Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? On the Side: Sword Oratoria, Vol. 6

by Fujino Omori, Kiyotaka Haimura

  “Alternatively, I could have gone the Poseidon route and militarized my familia…The thought had crossed my mind. But my men would, no doubt, have had none of that. It would have been as impossible a task as Poseidon’s attempt to clear the ocean! Needless to say, I’d reached quite an impasse…until I learned of these monsters’ existence,” he concluded, throwing a glance at the violas in question.

  “When was that? And how was that, huh?” Loki prodded.

  “Seven years ago, perhaps? Or, no…six? One of them washed right down the sewers from Orario and landed in our lake.”

  While it had caused some damage, the beast had eventually been taken care of by a familia who’d just so happened to have been there on a trip. It was exactly when the viola had been about to attack another monster, actually—something Njörðr hadn’t failed to miss. Following the source of the creature, he’d made his way into Orario’s sewers to investigate the matter for himself. Quite opposite of the raider fish that made their way to Orario from the lake, these man-eating flowers were, in fact, making their way from Orario. Of course, this was before the mythril gate had been installed on the sewer’s drainage pipe.

  “It was there, prowling around as I was in the sewers without permission…that I met a human most strange.”

  “A human? What kinda human?”

  “Deathly pale, almost as though his very skin simply refused to absorb light from the sun. And with eyes hidden beneath long bangs…”

  If the strange gentleman hadn’t accosted him first, Njörðr likely wouldn’t have approached. But seeing as he had…

  “I ask for only a few things in return. Then, you may use these monsters any way you see fit, my lord.”

  With those words, a secret pact had been forged between them.

  And in return for releasing the violas into the lake and nearby ocean, Njörðr agreed to help the man smuggle his goods out of Meren.

  “…Then that’s why the Guild Branch Office and the Murdock estate had to get involved?”

  “Indeed.”

  Loki sighed as Njörðr let his shoulders droop.

  It would have been pretty difficult to smuggle anything out of Meren without the aforementioned entities’ help, after all. And given that Njörðr’s plan would lead to safer seas and a more sustainable crop of fish, Borg had agreed. The Guild Branch Office’s cooperation, meanwhile—or more specifically, Rubart’s—had come out of a monetary necessity.

  “In order to make the powder, we needed magic stones…and getting our hands on those, or shall we say, stealing them, required the help of the Guild Branch Office…”

  Rubart controlled the flow of magic stones from the main headquarters.

  Borg processed the powder in the basement of his estate.

  And Njörðr had simply feigned innocence, continuing to fish in the lake and ocean as the violas effectively culled the overwhelming monster population.

  As much as possible, the three conspirators attempted to disguise their involvement.

  Meanwhile, Borg made sure that every incoming and outgoing ship received a batch of the powder to ensure their safety in the waters. It was a process that had been going on for years.

  “And what about those folks who don’t have the powder, huh? They’d still get attacked by the violas,” Loki pointed out. “Did you take them into account as part of your little plan?”

  “Compared to the numbers I was losing to the myriad monsters out at sea…it seemed a small price to pay,” Njörðr responded with a short laugh, to which Loki just sighed.

  Fishing, the sea, and all those of the lower world involved in the two—Njörðr simply loved them too much. As charitable as he was, he’d even lent his aid readily to Loki and her followers in their own investigation.

  “You really are an idiot…” Loki muttered.

  Rod, too, could do nothing but silently hang his head.

  “One more thing I wanna make clear,” Loki started again. “In any of your dealin’s, did you ever come in contact with any of those Evils remnants? Or those human-monster creature hybrids?”

  “I’m not sure I know what either of those are, so…I would assume no?”

  Then the true enemy they’d been tracking had nothing to do with the goings-on in the port. Loki felt a sense of futility wash over her, but she continued all the same.

  “But somebody had to have hauled all these violas here, right? From Orario? Then you did the duty of tossin’ ’em in the lake? Who’s your delivery boy?”

  “That’s, erm…well…”

  “Spit it out, Njörðr.”

