Monster

by Holly C. Webb

  “Thank you, Sir,” Jaxson replied, giving him a grateful smile. “But I have some things I need to do. Maybe you could save me some for later.”

  “Certainly,” my mother replied, giving him a broad smile.

  Jaxson returned her smile as he allowed his eyes to meet mine briefly, but he quickly looked away.

  I glanced back at Jacob, and I was surprised to see that he was staring at Jaxson too. Something in the way he was watching Jaxson unsettled me, and I wondered if maybe he could sense the tension between him and me.

  “Let’s get you inside,” my mother said, pulling my attention back to her before we all turned and continued into the house.

  Soon we were all gathered around the table, tucking into my favourite food in the whole world. But as I looked down at the plate, I knew I couldn’t eat it. I just didn’t feel hungry, and I still had the overwhelming desire to cry.

  “Aren’t you hungry, Darling,” Jacob asked, reaching out and softly touching my hand.

  “Not really,” I replied, giving him a smile. “I think I am still a little delicate because of the crash. Also, my head still hurts a little, and it’s making me feel a little queasy.”

  “Maybe you should go and lie down,” Jacob suggested, and instantly I felt relieved.

  “Would that be okay?” I asked, not wanting to seem too eager to get away from everyone, and finally, have a few moments to myself.

  “Of course, Darling,” he said as he stood up and helped me up from my seat. “Would you like me to help you up to our room?”

  “That’s okay,” I said quickly, not wanting him to fuss about me anymore. “I’ll be okay, myself. You finish your lunch.”

  Then I turned to my mother and father and gave them both a warm, genuine smile.

  “Thank you so much for lunch,” I said as I walked to Mom and kissed her on the cheek. “I’m sorry I didn’t eat it.”

  “You’ve nothing to be sorry for, Sweetheart,” Mom assured me. “I can save your risotto for later if you’d like me to.”

  “I’d loved that,” I replied, before I kissed my father on the cheek, then excused myself before I hurried up to my room.

  I had just reached the top of the stairs when I heard the front door opening once more. Instinctively, I turned and saw Jaxson standing just inside the door. The moment he saw me, he stopped, his face completely unreadable. I stared at him for a moment longer, before I turned and continued to my bedroom.

  Once I was safely behind the door, I couldn’t hold back the sob that escaped from deep inside me. I quickly hurried to my bed, throwing myself upon it, before I buried my face in the pillow and let go of the tears, I’d been holding back for the last twenty-four hours until finally, I fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.

  “I was thinking,” Jacob said as we sat at the dinner table, eating dinner almost a week later. “Thanksgiving is in a few days. We should have a big dinner here at the house to celebrate. It would be the perfect opportunity for us to announce I’m running to my friends and family before we have a big launch night event.”

  “But you promised my parents that we’d go to New Jersey for Thanksgiving?” I sighed as I set my knife and fork down.

  “Oh, I know,” he said, waving his hand dismissively in the air. “But I’m sure they will understand. They can come back up here for the weekend, I’m sure. Besides, my parents will be home by then, and I’m sure they’ll want to see you. You know they were worried about you too after the crash. They’ll want to stop by to make sure you’re taking better care of yourself.”

  I stared at him for a moment, silently counting to ten in my head, refusing to lose my temper tonight.

  For the first few days after the accident, I couldn’t believe the difference in Jacob. He was so thoughtful and caring that I almost felt guilty for how I had been so unhappy lately.

  But little by little, the old Jacob had returned, and once more, I was alone and isolated, and this time it felt so much harder.

  The fact that Jaxson had barely said two words to me since the crash had just managed to make everything so much worse. I didn’t know what I’d done to make him so mad at me, but clearly, he was.

  I was looking forward to going back to New Jersey for the holidays, but now Jacob had managed to ruin that too.

  “I don’t really want to have a big dinner for Thanksgiving,” I said, deciding I was not going to let him push me into something I didn’t want to do. “I want to go home.”

  “This is your home, Ally,” Jacob quickly corrected me, his tone more than a little sharp. “And it’s not like you’ll have to do all the cooking. Lynn said she would be back in time for Thanksgiving, so there is nothing for you to worry about.”

  “But…” I began to argue, but he quickly gave me a look that said the conversation was over.

  I returned to my food once more, but suddenly I no longer felt hungry.

  “I think I’ll clear up and call it a night early,” I said, pushing up from the table.

  “If that’s what you want,” Jacob said as he too pushed away his plate before he stood up. “I have some calls to make. I need to get definite numbers for dinner.”

  I stared at him for a moment, but I didn’t say anything; instead, I picked up both our plates and took them to the kitchen sink, where I scraped our plates into the garbage disposal.

  “I assume you will check with your parents to see if they can make it?” Jacob said from the doorway of the kitchen.

  “I’ll call them later,” I confirmed, without even turning to look at him.

  “Good girl,” he said in his usual condescending tone, before he vanished out of the kitchen, leaving me alone once more.

  “Fuck!” I hissed under my breath, detesting how he made me feel when he called me that. “FUCK!”

  I slammed the plate down on the counter, accidentally smashing it.

