Driven to Distraction & Winging It

by Tina Wainscott

  “Believe me, this is much funnier than you think it is,” Mackenzie said and laughed again. “And if you’ll go get your taxi, I’ll tell you why it’s so funny on the way to the police station.”

  “Police station?” a shrill voice echoed from behind her and Mackenzie turned around to find her scowling mother coming down the church steps with Mackenzie’s shoe in her hand. “I demand to know what’s going on, Mackenzie, and I demand to know it now,” Barbara Malone said when she stopped on the step above Mackenzie.

  Mackenzie opened her mouth to speak, but never got the chance.

  “And who was that horrible creature who stormed into the church screaming your name? Why, the very idea of you running out of the church like that. Not to mention the fact that you practically dragged poor Angie out with you. Thank God, her father caught her when he did. Angie could have broken a leg or something. And wouldn’t that have been wonderful for her and John on their honeymoon?”

  “Mother….”

  “Of course, I’m sure everyone in the entire church is so bumfuzzled right now, I doubt anyone will even notice when the ceremony takes place. And poor little Angie. Why, I don’t know how the child has the fortitude to stand there in front of all those people long enough to exchange her vows. If Angie decides she never wants to speak to you again, I personally wouldn’t blame her. But right now I want you to put on your shoe and march back in there and apologize to your best friend and all of her guests who just watched you make a complete fool of yourself.”

  Knowing it was pointless to argue with the queen of verbal debate, Mackenzie sent an anxious glance at the battered green and white taxi waiting at the curb, then she reached out and quickly plucked her shoe from her angry mother’s hand. “I’ll apologize to Angie later, Mother,” Mackenzie said as she hurried down the steps. “But right now I’m going to the police station and post bail for that horrible creature who was screaming my name.”

  “Post bail?” Barbara called after her. “You’ll do no such thing, Mackenzie Malone. You get back here this very minute! Do you hear me?”

  Mackenzie hurried to the waiting taxi and slid into the back seat, and when she gave the signal Rafe wasted no time pulling away from the curb. “Mon, dat is one very mad lady, don’t ya know,” Rafe said, setting his beads in motion again as he shook his braided head.

  “Unfortunately, I do know, Rafe. She’s my mother,” Mackenzie said, then let out a long sigh and never looked back.

  ALEC SAT ON HIS SIDE OF the jail cell trying to ignore his new cell mate who stank of cheap whiskey and was trying to light an old cigarette butt with a badly shaking hand.

  “Man, you look like hell,” the old geezer had the nerve to say.

  “Yeah, you should see the other guy,” Alec mumbled back, knowing it was pointless trying to explain his current predicament.

  Besides, who would believe him?

  He had survived a plane crash that left him with a mild concussion, his arm broken in three places, sixteen stitches in the top of his head and a swollen black eye, only to find that the woman he loved intended to marry his old high school rival. He’d then escaped from the hospital in stolen scrubs so he could make a mad dash from one end of the country to the other in order to stop the wedding, only to find that the last portion of his flight had been canceled because of an airline strike. And then, he had hooked up with a Jamaican cabbie who thought he was a race car driver, got arrested by two cops who were having such a slow day they decided to torture him for amusement, and when he was only two steps away from grabbing the woman he loved and carrying her out of the church over the shoulder that wasn’t encompassed in a cast, he’d been dragged off to jail for disturbing the peace.

  The whole thing sounded like a poorly written plot for a bad movie. And that’s exactly how Alec felt at the moment. He felt like a helpless victim trapped in a horror flick with nothing left in his future but a long stint in prison for disturbing the peace. And maybe prison was exactly what he did deserve for being so stupid, Alec told himself as he lay on his bunk and stared at the concrete ceiling.

  Because he had been stupid.

  He had been stupid to declare his love for Mackenzie one minute, then skip town the next. Hell, he’d even been too stupid to call her during all these months and apologize. First for snooping behind her back. And second for leaving town instead of staying so they could work things out.

  Yes, he’d been stupid, stupid, stupid. He’d allowed his bruised ego to take control, and he’d run for cover like the coward that he was. And the fact that Mackenzie was now being spirited away for a sex-filled honeymoon only gave another sharp twist to the knife that was buried in the center of Alec’s stupid heart.

  “So? What are you in for, partner?” his cell mate asked when Alec let out an agonized sigh.

