Roam (Guarding Her Book 5)

by Anna Brooks

  He grits his teeth together. “You have no clue what you’re talking about, so stop.”

  “It’s not me. It’s not my shit. It’s you. Your shit. If you need someone to watch, I’m sur—”

  He puts his hand on my chest and pushes me until I’m against the wall right next to the dresser. Leaning so his lips are a breath away from mine, he warns, “I said don’t.”

  Fuck that and fuck him. This is why he’s holding back? “So all this bullshit you’ve said, all the crap you’ve spouted about us, about what we’re building, about everything. It was all a lie.”

  “You really don’t know what you’re talking about, and I suggest you shut your mouth before you say something that’s gonna piss me off, sweetheart.”

  God, he’s a dick. Was I wrong about him? “Sorry, honey. But I don’t give a shit if I piss you off or not. You wanted the real me, and this is me.”

  “I’m glad you’re showing me the real you, but seriously, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I know you had sex with a married woman, and I know I’ll never be down for any of that shit. I know the way you like it is something I’ll never be able to give you because when your control is taken away, you grab onto every little thing you can to get it back. And who I let fuck me is my choice. Always.” I feel tears forming, and I don’t even try to fight them. “I get to pick that. And if you think for one second that I’m going to lay there and let some guy between my legs while you get off on whatever sick shit you’re into, you’re wrong. I’d do almost anything for you, Noble, but not that. Never that.”

  I’m panting, and my eyes are blurry, but his soften. “It doesn’t have anything to do with that, and I think you just proved the real point of why I’ve been holding us back from going there. You’re not ready.”

  “So you admit you’ve been holding back?”

  “Yeah, Brinley. I’m not denying that.”

  I hate that he’s so freaking calm as I stand here with my fingers twitchy and the back of my neck damp. “You want things I can’t give you.”

  “You don’t know what I want.”

  “You’re right, I don’t. Because you won’t fucking tell me. You won’t let me give it to you.”

  He sighs and puts his hands on his hips. “Let me preface this by saying I would never, never share you with anybody. When I claim you like that, and don’t mistake me, I will, but when I do, I’ll own it. Every single part of you will be mine, and I don’t share. I only need one thing from you. I need everything. You have to be willing to give it all to me, and you’re not ready to lose that yet, but when you are, it’ll be all mine. You hear me on that?”

  I swallow and nod and wait for him to tell me something that’s going to end it between us before it even really starts. He knows everything about me. I trusted him with it all, but he obviously doesn’t trust me. “I’ve given you everything already, Noble. I don’t know what else I can do to prove that.”

  “I didn’t know she was married. If I did, I never would have gone home with her. Didn’t think I’d ever see her again until she and her husband walked into Reverie.” He sucks in a breath through his nose. “Now, I need you to promise me you’ll keep this here because if Erik finds out I told you, I’d get fired, then I’d probably get sued by a bunch of rich people.”

  “You don’t have to ask me that. I won’t say anything.”

  “I was head of security at a sex club. Bebe’s club.”

  My eyes bug out of my head, but I say nothing, not even sure what would come out of my mouth if I could talk.

  He continues like he didn’t just drop a bomb on me. “Reverie is high end, classy, and mostly voyeurism. Those two, Bruce and Sadie, joined after I met Sadie at a different bar, went home with her, and then fucked her one time.”

  “What’s voyeurism?”

  He actually smiles. “People who like to watch or be watched when they have sex. Sometimes they had a day when partners could swap. I would never ask you or want you to do anything like that. I’d never let you do anything like that.”

  “But you seem, uh… kind of like… that you’d, ya know… like that kind of thing?”

  “I know what I want in bed, just like I do outside of it. I take what I want and get it how I want it. But I promise you, when I do let loose, you’ll love every minute that I have you naked and under my mercy.”

  Noble

  “Why wouldn’t you tell me about Bebe’s club?”

