Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? On the Side: Sword Oratoria, Vol. 6

by Fujino Omori, Kiyotaka Haimura

  She was watching Tiona silently, eyes staring out from beneath her sand-colored hair.

  “Bache…”

  First Tiona, then Tione went wide-eyed in wonder, unable to believe what they were seeing—when suddenly, a voice calling out from the galleon’s deck landed the final blow of surprise.

  “Now there’s two faces I haven’t seen in a long while.”

  “”

  The sound of the not quite young, not quite old voice brought time to a screeching halt.

  Their gazes moved upward to find an entire group of Amazonian soldiers staring down at them from the boat’s deck—along with a certain young goddess.

  Her skin was the same copper hue as her followers’, bloodred hair billowing in the lake breeze. While her short stature may have given her the appearance of a child, the necklace of fake bones around her neck, the fanged mask over her face, and the two eyes glinting behind it projected nothing if not pure authority. Next to her stood an Amazon with hair the same color as the woman still behind them on the fishing boat.

  As Aiz and the others watched the spectacle unfold from their spot on shore, Tione’s eyes flashed with a sudden fury. She screamed up at the group of women smiling down at them from above.

  “Kaliiiiiiiiiiiii!!”

  CHAPTER 3

  KINGDOM OF THE AMAZONS

  The enormous galleon pulled slowly into port.

  From its anchor shaped like two swords, to its warrior-esque statue adorning the ship’s bow, to the towering mast protruding from the ship’s hold like a mighty halberd, it was every bit the ship of a tribe of warrior women—and it garnered the attention to match it as the troupe alighted to the land below.

  Even the brawny fishermen littering the dock were immediately abuzz with excitement and confusion as the Amazonian women disembarked, led by their young, masked goddess.

  “Kali!!” Tione shouted, still clad in her blue swimsuit. With Tiona on her heels, she made a beeline toward the incoming ship that, by chance, had pulled halfway into the city port. The gathering crowd quickly moved aside at the menacing aura radiating off the two sisters.

  By the time Aiz and the others arrived, back in their normal attire, the air choking the wharf was liable to explode at a moment’s notice.

  “What are you doing here?!”

  “We haven’t seen each other in years and that’s the first thing you say to me?” the masked goddess, Kali, countered disenchantedly, indifferent to Tione’s rage.

  “Answer me!!”

  “A little sightseeing is all. Problem, Tione?” Kali posed before sending one of her girls to meet the highly flustered city official headed their way. Given they already had the proper port-entry permit, it did seem they’d made prior preparations for the trip.

  “That’s bullshit…!!”

  “No, it’s undeniable truth. Wanted a change in routine is all. A little stimulation, you know?” Kali’s lips curled upward coyly as the crease between Tione’s brows deepened. Behind her, Tiona kept quiet, unable to conceal her look of dubiety.

  Aiz, on the other hand, couldn’t seem to keep her eyes off two different women in the group—the two sandy-haired Amazonian warriors next to the goddess, so alike there was no way they weren’t sisters.

  —They’re strong.

  The battle-hardened intuition of the Sword Princess told her as much. Both women before her could easily stand shoulder to shoulder with the best of their first-tier adventurers.

  Level 5s maybe…? No, Level 6s?

  A thought that, if true, was a little terrifying.

  She was certain they belonged to a familia outside the city. And while Aiz herself didn’t know much about the world outside Orario and the Dungeon, she did know that leveling up outside the Labyrinth City was a difficult task. When taking that into account, these two sisters and the first-tier aura they were giving off seemed even more remarkable.

  Aiz couldn’t help but wonder just what kind of training they’d undergone that would give them the ability to take out a viola with such ease.

  And that one…she hasn’t taken her eyes off Tione this entire time.

  Her gaze flitted to the woman who’d killed the viola, her face expressionless beneath her semi-long hair. The vibe around her suggested she was even more taciturn than Aiz herself.

  The woman next to her, hair tied up in a ponytail that descended all the way to her waist, was currently eyeing the confrontation between Kali and Tione with a little smile.

