Never Again, No More 4

by Untamed

  She sighed and then got up and hugged me. “Okay, Mami. Everything will be okay.”

  I kissed her on the forehead and then walked out in a hurry. She made me want to break down, and I could barely make it out of the kitchen without a few tears escaping. I went outside to get some fresh air, and lo and behold, Emilio and my mom were out there. This was getting a little out of hand.

  “How’d she take it?” my dad asked.

  “Better than I would have. She’s mature beyond her years.”

  “Kids are resilient like that,” my mom said.

  Since they were both there, I figured there was no time like the present to talk to them about Mike’s proposition. I sat down. “I don’t mean to intrude on your private moment, but I do have a question to ask.”

  An unsure glance passed between them. “What is it?” my mom asked.

  “I think that with all our differences, it may be better if I live somewhere else until I find a place to stay. I’m going through a lot with Aldris, and to be honest, your new relationship bothers me. I can’t change what you both want, because you’re adults. Hell, you’re my parents. At any rate, rather than drag Nadia around the world, I would appreciate if I could let her stay here. I could really focus on finding a place and getting my head in the right space.”

  My dad gazed at my mom for approval, and she nodded. “It’s your call. I don’t have a problem with it.”

  “Who are you going to be staying with?” my dad asked.

  “My friend Mike.”

  He eyed me suspiciously. “Jumping into another relationship to replace one is not healthy—”

  Putting my hand up, I cut him off. “I said friend. Not boyfriend. He is only my friend.” Like he was one who could talk about jumping into relationships.

  “If you feel that is best. I don’t mind. I know you have to go back to work soon, and the noise level in the house will probably distract you,” he said, giving up on his argument. Not that I was really asking him for permission anyway.

  “Thank you,” I said and stood up. “Let me go explain this to Nadia. Hopefully, I’ll have a place to stay quickly.”

  “I told you. We’ve got you,” my mom said. “Regardless of how you feel about our relationship, we love you, Lucinda. You and Nadia. That won’t ever change.”

  “I love you too.” I hugged my mom and intentionally left out Emilio. He hadn’t earned the privilege from me yet.

  Walking inside, I felt such an amazing sense of relief. I was shocked that my mom had agreed to the living arrangement, but I thought they were thankful that I and my negativity toward their relationship were leaving, so they’d agree to anything. It was all to the good, though. I didn’t want to be around them any more than they cared to be around me, so it worked out.

  Nadia was a little upset by the news, though, but after I explained that she’d see me every day, she was cool with it. Hell, truth be told, I was missing her already, but I needed this time to myself. I needed to heal so that I could continue to be beneficial to her and myself.

  The arrangement worked out for my job as well. I’d taken a personal leave when all the shit with Aldris went down, and I’d have to be back to work soon. I had to set up my laptop at Mike’s house so that I could begin work in the next couple of days, but that was no biggie since he was an IT guru.

  I couldn’t believe what close friends Mike and I had become. It was weird that just a few months ago, I could’ve spit on the ground he walked on, and now I could kiss the very feet he used to walk on the ground. I also wondered how my living arrangement was going to affect his friendship with Aldris. Even though I hated Aldris, Mike didn’t have to hate him, and he was putting his lifelong friendship on the line for me. I could never forget that. I wasn’t going to tell Aldris about my temporary stay if Mike didn’t, but that was not because of Aldris. That was for Mike. I couldn’t and wouldn’t come between them and mar their friendship.

  When I got to Mike’s place, we made sure to set up my workstation first, and then I moved into his daughter’s room. I felt ten again with the Nickelodeon posters and the décor, but the comfortable full-size bed, my own bathroom, and the television made it worthwhile.

  I heard a knock at the bedroom door as I was unpacking my clothes. “Come in.”

  “Getting settled?” Mike asked.

  “Yes. I can’t thank you enough. This is a breath of fresh air to me.”

  “You’ve already thanked me enough. I saw the new case of Bud Light in the fridge,” he laughed.

  “A deal is a deal, right?”

