Cast in Secrets and Shadow

by Andrea Robertson

  “I’m sure your stamina is more than adequate,” Teth replied solemnly, though Ara could see that he was fighting laughter. “But you cannot run as swiftly for as long or as far as a horse.”

  Joar glowered at him for a long moment, then said, “I cannot deny that.”

  “Good.” Teth sounded relieved.

  “So we’ll keep the stall open through the day tomorrow,” Ara said. “Then go to the temple after dark.”

  Teth nodded. “I think that’s the best plan.”

  “I agree,” Ara replied. She looked to Lahvja and Nimhea. “Your thoughts?”

  Nimhea smiled. “I quite like the idea of a hidden temple and infiltration after dark.”

  “It’s a good plan.” Lahvja sighed. “Yet it leaves me uneasy.”

  “I never said there wouldn’t be danger,” Teth said defensively.

  Lahvja offered him a sad smile. “I know. But the temple is hidden because its followers have been run underground, persecuted. I fear that seeking them out puts them at risk as much as ourselves. No doubt the Vokkans have already been trying to find them for some time. If we are noticed, we may lead soldiers directly to Nava’s worshippers.”

  “There is a chance of that.” Teth grimaced. “I’ve tried to gather intelligence about how little or how much the Vokkans know and care about a hidden shrine, but everyone I spoke to was very tight-lipped on the subject. That speaks to true fear.”

  “I don’t think it can be helped,” Ara said. “I don’t like that, but we have to find Nava’s hidden site. If we’re cautious enough, hopefully those who still worship in the temple will be safe.”

  Lahvja turned away to stare into the firelight. “I shall pray for it.”

  * * *

  The remainder of dinner passed with little conversation. A quiet but weighty tension had settled over their small camp, making a stark contrast to the ongoing sounds of music and revelry that drifted in from the never-sleeping market.

  Ara knew it wasn’t only the risks of their mission that troubled her friends. Lahvja’s reminder that they put not only themselves but other innocents in danger clawed at her conscience. She also hated that they’d be separating in order to complete their task and sensed that the others did, too.

  They had retired for the night much earlier than was their usual habit. Nimhea and Lahvja, fingers entwined, disappeared into one tent. Joar and Huntress wandered into the shadows, leaving Ara and Teth to seek their own beds. They made eye contact once, but didn’t speak even to bid each other good night. Ara tried to pry any thoughts from Teth’s face, but his expression was unreadable.

  Inside her tent, Ara stretched out on her bedroll and knew that she wouldn’t sleep anytime soon. Though she wanted to focus on what might happen in the temple, her mind always ran to Teth and the tangle of her feelings. When she’d determined they should stop their romance, she’d been sad, but confident in her choice. In the days since, that surety had crumbled. The emotional barrier she thought stood firm between them was riddled with cracks. At the slightest pressure, it gave way. First Teth’s anger and then Lahvja’s reprimand filled her with doubt about her choice. Nimhea’s forgiveness nearly broke her with its honesty and simplicity. Finally, the torrid emotions that consumed her whenever Teth was close proclaimed the futility of her resistance.

  What am I even fighting for? Ara stared at the ceiling of her tent. My own torment?

  She imagined Teth staring at the ceiling of his own tent and craved more than anything to know what he was feeling.

  I don’t know how to be the Loresmith and love you.

  All the muscles in her chest tightened when she thought of the words Teth had thrown back at her.

  Then learn.

  He’d been so full of outrage, but beneath that shield of pride she’d seen how wounded he was, the raw desperation that fueled his anger.

  And she’d done that to him. The person she cared for so deeply it made her world turn over. The person she’d fallen in love with.

  Suddenly it was there. The stark truth.

  I was wrong.

  She bolted upright. Waves of emotion crashed over her: surprise, relief, regret. So much regret.

  Crawling to the flap of her tent, Ara pushed herself through, stumbling out into the dark. The campfire was reduced to embers. She glanced around, not spying Joar, nor hearing sounds from the tent Lahvja and Nimhea occupied.

