My Roommate Is a Reaper

by Andrew Peed

  Waylon sat down at the drawing table and started to work on the outlines for the scene that befell him earlier. A scared man in the basement being chased by a multiheaded monster. He had to fill in the bits about the monster’s body because all he could see was eyes and teeth, but he had a pretty decent imagination.

  “Am I going insane?” Waylon asked himself as he made marks on the page.

  “Yes and no,” a voice whispered behind his head. He whipped around, flipping his pencil around in his hand so that he could stab whoever it was.

  There was no one and nothing there.

  “Hello?” He stood up from the stool. “Blake, this is not funny.”

  He searched the room, but there was nothing there. He knew in that moment that he was going crazy. There was no sanity left, and he was going to end up the guy talking to himself, wondering aimlessly around the city. He turned around to return to his drawing.

  But the drawing was not what he had turned from. The drawing was several hours farther along than it could have been. There was no way that he had drawn that much. It was nearly completed, with beautiful coloring and shading.

  “What the HELL?” he yelled.

  He took a few deep breaths. He had lost time drawing before. That was nothing new, but usually it wasn’t so literal. He turned on some music and went back to work on the half-finished piece of art.

  ~//~

  When someone rang the doorbell in the old house, it was not subtle. Large bells the size of Waylon’s head rang all around the house. This was the sound that woke him. He peeled a scratch piece of paper from his face. He had fallen asleep on the drawing table. It looked like he had spent dozens of hours working on the drawing.

  The doorbell rang again. He jumped up and raced up the stairs. While running to the door, he became aware of how desperately he needed a shower. He felt the filth all over his body.

  When he opened the door, there was a woman standing on the porch. She was about five feet tall and had straight deep-blue hair that went just past her shoulders. She had emerald eyes and a sharp, cute face.

  “Hello,” Waylon said. He leaned on the door, then he caught himself staring at her. She wore shredded blue jeans and a black hoodie. The hood was down, but it looked like it had been up before she rang the doorbell.

  “Good evening.” The girl smiled.

  “Are you here about the roommate ad?” Waylon asked. He noticed that the sun was going down. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, but it was dead again.

  “The what?” she asked and tilted her head.

  “The roommate ad that I posted on the internet last night,” Waylon said, giving her a confused look.

  “Of course. That is what I am here about,” she said as she crinkled her nose.

  “Please come in. Would you like something to drink?” Waylon asked, stepping out of her path and directing her into the sitting room.

  “I would love something to drink.” She grinned and walked past Waylon into the house.

  “Anything in mind?” Waylon asked. He glanced outside but didn’t see any car. How she had she gotten out to the house?

  “Anything is fine,” she said. She sat down on the couch and put her hands into her hoodie’s pocket.

  “I’ll put on some tea.” Waylon nodded and pointed to the kitchen.

  “That sounds great!” she said with an even bigger grin.

  Chapter 03: New Job, New City

  “You have to move your car!” an angry man yelled at Kaylie. He was dressed in a white T-shirt and dirty jeans. There were stains all over his clothes, and on top of all that, he wore a blood-soaked apron. His balding head reflected the morning sunlight, and Kaylie couldn’t help but notice the meat cleaver hanging from his belt.

  “Yeah, man! I was just moving right now!” Kaylie yelled from the driver’s seat of the car where she had just been sleeping. She gave the man a friendly wave, but if not for the meat cleaver it would have been a different gesture.

  She started the car, which did not actually belong to her, and pulled out of the alley onto the street. She needed to ditch the car and find a place to stay. She was getting really sick of sleeping in cars, and the feeling really reflected in the pain in her neck.

  Kaylie’s normal struggle to maintain a sunny disposition was even harder when all she wanted to do was brood. Irritation ruled her as she thought about how abruptly her supervisor had told her that she needed to relocate to a new city. And now, here she was, and before she even got a chance to find a place to live, she was on the job, hunting a spirit.

  Life as a Reaper, she told herself.

  Kaylie pulled into a grocery store parking lot and parked the borrowed car near the rear of the empty lot. Hopefully it would take a while before the car was noticed. She arrived not a moment too soon, as the car died—it was completely out of gas. She grabbed her bag from the back seat and got out. Everything she owned was in that bag, but that was more than you would think just looking at the average-sized backpack.

  Before leaving the car behind completely, Kaylie held out her hand and waved it toward the car. With a few words from a dead language, any evidence that she had ever been there was wiped out of existence.

  New Harmon City was not somewhere that Kaylie wanted to live, not that it was a bad place; it was just a nothing place. Nothing happened here. There was no reason for it to even be on the map. The sad truth was that she would have to reap for decades before she would get the chance to choose where she worked. Sometimes she regretted her decision to become a reaper, but it was too late to worry about it.

  Kaylie pulled her phone out of her bag and unlocked the screen. It was a sad piece of technology. She had broken the screen twice and done extensive damage to the poor thing’s frame. She couldn’t afford a new one, though, and the phone was an important part of her job. They were also very, very expensive. Warlocks that could fashion new ones did not work cheaply, no matter how cute you were.

