Never Again, No More 4

by Untamed

  “Please. Let’s just stop.” Why did my voice sound so weak? I wondered.

  Rather than move, she kissed my neck. “Do you really want me to stop?” She planted a kiss on my lips, and our tongues hungrily met each other. My animalistic urges shot to unimaginable heights.

  “Jennifer . . . oh God . . . baby . . . we need to . . . we need to . . .”

  She nibbled on my right ear, and it was over. Whether or not my relationship with Lucinda was salvageable could’ve been answered in one word now. No. Within seconds, our clothes were off, and I was dick deep inside of Jennifer. I remembered every curve of her body, and the way her breasts bounced made me wanna cum all over them. We moved from position to position, as if fucking were going out of style. Our final position had me sitting down on the sofa and her riding on top of me. By then we were giving it to each other too good to stop.

  “Aldris! Oh gawd, baby. I’m ’bout to cum,” she panted as she held on to my neck, and then she let out a wail.

  “Ooh, shit. That’s sexy,” I moaned. “I’m ’bout to cum, baby.”

  Then she did something she’d always refused to do. She got up, stuck my dick in her mouth, and swallowed all my climactic juices. My body damn near lifted off the sofa. It was so fucking incredible. My eyes got heavy, and all I remembered was floating off in a dreamlike state.

  Faintly, I heard, “I love you, Aldris.”

  “I love you too, Lucinda.”

  I didn’t remember shit else.

  Chapter 5

  Charice

  I never should’ve moved to New York, I thought to myself. I should’ve stayed my black ass in Atlanta. I had thought that Ryan actually loved me and that our time had come to be together as a family, when it had been nothing more than him trying to appease his bruised ego.

  Yes, Ryan was still pissed about “catching” me at Lincoln’s house. My reasoning or Lincoln’s explanation didn’t matter to him; he was pissed, as if I had broken the sacred rule of our marriage. At first, I had understood him needing time to get over the incident, but a whole week? That was some bitch-assness. I mean, really? You would’ve thought he had found me in Lincoln’s bedroom, legs aimed high in a V-shaped position and squealing in falsetto. I was tired of his possessiveness. It clouded his good judgment, and now he’d stuck his foot completely in his own shit. Treating me like a jump off was not ever going to happen. I’d been through too much in my life—namely, because of him—to let anybody, especially him, take me through anything else. Not for any reason.

  I’d been sleeping in the guest bedroom and avoiding Ryan like the plague. Wherever he was, I was definitely trying not to be there, at least until nighttime, when I didn’t have a choice. I wouldn’t answer his calls when I was out, and when I was at home, I stayed locked up in either our guest bedroom, my office, or my own little sitting area with Lexi and the boys. I hated living like this, but I had to decide whether I wanted to move out on my own or try to salvage our marriage, and at the moment, I was undecided. Aside from everything, he was my husband, and I did love him. I grew up with parents who’d remained married for thirty years, so it was in my DNA to try to make it work. Right now, I just had no will to try.

  Surprisingly, Lincoln had never retaliated. He had stayed his distance from our house and me. Even though it’d been only a week, it had been a week of solace. The times he’d seen me, he had only thrown up his hand to gesture a hello and had kept it moving. No stops or stopping by, no conversation, and no staring. He hadn’t even attempted to come by with London, whom I’d seen one morning, as they were riding past my house. She and I had waved excitedly; he hadn’t. It had been as if he didn’t even live just three doors down. I was shocked and impressed by his new attitude. I believed that part of him needed closure for himself, and I was happy that he was able to have that. The only fool who was still harping on the shit was Ryan. Lincoln and I were far past it. So why wasn’t he?

  My honest belief was that Ryan’s extreme behavior over my interaction with Lincoln had more to do with him and Lincoln and less to do with Lincoln and me. At first, I had assumed it was because we were married and because we had agreed to raise Lexi as our own, but now, it struck me as being deeper than that. Of course, I’d always felt like there had been something brewing between those two, but when it had never manifested, I’d chalked it up to male egos colliding. However, Ryan’s reactions to me and Lincoln weren’t normal. At the end of the day, I was still his wife, and he knew that I was as loyal as they came.

