Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

Two reckless but lovable all-American bros make a strong case for maturing slowly through their outrageous yet enlightening misadventures across this great country of ours.My brother and I are looking for wedding dates for our cousin’s wedding. We’ve been told by the bride that bringing dates is “mandatory” so we “won’t harass all of my friends all night” and “stay under control.” Rather than ask some fringe women in our lives to go and face the inevitable ‘does this mean he wants to take it to the next level?!’ questions, we’d rather bring complete strangers and just figure it out… We’re both in our 20s, single, dashingly tall, Anglo-Saxon, respectfully athletic, love to party, completely house trained…love our mother, have seen Love Actually several times…raw, emotional, sensitive, but still bad boys.…You should be attractive or our...