Rock Mayhem: 8 Complete Rock Star Romance Novels

by Candy J. Starr

  She smiled. With those bandages removed, I could see the corner of her mouth curl. It became a real smile and not something hinted at by the movement of her face and the light in her eyes.

  "You have a way with words, Matty. That's why you write the love songs."

  It was my turn to look away. Why did she have to say that? I'd been trying not to think about that stupid mess.

  "What's wrong?" she asked.

  Damn. I'd hoped she wouldn't pick up on that. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

  I sat by her bed and reached for her hand. She pulled it away from me.

  "It's kind of awkward when that's my only good hand," she said. "I can't do anything if you're holding it."

  I nodded. Maybe I should've thought of that before. Of course she wouldn't want me holding her hand all the time.

  "Mom keeps asking if she can come in to see you," I said. "It's up to you. I don't want you to force yourself if you're not comfortable."

  "Why wouldn't I be comfortable?" she snapped. "I want to see your mom."

  She hadn't said that the last time I'd asked. She'd said she wanted a day or two, but I didn't press it. She was still taking medication, so it might've slipped her mind, and being in hospital this long would make anyone a bit cranky.

  "I'll tell her. Is tomorrow okay?"

  Fiona nodded.

  We sat in silence for a while, but the silence wasn't as comfortable as it had been. It was a silence of unspoken words and jumbled intentions.

  "Do you want me to brush your hair?" I asked.

  "Not now."

  I went back to the silence. Sometimes, when Fiona got into one of these moods, I wasn't sure if it was better to leave her alone or to stay with her. I felt like she wanted to test me, to see if she could push me away.

  "Oh," she said. "I just remembered. There's this doctor, Stacy. She wanted you to call her so you can discuss sex things with her."

  I arched a brow. "Sex things?" I assumed that Fiona didn't mean this doctor wanted to talk dirty to me.

  "Sex things like what we can and can't do. You should do that today, because it might be awkward to explain rushing off to discuss our sex life when your mother is here."

  "True."

  "Also, I need a phone. I don't have one."

  I nodded. I should've thought of that earlier. "I'll call Dad and see if he can get one for you while they're sightseeing. You do have the land line."

  "Huh?" Fiona looked around. "Where?"

  I pointed to the phone behind the vase of flowers on the table beside her.

  She rolled her eyes. "How was I supposed to see that there? It's not like I can get up and walk around. Really, Matty, you should think of these things."

  I stood up. "I'll go call the doctor," I said.

  I got outside the room and leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath. Fiona was right. I should've thought of that, but sometimes her moods could be hard to take. I'd make this call and then get some fresh air. I didn't want to return her snappiness with my own irritation, so it was better to walk it off.

  When I called Stacy, she said to come straight up and see her, so that worked out well. It'd give me a break. I popped my head back in Fiona's room and let her know.

  When I got to Dr. Stacy's office, she called me in.

  "Take a seat. This is a special day for me," she said. "It's not often I get to discuss the sex life of my teenage crush. I was such a huge StarX fan."

  I groaned. That didn't make me more comfortable. I took a seat and looked around. Some bobblehead figures from popular TV shows sat amongst the medical books on the shelves, making the room seem more personal. On the desk, she had those models of body parts that doctors always have, but when I looked closer, I saw that she'd put them in some strange positions.

  I glanced up at her. "You look like you'd be more into Savage," I said.

  "Nah, he's a total meathead. Oh, shit, sorry. I forgot you know him in real life and not just as a star. Of course, he might be totally different from his image. I'm just projecting."

  "That's okay," I told her. "Meathead sounds about right."

  I chuckled, and she grinned back. Then we got down to the nitty-gritty.

  "Fiona thinks she's all ready to go, but I'm afraid the reality might not meet up to her expectations."

  I leaned back in my seat. "Huh? What are you saying about my performance?" I asked her with a grin.

  She laughed. "Fiona doesn't have a lot to occupy her at the moment, so everything becomes exaggerated in her mind. At the moment, she's fixated on her sex life, which isn't a bad thing, but that could be mixed up with all kinds of feelings about her self-worth and attractiveness."

