by Cara Bristol
“We have talked about many things.”
“He didn’t tell you the truth.”
“He has lied to me? About what?” What did Ardu know that I didn’t? He’d had limited contact with Madison.
“Go speak to him. Tell him you have seen me, and if I don’t hear from you by the start of the welcoming feast, then I will tell you the truth.”
“Why can’t you tell me now?”
“It is better to come from…him. Especially in light of what you have shared. If he refuses to tell you, then I will.” Ardu clapped me on the shoulder. “You, my friend, are about to get the answers to your questions.”
Chapter Thirteen
Madison
Where was the compression band? Naked from the waist up, I dug through the pockets of my kel. I’d grabbed it before I’d left the bath cave, hadn’t I? Could I have dropped it in the snow?
I hoped not. I’d have to go back for it. I had to have it!
After bathing, with Enoki gone, I’d decided to give my boobs a break, so I’d left if off for a while. It was getting late, they were planning a big celebratory feast, and I had to assume Enoki would return soon.
Where, where, could I have left it? I flung back the top fur of the bed. There! Whew. I snagged it as the cabin door slammed against the wall.
I stifled a scream and clutched the band to my chest. Oh crap. Oh crap. Oh crap.
“Sorry.” Enoki grabbed for the door. “It got away from me.”
My heart thudded. He hadn’t seen!
“I have good news for you,” he said.
“Oh?” Trying to act as if my heart wasn’t leaping out of my chest, I adjusted the fabric to cover as much surface area as I could and visually ransacked the room. Where was the damn tunic? There—on the chair. I grabbed it and covered my front with it, feeling a tad more secure with more fabric. I needed to put it on, but I couldn’t do it without showing my breasts. Goose bumps broke out on my skin, and I shivered in the chill.
“Your ship is coming the day after tomorrow.”
“Andrea works fast! She’s amazing.”
“Andrea is amazing,” he said. “Dakon owes her a huge debt of gratitude for everything she has done. But your people had discovered you were missing and had turned back to come get you.”
The heater kicked up to high to compensate for the sudden temperature drop, but the hut wasn’t warm yet. Enoki slipped off his kel, giving no sign the chill affected him. Dakonians had acclimated to their frigid conditions. The room probably seemed warm to him. Of course, he wasn’t the one standing almost topless. One slip, and my secrets would be exposed.
He combed his fingers through his hair, mussed by the hood, and rubbed a swollen, throbbing horn.
I inched toward the room with the pelletizer to pull on the tunic and realized I’d grabbed one of Enoki’s, not mine. Mine lay on the floor by the kel bed. Quickly, I snatched it up. Now I had two shirts and a compression band, none of which I was actually wearing.
Enoki’s eyes narrowed, focusing on my chest, before raising his gaze to my face. “Is there something you were supposed to tell me?”
Heat flooded me in a wave of guilt. He knows.
No, he doesn’t. How could he? I glanced at myself. Still covered. “Like what?”
“The truth—according to Ardu.”
Damn that meddling Dakonian…meddler.
I shrugged and faked a smile and shuffled toward the other room. “I have no clue what he’s talking about.” I’d been living the lie for so long—a couple of years now—it was hard to let go of it. I’d never visit Dakon again—as soon as I got back to Earth, I would quit my job. I had been running away. I’d been so devastated by Matt’s death, I’d done everything possible to avoid getting hurt again. I’d hopped on the first spaceship out of the star system I could get. A spaceship full of women. Just in case I happened to run into men, I’d donned a disguise to discourage their interest.
Maybe I’d gone off the rails a tad.
The time had come to get my crap together. Return to Earth, get a real life, and start living. I’d loved Matt, I’d grieved for him, but I had a future—if I allowed myself to have one.
Enoki’s soulful dark-brown eyes radiated confusion, his horns twitching, poking out of his adorably mussed hair. He reminded me of a huge alien teddy bear. A hot, sexy alien teddy bear. The kind of alien teddy bear with the power to entice me to do something crazy like stay on this frozen, primitive planet. Wouldn’t it be wild if I applied to the exchange program?