  Ara walked to Teth’s tent. She stood outside the entrance for what felt like an eternity with her heart slamming against her ribs so hard it seemed possible they could break.

  With a trembling hand, Ara grasped the flap and then ducked inside. At her appearance, Teth rolled into a crouch at one corner of the tent. She was certain he had a dagger in his hand.

  “It’s me.” Her voice cracked when she spoke.

  “Ara?” Teth relaxed onto his knees. “What are you doing here? Did something happen?”

  Yes. Something. Everything.

  She moved toward him, and it felt like swimming through tar. When she drew close, she lowered herself beside him. Their bodies were only a hairsbreadth apart.

  “Ara.” When he said her name it was so many things. A warning. A plea. A rebuke. A question.

  “Teth.” Her body shook. Her breath was unsteady. “I—I don’t need to learn how to love you.”

  He went very still, and she sensed he was holding his breath.

  “I know I love you.” Her voice was on the verge of breaking. “But I’ve been afraid to, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  Then she was in his arms and his lips were brushing her ear as he murmured comforting words that she barely understood. All she could do was grasp his shoulders, terrified that if she let go he would disappear. He kissed her temple and her closed eyelids.

  She cupped his face in her hands and moved her lips over his in a light caress. He opened his mouth so she could taste him. The kiss deepened and he groaned. The sound sent blood rushing low in her body, made her wrap her arms around his back and drag him down until she was stretched out on his bedroll and he was above her. Her fingers twisted in his shirt, grabbing handfuls of fabric, then jerking it up until he took over the task and pulled the shirt over his head. Her hands pressed against his chest, reveling in the heat of his skin. She moved her fingers slowly, discovering the contours of his muscles, the ridges of his abdomen. The sounds he made as she touched him sent molten waves through her limbs.

  He broke their kiss, bowing his head to let his tongue flick over the hollow of her throat. His lips feathered over her skin, moving down into the deep V of her bodice. She gasped. Her body moved of its own accord, lifting toward him, reaching for something it desperately wanted.

  His fingers found the ties that secured her bodice and her skirt. He made quick work of the knots. Then he pulled the silk apart, baring her to the night. She drew a sharp breath as the cool air kissed her skin and gooseflesh prickled all over her body.

  Teth held himself above her, no longer touching her. He was breathing hard.

  “Tell me if you need me to stop,” he said in a rough whisper. “I’ll stop if you ask.”

  “Don’t stop.” She grasped his shoulders, pulling him toward her. “Please don’t stop.”

  He bent to kiss her, his mouth and tongue doing extraordinary, unthinkable things to hers. But his hands. His hands. Ara didn’t have words for what they were doing to her. She couldn’t control the way her body reacted. She didn’t want to. All she wanted to do was feel.

  Until feeling wasn’t enough. Her fingers found the waist of his trousers, then the buttons. She shoved the loosened garment down until he shucked them off.

  And then he was there. All of him. Pressing against her in the most intimate way.

  Teth kissed her gently. His fingers caressed her cheek. “Are you sure you want this?”

  “I nee
d this.” She dug her fingers into his back. “I need you.”

  He kissed her again, slowly, exquisitely, until her body was arching against him of its own accord.

  His hips moved once, carefully, and she gasped at the shock of sensation and the spear of pain. He bent his head and pressed his lips to her neck, whispering her name against her skin. He moved again, and then again, until the stars exploded.

  25

  Ara had hoped to keep the night’s events between herself and Teth for at least a little while. The night had been a revelation, and she wanted to savor her feelings before she had to share them. Unfortunately, fate had other plans.

  First, having slept little over the course of the night, they didn’t wake until late morning.

  Second, upon waking, they discovered they weren’t quite ready to leave the tent yet, and lingered there for some time, needing each other to ease their shared fears of what that night’s mission would bring.

  Third, they were at last drawn into the day by Huntress’s incessant barking just outside the tent.

  When Ara and Teth stepped into the bright morning light, not only was the wolf there, but Joar stood a few feet behind her.

