Monster

by Holly C. Webb

  Once more, my stomach heaved.

  “Ally,” I said, stepping closer to her once more. “I know I have let you down. I know you don’t want to hear this, but I swear to you, the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you.”

  “You don’t owe me any explanation,” she said, once more sounding so cold and distant. “I get it. You’re here to do a job, and I have stopped you from doing that…”

  “That’s not how it is, Ally,” I quickly stopped her mid-sentence as I closed the distance between us. “And you know that.”

  “Do I?” She asked, giving me a defiant look, almost daring me.

  “Ally,” I sighed, taking hold of her arms. “Why are you so angry with me. Why can’t you see that I am trying to do the right thing here? I’m trying to be a good man.”

  “And what is the right thing?” She whispered, looking up into my eyes. “Why can’t I decide for myself?”

  She leaned up and softly kissed me; the touch of her lips against mine felt just as perfect as I remembered they were.

  Unable to resist, I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her against me, my will completely gone. I knew it was wrong. I knew I was weak, but the truth remained that I loved her, and I couldn’t resist.

  Picking her up, I staggered slowly towards the table, setting her down on the edge when I reached it. Once I did, I moved between her legs, pulling her closer to me once more.

  “Ally,” I groaned against her mouth as my hand glided up over her sides, before taking her face in my hands, kissing her with everything that was inside me. “God, I love you so much.”

  She pulled back the moment she heard my words, looking up at me, her amber coloured eyes searching mine.

  “I love you, too,” she whispered, then smiled before she leaned forward and kissed me again.

  This time, as she kissed me, she reached for my shirt, pulling it from my pants before she reached for the buckle on my belt. My heart was racing so fast; I could barely catch my breath as my cock strained against the material of my pants, longing to be freed.

  I reached up and pulled the belt on her dressing gown, opening it with just one tug. Then I glided my hands up over her body, brushing my thumb across her nipple as I passed over it. I pulled down the strap of her cream, satin nightdress, before breaking my lips from hers, dropping them to the soft, bare skin on her shoulder.

  She tasted every bit as good as I imagined she would.

  Suddenly, I looked up and saw our reflection in the glass door that led to the garden, just as Ally reached into my trousers, taking hold of my throbbing cock in her hand. I closed my eyes as she began to stroke it, knowing that as good as this felt, it was wrong.

  She was married.

  Her husband was asleep in the same house, right at that moment.

  “Ally,” I groaned, knowing that doing the right thing was going to be the hardest thing in the world.

  “Jax,” she breathed back as she looked up at me from beneath her beautiful, long lashes.

  “Ally, I can’t,” I whispered as I reached for her hand, stopping her before it was too late. “I’m sorry.”

  I pulled back from her just enough to see the surprise in her eyes once more, changing to a look of hurt.

  “Please don’t look at me like that,” I begged her as I took her face in my hands. “You don’t know how much I truly want you. I love you so much; it scares me. But you’re married. Your husband is sleeping upstairs. If he caught us, he would make your life a living nightmare. I know he would.”

  “I don’t care,” she said, giving me a pleading look. “I don’t care about him. He doesn’t love me, not as he should. I am nothing more than a possession to him. Something he can take and use, however, he wants. You saw that tonight. He fucked me in that room, like I was nothing, just to prove to you that I belonged to him. Well, I don’t. I don’t belong to anyone.”

  “I know you don’t,” I said as my mind replayed the memory I had of him fucking her earlier that evening, making my blood boil with anger. “But that still doesn’t make this right. I can’t do this. Not here, not like this?”

  “Then what now, Jaxson?” She said, suddenly pushing me away as her anger ignited deep inside her. “You go back out and find some other cheap bimbo to fuck again?”

  I looked at her in surprise, having no clue how she could have known about the blonde.

  “I can smell her on you,” she hissed as if she was reading my mind. “Your clothes are full of cheap perfume. What happened? Did hearing Jacob fucking me turn you on? So, you went and found your own girl to use and discard. I thought you were better than that, but maybe you’re no better than Jacob.”

  “Ally,” I said, surprised by the way she spoke with such venom. “That’s not how it was.”