  “I just told you why I couldn’t say anything. I wasn’t lying. We sign NDAs, Rinny.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah, oh.” I look at the ceiling for a second, pissed this night turned to shit because of that stupid fucking bitch. I knew, I goddamn knew if Brinley ever found out about the club, she’d automatically assume exactly what she did. “This relationship is on me, Brinley. I need to move it as fast or slow as it needs, and you have to trust me to do that.”

  “So we are in a relationship?”

  I undo the buttons on my shirt. I like this feisty side of her, but I didn’t know she was this persistent. “Of course, we are. Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “What kind of relationship?” She keeps following me as I start to walk out of the bedroom but blocks my path to leave. “Am I some pathetic girl you took in, a roommate who shares a bed, what? Your daughter’s best friend who you pity? What kind of a relationship are we in?”

  When I turn, she’s right here, so I grab her hand and pull it to my rock-hard dick. “Feel that? That’s the kind of relationship we’re in. That’s what you do to me. All the damn time. Quit questioning everything because pretty soon you’re gonna make me start questioning if you really are mature enough for this.”

  Her face falls, but I don’t reassure her because I’m not lying. She might have been through more than most women my age, but she’s still young and inexperienced in the relationship department.

  “I don’t pity you or any of that other shit, and you know it. Stop trying to piss me off.”

  “Pissing you off is the only way I can get a reaction out of you.” Her hand squeezes, and I take hold of her arm to pull her away, but she grabs harder, and I fight back a groan. “Am I yours?”

  “You know you are.”

  “So is this mine?”

  “It’s all yours, baby.”

  Then in slow motion, she drops to her knees and lifts her face toward me, and the vision of that desperate, needy seduction will be marked on my brain for the rest of my life. I fall back against the dresser and reach out to run my thumb along her jaw. “Brinley, darlin’.”

  “If it’s mine, that means I get to play with it whenever I want.”

  There’s a moment I think about it, but the pleasure I know she’ll give me is outweighed by the security I know she needs. Her exploding on me about sharing is exactly one of the reasons I won’t fuck her, not yet. She needs time. I fight against every single fiber of my being and grab her by her arms to pull her up.

  I lean down and rest my forehead on hers, drilling my eyes into her so she not only hears me, but she also sees me. “I want more from you. I want you to know how much you mean to me. I want you to feel valued, Brinley. You haven’t had a lot of people who care, and I want you to know how much I care before we go there.”

  “I know you do.”

  “Baby, you’ve only been here a month. Think about where you were a month ago and put yourself in my position. I’m the one who’s supposed to take care of you, and in the past few weeks, think about all the stuff I’ve found out that you’ve had to overcome. You tell me that a decent man wouldn’t wait to make sure you’re a hundred percent ready, then you have no clue how a man should treat you.”

  She bites her lip but not in a playful, cute way. “You’re so full of shit. A liar.”

  “Excuse me.”

  “What are you scared of?”

  “I’m not afraid of anything.”

  She huffs out a disbelieving laugh. “You’ve obviously fucked
other women since Cora died, Noble. So it’s not that you can’t get off on someone that isn’t her. What is it?”

  That was way low. “You seriously need to stop talking, Brinley. That was not cool.”

  “God. I’ve been driving myself crazy. Wondering if what I was feeling for you was one-sided. Fighting it because you’re Katie’s father. Thinking I don’t deserve you because I’m a thief and a liar. Then finally realizing that none of that matters because when I’m with you, nothing else matters. But for you… something else matters. I know you feel what I do. You’ve told me you do. You’ve given me everything except you. What is it, Noble? You say I need to give you something I’m not ready for, but I think it’s the other way around. I think it’s you who’s not ready.”

  Her words punch me in the gut, and I drop my head. She’s right. She knows she is. “I can’t lose you.”

  “You won’t.”