  Holding up the phone and keeping her eyes intently locked on the screen, she spun around in a complete circle until it turned a solid blue color. This meant that she was pointed in the direction of the person who needed her assistance. She started to walk in that direction. She had to hop over a fence, but for the most part, it looked like a straight shot.

  The phone was the most versatile tool in Kaylie’s reaping arsenal. It not only pointed her in the direction of spirits that she had been assigned, but it also gave her tons of information in a profile on the target. She opened the profile and looked it over while she walked. According to the information that she had, he worked at a car dealership and was going to die of a heart attack.

  If she completed this reap and took the spirit to a broker, there was a good chance that she could afford to get a place to sleep that wasn’t a car, even if it was a crappy motel. Sooner rather than later, someone was going to catch on that she was borrowing people’s cars, even if she was using magic to cover her tracks.

  It was easy enough for Kaylie to make her way through the city streets. Tuning out the world around her and just focusing on the blue indicator on her phone made it that much easier. She had a tendency of taking each obstacle as they arose as opposed to trying to figure out everything at once. One day at a time was the motto that she lived by.

  Outside of the dealership, Kaylie stopped and turned to look at the place. It specialized in used cars, and she could practically smell the lies pouring from every surface. They had a sweet apple scent to her. The truth smelled of bitter tea. The ability was hard for her to explain or even understand, but sometimes it made her life so easy.

  Kaylie did her best to blend in and look like she wanted to buy a car as she walked around and looked at all of the cars in the showroom. I wasn’t long before a young man walked across the floor and approached her with a forced but practiced smile. She was actually surprised at how long it took. The way that she dressed had probably detoured someone from coming over sooner because she had about as much money as it looked
like she did.

  “Can I interest you in something today? A car, truck, or maybe an SUV?” the young man asked. He was maybe in his twenties. He was not ugly, and if Kaylie was in a better place, he might have been someone that she could be interested in. But he was not the target, and so she needed to detour him.

  “Yeah, I came down here a few days ago, and I was helped by a man, but I don’t remember his name,” Kaylie said as sheepishly as she could.

  “Do you remember what he looked like?” the young man asked. He helplessly fell under Kaylie’s spell, or rather her feminine wiles. She could smell her own apple sweet lie.

  “Yeah, um, he was a little older, and had a bald spot. He wore glasses, and that day he was wearing a flannel jacket.” Kaylie sighed. She tried to loosely recall all of the information in the file so it didn’t sound weird.

  “That sounds like Erik. I’ll go and see if he has a moment.” The young man gave a half bow. She thought that he was a nice enough guy. He seemed sweet, and even after it was clear that she was not there to buy a car from him, he was still helpful.

  Kaylie wandered around the cars while she waited. Reapers had access to a great deal of knowledge about the past, and even a few glimpses about the future. She could touch an object and sense some of the events that had transpired through the object’s existence. She could do it with people too, but she didn’t like to. She touched the hood of one of the cars that sat in the showroom.

  The sticker was chock full of lies. The car had been in two accidents, and someone had been killed in the second one. When they changed the oil, they had not changed the filter, and the transmission was bad because of sticking, which was what had caused the two accidents.

  The young man returned after a few moments, frowning. He put his hands into his pockets and stopped to stand right next to Kaylie. They both gazed at the ugly green car for a few moments of silence.

  “Erik is helping another customer at the moment. Is there anything that I can do to help you?” the young man asked.

  “No, thank you. I’ll wait,” Kaylie said with her cutest smile and a curt nod.

  “Well, please let me know if that changes,” the young man said while returning her smile, leaving her be. He walked away into another small room that she guessed was probably his office.

  Kaylie continued to wander around the showroom. The cars that populated the room were all horrible death traps. All of their so-called service records were posted in the windows, and they were nothing more than lies, half-ass work, and shortcuts.

  She made her way in Erik’s general direction. He was helping a man in his thirties and a woman who was a little younger—and very pregnant—pick out a minivan. Kaylie could see the apprehension in the man’s eyes, but it was far overshadowed by the woman’s joy.

  The conversation between the three of them got heated, but in a good way. Erik took the man’s hand with both of his and shook it enthusiastically. The woman leaned in and hugged Erik. He seemed like a good man. Kaylie didn’t know if he knew about the lies that were being sold, but he seemed genuinely happy. She didn’t smell any sweet apples coming from the salesman, so at least he believed what he was saying. It was an ability that needed a fair bit of interpretation. After all, truth, at times, could be subjective.

  The three of them went into Erik’s office. They sat down and started to fill out the paperwork that would be needed to close the deal. From what Kaylie could gather, the amount of paperwork at this car lot was far less than it should have been.

  She waited patiently, wandering around the showroom floor. When the happy couple stood up and was led out the front door, Kaylie followed. Erik showed them to a nice-looking—emphasis on the word looking—van that would be perfect for a new family. She hung out just inside the door, watching the interaction just outside.