  At their appearance, Huntress gave another bark, this one satisfied rather than pestering, and wagged her tail. Joar looked far less happy to see them. In fact, he looked everywhere but directly at them, and Ara could swear that a blush chased across his cheeks.

  “Nimhea says you must get up now.” Joar spoke through clenched teeth. He didn’t sound angry, just desperately uncomfortable. “They need your help. There are many buyers.”

  “Of course,” Teth replied. “We’ll be right there.”

  With some effort, Joar fixed Teth with a severe gaze. His features had taken on the aspects of a thundercloud.

  The hunter leaned forward, baring his teeth. Taking a cue from her companion, Huntress did the same and added a growl.

  Ara was impressed that Teth didn’t flinch.

  “Your intentions.” One of Joar’s hands balled into a fist that bore a terrible resemblance to the head of a war hammer. “Are they honorable?”

  If Joar’s expression hadn’t been so full of violence, Ara might have laughed. Instead, she swallowed hard, building up the courage to step between that fist and Teth’s face if need be.

  “I love her.” Teth stared Joar down. “Is that honorable enough for you?”

  Joar froze, blinking at Teth as if he hadn’t understood the words.

  “I love her,” Teth said again.

  Ara’s heart pinched with something between relief and joy.

  Joar’s fist relaxed, then he clapped both hands on Teth’s shoulders and threw his head back to give a roar of a laugh.

  Teth and Ara exchanged a look, both rather stunned at the hunter’s wild shift in emotion.

  “Yes!” Joar grinned at Teth. “Yes! Love is most honorable, and my heart is glad for you, my friend.”

  Just as quickly as his laugh had come, another shadow flitted over Joar’s face. He dropped his hands from Teth’s shoulders and turned to Ara.

  His expression was less menacing, but deeply troubled.

  “And you, Loresmith?” Joar asked her. “What is your regard for the thief?”

  He glanced from Ara to Teth, as if worried Teth’s heart was about to be broken.

  Ara felt a wrench of guilt as she thought, Don’t worry, Joar, I stomped on Teth’s heart once, but I’ll do everything I can to make up for it.

  What she said aloud was: “I love him, too.”

  Joar took a step back, surveying them both. A slow grin spread over his face. “Good. Very good.”

  Huntress was wagging her tail again. She turned and gave a single bark at Joar.

  “Yes.” He nodded, looking at the wolf.

  To Ara and Teth he said, “Now go help Nimhea and Lahvja with this business of buying and selling. I will continue to stand guard.”

  Joar started to walk away, then stopped, looking over his shoulder. “I hope you will finish our business here tonight. I do not like this place.”

  He left them.

  Huntress rested on her haunches. Her tongue lolled out of her mouth, and she held Ara with an expression that was slightly reproving, but mostly delighted. Her bushy tail thumped against the ground.

  Ara gazed into the wolf’s eyes and could have sworn she heard Huntress’s thought: It is good that you at last understand the way things are meant to be, silly human.

  She stared at Huntress, captured by a strange idea. Perhaps Joar heard these thoughts all the time. Ara knew in her bones that the history between this beast and the hunter who’d saved her was true. That Huntress was not Eni in disguise. But every so often, especially in moments like this, Ara couldn’t help but wonder.

  * * *

  Under cover of night, Ara, Nimhea, and Teth moved through the Great Market toward the pavilion. Though parts of the market were as lively as the whole was in the middle of the day, they kept to the quieter paths and slunk through shadows whenever they could.

  The day had passed without incident. The quality of Lahvja’s concoctions had spread through the market—for it couldn’t have been the reasonable prices—and drawn a large crowd of buyers that didn’t shrink until well after dusk. Customers’ demands had kept Ara running, literally, from the wagon to the sales table for the bulk of the day. Several imperial patrols walked by, and their every appearance made Ara hold her breath until they’d gone, but none stopped to harass them in any manner. The only difference was Teth. Rather than keeping their interactions completely businesslike, he took every chance he could to be close to her. To touch her. When he handed her order slips, he let his fingers caress the underside of her wrist. He leaned in more than he needed to when he spoke to her, so his breath tickled her ear. And the smiles he gave her. Each one sent her heart tumbling and filled her with giddy bliss.