  She doesn’t even know. She has no clue that I never tried to have someone else in my life. Straight up didn’t want anyone at all. Never looked, planned on dying alone, and was totally content with that. But Christ, she’s turned my world upside down, and on top of making sure she’s good, I’ve gotta make sure I’m at the right fuckin’ place so I don’t do something to fuck this up. “Already it’s deep, so deep it scares the shit outta me. You’re right, and I can’t… I already told you, if something happened to you it would decimate me, but you’re right, I did lie. Because it’d fuckin’ kill me. I just need a fuckin’ minute, Brinley. Can you please cut me a little fuckin’ slack and give me a goddamn minute?”

  “Yeah, Noble. I’ll give you whatever you need.”

  I pull her against me and wrap my arms around her, squeezing tight, and breathe a huge sigh of relief. “All I need is you, little one. You’re all I need.”

  Chapter 16

  Brinley

  I wake up with a gasp and feel for Noble, but his side of the bed is empty. The house is still and silent. He’s not here. “Noble.” Like an idiot, I call for him, and not surprisingly, I don’t get a response. After I pull the covers off and sit up, I see a note on the nightstand.

  Had to do a few things at work. Be back soon.

  It takes a second for my groggy mind to realize that he left me in the middle of the night. I can’t let him run. He came after me, so now it’s my turn to chase him. I pad to the kitchen where my phone is plugged in and dial Q. I don’t care that it’s almost three in the morning because he said that if I ever needed anything, I could call him, so I’m taking him up on his offer and will just have to owe him a middle of the night favor sometime. Plus, if anyone will be able to find Noble, it’ll be him.

  “Everything okay?” he answers immediately.

  “Sorry to bug you. Yeah. It’s fine.”

  “You want me to bring you to Noble?”

  How did he know? “Um, yeah.”

  “Hang tight, I’ll be there in fifteen.”

  He hangs up, and I hold the phone out, wondering how the hell he knew the answer to a question I didn’t even ask, but then quickly forget and rush into action. I hurry to the bathroom and dab some gloss over my lips, then run a fresh coat of mascara through my lashes. I’m wearing a little nightie, and debate whether I should change, but instead, I just pick up his button-down shirt that’s on the floor next to the bed and slip my feet into a pair of flip-flops. I look ridiculous, but I don’t care. By the time Q pulls up, I’m already waiting on the porch. He pushes the door open from the inside, and I make a surprised squeak when I fall to my ass in the car, not expecting it to be as low as it is. “You okay?” He chuckles.

  “Yeah, I just didn’t think it’d be so low. How did you know what I wanted before I even asked?”

  He pulls out of the driveway slow, then as soon as he hits the asphalt, he guns the accelerator, and I fly back in my seat. Funny, for such a quiet guy, I didn’t expect him to drive like a race car driver. “Because I was just at Royal with him, helping him make sure your tracks are covered. Securing your future so the past doesn’t come around and bite you in the ass.”

  “So you really do know it all, then?”

  We stop at a light, and he tilts his head. “I know everything, Brinley.” I can feel the terror on my face, but he reaches over and grabs my hand and squeezes it quickly. “Initially it was just a basic search because you were staying at Erik and Polly’s. But the first time I met you installing the system at Noble’s, with what you asked about if I could read your messages, you kind of tipped me off, so I started digging. I wanted to know if you were hiding anything. You knew I did when I hung out that night and had dinner with your guys, but it’s not my place to judge or tell.”

  “But I was hiding something. A lot of somethings.”

  He shakes his head. “Yeah, but Noble had you, and what you were doing wasn’t hurting anybody. Except for what happened with Paisley, there was no need to share anything else about your past to anyone. Not even Noble, not until he asked me.”

  “What else did you share and with who?”

  “Erik knows what he needs to. That’s it.”

  “What does he know?”

  Q sighs. “Told you. Only how you and Paisley knew each other. That’s it, I swear, but he knew most of it from what Paisley told him. He needed the info for everyone who helped sake’s as reassurance that there wasn’t a threat anymore.”