However, any old alien wouldn’t suffice. Unfortunately, the Dakonian lottery granted a slim chance of getting the man of my choice. Enoki would have to follow the rules and go through the whole process with no guarantee he would get me. And that’s assuming he was interested. Seeing how he’d known me as a man, I’d probably locked myself in the friend zone.
I doubted employees could apply to the exchange program, and even if they could, after falsifying my application, I’d be blacklisted. The program wouldn’t accept a liar and a scam artist.
While returning to Dakon seemed enticing, it belonged in the realm of fantasy. I belonged on Earth with my loving parents, an annoying brother who secretly doted on me but would never admit it, sunny weather, indoor plumbing, automobiles, airplanes, unlimited chocolate and coffee, and life-enhancing, labor-saving technology.
As they said, one could love a man from a technologically advanced civilization as easily as one from a primitive society. Okay, maybe they didn’t say that, but they should.
Enoki continued to stare at me. The situation was getting a little awkward. I’d promised Ardu I’d tell him the truth—but if the promise had been coerced, was it still binding? What was holding me back, anyway? I had no job to protect.
What about my heart?
Enoki folded his arms and speared me with his gaze. His expression hardened, and I could see what others saw—a tribe chief, the leader of all of Dakon, a man with power, a man who could charm, but who didn’t shirk from hard challenges.
If I intended to put my life on track, I should begin with the truth. If I didn’t tell him, Ardu would—and Enoki would not appreciate getting information from an outside source.
“What’s going on, Madison? You’re hedging, fidgeting, and clutching those tunics like you’re trying to hide. What are you not telling me? What does Ardu know that I don’t?”
My knees shook. “I’m…I’m…a woman.” I lowered my arms to my sides and let both tunics and the band fall to the floor.
Enoki’s jaw dropped.
I scrambled for a tunic and pulled it on, donning his by mistake. At least three sizes too large, it hung on me like a sack, but I wasn’t about to switch them right now. I crossed my arms.
He scrutinized my face then regarded me from head to foot. His lip curled. “It’s so obvious. Kuph!” He cursed, the Dakonian version of fuck, although the word actually translated to kel testicle. His face darkened, the color deepening and spreading over his face and neck. “How stupid could I be?”
His lips tightened, and he jerked his head as if he couldn’t stand the sight of me. Enoki was mad. Pissed. I could see the anger growing. I’d embarrassed him. He felt duped. I rubbed my hands together as if I could wash this whole matter away. I wished now I’d told him sooner. My reasons for keeping silent seemed flimsy and ridiculous, the entire charade preposterous.
Enoki felt like a fool, but I was the clown. “I’m sorry. I should have told you.”
“Yes.” His eyes flashed. “Kuph! I should have noticed.” He motioned, pointing at and dismissing me in the same gesture. “Was anything you told me true? Why, Madison? Is your name even Madison?”
“Yes, my name is Madison. It’s a unisex name on Earth. Everything I told you was true—other than my gender. I didn’t lie about anything else.”
My denial angered him more. “I’m the tribe leader! The whole camp is laughing at me, waiting for me to disco
ver the young man I rescued is female.”
“No…it’s not like that. Nobody knows.”
“Ardu knew!”
“Only because of the bioscan,” I fibbed a little. I grappled for a way to fix this, to soothe his feelings. “Icha thought I was a man. She made a pass at me.”
Mentioning Icha was the wrong thing to say. Enoki’s face darkened like the sky during a blizzard at dusk.
“You and Ardu are the only two,” I reiterated quickly. Garnet didn’t count because she was my bestie from Earth—unless she confided in Kellian, which I doubted. She wouldn’t break girl code.
“I can’t talk to you anymore.” Enoki grabbed his kel and stormed out of the cabin.
Freezing air swirled inside before the door slammed, but I hardly noticed the cold. I had the feeling I’d made the worst mistake of my life—but I wasn’t sure what the mistake was.
