Roam (Guarding Her Book 5)

by Anna Brooks

  “That’s too much. I—”

  She stops protesting when I narrow my eyes at her and instead mumbles something about me being the boss and follows. After we pick out her electronics, I head toward the check out. “Let’s get out of here, then we’ll grab lunch before going to the grocery store. Sound good?”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  We wait in the line for a minute, and she stands over to the side when I’m paying. Her eyes widen at the four-figure total, but she wisely doesn’t say anything. Once to my truck, she tries to help me load things into the back seat, but I shake my head and lift her into the cab. “I can help, you know.”

  “I know. But you’re not.”

  “Why not? I’m perfectly capable.”

  I put a hand on my hip. “Your ankle is hurt.”

  “Your arm is hurt.” She crosses her arms and raises an auburn brow.

  “When did you become so sassy?”

  “A lot has changed about me since we last saw each other.”

  I trail my eyes down her bare legs, and I feel the familiar tingling in my spine whenever I fuckin’ look at her. “You’re right about that. But I haven’t changed. I carry stuff, I pay for stuff, and I use the grill.”

  “Can I use the stove?” She bats her eyelashes at me, and I try to prevent my lips from quirking, but it’s impossible.

  If we keep doing this, we’ll be here all day, so I finish loading the bags, then wheel the cart to the corral.

  “I know I’m not showing it very much, but thank you. I do appreciate it. I just don’t want to feel like a burden,” she says as soon as I get into my seat.

  “Brinley, darlin’, look at me.”

  Her lips are pressed together when she turns to face me. “Please stop thanking me. And apologizing. I promise you, you’re not a burden, and it’s not a hardship for me, okay? I understand that you feel helpless and maybe even a little ashamed, but you don’t need to be. I swear, I’m not judging you, and I never would. You’re a sweet girl who deserves to smile and be happy, okay? So try to stop making it seem like I don’t want you around. I like you. And I like you around a fuck of a lot, but I’d be much happier if I knew you were happy.” We’ll save the deep talk for later. Right now, I just want her as comfortable with me as I already am with her. It’s so easy, too easy. The last thing I need is to move faster than she can handle.

  Her soft pink lips part, and on a whisper, she says, “Okay.”

  I squeeze her hand. “Okay. Now, where do you want to eat?”

  “I don’t really care.”

  “What do you feel like?”

  “Um. I don’t know. Anything.”

  As I rack my brain to come up with an idea, I back out of the space. “There’s a place up the road that has a soup, salad, and pizza bar, so there should be something that you’d like.”

  “That sounds good.”

  I take us there silently, and we get a booth with a red and white checkered tablecloth toward the back. The waiter comes over and sets water glasses down, and then gives us a rundown of the buffet before we head over there together. I grab some pizza, and she gets a bowl of soup.

  We go back to the booth and sit across from each other, where I sink my teeth into a slice of meat lovers.

  “Oh crap, I forgot a spoon.”

  I toss my napkin on the table. “I’ll get it.”

  “No, I will. It’s okay.”

  She goes to slide out, and I reach across and grab her slender arm. Her eyes dart up to mine. “I’ll get it, Rinny.”

  Her body sinks back down, and I release her to walk across the restaurant. But when I turn back around, spoon in hand, the booth is empty.

  Brinley

  I run as fast as I can down the sidewalk, cutting through alleys and dashing across crosswalks even when the orange hand flashes. I don’t even know where I’m going, just away from him and toward home. Toward what I know, what I’m comfortable with. I’m tired, sore, nauseous… but I keep pushing. When I told him I wasn’t going to run again, I did it just to placate him. Everything that’s happened today is too much.

  I don’t know how to process it all so I do what I’m good at. I escape.

  My ankle is killing me, the throbbing that was almost gone this morning is back with a vengeance, but I’ve been through much worse. I go to that space in my head where nothing touches me and push the pain away as I force myself as hard and fast as I can go.

