that with you.’

  I’m not wholly serious, but he says, ‘All right,’ and seems to be sincere.

  Matilda and Archie join us and start up their own protests about seating arrangements.

  ‘We can take the snuggler seat,’ Matilda offers.

  Is that what it’s called?

  By the time I’ve convinced her I’m content, I’ve had to get a bit stroppy.

  ‘Fine, we’ll sit there next time,’ she decides.

  *

  The show is properly creepy. I love it.

  About half an hour in, I shift and rest my back against the right-hand side of the armchair, stretching my legs out in front of me and crossing them at the ankles. As I sweep my long hair over my right shoulder, Sonny’s knee becomes visible out of the corner of my left eye, so I’m aware when his leg begins to jiggle.

  I glance over my shoulder at him. ‘Are you scared?’ I whisper teasingly.

  He plays along and nods, wide-eyed, before edging across to the left-hand side of the chair. He pats the empty space he’s created.

  I act without thinking.

  Now we’re actively pressed up against each other, the entire left-hand side of my body firmly connecting with his right. I can feel his chest expanding with every breath and it’s making my heart feel all skippy and skittery.

  The tension is building on the TV, which adds to the tension I’m already feeling. I know there’s a jump-out-of-my-skin moment coming, but I still act accordingly when it arrives.

  Sonny chuckles. Then he murmurs, ‘Excuse me,’ and slowly and deliberately leans across me to place his empty bottle on the side table. In doing so, I’m exposed to a direct hit of my new favourite drug.

  ‘What the hell?’ I mutter as he retreats, and the look he casts me tells me he knew exactly what he was doing.

  His eyes – navy in this light – are glittering with amusement.

  ‘Are you trying to drive me crazy?’ I ask in the same barely there voice.

  ‘I don’t know what you mean,’ he replies innocently.

  I’m certain the warning he gave me earlier was genuine, so this feels a whole lot like playing with fire. If we get burnt, the blame is squarely in his corner.

  I lose whatever control I had and lean towards him, pressing my nose against his warm skin and inhaling deeply. I feel him shudder beneath me and the blood coursing through my veins picks up speed, making me giddy with something that feels dangerously like lust.

  ‘What was that?’ Matilda’s perturbed voice breaks us apart. ‘She just sniffed his neck!’ she exclaims as Sonny throws his head back and laughs.

  Matilda lets out a groan and buries her face in her hands.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Archie asks her with amusement.

  She lifts her head and stares at me forlornly. ‘You.’ She looks at Sonny. ‘And you. You’re into each other, aren’t you?’

  ‘It’s all under control,’ Sonny states, trying to keep a straight face and failing massively.

  I notice he didn’t deny it.

  ‘I have promised Hannah that I won’t try to sleep with her,’ he continues facetiously. ‘And Hannah has promised me that she won’t let me try to sleep with her, so we’re all good.’

  ‘Oh. That’s awesome to hear,’ Matilda says sarcastically as a thrill zips through me.

  ‘Does this agreement have an expiry date?’ Archie asks with a grin.

  ‘Oh, once my six months are up, I’m making no promises,’ Sonny replies flippantly, giving me a cocky grin that reminds me of how he was on the day we met.

  ‘Six months, now, is it? Not a year?’ I ask.

  ‘Six months is plenty.’

  I stare at him for a long moment. ‘I’ll be gone by then anyway,’ I say flatly, twirling a lock of hair around my finger.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I’m only here until Charles comes back.’

  ‘When’s that? The end of September?’

  I nod.

  ‘Where will you go?’ Matilda asks, and she sounds put out now too.

  I shrug. ‘I don’t know yet. I might pop down to Australia for a while to catch up with my parents.’

  ‘Where do they live?’

  ‘South Australia,’ I reply. ‘On a houseboat.’

  ‘Cool!’ Matilda says.

  ‘They like it.’

  My dad’s Australian, but he met my mum when they were travelling around Europe. After they were married, they settled in the UK, but when I was in my final year of school, my dad’s mother – my only remaining grandparent – fell ill so they decided to go back to Australia to take care of her. It was supposed to be a temporary arrangement, but they made it permanent, selling everything they owned on land and reinvesting in a home on water.