  “Yep. Well, I ordered some Pizza Hut. If you want some, you’re welcome to it. And there are some UFC bouts coming on if you want to watch them with me.”

  I put down the items I was arranging on the dresser. “Pizza, beer, and UFC. I’m in.” I hightailed it past him as he laughed.

  We were sitting there analyzing the fights and eating when I noticed Mike shaking his head. “What?” I laughed. “You’re amazed at how much I’m into this, huh?”

  He drank a swig of his beer. “No, I’m amazed at how Aldris fucked up. I don’t know what he thought he was missing. A part of me keeps trying to find something wrong, but I can’t,” he admitted.

  “I guess he was missing Jennifer rather than it being something about me.”

  He quickly changed the subject back to the UFC, and I was glad. No talk of Aldris for at least one night was all I wanted. We watched a couple more bouts, until I decided it was time to hit the sack. I showered, brushed my teeth, and put on my black silk pajama pants and tank top.

  By the time I’d hopped in the bed, rain was pelting the window, lightning was streaking across the sky, and rolling thunder was rumbling. As I lay there listening to the ferocity of the storm grow, I became nervous. I’d been on my own all these years, but it was the first time in forever I’d been without Nadia and Aldris. I felt scared and lonely. I wanted to call Nadia, but I knew she was asleep, so I lay there, scared out of my mind. After a good ten minutes, I went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water to calm my nerves and ran smack into Mike.

  “Oh, shit,” I screamed. “I thought you were asleep.”

  “I thought you were too. What are you doing up?”

  “What are you doing up?” I asked him right back.

  “I was checking the house to make sure I locked up.”

  “I was just—” The flash of lightning, followed by a clap of thunder, caused me to jump out of my skin. “Scared,” I added, finishing my sentence hurriedly.

  He laughed. “Of God’s weather?”

  I put my hands on my hips. “Ha ha. Very funny. It may sound crazy, but I haven’t slept alone in seven years. If it wasn’t me and Nadia, it was me and Aldris. So I’m a little scared and lonely right now.”

  “I understand. Well, stay up as long as you like. Mi casa es su casa,” he said and then went into his bedroom.

  I sat in the kitchen for a minute, but that didn’t help, either, so I tiptoed to Mike’s room and knocked on the door. “Are you up?”

  “Yes. Come in.”

  “I don’t mean to be a bother to you, but can you stay up with me until the weather stops?”

  He sat up. “Lucinda, why don’t you just lie in here? I don’t bite.”

  “I couldn’t.” Just then, there was a clap of thunder so loud, I damn near dove for Mike’s bed. “Okay, maybe for a little bit,” I said with the covers pulled up to my eyeballs.

  He got a kick out of my fear, then scooted away from me. “Good night, Lucinda.”

  “Good night.”

  Lightning flickered through his curtains, and I instantly snuggled against him as I used to do with Aldris, but then I quickly moved back. “I’m sorry. That was inappropriate. It’s just a habit I had with Aldris.”

  “No harm,” he said, lying on his back, stiff as a board.

  “I’m making you uncomfortable. I should get up.”

  His warm hand on my waist stopped me from moving. “No, it’s j
ust a little odd. I’m cool.”

  I inched away from him, and as I was listening to the rise and fall of his breathing, sleep found its way into my eyes. I was so used to being snuggled under Aldris that I moved under Mike again.

  “What are you doing?” he whispered sleepily.

  “I’m sorry. I’m just used to—”

  He covered my lips with his index finger. “It’s okay. Go back to sleep,” he whispered, encircling me with his arms. A minute later he drifted to sleep.

  But now, I was wide awake. The heat between my legs told me so. What the hell? I loved Aldris, but something about being here with Mike like this was turning me on. Biting my lip, I gazed up at him as he slept so peacefully. He was absolutely gorgeous. His build, his smell, his goatee. I had to get away from this man.

  His eyes popped open. “Lu? What are you—”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to stare. I’m sorry. I really need to go.”

