We arrived at the hotel. It sure was a fancy place, like a palace. The lobby took my breath away. We'd stayed in some fancy hotels, but his was so much lusher than any of them. It had those fancy French chairs and all kinds of chic Parisian touches.
I bet it had an awesome breakfast buffet, too.
I went up to my room, and wow, it was perfect, even if I didn't have an Eiffel Tower view. It had a sweet little balcony overlooking the street, with a nice cushy chair next to it. I opened the doors and stepped outside, hoping to see someone in a striped top carrying a baguette under their arm. Maybe with a beret on their head.
The bed looked like it'd be a dream to sleep in, too.
I'd just finished looking around when Polly called me. "Do you want to be here for this?" she asked.
"The talk with Crow? Hell yeah. Are we meeting in your room because you have the view?"
"Of course. Damo will be here too."
God, this was like introducing the new man to my parents. The whole thing was totally cringeworthy. Polly could've just said it was all fine with her, but I she took secret delight in doing this to me.
I touched up my makeup before heading to Polly's room. I wanted to look pretty for Crow. I ran my fingers through my hair, giving it a bit more body, too. Then I headed down the hallway to Polly's room.
Crow was just getting out of the elevator. I walked toward him, but something stopped me. I'd never been shy before in my life, ever. It was an unknown emotion for me, but when I saw him suddenly like that, a tremor ran through my body. He was a fine-looking man, and he was mine. But was he mine enough to make a hug in the hotel hallway appropriate?
Instead, I grinned, then averted my eyes.
Yikes. My face heated. I had to be going bright red. What was happening to me? This wasn't me.
In the short distance to Polly's room, we never exchanged a word. But as we waited for Polly to open the door, he reached out and wrapped his hand around mine. The warmth from his hand spread through my body. With my hand in his, nothing could go wrong. I smiled up at him.
I walked in and went straight to the window, dragging Crow with me.
"Amazing. It's like something from a movie. I'm so taking photos in your room for my Instagram," I said. "The public need to see me here. It's so Paris."
Damo laughed. "Sure. Do you want us to get one of the lighting guys in for your photo shoot?"
"Damo! Don't encourage her. It's our room," Polly said. "She'll do it."
"Hey," I said. "It's not about me. It's about my Instagram followers."
Crow and I sat down on the sofa. I crossed my legs.
"So, we're gathered here today," I said. "Gathered to do what? Give a stamp of approval to Crow dating Fay? So, get out the stamp and stamp me up."
Polly sat in the chair beside me. "Not so fast. We need to have some rules around this relationship."
I studied my nails. If she said no sex, I'd die. I didn't want my sex life up for discussion. Surely, she wouldn't say that.
"Okay, hit me," I said.
"Firstly, nothing is going to interfere with the tour," she said. "Music first and the love stuff second."
Crow nodded.
That seemed reasonable, on the surface. But it could be a trap.
"Wait. I need more details. I'm not agreeing unless I know what I'm in for. This rehearsing 18 hours a day is not on. I need a life too."
Polly looked at Damo, and he nodded. They'd discussed this beforehand. That made my neck prickle, the thought of Damo and Polly sitting around discussing me like that.
"You get to have a life. Just not too much of a life," she said. "We're on tour. This is work."
"We have a rest day today," he said. "Make the most of it."
"You get a few hours before sound check every day, too," Polly added. "Maybe more if you get up early."
"And after shows," I said.
"Not too late," Polly said. She leaned forward, staring at my face. "You don't want to get bags under your eyes."
"Screw you, Polly. I can use concealer."
Crow sat back with his arms folded and his mouth twitching. Did this amuse him? This wasn't funny. The more Polly talked, the more I wanted to die.
Fay
"WHAT'S UP?" I ASKED Crow.
He was the one who had wanted to talk to Polly, but I'd ended up doing all the talking. What was up with that?
Crow glanced at Damo and the two of them grinned, but this was our together time we were talking about. I needed to protect that.