  "So, basically, you're saying I'm walking through a minefield."

  "You could put it like that. On the one hand, you don't want her to feel rejected, and on the other, you're going to have to be careful not to hurt her."

  She went on to explain various techniques I could use to ensure we did things without exacerbating Fiona's injuries.

  I interrupted her explanation. "Seriously, if we get to that point and I stop, she'll kill me."

  Stacey laughed. "Yep, that's entirely possible, but the main thing is to keep her satisfied without letting her lose too much control. You get the idea."

  I nodded.

  By the time I left Stacy's office, I felt way more confident. Not that I'd needed the sex education in general, just information on what I could do with Fiona right now. Being told to take care or to be gentle was way too vague, and Stacy certainly didn't do vague.

  I just hoped that by the time I got back to her room, Fiona's bad mood would have passed.

  Matty

  WHEN I CHECKED MY MESSAGES, I discovered that Dad had contacted me to say he'd gotten a phone for Fiona. That would make her happier. There was no message from Ash, so I took that as a good sign. No news was good news, I hoped.

  Fiona was asleep when I reached her room, so I waited for her to wake up. While I waited, I moved the phone so it wasn't behind the flowers and was within her reach. At least she'd have that until Dad came in tomorrow. Then I tidied up around the room. Some of the flowers had dropped petals around the place, and I changed the water. There wasn't much else for me to do, so I got out my phone and started watching a movie.

  When Fiona woke up, she smiled at me. I took my earphones out.

  "Watching anything interesting?" she asked.

  "Not really." I told her that she'd have a phone tomorrow.

  "Great. Thank your dad for me."

  "I think Mom has some things for you, too. If there's anything else you need, make a list. I'll make sure someone gets it for you. Magazines, food, whatever."

  "There's only one thing I want," she said.

  She had that look again. It was the middle of the day. Anyone could walk into her room. This place was crazy, with staff running around.

  "Can we lock the door?" I asked. Then I got up and checked. No lock. Just the curtain around her bed.

  "People can respect my privacy," she said. "Just because I'm a patient doesn't mean I have fewer rights than other people. It's rude how they barge into my room without even knocking."

  When she put it like that, it did seem strange.

  "So, show me what Stacy taught you," she said.

  I remembered what Stacy had said about this being a minefield, and with Fiona being particularly sensitive after having had her bandages removed today, I had no choice. Okay, maybe there was a big part of me that wanted this too. I was no saint. I just didn't want anyone walking in on us.

  "We need a 'Do Not Disturb' sign for that door," I said. "Remind me to get one from the hotel."

  Fiona laughed. I sat on the bed beside her. It was one thing to talk about this, but the logistics were a whole other thing. I started by stroking her face.

  "Does it feel horrible?" she asked.

  "It feels different. Not horrible."

  Then I kissed her. She strained toward me, but I put my hands on
her shoulders, holding her back.

  "Just relax. You can't move much."

  "Maybe you need to tie me up," she said.

  I looked at her left arm. "I'm not sure that's a good idea at the moment. But maybe when your arm's better."

  "I'll hold you to that."

  I kissed her again, trying to control myself as much as her. This would be a test for me, that was for sure. I took my lips from hers and traced along the line of her scar with my lips. She flinched, but that didn't stop me. Then I made my way to her earlobes, then down her neck.

  "You're teasing today," she whispered.

  "Oh, and I'm going to tease you more."

  "It's not nice to tease an invalid," she said.

  "I think you'll like this kind of teasing." I ran my finger along the line of her collarbone. "This is the definitely the fun type."

  She moaned as my finger moved lower. When her back arched, I held her firm.

  "Relax," I told her again.

  "That's easy for you to say."

  "It's not that easy, actually. It's totally not easy."

  I flipped down the strap on her camisole and kissed her shoulder. Already, her nipples hardened. That slinky fabric hid nothing. Maybe I should see about getting her some more frumpy sleepwear when she could leave her room. I wasn't sure the rest of the patients should see her like this.