  I decided the best way to solve the problem would be to face it head-on. I needed to talk to Lincoln. I needed to find out what the hell this rift was between Ryan and him so that he could grill up and eat it. If my marriage was going to work, I needed this thing between Ryan and Lincoln to cease.

  Three loud knocks on the door interrupted my thoughts.

  “Yes?” I called out as I rolled over and looked at the clock. Eight a.m. You’d think he’d let me rest, since I was up early this morning, seeing the boys off to school.

  “I’m going to a team meeting and then to work out. I just wanted to let you know,” Ryan said softly through the door.

  I rolled my eyes. “Okay.”

  He paused for a moment; then he breathed out. “Charice . . . baby—”

  “I was asleep, Ryan,” I said harshly. “Goodbye.”

  “Can we at least talk?” he asked, obviously ignoring my last statement.

  “Maybe when I’m awake.”

  “Okay, okay. I’m gone. I love you, Charice.”

  He waited around for a few seconds for a response that he wasn’t getting and then left. As soon as I heard his truck pull out of the garage, I jumped up and went into the nursery. Lexi was sound asleep. My perfect little angel. Lincoln’s little twin. I stared at her for a few moments, then went downstairs, where Johanna was.

  “Good morning, Mrs. Westmore,” Johanna greeted me.

  “Good morning, Johanna. How are you this morning?”

  She smiled. “Blessed and highly favored, and so are you.”

  I smiled back. She didn’t realize how much her morning devotion and uplifting words always encouraged me. There was just something about feeling the spirit and the goodness in someone else that made you have that same feeling. I admired her strength. I walked around the kitchen island and hugged her.

  “Ooh, Mrs. Westmore. You startled me.” She held me back.

  “I’m sorry, but you just don’t know how much I needed to hear that this morning.”

  She shrugged. “I can only imagine. God puts the Word on me and speaks through me. That is my anointing.” She looked at me and pointed, as if something had struck her mind. “You know, Mrs. Westmore, I don’t know what you’re going through, but everything will be all right. Whatever battles you’re facing, just know that nothing is bigger than God. Trust in Him, and He will guide your path, reveal, and provide the true desires of your heart. Just believe God for it. He will never let you down. As my grandmama would always say, ‘Your answer is only one prayer away.’”

  There I stood, completely speechless. Nothing but God could’ve possessed Johanna to give that Word today. I believed in God and prayed to Him every day, but I wasn’t perfect, and even though my relationship with Him wasn’t as strong as Johanna’s, I felt as if He were talking directly to me through her. And that was when I knew I had to set my plan in motion. You’ve guided my path. Now let’s see where it takes me, I thought to myself.

  “Johanna, can you listen out for Lexi for me? I have to make a very important phone call.”

  “Of course.” She walked over to the intercom and turned up the volume to Lexi’s room.

  I ran upstairs and called Lincoln’s house phone. No answer. Shoot. He was probably on his way to the team meeting too. I said a little prayer to myself and called his cell phone. I hoped that was still the number, and yes, I did still have it. Sue me.

  “Hello?” a man answered.

  “Is this Lincoln?”

&nbs
p; “It is. And who is this?” he said, puzzled.

  “Uh, Charice.”

  “Charice?”

  “Please tell me you are not around the team.”

  “No, I’m five minutes away. I was running late, you know, trying to get used to London’s school schedule and all. What in the world brings you to call me?”

  Nervousness overcame me, and I bit my bottom lip. “I need to talk to you face-to-face.”

  “Still chewing on your bottom lip when you’re nervous, I see.”

  Puzzled, I asked, “How’d you know?”

  He started to say something, then seemingly changed his mind. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “I am a little nervous,” I admitted. “But I really need to know if you can meet me.”

  “What’s this about?”

  “It’s about something I’d rather discuss in person. Can you meet me or not?” I didn’t mean to come off as abrupt, but he had far too many questions, and I had far too little time.