  I know this city like the back of my hand. I’ve wandered these streets so many times I could find my way around with my eyes closed. The smells are like directional signals, so once I pass the Chinese restaurant, I know there’s a tattoo shop that always smells like weed on the next block, then after that, it’s the strip with the ice-cream store that always reminds me of cotton candy.

  Ducking between buildings, I avoid the main road in case Noble is looking for me. I don’t know why he would, though; I can’t offer him anything while he offers me everything, including buying me freaking tampons. God, how embarrassing. He thinks I’m so pathetic I can’t even buy my own feminine products. I’m nobody. Just a girl he used to know. Just his dead daughter’s best friend who he feels obligated to help, no matter what he says.

  The small part of me that says he’ll wash his hands of me and not come after me causes me to pause, and I bite back the sting of pain in my chest at the thought of never seeing him again.

  I have to stop to lean against a tree to catch my breath. The hole in the bottom of my shoe has worn all the way through, so my foot is a little sore from rubbing against the ground. But I push off and keep going because I need to get away from him.

  Rushing through traffic, I tuck myself behind the hospital and then peek around the corner to the main road.

  “Get your tight little ass in the fucking truck. Now,” Noble bellows from behind me, his voice rasped with anger and authority. I startle, my body jolting so quickly I lose my footing and slide down the brick wall. I shiver as heavy footfalls get closer, and he crouches down in front of me. “What in the hell do you think you’re doing, Brinley?”

  A minute goes by as I contemplate my answer because I honestly don’t even know. Then another passes where I don’t give him one as he studies me with indignation, probably confused at my mood swings. Hell, I’m confused with them, but in my defense, a lot has happened to me lately, and it’s scary as shit.

  “Answer me,” he commands, getting closer.

  “I don’t know. I think… I think I just got scared.” I hold my arms out in front of me in defense, but he doesn’t move.

  “Jesus, Rinny. You think I’d hurt you?”

  I shake my head, wiping my face of the dirt and sweat I can feel on it. “No, I’m sorry. I know you wouldn’t.”

  “I wouldn’t. Not ever.” He stands and heads to his truck as I limp to catch up. “And if you’re running here because it’s familiar, I can understand that.”

  “You’re not mad at me?”

  When we get to his truck, he opens the door, then helps me up to the cab. “Make no mistake, I’m mad as hell at you, little red.” He slams the door, then walks around to get in and starts driving away. “You ever run away from me again, I’ll give you the choice of locking you in the bedroom or handcuffing you to me.”

  “What?” I gasp breathlessly. He wouldn’t. “You have handcuffs?”

  He simply raises a brow, and a thrill of excitement makes my belly flutter. “You heard me; I’m not repeating myself. But since you’re not going to do it again, it’s a moot point, right?”

  I pick at a rip in my jeans. “Yeah.”

  “Say it,” he demands.

  “Say what?” I look over to see his hands tightening on the steering wheel.

  “I won’t run away again, Noble.” His chest rumbles as the words roll through his lips.

  My eyes widen at the surprisingly smooth tone of his voice, but I promise him, “I won’t run away again, Noble.”

  “And say, when we get back, I’m going
to accept my punishment for breaking my promise.”

  “What?”

  “It wasn’t a question.”

  I stutter, refusing to willingly accept punishment even though it intrigues me. “I’m not saying that.”

  He clenches his jaw, then doesn’t say a word as he continues driving with his body coiled tight. I’m about to say something, anything to change the mood of the cab, but he yanks the wheel and pulls over onto the shoulder of the road. He jams the ignition into park so hard I’m surprised it didn’t break, then he walks around the front of the truck, and when he rips the door open, I coil back. “Get out.”

  “No.”

  “Rinny. Out.”

  “No way.” He wouldn’t really hurt me. I don’t think.

  His head tilts back, and he mumbles something to the sky before crowding me. “Get out.”

  “You’re scaring me.”

  “I’m not going to hurt you. Get out.”