  As though feeling the pair of eyes on her, she threw a glance in Aiz’s direction.

  Aiz’s muscles instinctively tensed at the almost reptilian way those two eyes bored through her.

  “Aaaanyway! It’s been a long time…” the tiny goddess continued, looking up at Tione and making a rather lewd gesture toward her chest as her eyes traveled downward to stare pointedly at Tione’s breasts. “…You’ve grown.”

  “And just where do you think you’re looking…?!”

  A husky murmur escaped Kali’s lips as her eyes flicked toward Tiona.

  “Meh…you haven’t changed at all,” she finished disinterestedly.

  “What’re you lookin’ at, huh?!” Tiona barked back. As the girl began stomping her feet in indignation, Aiz stepped forward like always to hold her arms behind her back.

  “I’ve heard of you guys before. Loki Familia, yes? Where’s your goddess?”

  “I’m right here.” Loki stepped out from the crowd of people, walking past Tiona and her tantrum to face Kali head-on. The scarlet-haired goddess’s gaze was surly, her lips curled upward in a grin that exuded impertinence. “I thought somethin’ was goin’ on…Heh. No biggie. As you can see, these two kiddos are mine now. You need somethin’, runt number two?”

  “Hmph. Our first time meeting and you’re already being a disobliging asshole. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have business with these two.”

  “Oh-ho-ho! Pickin’ a fight, are we? On our first date? Come at me, you vertically challenged piece of trash!!” One provocation leading to another, Loki erupted—a magnificent first impression if ever they’d seen one.

  “P-please calm down!”

  “You’re making a scene!!”

  Lefiya, Aki, and the others pleaded, moving forward to calm their raging goddess.

  Kali, on the other hand, completely ignored the entire spectacle, turning, instead, toward where Tione was still glaring daggers in her direction.

  “At any rate, we’re going to be here for a while. If you folks are doing the same, perhaps we’ll meet again.”

  “Don’t make me laugh…”

  “I’m sensing some animosity. Do you really hate me—and the rest of your tribe—so much?”

  “I never wanted to see you again…ever!” Tione practically spit, both at Kali and at the rest of the Amazons behind her.

  Kali’s eyes narrowed behind her mask.

  Then she turned on her heel, taking the rest of her troupe with her.

  “I couldn’t help but miss you, my beloved daughters,” she finished before she and her familia left the wharf behind them.

  “Daughters…?” Lefiya murmured curiously as she watched the departing group and Tione, who remained stock-still on the dock. Ever so hesitantly, she turned toward Loki, whose peers were still restraining her. “Do Misses Tione and Tiona…know that goddess?”

  “…Hnnnnggghh…Guess there’s no point hiding it…” Loki let out a disgruntled sigh, completely spent and breath ragged. Pulling away from her captors, she brought a hand to her head with a scratch. “That’s their old familia. Their very first one, too, from before they joined ours.”

  Lefiya, Aiz, and the others sucked in their breath.

  Tiona, however, simply gazed quietly at her sister’s back before turning her eyes toward the infuriatingly sunny sky above.

  “Kali Familia consists of the goddess of Telskyura and her followers.”

  Later that night.

  They were in the room they’d reserved at a local
inn—their home base for the length of their investigation—as Loki and Riveria explained the situation, everything about Tione and Tiona, and the deep connection they had with this Kali Familia.

  “Telskyura…that’s a peninsular country far to Orario’s southeast, right?” Aki confirmed.

  “It is,” Riveria continued. “A solitary island surrounded on all sides by sea and cliffs…known for belonging to no one but Amazons. I’m sure many of you have heard of it.”

  “S’just like with Ares and Rakia. A nation-state familia or whatever you wanna call it. I mean, not that I think that tiny tramp’s fit to rule or anything…” Loki added. “It’s pointless! That brat and I’ll never get along! The only one who grinds my gears more than that pip-squeak is that Jyaga Maru midget tramp…And what’s with that creepy mask, huh? Ugh! Pisses me off!!”