  At one point, Lahvja pulled her aside and pressed an oilcloth pouch of ground herbs into Ara’s hands.

  “One teaspoon of this brewed like a tea, every day, until you wish to be with child,” the summoner murmured. She leaned in, taking Ara’s hand in hers. “I am so very happy for you both.”

  Ara stammered her thanks. She’d been intending to ask Lahvja for such a tisane when afforded a moment of privacy, and was deeply grateful that Lahvja had anticipated her need. The thought of having a child with Teth stirred her deeply, possibly many children, one of whom would be the next Loresmith. The broken line would be restored.

  But that was for the future, when they were not so young. Certainly not until after the Resistance had, she hoped with all her being, retaken the River Throne and driven the Vokkans from Saetlund.

  Ara regretted nothing about embracing her love for Teth, but these kinds of thoughts—dreams for a future that might not come to pass—brought into focus more clearly the source of her indecision about her feelings and the deep roots of her fear. They wouldn’t fade away, neither the love nor the fear, but neither would Ara allow doubts to rule her.

  As they passed through mostly empty streets, Teth gave signals anytime they needed to duck behind barrels or squeeze into narrow corridors to avoid being seen. Their careful movements and the coiled tension in Ara’s limbs made her feel as if her body might break apart from being controlled so tightly.

  After three-quarters of an hour, Teth held up his hand, and they stopped at the open door to what appeared to be a small abandoned shop.

  “The entrance to the temple is hidden behind the hearth in this building,” he whispered. “Follow me. No talking while we’re in the tunnels.”

  Ara gazed at the unassuming building and bit her lip. The information provided by Teth’s contact had led them here, but what lay on the other side of that door and those dirtied windows?

  A dead end? A trap?

  Her pulse stammered as Teth
slipped into the building, while Ara and Nimhea waited for a sign from him that they should proceed. A minute passed where Ara’s heart was in her throat and her ears strained for signs of a scuffle or other trouble, but then Teth returned and motioned for them to come inside.

  The shop was empty save a few pieces of furniture that had been draped with cloth to keep away the dust that had since soiled the fabric to a dull brown. The floor was covered by an inch of filth. Ara worried about their having laid such a clear trail of footprints, but once Teth had opened the passageway to the underground tunnels, he ushered Ara and Nimhea inside before picking up a sack at the top of the steps leading down. He opened the sack, which was full of sand and dirt. Returning to the room, he scattered a new layer to hide their tracks.

  The steps took them deep, at least another story below where most cellars would be dug. Guttering torches lit their way as Ara imagined passing beneath the streets above, and questions spun through her mind.

  How many people knew of this tunnel? How strong was their belief in and loyalty to Nava?

  Despite being deep in the earth, Ara felt exposed. The Great Market was a far cry from a village tucked in the Vijerian jungle or a cursed forest in the middle of the desert. She felt more trepidation here than she had at any other place this journey had taken her.

  The tunnel led them not to a door, but to an opening in a wall. They stepped into a broad, square chamber framed with steps descending to a sunken floor. The stairs, floors, and walls were covered with tile featuring mosaics in vivid colors that depicted sheaves of wheat, fruit trees, bundled corn, and garden vegetables, as well as women with swollen, pregnant bellies and mothers holding infants. A row of benches faced a dais upon which sat a sculpture of Nava. The goddess knelt, her abundance of flesh carved in ebony—heavy breasts, rounded stomach, broad hips. Her hair had been painted with gold leaf, and her eyes were gleaming topaz. Her arms were outstretched, and her wide lips spread in a smile of welcome. Though Ara had shared the company of three gods, this statue was the first image of a god she’d encountered, and she was surprised by the deep emotions that shook her as she gazed upon Nava’s likeness. Looking up at the goddess of Sola and Kelden, Ara felt as though she’d been wrapped in love and acceptance.