  “Stupidity,” Alec tossed back without thinking.

  “Your smart mouth got you in trouble, did it?” the old guy quizzed, but before Alec could answer, a uniformed officer appeared at the cell door.

  “Come on, Southerland. Someone’s made your bail.”

  Alec jerked himself to a sitting position, wincing slightly at his sudden movement. “My bail?” Alec asked in disbelief.

  But who could have posted his bail? He hadn’t even been allowed to make his one phone call yet. Not that Alec had been particularly eager to call Josh with news that his escapade had landed him in jail just like Josh predicted it would.

  “Big black guy with beads in his hair,” the officer provided to clear up the mystery.

  “Thank God for Rafe,” Alec said, then wasted no time being let out of his cage.

  MACKENZIE WAS STILL standing in the police captain’s office when she glanced through the glass partition and saw Alec enter the next room from behind the barred door. And Dear God, he did look awful. So horrible, in fact, Mackenzie was amazed that her mangled beloved was able to stand on his own two feet without any assistance.

  He was still pumping Rafe’s hand furiously when she strolled into the room, and for a moment Mackenzie feared Rafe really would have to help Alec keep standing.

  “Mackenzie?” he stuttered as if she were the one who was unrecognizable.

  “Hi, Alec,” she said casually as she propped herself against the doorjamb.

  “But…but what are you doing here?” came his next shocked question.

  Mackenzie put her finger thoughtfully to her cheek and shook her head as if she were thoroughly confused herself. “You know, it was the strangest thing. I was standing at the front of the church, watching my best friend walk down the aisle so she could marry the man of her dreams, and…”

  “Your best friend?” Alec interrupted, but Mackenzie ignored his question completely and continued her story.

  “And then this crazy person ran into the church. He started screaming my name when the police officer tried to remove him from the sanctuary.”

  “A crazy person, huh?” Alec wanted to know, and though Mackenzie thought Alec was smiling, she couldn’t be sure with the twisted way Alec’s lip was curved up in a snarl.

  “Oh, yes,” Mackenzie assured him. “I’m sure the poor man was crazy. And he looked absolutely dreadful. Like he’d been run over by a train or something.”

  “Maybe he’d been in a plane crash,” Alec volunteered, playing along with her little game now.

  “Hmm, I guess it could have been a plane crash,” Mackenzie agreed.

  “And maybe this crazy person thought you were the one who was walking down the aisle to marry the man of your dreams.”

  “Me?” Mackenzie gasped, feigning surprise. “But that’s impossible, Alec. You see, I’m madly in love with this guy who ran off to Oregon and left me behind.”

  Though Mackenzie had no idea Alec could move that fast in his current condition, he closed the distance between them in the blink of an eye.

  “Alec, be careful! Your arm,” Mackenzie protested when he pulled her soundly against him, but Alec ignored her warning and gave h
er a half-lipped kiss that was so passionate, Rafe and every other officer in their vicinity whistled on cue.

  “Say you’ll marry me,” Alec whispered when their lips broke apart.

  “Do you want kids?” Mackenzie was quick to ask.

  “At least a dozen,” Alec assured her.

  “Then I’ll marry you under one condition,” Mackenzie told him with a grin. “We have to elope. Right now. This very minute.”

  Alec frowned. “Before you change your mind?”

  “No, before Angie hires a hit man to kill both of us for ruining her perfect wedding.”

  Alec grabbed Mackenzie and kissed her again so forcefully, Rafe clapped his hands with glee. “Rafe loves dese happy beginnings,” he beamed, making both Alec and Mackenzie laugh.

  “I think you mean happy endings,” Alec said, but Rafe shook his head and said, “Oh, no, mon. For de two of you, it will be happy beginnings. Rafe, he is certain.”

  “Then how about giving us the name of a good wedding chapel in Jamaica?” Alec said, pulling Mackenzie close.

  “For you, my friend, Rafe will do much better,” Rafe declared, holding up the fist of bills Alec had just paid him. “Rafe will go with you himself to his homeland and be your own personal wedding guide.”

  “MACKENZIE? WHERE ON earth are you?” Barbara Malone demanded, prompting Mackenzie to hold the phone away from her ear until the voice on the other end of the line calmed down. “You ruin your best friend’s wedding, then you disappear. Then your father and I return to the bed-and-breakfast and find your house key with a note that only says ‘take care of your grandcat. I’ll call you later.’ Do you have any idea how worried your father and I have been about you? I swear, if I didn’t know better I’d think you were on drugs!”