  “Shit,” I sighed as I carefully picked up the pieces, dropping them into the trash.

  Once that was done, I quickly cleared away the rest of the dishes. Leaving the kitchen as I had found it, because I knew Lynn was due back, and she wouldn’t be happy that her space had been invaded by the last person she would want in there.

  When I was finished cleaning the kitchen, I switched off the light and stepped out into the hallway. I considered heading to the living room, maybe to read for a short while, but I decided that I just wanted to climb into bed and escape into the freedom sleep offered.

  I had just reached the bottom of the stairs when I heard my name echo down the hallway from Jacob’s office.

  I closed my eyes and released a long, tired breath before I turned and walked slowly down the hallway towards the office.

  When I reached the door, Jacob was sitting behind his desk, watching the door, waiting for me expectantly.

  “Did you need something?” I asked, barely stepping into the room.

  “I just wanted to make sure that you were okay,” he replied, standing up from his seat before walking around to the front of the desk. “I don’t like it when you’re upset with me.”

  Upset! I thought to myself, miserably. You have no fucking clue.

  But instead of saying how I felt, I smiled.

  “I’m not upset,” I insisted, refusing to let him see just how I was really feeling.

  “You know you’re a hopeless liar, Ally,” he smirked as he walked towards me, taking hold of my hands when he reached me. “I do hate to see you so sad. What can I do to make this okay?”

  I stared at him for a moment, knowing it didn’t matter what I said, Jacob would still do things as he wanted to. So, I just smiled and kept my mouth shut.

  “You know I love you,” he purred as he snaked his arm around me, pulling me close to him. Bending down, he began to kiss me along my jawline softly. “I’ve missed you so much, Baby.”

  He continued to kiss me, and as he pulled me closer to him, I could feel his arousal pressed against me.

  “Jacob,” I said cautiously, knowing tha
t if I pushed him away, he wouldn’t take it well. “I really don’t feel very well; my head hurts.”

  “I have something that will help your headache,” Jacob growled against my neck as he took my hand and placed it against his hard cock.

  “Jacob, please,” I sighed, but I knew there was nothing I could say to change his mind.

  He suddenly slammed his mouth against mine, and I knew that this was happening.

  Jacob wrapped his arms around me tightly as he picked me up from the floor and carried me to his desk, his mouth still consuming mine. I pulled my mouth from his as he put me down, gasping for breath.

  “You are fucking beautiful, Alexandra,” he growled as he stared down into my eyes, reaching for the belt on his trousers. “Do you know how crazy you drive me. How jealous I get when I think someone else wants what’s mine?”

  I held my breath. Did he know about Jaxson and me? Was that what he was trying to tell me?

  “You belong to me, Ally,” He said, looking into my eyes. “Tell me I’m not losing you.”

  “You’re not losing me,” I replied, half-heartedly but deep down, I knew it was a lie, but I knew I couldn’t tell him the truth.

  He claimed my mouth once more, and this time it was almost like he was showing me that I was his. There was nothing gentle or tender about his kiss. It was deep, hard, and almost angry.

  “Jacob,” I cried as I pulled my mouth from his.

  “I need you, Ally,” he almost begged. “I need us.”

  “Okay,” I conceded, knowing that there was nothing else I could say.

  He stared at me for a moment, but then he grabbed hold of my hips and turned me around before pushing me face first down on the desk.

  “I fucking love you, Ally,” he growled as he hitched up my skirt, before pulling at my panties, pulling them so hard, I could hear them rip. I knew then that this wasn’t love. This was about ownership, and he was reminding me that I belonged to him.

  I placed my hands down on the desk and closed my eyes, and he pushed into me with one thrust. Next, he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer, before he thrust into me once more.

  “YES! ALLY, YES!” He cried loudly in a way; I never heard him before. “YOU’RE FUCKING AMAZING!”

  I tried to keep a lid on my emotions, but it was no use. As Jacob continued, I silently cried, knowing this was not the life I wanted. I deserved more.

  “FUCK, YES!” Jacob groaned as he came hard before he collapsed back on the chair that was behind him, leaving me standing there against the desk, feeling used and mortified.

  “That was…. Wow,” He gasped as I stood up and pulled down my skirt before I stepped out of my ripped panties. “I think that was what we both needed.”

  I bent down and scooped up my ripped underwear, trying my best to avoid eye contact with Jacob. Not that it was hard to do as Jacob was already fastening his belt as he made his way back to his seat.

  “I think I’m going to call it a night,” I said as I slowly walked towards the door.

  “I still have some work to do here, Darling,” Jacob replied, absentmindedly as he was already leafing through his paperwork.

  I quietly stepped out of the office, feeling almost ashamed of myself as I closed the door behind me.

  I closed my eyes and leaned back against the door, having no idea how my life had become this nightmare, but it had.

  Suddenly a noise from the far side of the hallway made me open my eyes, and instantly my eyes met Jaxson. He was standing by the bottom of the stairs, staring at me, and I knew right at that moment, he’d heard everything.

  I also realised that it was exactly what Jacob had wanted. He knew.

  Chapter 17

  Jaxson

  I just stood there and stared at her. My heart was hammering, and I felt sick to the pit of my stomach. Why the fuck had I just stood there…listening.