  Everyone withheld their comments as the goddess grumbled with increasing contempt before Riveria continued.

  “It would seem the only men allowed on the island are slaves or those used for breeding.”

  “From the little we learned about it in school, it seems to be a very savage country. Or, at least, that’s the impression I’ve always had…”

  After Lefiya added her thoughts, Riveria explained further.

  “You’d be correct. From what I’ve heard, a day there doesn’t go by without battle cries and cheering crowds filling the air, everyone devoting themselves to relentless combat. It is a nation of blood and war…the Holy Land of the Amazons. It’s one of the few world powers besides Orario, and they possess incredible capacity for war. And not only that, they’re completely isolated compared to other countries. Information about what goes on inside their borders is extremely limited…”

  It was here that Riveria stopped.

  Eyes traveling back and forth between Aiz and the other women seated on the sofa, she continued.

  “There are rumors that their two captains, the sisters Argana and Bache, have both reached Level Six.”

  There was a simultaneous gulp of dread from all those listening.

  First-tier adventurers were rare enough already, even in Orario, but for them to be the same level as Riveria and the other elites was something else entirely. It was so easy to forget about the world outside the walls of the great Labyrinth City, and this piece of news was enough to leave them speechless.

  “Riveria, how did they get that strong? Without the Dungeon…how were they able to level up?” Aiz asked, unable to wrap her thoughts around the perceived dilemma.

  The group of Amazonian warriors they’d come face-to-face with earlier that day immediately sprang to her mind. It wasn’t just the two sisters in question, either—all of them seemed strong enough to hold their own against a top-tier adventurer. How could they possibly have grown that strong without the boon of the Dungeon?

  Riveria was silent for a moment. Then…

  “Through the rites they perform every day in the arena…ruthless fights to the death, not only against the monsters they capture but even against their fellow warriors.”

  Once again, Aiz and the others found themselves at a loss for words.

  “Yeah, some explorer wrote about it in his chronicle or whatnot. About how he snuck into Telskyura and barely made it out with his life…and the constant killing that took place day and night in those rites,” Loki explained.

  “You mean the Curious Tales of Rastillo Furough?” asked Riveria.

  “That’s the one! There’s a copy in the manor’s archives!” Loki replied with a fervent nod, reciting it for them now as though flipping through the pages then and there. “‘I, too, shall emulate their hymns. An Amazon of the land is a true warrior’…I can still remember that line.”

  Silence settled over the room.

  Whether they’d heard of Telskyura before, like Lefiya, or were just learning about it for the first time, like Aiz, they were all at a loss for words. But not because they’d learned the truth about the island of Amazons.

  No, it was because they remembered that Tiona and Tione, too, had once been members of this Kali Familia, and the realization was enough to shake them to the core.

  Lefiya was the first to speak, voice straining from her parched throat. “Then…Misses Tiona and Tione both…?”

  “Born and raised in Telskyura. Least, that’s what they told me upon joining. So I can assume they went through the whole rigmarole, too…”

  It had been five years since the two sisters had converted to Loki Familia. Loki leaned on the back of the sofa, eyes traveling toward the ceiling as though she was reliving that very day in her mind.

  “We’ve killed so many of our brethren, and you still want us to join you?”

  That was what Tione had asked when Loki had approached them with her invitation.

  Riveria closed her eye in silent reflection. She’d been there, too, together with Finn and the rest of the elites.

  Lefiya and the others could barely contain their shock.

  There was no way they could have known that the eternally innocent Tiona and the lovestruck Tione constantly attempting to court the captain could have had such horrific pasts. Even hearing it now, they could barely believe their ears.

  While, certainly, none of them had ever asked about the two girls’ history, neither Tiona nor Tione had ever shown signs that something darker resided within them.

  I never knew…

  Not even Aiz had known.

  Back then, Aiz had been even less interested in matters aside from her training and had known only that they were getting some new members in the familia—nothing more. She didn’t start interacting with them until Tiona had approached her: Aiz, the inarticulate, flustered girl and Tiona, the ever-smiling, audacious Amazon.