  “I’m not on drugs, Mother, I’m in Jamaica.”

  “Jamaica?” Barbara yelled.

  “And I’m getting married. To that demented creature who stormed into the church screaming my name,” Mackenzie said, then placed the phone on the bedside table in her hotel room and busied herself slipping on the colorful pink and green island sarong she had chosen for her wedding dress.

  “Have you completely lost your mind? I thought I’d raised you better than that, Mackenzie. But obviously I haven’t. Why, the very idea that you would run off….”

  Mackenzie put the phone down again and pulled a comb through her dark hair, then tucked the gorgeous island orchid Alec had bought for her gently behind one ear.

  “You know I’ve always counted on giving you a huge wedding with all the trimmings and…”

  Down went the phone again, but after applying a touch of lipstick and assessing her appearance in the mirror one last time, Mackenzie snapped her compact shut and picked up the phone.

  “Listen, Mother,” Mackenzie said, interrupting Barbara’s noisy outburst. “I love you and Daddy to death, but Alec and I want a private ceremony.”

  “Well, you’d better hope it’s a private ceremony,” Barbara scoffed. “I doubt even you would have the guts to stand before a crowd of people with a groom who looks like he’s a candidate for a handicapped poster.”

  “Why, Mother,” Mackenzie said, pretending to be shocked. “I thought you’d be pleased.”

  “Pleased? Pleased about what?” Barbara demanded.

  “Pleased that the man I’m marrying today won’t be too handsome,” Mackenzie said and laughed.

  Barbara was still ranting and raving, but Mackenzie calmly placed the receiver back on the hook, knowing that her mother would eventually calm down. She always did. And especially when she found out later that Mackenzie and Alec had decided to throw a big reception when they returned from their honeymoon so that both sets of parents and the rest of their friends and family wouldn’t feel left out.

  Thankfully, Mackenzie didn’t even have to worry about a hit man possibly following them to Jamaica. Angie, who was never too far away from her cell phone, had been tracked down earlier in the day and Mackenzie had promised her everything short of her first born child if she would only forgive her for ruining her perfect wedding. Surprisingly, Angie had been so excited about Mackenzie and Alec eloping she had made Mackenzie promise she and Alec would join them in the Keys in a few weeks for some heavy-duty double-honeymooning partying.

  And so, with a wonderful new life with Alec stretching out before her and a smile on her face, the lovely bride left her hotel room and went in search of her patiently waiting groom.

  She found him a few minutes later, standing on the beach with Rafe and a white-collared minister who was one of Rafe’s distant cousins. Mackenzie smiled and waved as she padded barefoot across the sand in their direction.

  Alec waved back.

  He was barefoot himself and clad in a simple pair of khaki shorts and a brightly printed topical shirt that helped camouflage his bulky cast. His sunglasses and an old Panama hat Rafe had loaned him hid Alec’s swollen eye and his partly shaved head.

  I think he’s beautiful, Mackenzie decided with a grin, then took her place beside the man she would promise to love at least a century past forever.

  The backdrop for their ceremony was a spectacular tropical sunset while the gentle rush of the ocean, with its white-tipped waves foaming around their ankles served as the music. Even their guest list was limited. Only Rafe, the minister and a few graceful seagulls soaring above them in a ceremonial flight witnessed the joyous occasion.

  “Happy beginnings, my love,” Alec said as he took her hand in his. When the beauty and her beastly looking groom turned to face each other, their sacred vows were filled with the same miraculous love that had guided them together from the first moment they met.

  Much later that evening, long after they’d reached the thatch-roofed honeymoon hut Rafe had reserved for them on a secluded part of the island, Mackenzie’s satisfied sigh filtered through the thin bamboo shades covering their bedroom window and out into the peaceful tropical night air.

  “Oooh, Alec,” she said with a giggle. “It really is worth mentioning, after all.

  HARLEQUIN DUETS

  ISBN: 978-1-4603-7488-7

  Copyright in the collection:

  Copyright © 2002 by Harlequin Books S.A.

  The publisher acknowledges the copyright holders of the individual works as follows:

  DRIVEN TO DISTRACTION

  Copyright © 2002 by Tina Wainscott

  WINGING IT

  Copyright © 2002 by Candace Viers

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.

  All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.

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