  I’d been out checking the grounds, making sure everything was secure and locked up properly, something I’d been doing a lot of the last few days. I found it easier to keep busy, to stay out of the house since Ally came home.

  I knew I was being ridiculous; more than that, I was a coward. But the truth was, I just couldn’t face her. I couldn’t face the fact I’d let her down. I got too close to her, and I took my focus off the job I was supposed to be doing. I let her down, and that scumbag got too close to her. And if that wasn’t enough, I acted like an asshole and upset her, and because of that, she nearly died.

  When I saw her driving away that night, I knew I had messed up, but still, I knew I had to follow her. I had almost caught up with her when I saw the other car drive through the lights and smashed into the side of her car.

  I slammed on my breaks and held my breath until I got to Ally’s car. For the briefest moment, I thought she was dead, and I felt like I was going to be sick. But then she groaned, and I promised God there and then that if he got her through this, I would never cross the line again. I would do the job I was being paid to do, and nothing more.

  So that’s what I did.

  Or tried to do.

  But it was beyond hard to see her every day, seeing the sadness in her eyes and knowing that there was nothing I could do about it. The truth was, I was not the knight in shining armour she needed. I was too broken and fucked up to save anyone. I was not her happily ever after.

  When Jacob arrived at the hospital twelve hours after I’d called him, he played the part of the devastated husband, and it took everything I had inside me not to beat the ever-living shit out of him right there in the hospital. He freaked out, of course, demanding to know why she was in the car alone; why I had not done the job he was paying me to do?

  If I was honest, I assumed he would have fired me on the spot, and on some level, I almost wished he had. But he didn’t, and I knew it was because Ally had threatened to leave him if he did.

  So, I returned to the job I was being paid to do and focused on ensuring she was safe from the monster who was following her. There was just nothing I could do about the monster sharing her bed.

  When I stepped through the door, a few minutes earlier, I could hear him talking, and I quickly realised that his office door was open. I needed to talk to him about installing some more security cameras, so I walked towards the office, but when I heard Ally’s voice, I stopped dead.

  I knew it was stupid, but I just couldn’t face her. I couldn’t look into her sad eyes, knowing I was somehow contributing to her sadness.

  I don’t know why I had listened for a moment, but I did. I could hear him pushing her to satisfy his needs, telling her how crazy she makes him and how jealous he gets. Ally didn’t say much, but I could tell just from the tone of her voice, she wasn’t happy.

  I considered knocking on the open door and disturbing them, at least that way, she would have an excuse to leave. But as I moved closer to the open door, Jacob looked up at saw me standing there. Without missing a beat, he slammed his mouth against hers, taking what he wanted, telling me that she was his.

  I turned and walked back across the hall, but it was too late; I could hear him; grunting and groaning like a wild animal as he used her to make a point. I stood there for a moment longer, unsure of what I should do now. I decided to go back outside, but as I reached for the door, something stopped me. Something told me to stay and make sure she was okay. So, I waited.

  Now, standing there, looking into her sad eyes, I wished I’d left because now her mortification was complete, just as he’d wanted.

  “Jaxson,” she whispered as tears spilled down her face, but she quickly brushed them away.

  “I’m sorry, Ally,” I said, knowing that was the only thing she needed to hear right now. “I know you must hate me so much now.”

  “I…I don’t hate you,” she breathed out as she tried to keep her emotions together. “I could never hate you.”

  I stared at her for a few moments longer, having no clue what to say. But then I realised that there really was nothing I
could say. No words could ever make how I’d behaved, okay. I couldn’t make this right.

  “I should get back to work,” I finally said, knowing it was once more the coward’s way out. I turned and reached for the door, hating the person that I’d become.

  Stepping out into the cold, November night, I released a long, frustrated breath, knowing that this whole situation was fucked up. I needed to do the right thing. I needed to hand in my resignation and let her get on with her life without me complicating it anymore.

  I had barely made it more than a few steps away from the house when I heard the front door slamming. I stopped instantly and turned around.

  The moment I saw Ally standing there, I knew there was no avoiding her now.

  “So, that’s it?” She said as she stepped a little further down the steps. “After everything that’s happened, after everything you said. You say sorry and walk away?”

  “I don’t know what else you want me to say, Ally,” I replied, wishing I could just take her in my arms and hold her tight. “I don’t know what it is you want to know.”

  “I want to know what I did wrong,” she replied angrily, surprising me with her comment.

  “What you did wrong?” I asked, unsure of what she even meant.

  “What I did that was so bad that you couldn’t even look at me anymore,” she said as fresh tears trickled down her face, and this time, she didn’t fight them. “You… you said you were my friend. I trusted you.”

  “You didn’t do anything,” I assured her as I hurried back towards her. “Why would you even think that you had?”

  “Because one minute you were my friend,” she replied, blowing out a sharp breath as she brushed away her tears before she shook her head and squared her shoulders, and I knew right then she was putting her walls back up. “Then you weren’t.”

  “I’m still your friend,” I said, giving her a sad smile. “But I also have a job to do. It’s just complicated.”