  I take his word because I really don’t have a choice. I hop down and land on my good foot. He closes the door and palms my waist, spinning me around so I’m facing him. His fingers run down the side of my face before he brings a hand down like a collar around my neck. “I should’a gone with my instincts and spanked your ass last night… but you promised me.”

  My head shakes on its own volition. “No. Please don’t.” I beg him, and his hand actually gets tighter, but I love how his skin against mine feels. Rough against smooth. “You said you wouldn’t hurt me.” I can take pain from anyone else but him. Him hurting me would be more than just physical.

  He must sense the desperation in my voice. “A spanking isn’t hurting you. But even the thought of causing you any kind of pain hurts me.” My knees shake, and I wince as he steps back, rubbing his hands down his scruffy face. “What am I gonna do with you?”

  “What do you want to do with me?”

  “More than you could ever imagine.” The subtle sensuality has me gravitating toward him. “But for now, you need to tell me what you want.”

  My movement halts, and I study him. Tension coils in his muscles, but uncertainty wanes in his face. I tilt my head, confused by what exactly he’s asking. “What?”

  “Do you want me to leave you here? I’ll get in and drive away right now. Give you the freedom you obviously want from me since you’ve already run twice. It’ll kill me, having you back for not even a full day and losing you again when I know you need so much more than what you have. You… you’re a tie to my past that I didn’t think I’d want, but being around you has been… good. Maybe not for you, but for me, and I know that’s selfish, but it’s the truth. I won’t force you to stay with me… I’d never force you to do anything.

  “I don’t know exactly what happened to you or what you’ve gone through, but I want to know everything. I want to help you, and in turn, you’d help me. So for the record, I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay. With me.” He swallows, vulnerability in the admission. “Just tell me what you need, and I’ll give it to you.”

  What I need is him. And I need to keep him for as long as I can before he finds out the whole truth. He knows some of it already by what happened at Erik’s house, but not all. I’m afraid that once he does, he’ll never want to even look at me again.

  “I also want to say, before you make up your mind, I know I’m not a shrink, but if you need one of those, I’ll take you. I’ll pay for it. I’ll drive you. I’ll do whatever. In fact, I think that’s what you should do because I don’t know what the fuck I’m doin’, and I’ll probably end up making everything worse.”

  Without words, I walk the couple of steps it takes to get to him and wrap my arms around his waist, pressing my face into his chest. He holds me, resting his lips on the top of my head. I melt into him, desperate for his validation. I sniffle, and he holds me a minute longer while the hurt from the thought of him disposing of me fades and is quickly replaced with a warm tingle that spreads throughout my entire core. “I don’t want to go.”

  He sighs in relief, and his arms spasm around me like he only wants to hold me tighter. And I’d let him, especially if it meant I’d never have to go back to what I had before. But when he finds out I’ve been lying to him, he’ll not only let me go, but he’ll push me away and never look back.

  “I won’t run again, but if you force me to talk to someone, I will. And you’ll never find me.” He doesn’t react verbally, just tightens his arms for a second. I hesitantly and guiltily separate from him, smiling to myself that he’s just as reluctant, and turn around to get in his truck where he comes to stand behind me. He grips my waist, his fingers clenching before he lifts me and sets me in the seat. I’ve always hated being so short until I needed him to lift me, but now, I love it. I pull my seat belt on as he walks around the truck.

  My face is turned away from him as he starts the engine, and I process all the feelings. “Look at me.”

  “If I don’t, will you spank me?” I have no clue where that came from. “Sorry.” I press my lips together.

  Instead of answering, the air around me fills with tension and disapproval. I give in and meet him head on. He wipes the apple of my cheek with his thumb, and I lean into the strength of his hand. “You need to trust me, Brinley. I’ll take care of you. I’ll give you things you didn’t even know you needed. I’ll keep you safe and protect you from whatever scares you, but I can’t do that if you keep running.”

  “I don’t need you to keep me safe.”