  Aiz knew it was due to—or perhaps “thanks to” would be the more appropriate phrase—the two sisters that she’d grown into the person she was today (“mellowed out,” as Tsubaki had put it). With not a shred of ulterior motive between them, they’d both played a big role in Aiz’s life.

  “…”

  The conversation coming to a close, Aiz turned her gaze toward the open window.

  She could see Tione outside, standing on the wide balcony with her back to them.

  “C’moooon, Tione. Let’s go back inside!”

  With Tiona’s incessant pestering in her ear, Tione continued to stare out at the city beyond the balcony’s railing. The hotel they’d booked was a grand Southern-style inn right in the center of the city. And from the balcony on its fifth and highest floor, one could take in the entire port and its connecting bay in a single glance.

  The lights from the anchored boats flickered like will-o’-the-wisps across the dark waters of the lake, and toward the east, the gleam of a lighthouse cut through the darkness.

  “…Why did they come here?” Tione murmured through her fatigue, letting her eyes drop to the city below. It was a question aimed at a certain goddess and her followers, currently located somewhere within all that shadowy darkness.

  “I know how you feel, but thinkin’ ’bout it’s not gonna do us any good. Maybe they really did just come to sightsee,” Tiona posed, acting no different from usual despite her sister’s melancholy. As she leaned over on the railing into Tione’s line of sight, Tione looked at her long and hard.

  “Why are you acting like this is no big deal?! Kali, she—None of them would have any reason to go somewhere if there wasn’t fighting involved!”

  “…”

  “Do you even remember what they made us do? Do you?! If you do, then wipe that stupid grin off your face!!” Tione exploded.

  The outburst was enough to spark Tiona’s rage, as well. “What’re we supposed to do, then, huh? Tell me what it is we can do! Just put our heads down and charge right in? Are you even listening to yourself?”

  “That’s not what I’m saying, you idiot! Stop putting words in my mouth!”

  “Then stop putting words in mine!!”

  “Yeah, well, I couldn’t stan
d you acting all ‘la-di-da, nothing’s wrong’!”

  “Oh, couldn’t you?!”

  Aiz and the others in the room were listening in on them now, shocked into silence at the scene taking place on the balcony.

  Having had enough, Tione turned her back on her sister with an angry jerk. She marched past Aiz and the others already gathered at the window, past Loki with her arms folded behind her head, and past Riveria with her one eye closed to make her way out of the room.

  No one knew what to do for a moment. After throwing a glance at Tiona, shocked and silent on the balcony, Aiz raced out the door after Tione.

  “Miss Tiona…are you all right?” Lefiya asked as she and the other girls drew around her once Aiz had left.

  “Mmn…I’m fine…” Tiona nodded.

  “…We, um…heard that…that you and Miss Tione used to belong to the familia of that Lady Kali we met today…” Lefiya continued cautiously.

  “It’s true.” Tiona’s response came without hesitation. The elven mage—and the other girls around them—swallowed hard.

  “Then…erm…well—”

  “Sorry, I don’t really know if I should be talking for both of us if Tione isn’t here…” Tiona cut in before Lefiya could find the right words, her eyes dropping to the floor.

  Silence wrapped itself around the room until, after turning her gaze skyward, Tiona spoke again.

  “But…” she started, looking somewhere far off into the distance, “…I can say that we never wanted to see them again…ever.”

  “Tione.”

  There was a voice from behind her.

  Tione turned away as Aiz ran to catch up with her, the bluish shadow of the corridor tinting the world around her.

  “Isn’t this a sight, you chasing me? Usually it’s the other way around,” Tione muttered sarcastically, averting Aiz’s gaze.

  “Because…because you and Tiona were…always the ones who helped me…whenever I caused trouble for everyone else…” Aiz spoke bit by bit, coming to a halt. Tione could tell she was trying to speak her mind, and the usually taciturn girl was selecting her words with the utmost of care.