"Are you going to make a color-coded schedule of your time off?" he asked. His eyes sparkled with amusement.
Even though he was joking, I could see the merit in the idea.
"Well, that would be a grand idea. Then I could plan ahead. How about it, Polly?"
Polly shrugged. "Do you think I have time for that?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I think you do. I need to be able to plan ahead. Otherwise, you can spring surprise rehearsals on me at any minute. If we have set times, then it's easier for everyone. Jax, too. We need work/life balance, here."
"I'm with Fay," Damo said. "I'd like to plan ahead too."
Polly tsked and looked away. "Anyway, the next rule," she said.
"Do you have to call them rules? It sounds like I'm 12 years old and need a curfew. Please, do not say I have to have a curfew."
Polly grinned. Jeez, now she'd want to give me a curfew just to torture me. "No curfew, but you have to turn up ready to play."
"I always do."
"And no sneaking around."
Wasn't that the whole point of this meeting? So I didn't have to? More like, the point was Polly stretching out her torment for as long as possible.
I plastered on a big grin. I'd fix that. I had things to do today.
"I think we've covered enough, and I'm sure you and Damo want to be alone to enjoy your day off." I winked at Damo, and he grinned. "So, Crow and I will get out of your hair so we can see some of the fine sights of this city. It's stupid to be in Paris and sit around talking about nonsense."
I stood up, ready to leave. I thought Polly would have more to say, but she didn't try to stop me.
"Be careful," was all she said. "This city is notorious for pickpockets."
"Yeah, it's notorious for beheadings, too, but I'm not worried."
Wow, that had been so easy.
"So, we're official," I said to Crow after we left Polly's room. "We need to do something to commemorate."
He grinned. "Maybe."
"Maybe?"
But I left it at that. He didn't seem too overjoyed by the idea. Maybe it'd been a stupid thing to say. Something high school kids did, not adults. But I would love to have something to remember today by. I guessed things would be different dating a guy like Crow. He wasn't like the other guys I'd dated, that was for sure.
"Let's explore the city," I said. "We have so much to do, and the weather's so perfect. We can walk for miles and see everything."
"Didn't we do that in Amsterdam?" he said with a laugh.
"We'll do it in every city. Isn't it fun? Walking around a new city, exploring all those new sights, smelling all those new smells, eating all that new food."
"It's fun when it's with you," he said.
My heart jumped. It was fun with Crow too. We fit together so well.
We headed out, stopping to poke around in little vintage shops. I wanted Crow to try on a psychedelic shirt from the '70s, but he shook his head.
"Come on. It's so you," I said.
He laughed. "Does it come in black?"
Then I found a street market and bought a red beret. It worked perfectly with my outfit.
We explored old churches and little art galleries. We walked until my feet hurt.
"We have to see Notre Dame," I said. "It's the most important."
"What about the Louvre?" he asked.
"Nah, those big art galleries leave me a bit cold. Too many people. You can't even see the paintings. I'd rather go to small p
laces."
We got to the cathedral looming by the river. I wasn't really a tourist type of person, but when I went inside, it took my breath away.
"This place is amazing," I whispered. It seemed like the sort of place for whispering.
"What now?" I asked Crow after we left the church.
"Lunch."
Now that he mentioned it, I was pretty hungry myself. We wandered around until we found a cafe. It was all Frenchy, with checked tablecloths and whitewashed walls. The exact kind of place where you'd imagine eating lunch in Paris. As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to eat there. It was perfect.
Before we could enter, Crow grabbed my arm. "Can you speak French?" he asked. "How will we know what to order?"
Good question. I hadn't worried about that in any other city. We seemed to always find someone who spoke English, but this place didn't look like it catered to tourists.
"It's okay. We can work it out. Use Google Translate or something. What's the alternative? Get Mickey D's? I'm not eating a Big Mac in Paris."
"True."