Chapter Fourteen
Enoki
I left the hut in a fever of emotion. How could I have spent time with her and not seen she was female? Was I blind? Her gender was evident in the delicate curve of her face, the lush lashes framing her eyes, the bow of her lips. Even without seeing her breasts, I should have noticed the swell of her hips, the shapeliness of her legs. Her mannerisms, the way she spoke, her choice of words—the way she’d screamed as the skimmer had flown over the hill—giveaways, every one. What I had attributed to youth or her alien culture had been indicative of her gender.
I stomped through the snow. Tribe members readied the camp for the feast. From a distance and though they wore thick, hooded kels, I easily distinguished females from the males—yet I’d not noticed the one under my nose. Embarrassment burned, a red-hot coal of humiliation at the way I’d bared my feelings to her, confessed my longing for a mate, not realizing she was female, not realizing she was my female.
That’s why Ardu had insisted I talk to Madison—he’d realized it, too. Now I understood why my horns throbbed, why I derived pleasure and satisfaction from her presence and watching her, why I felt such responsibility to protect her, why I’d liked her the moment we’d met, and why I dreaded her departure.
The whispers had originated from the Fates. They’d chosen Madison for me and had been trying to guide me.
Terrans denied the influence of the Fates, refused to see or accept the signs. My mate had repudiated me. She had pretended to be a man rather than come to me. Though she intended to leave, I still wanted her. Wanted her more, now that I knew she was mine.
I found myself at Ardu’s hut.
The door opened as I raised my hand to knock. His perceptive gaze studied my face. “She told you.”
“Why didn’t you?” I demanded without rancor. I couldn’t blame him, much as I wished I could. Madison’s gender had been so obvious. Could I fault Ardu for not pointing out the snow on the ground?
“I felt she should have the opportunity to tell you herself. I would have if she hadn’t.” He stepped aside and held the door wide. “Come in?”
I entered, and he poured two ales without asking. “Sit,” he said, and placed a tankard on the table.
I took a drink, wiped the foam from my mouth, and hung my head. “How am I fit to lead this tribe if I cannot see what’s in front of my face?”
“Fault lies with the deceiver, not the one who is deceived. Do not let this be your measuring stick. You couldn’t have known. You are astute and even-tempered, fair and just. No one is better suited than you to be tribe chief and to head the Council of Dakon.”
“You knew she was female,” I pointed out.
He shook his head. “I’m used to studying nuances to diagnose ailments. I noticed certain traits, but until the bioscan confirmed her gender, I wasn’t certain.”
I took another gulp of ale. “At least I’m not going insane.”
Ardu’s bark of laughter was cut short when he glanced at my face.
“Voices in the wind, in my head, insisted my mate was coming, but I didn’t draw a chit. The ship came, and although I didn’t get to choose a female, the voices continued to insist she was here. I began to doubt the Fates had spoken to me at all.”
“The Fates are never wrong. Often cryptic, but never wrong,” he said.
“Madison is my mate,” I said.
Ardu nodded. “After our last conversation, I figured as much. That’s why I urged you to talk to her. I feared she would leave without you learning the truth.”
“She still intends to leave.” I twisted my mouth. “I’m helping her go.” The ship would have returned for her anyway, but I’d gone to see Andrea.
“You could keep her here.”
“Ward her?” I shook my head. “I couldn’t do that. Detaining her wouldn’t be right, and I would have a bigger problem on my hands.”
Ardu twisted his lips wryly. “I meant you could send the ship away. Refuse to let it land.”
“That wouldn’t be right, either. If she found out, she would be furious, and she would hate me.”
“Then your other option is to persuade her. Let her see you are meant to be together. Show what her what life could be like with you on Dakon.”
“Ice, blizzards, primitive living conditions, and desolation?”
“That doesn’t deter other Earth females from coming here.”
“They choose to come here. Madison never intended to stay.”
“You have an advantage other men don’t.”
“What would that be?”