  “…Ishtar Familia,” he finally admitted sheepishly. “They acted as a sort of…contact for us. Or perhaps intermediary would be a better word. With our mutual friend in the sewers. At any rate, they’ve done a lot for us, always coming to our aid when we needed it. Apparently they use some sort of agency to get in and out of the city without being seen, and they always take care of any flowers who’ve grown too big for their britches…”

  “Then they’re also the ones who set loose those violas in the port, I assume…” Loki mused.

  “…I would imagine.”

  Seeing the unbelievable sight of the violas at the pier had been the reason Njörðr had come down there in the first place. Hearing that Ishtar Familia was the one responsible got the cogs of Loki’s brain turning, and she mulled the familia’s name around in her mind.

  Seeing as she’d about exhausted her supply of information from Njörðr, she said, “I won’t tell anyone about what you’ve done here, all right?” and turned toward the other god. “After all, peace has returned to the city. But…I’m gonna have to tell the Guild about the violas. And you’re not gonna be able to use ’em anymore.”

  “All right…”

  “Also, I’m gonna work you like a damn packhorse after this for all the trouble you put me through, y’hear? I got plenty more things I’m gonna wanna ask you.”

  Njörðr’s head fell with a dispirited slump. “…Right.”

  Loki took a moment to survey the perimeter. “That miserable midget—erm, Kali’s probably usin’ these tunnels as her own personal fort, isn’t she?”

  “I believe so. She and Ishtar have…some sort of agreement.”

  “Then that means Lefiya and Tiona are here somewhere, too.” Loki nodded with a hum before turning around to face her followers. “Rakuta. Elfie. Let everyone else know that Lefiya and the others are here, would ya?”

  “Everyone, Miss Loki…?”

  “You, Miss Aiz, and…Lady Riveria…?”

  Loki just grinned.

  “I mean everyone.”

  A short while before Njörðr was making his confession…

  Aiz and company were still continuing to defend themselves against Ishtar Familia’s assault. The lights of Meren or, perhaps more accurately, the lights of Meren’s pier, had all been snuffed out. With the violas repelled, the last thing the citizens of Meren had expected was to find themselves with yet another violent battle on their hands in the middle of the wharf—a two-familia duel, no less—and the chaos and confusion had reached an all-time high.

  “Why the hell isn’t the signal going off?! What’s the Guild doing—sitting on their asses?!”

  “How should I know? Everyone down at the Branch Office is in a right tizzy, too. Seems somethin’s gone missing—not sure if it’s the signal or the branch manager himself!”

  The voices of the two men came from near the port city’s token short walls. Standing atop the watchtower, they stared morosely off into the distance at the motionless gate of Orario’s grand bulwark, the signal that should have been emanating from the Guild Branch Office nowhere to be found.

  “Goddammit! At this rate, we’re better off gettin’ the hell outta this pl—”

  The animal man’s rant stopped short, and the telescope he was currently gazing through fixed on a spot on Orario’s walls.

  “Oh…”

  “What is it? You see somethin’? Don’t tell
me it’s somethin’ else!!” The human man next to him grabbed the telescope out of his hands before peering through it himself.

  And then. “Oh…” he replied simply, frozen to the spot the same as his partner.

  The telescope was directed toward the highest point on Orario’s mighty walls.

  At a certain item fluttering just in front of the parapets.

  “The…Trickster emblem…?” the first man murmured in wonderment.

  And, indeed, the flag of Orario’s strongest familia was currently whipping in the breeze atop the city’s walls.

  “Like hell we’re gonna let the girls have all the fun…” spat a certain young werewolf, standing atop the wall bordering Orario’s southwestern district. “Come on, you ingrates! You gonna let those girls walk all over us? Let’s do this!”

  “Hoo-rah!!”

  As Bete glanced behind him, eyes glinting, the gaggle of men to his rear let out a simultaneous cry of fortitude. They thrust their weapons in the air with a zeal that bordered on manic. Meanwhile, next to them, Aki brought her hands up to cover the catlike ears on top of her head.