  “No?” His brow raises in disbelief, and something about the way he thinks I’m weak makes me snap at him.

  “I’m fine. I’ve been fine, and I’ll continue to be fine.”

  He leans in and kisses my forehead, leaving his lips to linger as the tickle from his beard becomes little pokes of desire that spread down to my toes. “We’re not discussing you being alone because you’re not anymore. And if you do try to run again, I will find you, and you will face the consequences. Understand?”

  The thought makes me shiver, and with his powerful body so close and the strength he offers, it’s definitely not in a bad way. His lips tilt up in the smallest of smiles as if he knows what I’m thinking. I swallow, my throat suddenly dry. “I understand.”

  “Good girl.”

  Chapter 5

  Noble

  I pull up to the grocery store and walk around to open her door. I’d never admit that I like her being so petite that I have to help her up and down. We’re walking through the parking lot before I realize I’m holding her hand. If you pointed a gun at my head, I wouldn’t be able to tell you if she reached for me or if I sought her out. But I would put money on the latter.

  She lifts her foot. “Ouch.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I stepped on a rock.” With my hand still in hers for balance, she bends her knee to bring her foot up, and when I see a hole in the bottom of her shoe, anger swells in my recently not so empty chest.

  It’s a wonder she’s survived this long.

  Scooping her up in my arms, she screeches in shock. Her dainty fingers grab the front of my shirt as she steadies herself. On the way back to the truck, I look down at her, and my breath stalls. Organs that haven’t been used in a really long fuckin’ time stir to life. God, she’s pretty. I drop the hatch and set her there gently.

  Going to the back seat, I dig through the bags and grab a pair of shoes that look like the little white tennis shoes she’s wearing now.

  The ones with a hole in the fucking bottom. Christ, how long did she walk around like that? How long has she lived like this? I haven’t asked her a lot of questions, but pretty soon, she’s going to have to give me some answers. I wanted to get her comfortable with me again and ease into what’s happened since I last saw her, but I may have to push a little faster.

  I rip the tags off and then slam the door before meeting her at the back of my truck. My fingers yank at the laces of the dirty shoes she has on now. Anger makes my movements harder than they should b
e but not enough to be rough on her bad ankle.

  “Noble.” She calls my name as I yank the first shoe off.

  It falls to the ground, and I clench my jaw, my eyes colliding with hers.

  “It’s okay.”

  “How long have you been walking around with fucking holes in your shoes, Brinley?”

  Instead of shrinking at the hostility of my harsh words, she reaches up and places one soft hand on my face. And any and all anger disappears into thin air. Her effect on me is so staggering I have to lean into her so I don’t fall. Her freckles dance across the bridge of her button nose, and she smiles. “I’m fine.”

  Her thumb moves back and forth, mimicking my motion from earlier, calming the storm that’s swirling inside me. “Yeah. You are now,” I vow. Because I’ll make sure of it. I’ll make it my life’s mission to make sure she’s taken care of. I should have taken care of her years ago, should have made sure she was safe and had food and clothes and a warm bed after I left. She was something to me back then, if only my daughter’s best friend, but she was my daughter’s best friend, and I fucked up. If I would have made sure that she was good after I left, maybe she’d still be good now.

  But because I didn’t, she’s fucking homeless, and she’s hurting to the point of having a breakdown. I know how fucked up your head has to be to have one of those because I’ve been there myself. If I had made sure she was okay, I wouldn’t be standing here looking at the face of a girl who I let walk around with holes in her goddamn shoes and runs because she knows nothing different.

  With more gentleness this time, I take the other shoe off. She slides the new ones on while I throw these nasty things in the trash.

  “Let’s go get some food. I’m starved.” She hops off the truck bed, then winces as her injured foot hits the ground.

  “You sure you don’t want some pain meds?”

  “I’m sure.”

  When we get into the store, I grab a cart, but she takes the handle and starts pushing it. “What do you want to get to eat?”