  "You're amazingly tempting," I told her.

  "Don't hold back."

  "Oh, I'm going to hold back. Sorry, but that's the way it has to be."

  She moaned as my mouth moved to her breast. I kissed her lightly, but even those light kisses had her squirming, so I had to stop and pull myself away.

  "This will take forever if you keep doing that," she said.

  "Did you have any other plans for the day?" I asked.

  She giggled.

  "No squirming," I said. "No arching your back, no moving that arm. Except moving it so I can take this camisole off you."

  "I can do that," she said.

  "Good, because otherwise I'd have to rip it off."

  She lifted her arms over her head.

  "Does it hurt?"

  "No."

  I took hold of the delicate fabric and removed it. For a moment, I just looked at her, reveling in her amazingness.

  "Don't just look," she said.

  I put my lips to her nipple and sucked gently. I pressed myself closer to her, wanting to feel her skin against mine.

  She started to squirm, then stopped herself before I could pull away. Her breath caught, as I took her entire nipple into my mouth, and her fingers raked through my hair. Controlling myself became harder and harder, but I had to put my own urges on hold. If I couldn't do that, it'd be better to walk away entirely.

  She tugged harder on my hair.

  The taste of her had changed, maybe because she wasn't using the expensive toiletries she normally used. The smell of her had changed as well. I wanted to explore those changes.

  I ran my tongue down her belly. She jolted and tried to move away, but she tightened her hold on my head. I could smell her arousal. I wanted to touch her, but I kept up the slow pace. I couldn't ruin things now.

  Still, I put my hand under the blanket and ran it along her thigh. I wanted to ask her if anything hurt, but I didn't want to kill the mood.

  She wiggled down on the bed, and I took the blanket off her completely. She only had those skimpy little shorts on, and those shorts were soaking wet.

  Fiona's breathing became more labored. She wanted this so much. I knew that. I wanted it too. I wanted to make her forget everything but the pleasure of this moment, but I had to do that without letting her go too far.

  I moved my lips lower and lower, brushing them over the thin fabric. She gasped, and I pulled away.

  "No," she said.

  I'd moved to the danger zone now, in more ways than one. This was the point where I had to be fully aware of how she reacted.

  She raised her hips so I could take off the shorts. As I slipped them down over her thighs, I watched her face for any sign of pain. All I saw there was pleasure.

  Fiona

  MATTY INFURIATED ME. Teasing, taunting and infuriating. The way he kept pulling away from me when I wanted more, so much more, his mouth so close that his breath tickled my skin.

  I balled the bed sheets in my hands, knowing any movement from me would stop him. My body tensed, but I was in no pain except for the pain of unfulfilled lust.

  "Don't stop now," I whispered, my voice full of need.

  Matty smiled up at me from between my legs. His eyes shone with lust. He still desired me, and knowing that meant more than any physical sensation he aroused in me. I went all woozy and weak. As much as I loved having him between my legs, I also wanted him in my arms with his body close to mine.

  Then his tongue made contact, and all other thoughts flew from my head. Oh, God, that man really knew what he was doing.

  Every time I moved, he pulled his head away.

  Was that supposed to help? The need to come built up inside me like a damn tidal wave. Every cell in my body strained for relief. I shut my eyes and tried to control my breathing. I wouldn't react. I wouldn't give him a reason to stop. But, damn it, I needed this so much. Staying still proved almost impossible.

  As his tongue probed deeper, I cried out. I wanted to explain that he hadn't hurt me, but the words wouldn't form. They came out as groans.

  Luckily, he didn't stop. He teased his way up and down my slit, working magic with his tongue. I didn't need teasing, I needed release.

  When his tongue lapped at my clit, I almost jolted. My hands gripped the bed's edges, white-knuckled with tension.

  The pressure increased, still not enough to push me over the edge, but damn, it felt good. I became buoyant and alive. Floating on the pleasure, my breath ragged with sharp, sudden gasps.