We entered, and the waitress pointed to a table. That much was easy. I understood pointing.
Even though it was daylight, this place had a romantic feel to it. The waitress had put us in a little nook away from the main room, as though she'd known we wanted privacy. Not that there were many other people in the place, since it was late in the afternoon.
I picked up the menu. Yikes, it was all in French, but there were some words I recognized. Some I guessed at. The waitress walked over, tapping her pencil on her pad. She said a few things in French. I had no idea what they were, but she sure sounded cranky. But I wasn't used to French people. Maybe they sounded cranky no matter what they said.
We ordered soup and pointed to a few other things.
"What if they're weird things?" Crow asked.
I shrugged. "We don't eat them. It's not like it's the end of the world. If it's too disgusting, we can ditch this place and get a baguette and some cheese somewhere."
We didn't have to worry, though. All the food was great. My belly had stretched with all the food by the end of it.
"But I need crepes. I can't come to Paris and not have crepes. And macaroons. Oh, there are too many delicious foods."
Crow's eyes sparkled. "You have five more days. You don't have to eat the entire city out of food today."
I liked his logic. "Should we go?" I asked him.
"Just a minute."
He fumbled with something in his pocket. I had no idea what. I was too busy trying to figure out our check. And did we need to leave a tip? I wasn't sure on the system here. I should check online, or maybe it was easiest to leave a standard ten percent. I was going to ask Crow, but he didn't meet my gaze. Weird.
"Ah, Fay, I have something," he said.
"Umm?"
I still was only half paying attention. Then he handed a small box across the table. That got all of my attention.
"For me?" I asked.
He nodded.
My heart fluttered as I opened up the box. Crow didn't seem like a jewelry-buying kind of guy, so this gift was all the more precious.
It was some kind of pendant. At first, I couldn't work out what was on the silver chain, then I turned it toward the light.
"A firecracker!" I laughed.
"Yep." He didn't look at me.
"I love it. It's perfect. You acted so weird when I said we needed to get something to commemorate today, but you had this all along. That was sneaky."
He looked up and gave me a huge grin, his teeth gleaming through his beard.
I wanted to put it on right now. No, I wanted Crow to put it on me. That was the proper way to do things.
"You have to do it," I said, handing the box back to him.
He stood up and fastened the chain, his fingers grazing the sensitive skin on the back of my neck. Every touch sent shivers of anticipation down my spine.
When he'd finished, I put my hand up to touch it.
"Thank you so much," I said. "I'm going to wear it every day."
Wow, Paris really was the city of love.
Fay
AFTER OUR BREAK FOR lunch, we kept walking. I took thousands of photos. We ended up at another great place for dinner, then went to a little bar.
We'd had such a great time all day, but once we sat down to have a drink, Crow seemed nervous. For such a laid-back guy, that fidgeting was really strange.
We sat in the semi-darkness. A few small lights illuminated the room, but most of the light came from the flickering candle on our table.
"You're an amazing girl, Fay," he told me.
I smiled, but something about his tone made me think there was more behind his words than simply paying me a compliment. Did he want to break up?
But we'd just gotten everything sorted out. Things were so perfect. Surely, he wouldn't have given me the necklace if he wanted to break things off this quickly.
"Thanks," I said, not sure how to respond.
He had more to say, so I waited. There was no point rushing Crow, and if I kept talking, he might get distracted.
Maybe I should keep talking. Maybe I should distract him from what he wanted to say, because something told me it'd be no good.
His hand squeezed tight around his wine glass, so tight I worried he'd crush it and cut himself. Violin music played in the background, music so melancholy that it added to my bad feelings. The day had been so perfect that I wanted nothing to destroy it.
"What is it?" I asked.
He didn't look at me but stared at the wine in his glass. In this light, that wine looked almost black.
"I need to tell you something. I've been thinking about it all day. We need to start out honest with each other, and if you change your mind about me after I tell you this, then walk away. I'll understand."