  Whatever. There isn’t anything I can do about my past. What I can deal with is right now. “Does Noble know I’m coming?”

  “No.” He smiles totally vindictive. “I thought this would be better. Although, if I’d have known that’s what you were gonna wear, I might not have volunteered to come and get you.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Because when Noble finds out I saw you in what amounts to every man’s fantasy, he’s gonna kick my ass.”

  * * *

  Moving through the deserted building, I tiptoe behind Q up the stairs to where Noble is. I remember this building from a month ago when I drove Paisley here. But now it’s so quiet; people aren’t running around frantic because someone threatened the princess. God, I was an idiot.

  Noble’s back is to the large picture window, papers all over a rectangle table, and a couple of computers scattered out as well. “Have fun,” Q whispers. “And I’m gonna cut the camera feed to the boiler room.”

  I turn to ask him what he means, but he’s already gone. Taking a breath, I pull the door open let it close behind me with a soft click.

  Noble bends at the waist, his tall frame covering almost half the length of the table, and closes the screen of a laptop. He straightens, and I see his back move from him breathing hard. “How’d you get here?”

  I jump when he speaks to me. “Q.”

  “Why are you here, little red?”

  I follow him with my eyes as he walks around the table, picking up papers. Finally, he raises his head and tortured gray eyes collide with my gaze. I roll my shoulders back and let his shirt fall to the floor, those storm clouds following the material, then crashing into my nervous stare.

  My throat is suddenly dry, and I swallow. Putting one foot in front of the other, I stop at the head of the table. My chest heaves, my pulse pounds in my neck, and my palms dampen with anxious sweat. “Because you chased after me, and now I’m chasing after you.”

  With a shaky hand, I reach up and push the strap of my nightie off my right shoulder, then my left. He clenches his jaw, and he leans down, resting his knuckles on the table as he watches.

  I shimmy my hips, and when the light, silky material falls to the floor, I’m bared to him. He sucks in a breath, devouring my small, perky breasts, my flat stomach, my freshly trimmed pubis. The fire in his eyes burns my flesh as he pants from the heat surrounding us.

  My thighs shake and my eyes water, but I stand tall. I wanted this. I want this. Him. He’s all I see, the only thing I think about, the only person I have ever felt this with.

  When he finally pushes himself up and stalks around
the table, my breaths quicken even more. I don’t move an inch and wait for him to make the next move. When he reaches me, he stands tall behind me, his rough hands gliding down my arms and back up. Across my collarbone, between my breasts, and finally settle on my hips. I shiver from his touch.

  In one move, he spins me around and lifts me to sit on the table.

  I open myself to him, and he reaches behind his back and yanks his shirt off. Falling back to my elbows, I bite my lip when his hands make their way to his belt. I admire the muscles of his chest, his abs, and that sexy V that leads to the promised land. He grabs his wallet out of his pocket and grabs protection, then puts the foil square between his teeth. With a flick of his wrist, his button is undone, and the zipper lowered.

  Reaching inside his boxer briefs, he produces his hard cock, and I moan at the sight. I knew he was large, but I didn’t know he’d be so beautiful. I worry he won’t fit, and when the fear of what’s about to happen settles in my brain, I open my mouth to tell him, but he cuts me off with one word. “Hush.”

  He yanks me to the end of the table and presses my knees until they’re resting on the wood. His thumbs open the lips of my pussy, and he settles the head of his cock at my opening. Just the feel of him there makes my back arch involuntarily.

  With one small thrust after the other, he runs the tip of his perfect cock up and down, over and over, hitting my swollen clitoris every time. The barely-there sensation has me panting as every last nerve in my body electrifies. Without warning, he disappears inside me, only a little, but I feel so full already. He pulls out and does it again, just a little farther. And then again, until the entire head fits inside. The pleasure is almost too much, but I want to watch. Want to see all of him inside me.