  I wanted to reach for him, to thread my fingers through his hair just to touch him, but I couldn't let go. I'd fall without that solid contact.

  Then, suddenly, the wave crashed. I grasped the bed edge tighter and smothered my screams in the pillow. Tears flowed down my face, and their salty wetness stained my lips.

  I might not be much of a woman anymore, but I could still feel. I still had a man who desired me and wanted to give me pleasure. My body quivered with aftershocks.

  Matty moved to lie beside me and caressed me until I almost purred. "Was that okay?" he asked. "I mean, you didn't feel any pain anywhere?"

  I shook my head. I felt no pain. I felt nothing but a relaxed calmness.

  We lay on the bed together for a long time. I wasn't sure if it was comfortable for Matty, but I didn't want to say anything to make him move away. My tears kept falling, and Matty wiped them away. He didn't ask me why I cried which was good, because I wasn't sure myself. They weren't tears of sadness, and they weren't tears of joy.

  I decided they were tears of saying goodbye to the old Fiona, because I had to accept that. No matter what the future held, I'd have to face it as a different person. I could no longer rely on the things I'd taken for granted, and every day would be a struggle, but so long as I had Matty, I'd be fine.

  While we lay together, everything seemed right for the first time since the accident.

  "It must be dinnertime soon," Matty said, sitting up.

  "Shit. Nurse Lucy is coming in for a makeover. Put my clothes back on me!" I laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation.

  He got fresh pajamas out of the closet and helped me dress. Then he checked his phone and blanched. "I've got to go," he said.

  Huh? That was sudden.

  "What's wrong?" I asked him.

  "Nothing." He smiled, but that smile didn't seem one bit sincere. "You might not want me in the way for your makeover session, is all."

  Matty never lied to me, but at that moment, I knew he was full of it. It wasn't the makeover session, but something he'd read on his phone. Something he wanted to keep from me. The closeness between us had
been like a security blanket, keeping me safe from the world. But in an instant, that blanket fell away and left me with nothing.

  "Fine. Leave, if that's what you want."

  "I'll be back in an hour or so. I want to see the results of your work."

  Even though he said that, his gaze kept flicking back to the phone screen. If he wanted to leave, I wouldn't stop him.

  "Don't bother. I'll want to rest after that." I folded my arms and turned away, not watching him leave the room even though I wanted to scream for him to stay.

  Matty

  AS SOON AS I GOT BACK to my hotel room, I called Ash.

  "The guy's a nut, Matty," he said when he answered. "A total freak show. He doesn't want money, he wants the fame. The fame! Can you believe that? It's not like he wrote a rock classic. JFC! 'Candy-Colored Kitten'. We released some shitty songs, but that one was by far the shittiest."

  I paced. This wasn't the news I'd wanted. "What did he say?"

  "He wants his name known as the songwriter. He won't even talk money."

  I walked to the window and looked out. Nothing to see but the hospital. From here, I could see Fiona's room. I knew exactly which one it was. She'd be in the middle of her makeover by now. Even though she was angry when I left, I couldn't discuss this around her.

  "Surely, we can pay him off. Everyone has their price."

  I hated being the kind of person who'd say that, but I'd seen enough of life to know that most people would do anything if you paid them off. This wasn't the first time someone had thought they could come after us. An out-of-court settlement usually fixed things. Their sole motivation was cash, no matter what they said.

  "Not Nutty McNutjob. Trust me, I offered him enough money for him to live in pig heaven for the rest of his life. He'd want for nothing. But the guy knocked it back."

  I groaned. I didn't need this. I really didn't need it.

  "Surely, we have some grounds. He would've signed a release at the time."

  "Yep. The lawyers have all that, but without a settlement, it's going to be one hell of a court case, and we do not want to go to court. We can give him the rights and hope that slips by without notice. The court thing will not be quiet, no matter what. He wants the whole media circus. He wants his face on TV and his name known. Any other time, I'd say he could go for it. He has no idea what he's in for, and the media aren't going to treat him well. But Fiona--"