“You already know each other. You have spent time together. The other females get chosen by men they have never met.”
“We are…friends,” I admitted. Maybe it was a small advantage.
“Show her how much you already care for her.”
I did care for her. The mating bond had formed before I knew she was my female; I just hadn’t realized it. The energy coursing through me causing my blood to burn, my horns to pulse had been desire. She’d hurt me, angered me, but I still wanted her. More than ever. The truth had opened my eyes and my heart.
“Bring her to the welcome feast tonight so she can see a positive side of Dakon. She’ll observe how much the men revere their females—and then afterward you can demonstrate how much you care for her.”
I gaped at the suggestion. “Get her to share my kels?” My loins heated at the mere mention of engaging in relations with Madison.
He raised his hands. “I wasn’t suggesting that, specifically. How you persuade her is up to you. Although physical relations can forge an emotional connection.”
Or it could do nothing. Icha engaged in relations with many men, none of whom she’d developed strong feelings for.
After having shared my kels, if Madison went back to Earth, my loss would be much greater. I didn’t wish her to share my kels for a night, I wanted her for a lifetime. Isn’t it worth the risk? If she left, and I hadn’t done everything in my power to persuade her to stay, I’d regret it for the rest of my life.
Ardu looked at me. “Her ship arrives in two days?”
“Yes.”
“Then you have two days to persuade her.”
I downed the remainder of my ale. “I’d better start now.” I stood up. “Your counsel is wise.”
He laughed. “I don’t know if it’s wise or not. Let’s see if it works.”
“You would make a good tribe leader,” I said.
He shook his head. “Don’t put that on me. I much prefer dealing with people one at a time and with straightforward problems like broken bones and indigestion.”
“I understand,” I said. I clapped him on the shoulder.
“One more thing,” he said as I reached the door.
I halted.
“The presence of an extra female could send ripples through the tribe. Men may approach her, compete for her. If you work this out between you, she will need to make it plain to everyone that she has chosen you.”
“You’re right,” I said. If the tribe thought
I’d taken special privilege and claimed an extra female, they would lose respect for my leadership. “However, first I must focus on getting her to stay.”
Despite present and future obstacles, I left feeling hopeful. Physical persuasion might not work, Madison might reject my overtures, but at least I had a plan.
Since the Fates had paired us, surely they would help me out?
Madison was pacing when I entered the hut. She halted, and the wariness in her gaze made my heart ache. Even if she didn’t accept she was my female, she should never fear what I might do or say.
“Are you still mad at me?” she asked.
Taking a moment to choose my words, I slipped off my kel and hung it on the hook. “No, I’m not angry anymore. I’m sorry for leaving so abruptly. I needed to mull over what you had revealed to me.”
“I’m sorry for the deception. I figured you’d be surprised, but I didn’t intend to hurt you.” She lifted her shoulders. “I didn’t think my gender would matter. I’m just a stranded Earthling.”
“It matters,” I said quietly. “Because you’re my mate.”
She shook her head. “Oh, Enoki—”
“Let me say what needs to be said. One reason I’m not mad anymore is because I should have seen you were female. It’s as plain as the snow on the ground. The Fates tried to tell me. All I needed to do was open my eyes, listen. You were meant for me, Madison.”
She winced and squeezed her eyes shut.
I hadn’t meant to lay it all out there right away, but every passing second brought her closer to leaving me. Two days offered no time at all. I knew what it felt like to be misled and would not perpetuate dishonesty or subterfuge.
With my eyes open, my heart filled with certainty. On Dakon, only the luckiest men were fortunate enough to get a female. A rare few were favored by the Fates and granted a mate meant to be theirs before they were even born into the world. When you met, the unbreakable bond formed immediately.
We had that. Her energy and mine swirled and mingled, joined. Every sense went on alert so I could better please her. I’d never drawn a chit because the Fates intended my life to reach this moment, this female. It killed me to realize the portended future could never come to fruition because of her inability or refusal to recognize our bond. I hadn’t been the only one blinded to the truth.