  Every one of them atop that wall had their sights set on Meren’s trade pier, currently devoid of light in the distance. Even from Orario, they could see the relentless flashes of light staining the darkness like firecrackers—evidence of the sword duel currently under way.

  “Ha-ha-ha, Bete certainly knows how to rile up a crowd,” Finn mused with a smile.

  “Aye, but they’re already fit to be tied, the whole lot of ’em…What’s gone and crawled up their arses, ’ey, Raul?” Gareth turned his attention to the young man next to him.

  “Well, that’s, erm…We ran into a certain, uh…Little Rookie at the Flaming Wasp earlier…” Raul responded, clad in armor from head to toe and sporting his own weapon.

  “Aki! That’s the Kali Familia in question over there, is it not?” Finn called out to the young catgirl.

  Still flustered by the testosterone pressing down around her on all sides, Aki attempted to focus. “I-it is, sir! Which means Tione and Tiona must be there, too…” She’d come rushing to Finn’s and the others’ sides not too long ago with the news from Loki’s messenger—three pieces of news, in fact.

  One, a brief summary of what Kali Familia had done.

  Two, instructions to ready Aiz’s and the others’ weapons.

  And three, an order to rally the troops and launch an attack on Meren.

  “Is everyone here?”

  “This should be everyone, yeah!”

  After Aki’s report, Finn had ordered their flag to be erected atop the city walls posthaste as a symbol for the rest of the familia to assemble. Now, they stood there complete, with the comical grin of the Trickster gazing down at them.

  “Seems we’re drawin’ a bit of a crowd. Ye think it’ll be a problem, Finn?” Gareth pointed out.

  “Ganesha Familia, at least, hasn’t shown any signs of movement. We should be fine. You’ve delivered the magic letter to the Guild as I instructed, right, Aki?”

  “Sure did…” Aki replied with a tired sigh.

  Indeed, the Trickster flag had garnered the attention of more than just Loki Familia. Even now, far down on the ground below, gods and civilians alike were beginning to gather, all of them pointing up at the Loki Familia assemblage as they whispered, “What’s going on?”

  The magic letter, on the other hand, was a memo written by Loki for Ouranos—it explained the current situation in Meren, the underhanded dealings of the Guild Branch Office, and more than a few threatening complaints regarding the entire affair. Aki had expedited the letter just as her goddess had asked, which explained her current fatigue.

  “What of Aiz and the others’ weapons?”

  “Primed and ready. Thanks to the servicin’ Tsubaki gave ’em during the expedition, it didn’t take much to get ’em ready for the next fight,” Gareth assured him.

  “I’ve got Aiz’s sword,” Bete added.

  “W-wait a second! Does this mean I have to carry Misses Tione’s and Tiona’s weapons all by myself?!” Raul this time. And it was true, the weapons had already been passed out, with Aiz’s Desperate going to Bete, Riveria’s staff going to Finn, and Tiona’s giant oversized Urga falling directly into Raul’s unlucky hands.

  But no one paid him any mind, Finn turning around to address the rest of the group now that their preparations were complete.

  “All right then, everyone! Our mission this time is to meet up with a certain pair of rambunctious sisters. While this may not seem like much…I assure you we’re going to have our hands plenty full.”

  “You’re tellin’ us!”

  “I just hope Miss Tione doesn’t let me have it too hard!”

  As Finn shrugged, the rest of the men half joked, half yelped in fear.

  But even as they jested, ferocious grins of anger toward the ones threatening their companions proliferated throughout the entire group.

  “These are direct orders from Loki. We’re to find the two of them…and bring the hammer down.”

  The eyebrows of everyone present lifted in surprise.

  Then Finn’s smile vanished. In four words, he spurred them into action.

  “Troops! Let’s move out!”

  The reaction was immediate as they all leaped off the side of the towering walls in one fell swoop. Bracing themselves for landing, they made sure their eyes never left their target—the city of Meren, veiled in darkness in front of them.

  Loki Familia’s ridiculously powerful reinforcements were on their way.