  We lay there staring at each other, unsure of what to say or do. My mind said, Get out, but as I went to move, I felt Mike’s hand on top of my mine. I looked back at him, and my body betrayed my thoughts. Slowly, I leaned toward him. Hesitantly, he met my movement. Breathing deeply, we allowed our lips to meet after a pregnant pause, and we lightly brushed each other with a kiss. Unable to resist, he pulled me to him, and we kissed passionately.

  “Mmm, Mike,” I moaned, straddling him. He kissed my neck, and his hands found their way inside my pants to rub on my ass. “Ay, Papi.”

  “Oh, baby,” he moaned as he caressed my backside and his manhood rose to life underneath me. And, damn, did it have a long rise to the top.

  Suddenly, Mike pushed me off him and scrambled to sit upright. “Shit, Aldris!”

  “What? What about Aldris?” I knew it was wrong, but my body was on fire for him, and I wanted that comfort.

  “He’s my friend, Lu. I can’t do this to him,” he said, taking deep breaths. “I can’t do this to you.”

  I sat up behind him and began massaging his shoulders. “Do you want me?”

  “Lu, that’s not fair.” He looked back at me. “You’re fine as all hell, and lying in my bed with that sexy shit on and smelling good, and it’s raining, and you can kiss—”

  “Do you want me, Mike?”

  “Aldris is my friend. It doesn’t matter what I want.”

  “So you do,” I whispered in his ear.

  “Do you want me, Lu?”

  I looked at him seductively and smiled. “Yes.” I ran my hands down his back. Yes, I wanted Mike, but for all the wrong reasons. I wanted him because I knew he cared, and I needed to feel loved. I needed the pain of losing Aldris to go away. I wanted to hurt him like he’d hurt me.

  “Is that because of me or because you’re pissed at Aldris?” he asked. “Don’t do something you’ll regret later. You still love him, Lucinda. That doesn’t just go away.”

  He was right. I was vulnerable, and I was confusing my lust for him with my loss of Aldris. I was attracted to Mike, yes, but if I did this, it’d be out of selfish revenge and not because I truly wanted to be with Mike.

  “You’re right,” I said, relenting, and stood up, struggling to fight back tears. “I don’t know what came over me. I’m so confused and hurt right now.” Light tears began to flow down my cheeks. “Now that I’ve made a complete idiot of myself, I really better go to Michaela’s room.”

  He stood up and walked over to me. He held my face between the palms of his hands. “I know you’re hurting, Lucinda. I realize that you just want to be loved. I’m not gonna flex and say I didn’t want to, because, woman, you did something to me. I can admit that. A part of me would love to explore where things could go between us, but you and Aldris are my friends first. I abstain for the benefit of both of those friendships and for the relationship that may still exist between you and Aldris. Just know that if I knew tonight was going down for all the right reasons, I wouldn’t hesitate . . . one . . . second,” he explained, and with that, he kissed my forehead and opened his bedroom door. “Good night, Lu.”

  I walked out and turned around. “Thanks for being a good friend. Good night, Mike.”

  Damn, I was wrong. There was one man left who thought with the head on his shoulders instead of the one between his thighs, and that thought did the exact opposite of what I wanted. It made me want Mike that much more. I fell asleep with thoughts of Mike running through my mind. But for the sake of our friendship, I had to fight this thing . . . this thing . . . growing . . . between Mike and me.

  Chapter 9

  Lincoln

  Ryan managed to weasel his way out one more time. This slimy bastard was so good, he could sense his downfall in the air. Sometimes I wondered if he had a damn GPS system on both my car and Charice’s, because I could not believe I was so close to blowing the lid off that muthafucka without anything intentional on my behalf and I still didn’t succeed. By the hair on his balls, he managed to dodge his own bullet again. I was almost positive that the shit Ryan wanted was nowhere near an emergency, but he needed an excuse to try to save his marriage, and he knew that if he cried wolf, Charice would coming running. Well, Little Bo-Peep better keep watching his sheep, because if I ever got the opportunity to tell Charice what she wanted to know, I was gonna sing like a fucking canary.