  “Pipe down, Ma. No need to get all rah-rah with me. I just asked a question. You’ve been married to Ryan too long,” he chastised. “After this meeting, I’m free. Where do you wanna meet?”

  “How about the Starbucks in Vernon Hills?”

  “Can we make it the one in Midway?”

  “No, we can’t,” I said a little tensely. “If you and I just so happen to be in the same location, I can at least say that I was doing a little shopping, being that the Children’s Place is right next door to Starbucks in Vernon Hills.”

  “Oh, okay. You’re being unofficial right now,” he said sarcastically.

  “And you’re being an ass right now,” I shot back. “Why must there be such a love-hate relationship between us?”

  “When you stop loving to hate me, then I guess we won’t have one anymore.” He chuckled.

  A gasp fell from my lips. “I’m offended. I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.”

  “Wow. I’m surprised at that. I would ask what brought that change about, but I need to get out of my car so I can make my meeting. Since our visit is unofficial, I assume you don’t want your husband to know who I am on the phone with.”

  “I would greatly appreciate it if you didn’t tell him.”

  “Cool, Ma. Whatever you want. I’ll call you once I’m in my car. Is this your cell phone number?”

  “Yes, I changed over to the nine-one-four area code.”

  “I see. You’re a proud New York State resident now. Well, I guess I’m a traitor. My cell is my only remaining personal link to Texas. I guess I’m sentimental that way,” he joked.

  His comment caused me to giggle, as I thought back to our conversation the night our relationship began. “Hey, I’m still a Georgia peach at heart.”

  After a few shared laughs on our unspoken trip down memory lane, Lincoln got quiet. Then he said, “On the real, I gotta go. I’ll call you after my meeting. Later, Ma.”

  “Later, Pa,” I joked. I heard him say wow as he hung up.

  I headed downstairs to find Lexi awake, in the bouncer, and watching Johanna clean the living room. I played with her for a little while before heading to my office to answer a few emails and clean up my inbox. I fed Lexi, and then I got ready, so that when Lincoln called, I could head out without any delay. The funny part is that after I showered, I found myself mulling over what to wear, as if this were a personal visit.

  “What are you doing, Charice? Get it together,” I told myself out loud.

  I decided on my denim, belted halter dress and floral-colored wedges. I put on light makeup, and I unwrapped my hair, happy that I’d just gotten it done, which meant that my long layers still had bounce. After I oiled down and sprayed on Euphoria, I put on my ensemble and finished the look with a big bangle bracelet. I had to admit to myself that I looked good. I grabbed my purse and my shades, then headed downstairs.

  “You look nice, Mrs. Westmore. I love that dress. Heck, and the shoes,” Johanna said.

  “Thanks. Listen, in a bit I’ll have to step out. Lexi is fed and should be dozing off soon, so she should be good for now.”

  “Okay. That’ll give me time to eat a little something and start the laundry.”

  As soon as she said that, my cell phone rang. I answered it immediately. “Hello?”

  “I’m on my way to Starbucks,” Lincoln said.

  “Okay.” I hung up. “All right, Johanna. I’ll be back in a bit.”

  On the drive there, I was rather nervous, but once I pulled up, a sense of calm just eased over my body. Perhaps, I was doing the right thing. When I entered the coffee shop, I didn’t see Lincoln, so I ordered a light Caramel Frappuccino and a turkey and Swiss sandwich. Then I grabbed a table in the back and flipped through a magazine as I ate my food.

  “You’re still addicted to caramel frappes, huh?” Lincoln said as he sat down on the other side of the table with his double-shot espresso and a ham and Swiss sandwich.

  “You scared me.” I nervously toyed with the napkin in my hand and looked around for any familiar faces. “I didn’t even see you come in.”

  “It’s the shades and the snapback. I was sitting in the corner when you came in. I figured if you couldn’t figure out who I was, then no one else could, either,” he stated before drinking some of his espresso.

  “True. And you’re still stuck on your canned Starbucks energy drinks.”

  “Yep.” He sat back and looked me up and down. “You fancy, huh?”

  “Hair done, nails done, everything did.” I finished the song behind a blush.