I nodded.
I couldn't imagine anything Crow could tell me that would make me want to walk away. If he'd done bad things, they'd been justified. I knew him well enough to know that.
"Growing up, things were pretty tough," he said. He was still staring at that glass, swirling the wine in small circles.
I didn't talk. I'd give him as long as he needed. He wasn't the kind of guy to open up easily. Man, I wished they'd shut off those damn violins, though.
"My dad was a drunk. Mom died when we were kids, and there was just the three of us: Dad, me, and my little sister, Cindy. He started drinking when Mom died, maybe before that, even. I was too young to even really remember her. But he was a nasty drunk."
My stomach clenched. I knew there'd been shadows in Crow's past, but I hated to think of him being abused.
"He'd always been rough on me, but I could handle a beating. I hated him for it, and I vowed I'd get out of there one day, but I couldn't leave Cindy behind. I figured I'd put up with it, then, when she was old enough, the two of us would escape. I'd tell her stories about the little house we'd have. She wanted to have pretty things around, things that wouldn't get smashed up."
All I could do was nod. I wanted to reach out for him, put my arms around him, but the way we sat made that difficult. Crow seemed like he was a whole other world away, anyway. If I interrupted him now, even to give him comfort, he might crawl back inside that shell and never talk about this.
"When I was sixteen, he started getting worse. He'd always left Cindy alone before that, but she was growing up. He got this idea in his head that she was running around. He wanted to control her. She was a good kid, no different from any other girls her age, but when she started wearing makeup and dressing like a teenager, he told her she was a whore. A few times, he went over the edge. Screaming at her was bad enough, but when he raised his hand to her, I'd jump in."
He finally raised that wine glass to his lips and took a sip. Then he sighed.
"I wanted to kill him, Fay. I had nothing but hate in my heart for that man, and if I'd thought I could get away with it, I'd have cut his throat and thrown the body in the river."
He looked up at me then, and all the pain showed in his eyes.
If I could, I'd wipe away that pain. I wanted to take every bad thing in his life and replace it with good.
"Are you shocked?" he asked. "Maybe I shouldn't..."
"You wanted to protect your sister. That's not a bad thing," I told him.
"I thought about taking Cindy and running, but I had no way to support her. She'd have been taken away from me and put in a foster home, and I wasn't sure which would be worse. All I could do was protect her. Then, one day, I'd been at a friend's place. Cindy wasn't home, either. We both tried to stay out of that place as much as we could. It sure wasn't a home. I got back and thought the house was empty. I grabbed a Coke out of the fridge and was about to head to my room when I saw him. He'd fallen to the floor, all curled up in a ball. He struggled to call out to me, but the words were just a gurgle."
He stopped and took a swig of his wine. A big swig. Then he stared at something over my head.
"I've never told anyone this," he said. "Do you want me to go on?"
"If it helps." I reached out for his hand, hoping I could give him some strength.
"I knew I should've called an ambulance. He was dying, and he couldn't get up off the floor. I froze. That man had done so many terrible things, and I'd thought about killing him so many times. It seemed that fate had stepped in to do what I couldn't. I just kept thinking that if he got help, one day he'd destroy us. One day Cindy would get a boyfriend, and then he'd go mental. The terrible things he'd done were just a shadow of what was to come...."
His hand tightened around mine.
"I didn't help him, Fay. I left that house and didn't come home for hours." He gulped. The sound seemed to fill the room. "When I got back, he'd been dead for hours. I rang the ambulance then."
"You did what you had to," I said.
"I caused his death. I've tried to justify it. I've told myself that I could've stayed out for a few hours longer and I'd have never had to make that decision, but in the end, I could've saved him, and I didn't."
Crow looked up then. He looked me straight in the eyes. He wanted to read what I was thinking, searching my face for any sign of rejection.
Rock Mayhem: 8 Complete Rock Star Romance Novels Page 69