  The thing that really bothered me, though, was the fact that I hadn’t heard from Charice. I knew that she was okay, because I saw her carrying grocery bags into her house the day before, but she was so adamant about hearing my story that it was almost unreal that she hadn’t tried to communicate with me. I wanted to call or text her, but the last thing I needed was for Ryan to catch wind of that. Charice would be in a worse position than she already was with Ryan, and I wasn’t going to be the cause of that. Therefore, I was stuck in limbo, wondering what the fuck was going on in the Westmore residence.

  “Dad,” London yelled.

  “What?” I said. I panicked and slammed on the brakes of my Mercedes G-wagon.

  “There’s a dance studio over there. Look. Can we check it out? Please?” London begged.

  “Don’t scare me like that. The way you yelled, I thought I was about to hit a car or something. Jeez.”

  “Well . . .” She folded her arms and gave me the side-eye as if she were the parent. “If you stopped daydreaming about Ms. Charice, then you would know that the car in front of you had already turned. Can we go before you miss the turn?”

  Smart ass. I turned on the blinker to make the left turn instead. “And I wasn’t daydreaming about Ms. Charice. What would give you that impression, London?”

  She sat back in her seat and looked over at me sympathetically. “The other night when you fell asleep across the bed, you kept saying her name in your sleep. If you miss her, Dad, why don’t you tell her?”

  Even my child knew I had it bad. Damn. I thought that I’d managed to purge my feelings for Charice, but that impromptu meetup had stirred all the feelings that I’d tried to quell. I hated that my daughter had to witness my heartache, and it was definitely a subject that I could not delve into with her, although I knew she told me the truth out of concern for me and due to the fact that she loved Charice.

  “It’s not that simple, London. She’s married.”

  “Well, why did you all break up in the first place? I liked Ms. Charice,” she said, with a pout spread over her face.

  “That’s a story that you are too young to know about,” I said, pulling up in the parking lot.

  She pursed her lips. “I am ten. Not five.”

  “And you ain’t twenty-five, either.”

  “Kids today are more mature than when you were growing up,” she said matter-of-factly.

  “And that’s you all’s problem today. You want to be grown in the wrong situations. Be mature when it comes to doing your schoolwork and learning, to listening to music that educates rather than discusses killin’ and drug abusin’, and be mature enough to know that no matter how mature you think you are,
you ain’t grown yet.”

  “Well, Dad, you listen to Rick Ross, and he talks about killin’ and drug dealin’,” London so graciously pointed out.

  “True. However, I am a mature adult. I have the mature adult sense to know that is just music. That’s not life or the life I want to live. You kids get so caught up and gassed up on what these rappers are saying, without thinking that if they were truly doing everything in those songs, they wouldn’t have time to be writing the songs, rapping, making money, and performing at concerts. I realize that’s not their lifestyle, but you kids don’t. Then there are some knuckleheaded sixteen-year-olds running around, thinking they’re Big Meech and not knowing who in the hell Big Meech really is, not knowing that he’s in prison because of the things that Rick Ross raps about.”

  Her eyes grew wide with surprise. “For real?”

  “Yes, London. For real,” I confirmed, realizing that I’d just dropped some knowledge on her.

  “Wow. I never knew that. I guess you are right, Daddy,” she told me, relenting.

  Inside, I smiled. Score one for the parents! “Yes, London. I am. I probably shouldn’t be listening to Rick Ross in your presence anyway, so I’m going to stop doing that and lead by example. So no hard-core gangsta rap while we’re together.”

  “This is gonna be funny. You love rap,” she teased behind a fit of giggles.

  After laughing at her joke, I admitted, “Yes, I do. But I will sacrifice to show you a better way. As parents, we don’t always get it right, because we’re human too. What I can give you is the knowledge that I’ve been ten and any other age that you will get to, so I know what pressures and consequences lie ahead for certain things. If it wasn’t for my dad, I don’t know where me and my brother would be. I certainly wouldn’t be an athlete, that’s for sure. It’s my duty to look out for you in the same way.”

  We finally got out of the SUV, and once I went around the car and met her, she hugged me. “Thanks, Daddy. I love you.”