  The man helped his wife up into the passenger seat, making sure that she was comfortable. The husband then walked around the car and got into the driver’s seat. They waved to Erik as they drove to turn the van around so that they could leave. Erick waved back as he started to walk toward the building.

  Kaylie didn’t see it coming, and neither did Erik. In his file, it said that he was going to die of a heart attack. Kaylie thought that meant that she would get close to him before he went, but that was not the case. The newish van came blasting across her field of vision and plowed straight into Erik. They couldn’t stop and smashed into another one of the cars on the lot.

  Kaylie ran out of the building and straight to the pregnant woman’s door. She wrenched it open and reached inside. The pregnant woman was rubbing her face from the impact of the airbag. The man in the driver’s seat was doing the same thing.

  “What happened?” Kaylie asked, touching the woman’s hand. Instantly she was hit by a wave of relief. The baby was safe. The mother would be in pain for a few weeks, but the baby was fine.

  “I tried to stop, but the brakes wouldn’t work. The damn thing just kept speeding up no matter what I tried. I even tried shifting it into park,” the man explained. Blood was dripping down his nose onto the steering wheel and floor.

  Kaylie took a step back from the van door and peered around to the back. Erik’s body lay on the ground, half crushed. Blood had already begun to pool around the body.

  “Shit!” Kaylie growled. She was going to have to chase the spirit. She hated when she had to chase spirits. No matter what, it never went her way.

  “Is he dead?” the man in the driver’s seat asked.

  “Yeah, but that’s not the problem.” Kaylie shook her head. She ran to the body and knelt down beside him. His spirit was long gone. He’d likely took off running the moment death had befallen him.

  “What do you mean that’s not the problem?” the man asked in total confusion. He climbed out of the van and stumbled over to the body, dropping to his knees on the pavement.

  “You don’t need to move until the paramedics get here,” Kaylie said. She touched his shoulder. He was going to be just fine, but he might have some trouble dealing with the event. Sirens blared in the distance, already coming to clean up the scene.

  “Why?” the man sobbed.

  “This wasn’t your fault,” Kaylie said, shaking her head.

  She pulled her phone out of her pocket and held it out. The spirit detection application was still open and keyed in to Erik. She pointed it at the body, and the screen went solid white. Moving the phone around, she found the trial. The spirit had headed off toward the edge of town. It was odd because the files noted that he had lived in the complete opposite direction. She would have assumed that he would go to his family.

  The dead were always unpredictable, and she should have known.

  Kaylie didn’t spend any more time with the vessel. She ran in the direction the spirit was traveling. She reached under her hoodie behind her back. Attached there was a pair of sheaths that held her soul daggers. This was a most special dagger, given to her by a high reaper. She’d wanted a scythe, but the dagger was what she got. She pulled it out, watching her phone closely. If the color started to fade, she was going in the wrong direction.

  Not a soul would see the dagger, and from what Kaylie had been told, what a person would see in her hand would be subjective. Some people would see a banana, some a stick, there was no telling. It was different for each person.

  She followed the trail into an alley. She kept her phone up so that she wouldn’t miss any turns. There was no indication as to where he was going. She finally spotted him jumping over a fence a few yards away at the edge of a field. He obviously had not discovered that he could just walk through the fence as if it were not there. She ran along the edge of the field so that she could go around the fence, as she would not be able to go through it, nor would she be able to jump over it.

  Kaylie stopped and tried to catch her breath. She leaned over and rested her hands on her knees. She was swearing in her head at the asshole that had given her the assignment. One day she would be higher ranked th
an him, and she was going to abuse her power to put him in his place.

  On the other side of the fence, she found herself on a property that looked like it was once part of a plantation. There was a large house on one end that had a long driveway leading up to a loop in front of the main door. The driveway was guarded on either side by rows of tall, thick, unmanicured trees.

  Erik’s spirit was heading straight for the house. Kaylie coughed up some phlegm and ran toward him. The spirit ducked into a building between where he had jumped the fence and the house.

  Just remember that you have bills to pay, Kaylie kept telling herself. She skidded to a stop in front of the building. It looked like it was some kind of workshop. Outside, there was an old forge, and in addition there was an anvil and a small overhang that could house horses, clearly used long ago.

  Kaylie opened the door. There was no light on the inside the building. It did not help things that the day was already starting to wind down. The sun was on the other side of the building. It looked like no one had been in the building for a very long time.

  “Erik? I’m here to help you,” Kaylie said. She crept slowly into the dark room. There were workbenches around the walls. The lights that lined the room were old candle lanterns that had been converted to gaslight but never converted to electric.

  There was a lot of weird energy in the room that was throwing off Kaylie’s sense for the spirit. Even her phone was even acting up, though it could have been because of the weird energy or the abuse that the phone had suffered. She couldn’t really be sure.

  “Leave me be, creature,” Erik spat from the shadow of the corner.

  “Hey! Who are you calling creature?” Kaylie demanded in a highly offended tone.

  “You are not normal,” Erik said, moving into a defensive stance, acting like he was a cornered animal, almost snarling. This told Kaylie that he still did not know that he was incorporeal and would phase through just about everything.