  “Only you would know to finish the lyrics.” He gazed at me with the same one-sided smirk he’d always had when we used to clown around. Just as suddenly, his expression turned solemn and serious. “But on the real, you look good. Although, you’re a little overdressed for shopping.”

  Of course, he couldn’t help the dig, and I rolled my eyes at his smart-ass remark. “That’s how fancy people do it.”

  “Good one, Ma.”

  The immediate silence that followed made that previous nervous feeling creep up my spine, so I sat back and sipped my Frappuccino to give myself a little boost of confidence. “I guess I should tell you why I summoned you here.”

  “That would be helpful.”

  I took deep breath, and out of nowhere, a few tears sprang to my eyes. Lincoln grabbed my hand and held it.

  “Are you okay?”

  I grabbed the napkin and dabbed my eyes. “Thank God for waterproof makeup.”

  His lip twisted at what I’d said, and he shook his head. “You women, I swear.”

  Even though he was making fun of my obvious theatrics, I couldn’t help but laugh. I needed it. My eyes darted to our hands. He still held my hand in his larger one. Rather than pull back, we lingered there in the familiar moment. I was transported back in time, to the days when this gesture was normal, instead of inappropriate. His thumb glided across my fingers, but he stopped when it touched my wedding ring. He moved his thumb back, as if he’d gotten a needle prick, and his eyes bore down at the gleaming diamonds. The Charice original.

  “What a rock,” he said, lifting my ring finger.

  The way he stared at my ring made me a bit uncomfortable, so I slipped my hand away and decided to change the subject. “Um, well, maybe I can start on a different note. I saw London.”

  He conceded to my request without pressing me about my ring or my marriage. “Yeah, she’s been on my nerves to come and see you. Given the circumstances, I don’t think it’s a good idea, so she’s a little upset with me.”

  “Yeah, I understand. How’s she adjusting?”

  He sighed. “As best she can, I guess. I haven’t had any real battles with her yet. She just doesn’t open up to me as much as I would like. She talks to my mom a lot, though, so I get my pertinent information from her on the sly. I know she misses her mom, and I just hope that Lauren gets better, for London’s sake. I don’t want it to take a toll on London, so I let her have free rein when it com
es to communication with her grandma and auntie. She talks to her grandma once a week, and I think she talks to her aunt Rosalyn every day. Thank God for unlimited minutes.”

  “Well, wait until she’s a teen. It’s very sweet that you allow her to stay in contact with her mother’s family, despite all the struggles you went through with them.”

  He finished off his sandwich and wiped his mouth. “Thank you. We’re still cool on each other, but we sit our personal bullshit aside for London. She’s all that matters.” He snapped his fingers. “I wanted to tell you that she wants to dance too. I wish you could teach her. It would be the perfect solution. She was enrolled in ballet and hip-hop back in Texas, so I have to find a dance academy for her here. And she loves her room too. Obviously, I didn’t tell her who designed it, but she loves it.”

  “That’s great.” I beamed. My heart soared from the knowledge that in some way I was able to assist in making her happy. I loved London like my own, and I missed her so much. “I wish things were different, so that I could teach her to dance. I would love to do that. But it really seems like you’re definitely adjusting well to being a full-time parent. I’m proud of you.”

  Nodding, he sat back and took a sip of his espresso. “Yeah, I appreciate that. I have to be there for her. She’s the only child I have.”

  Full of conviction, I looked downward. “Yeah.” I sighed and looked at him. “I guess I need to get back to the real subject.”

  He raised his hands up in the air. “Whenever you’re ready.”

  I took a deep breath and looked Lincoln in the eyes. I felt so conflicted. In a way, I knew I was getting the answers that I wanted and probably needed to hear, but as Ryan’s wife, I felt as if I were betraying his trust. I was the one speaking of dividing and conquering. If Ryan knew I was here and for what reason, there would be a divide between us so huge that it had been given a name—divorce. Still, I needed to know. I just prayed like hell I wasn’t opening Pandora’s Box.

  “Um, I realize I shouldn’t be telling you half of what I’m about to say, but I have to, because I need answers,” I confessed to him.