  CHAPTER 6

  WAR’S END

  “D-damn elven wench…!”

  Moonlight trickled in through the window of the dim storehouse to reveal a certain branch manager tied quite securely to one of the pillars with a length of rope.

  Riveria’s handiwork, obviously.

  “Someone from the Guild will be along sooner or later. You’ll be able to confess to your crimes then.”

  —She’d left him with this before vacating the premises not long ago. Calmly accosting him in his desperate attempt to hide the mountain of transmissions and documents that evidenced his embezzlement—not only remunerations from Njörðr but evidence as to his own personal smuggling efforts, as well—she’d opted to simply leave the whole pile for whomever happened upon the unlucky man first.

  For a man living in fear of a soon-to-come investigation from Guild Headquarters, things had taken an all-too-real turn for the worst.

  “If I could…just…get free of these…confounded ropes…!!” he huffed, the long-faced man wriggling his body to and fro as blood pounded through his eyes. The secret knot-tying tricks of the forest high elves were not something an ordinary person could easily extricate themselves of no matter how much they struggled. And as he pulled and tugged at his bonds, face as red as a ripened tomato, he was just beginning to realize this all too fully, when suddenly.

  “Rubart Ryan! So you were up to no good, you wretched man!”

  “…?! Wh-who’s there?!”

  The voice was unfamiliar, reverberating around him in the dim space of the storehouse.

  Jerking his head first left, then right, he searched nearby, but there was no one to be found.

  The only company he had was that same disquieting shadow wrapped all around him.

  “So ambitious and so accomplished, too. Even Ouranos had agreed that you might be able to turn things around for the Branch Office…and yet here you are. Oh, how the mighty fall.”

  “I—I command you to show yourself!” Rubart shouted into the darkness, his body trembling at the strangely ethereal voice that was neither male nor female.

  Then.

  “Though some of your actions may be pardonable considering your oh-so-laudable cause of restoring peace to the oceans—”

  A cloak of blackest night cut through the darkness, revealing a shadowy figure in front of him.

  “A gh-gh-gh-gh-gh-ghost?!” Rubart screamed, half-crazed by th
is point as he remembered all too vividly the long-running rumors of the spirit haunting the Branch Office.

  “—that doesn’t condone the fact that you took advantage of your position to line your own pockets. Disciplinary measures must be taken, Rubart.”

  No sooner had the words left the cloaked figure’s mouth than a glowing green particle of light worked its way from one of its darkened sleeves. Rubart’s face went white, the green light filling his mouth and lungs and rendering him unconscious almost instantly with his eyes still open in fright.

  “To think I had to come all the way out here for this…” A grumble came from under the dark hood. With Rubart now sleeping soundly, the “ghost,” Fels, looked down at the man with a good-natured slump of the shoulders. The Magus and right-hand man to the god of the Guild, Ouranos, let out a sigh.

  “And here I thought Loki worked her men hard. But who am I to talk?” Fels added before looking up toward the window overhead—and the sudden sound of commotion coming from outside the storehouse. “Dear, dear. I should be making haste…It would seem they’ve already arrived.”

  Indeed, the cacophony of voices was already transforming into the battle song of a forward advance.

  “Wh-what was that?”

  Back in Meren’s trade pier district…

  As Aiz and the rest of Loki Familia squared off against Phryne and her assailants, the ears of the Amazons on guard perked up at the sounds behind them. They’d been stationed there to ensure no civilians made their way out onto the wharf, but the timbre of the earlier city commotion had taken a sudden shift. In fact, the sounds of fear and confusion as people fled had given way to…excited shouts, almost as though they were welcoming someone.

  They turned their gazes to the rear, peering suspiciously through the blue shadow of nightfall—only to come face-to-face with an entire army charging straight in their direction.

  “What the hell?!”

  “L-Loki Familia?!”

  The Trickster flag waved on high as the troops barreled their way into Meren. Making a beeline toward the pier, the men of Loki Familia stopped for nothing, stampeding straight through the city.