  ‘You’re only going on holiday though, right?’ Sonny is frowning at me.

  ‘I’m not sure. Anyway, aren’t you returning to Amsterdam at the end of the summer?’

  He shrugs. ‘I’ve been thinking about moving back here permanently.’

  ‘Really?’ Archie interjects.

  Sonny nods.

  This information makes me feel oddly unsettled.

  Chapter 14

  It’s Saturday and I’m at work, polishing lenses and willing the hours to pass quicker. They’re not complying.

  ‘Any plans for tonight?’ Abbey asks me casually, leaning so far back in her chair that it wouldn’t surprise me if she put her feet on her desk.

  Our next client is not due for another twenty minutes and it has been deathly quiet in the shop today. After four days straight of rain, we woke up this morning to glorious blue skies, so everyone seems to be out in the sun, enjoying themselves.

  It’s a perfect day for messing around on the river. I’m so pleased for Sonny that Rochelle agreed to let him take the girls out.

  ‘I’m heading into town on a canoe,’ I jubilantly reply to Abbey’s question. ‘Can’t wait. What about you?’ I reach for the Kilsgaards – the same ones Sonny ended up buying. I hardly ever see him wearing them.

  ‘Dale and I are going to Cecily and Ricky Dick’s.’ Dale’s her boyfriend, Cecily is her sister and ‘Ricky Dick’ is Cecily’s husband Richard. I’m not sure he’s aware of his nickname. ‘All the work is done now, so we’re toasting the opening.’

  I flash her a quizzical look, while continuing with my polishing. ‘Opening?’

  ‘Their Airbnb,’ she says. ‘That’s what Cessy’s been doing: converting their garage into a studio flat that they can rent out.’

  ‘Oh, right! I had no idea that’s what she was up to. Has it gone live online yet?’

  ‘Nah, she didn’t want to risk putting it up on the website until the work was
done, but she reckons it’ll get booked up fast. It’s a great location and very reasonable price-wise.’

  I pause what I’m doing. ‘Do you think she might be interested in a short-term rental?’

  *

  As if the day weren’t already passing slowly. Now I have to contend with the added anticipation of telling Sonny that I might’ve found him somewhere to live. Abbey called Cecily to ask about it and she jumped at the idea, even going so far as to say she’d agree to a vastly reduced price if Sonny could move in straight away. I’m gutted I don’t have his number because I’d text him if I could – he keeps turning up on my doorstep unannounced so it hasn’t occurred to me to exchange contact details.

  Yesterday evening was the first time I regretted that we hadn’t. I knew he was supposed to be seeing Evelyn and I’d assumed he’d have the last appointment of the day like he had previously, so I found myself twiddling my thumbs, waiting for him. When I heard Evelyn leaving, I impulsively ran outside and flagged her down.

  ‘Did Sonny come to see you earlier today?’ I asked.

  The look on her face mortified me. ‘I can’t discuss my clients, Hannah,’ she said with regret.

  ‘Of course! Sorry!’ I blurted. ‘I was only worried about him, but I’m sure he’s fine!’

  Properly cringe-inducing. I went straight indoors and gave myself a stern talking to.

  Matilda later texted me to say that we were all set for today’s plan, with Archie and Sonny coming to collect the boat at midday.

  I left the canoe in the garden with the paddles inside. Sonny would no doubt have sorted kids’ life jackets.

  It bothers me how much I wanted to see him last night, and it alarms me how much I’m looking forward to seeing him this evening. I don’t like being sidetracked by a man – nothing positive can come from it. I’ll need to think of something else to consume my headspace.

  *

  When five o’clock finally comes around, I nip into the staff bathroom to get changed before saying goodbye to Umeko and collecting Bertie from Robert.

  Bertie used to love going out in the canoe with Charles, but it’s been years since he took her, so I hope she’ll be okay in it tonight.

  Matilda exits the pharmacy as I’m saying goodbye to Robert.