  “That’s exactly how it was,” she cried, pushing me away before she pushed passed me, heading for the door.

  “Ally, please,” I begged as I reached out to grab hold of her hand, stopping her from walking away, but as I did, she quickly turned and slapped me across the face.

  “Don’t you ever touch me again,” she snapped, pinning me with a look that almost stopped my heart. “You do not get to use me as he does. I am worth more…”

  Suddenly, tears pooled in her eyes, glistening from the light of the full moon shining through the window. She blinked, and instantly the spilled down her face.

  “Ally,” I begged her, reaching out to her once more, knowing that I’d handled things so incredibly wrong.

  “No,” she sobbed, quickly taking a step back before she looked me straight in the eye once more. “We are done.”

  Before I could say another word, she turned and hurried out the door, heading straight for the stairs.

  “Fuck!” I cried, pushing my hands through my hair. This was not how I wanted things to end between Ally and me, but I knew now that there was nothing I could say to her to ever make this right.

  I realised that the decision I’d been struggling with earlier that night, now seemed like the only logical answer. I just needed to end this now.

  “I’m sorry, Jacob,” I said as I stood in his office the next morning, trying to ignore the fact I had the hangover from hell. “I just think that after the crash and everything, that maybe I’m not the right man for this job.”

  “I understand,” Jacob said, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say I could see the relief on his face. It was clear now that he knew there was something between Ally and me, and me leaving was the answer to his prayers. “And I’m grateful for you contacting your possible replacement. I want to make this transition as seamlessly as possible. For Ally’s sake.”

  “I understand,” I replied, trying not to show him just how hard this was for me. I hated that I had failed at my job. That I had allowed my personal feelings to affect my work. But most of all, I hated that I was letting Ally down on so many levels.

  I knew I would have to face her and tell her I was leaving. I didn’t know how she would take the news, or if she would even want to talk to me in the first place.

  “Well,” he said, standing up, offering me his hand, but the look of smug satisfaction on his face made me just want to smack him instead of shaking his hand. “It was a pleasure working with you, Jaxson.”

  As if on cue, Ally walked into the room, and instantly the smug smile on Jacob’s face grew wider.

  “Ally,” he exclaimed, looking almost like the cat that got the cream. I hated I was leaving her with him. I hated him with every fibre of my being. “I was just going to come to look for you, Sweetheart. I’m afraid I have some disappointing news.”

  “Oh,” she said, her eyes darting from him to me for a moment, then back to Jacob once more.

  “I’m afraid Jaxson here has decided that it’s time for him to move on,” he said, almost gleefully. “But I don’t want you worrying, Darling. Jaxson has provided us with the name of someone who can take up the position immediately, so you won’t even notice a thing. You will be perfectly safe still.�
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  “You’re leaving?” She asked, giving me a look that I was not expecting. I was expecting her to be angry, disappointed, or even a little hurt, maybe even relieved that whatever this was, was finally over, but she didn’t look any of these things.

  The only thing I could see when I looked into her eyes was complete and utter sadness. And once more, I knew I’d made the wrong decision.

  “Yes,” I replied, trying my hardest to force a smile I did not feel. “I’m sorry, Ally. Truly. But I need to admit that I’m not always the best person for the job. But Thatcher is one of the best at what he does. You’ll be in very good hands.”

  I stared at her for a moment, wishing there was something I could say to her to make this alright somehow, but I knew there was nothing.

  “I see,” she said, her voice cracking, betraying her, revealing her true emotions. She coughed before she continued. “When do you leave?”

  “This morning,” I said, and once more, I could see the sadness pour from her eyes. “I think I need to make a clean break sooner rather than later.”

  “Well,” she said, forcing a smile on her face. “Thank you for everything you’ve done, Jaxson.”

  “It was my pleasure working with you, Ally,” I replied, giving her a sad smile before I turned back to Jacob. “And you too Jacob.”

  With one last glance at Ally, I turned and walked out of the room, knowing I would regret this decision until the day I die.

  Chapter 19

  Ally

  “Happy Thanksgiving!” Lynn said as I walked into the kitchen.

  “Thank you, Lynn,” I said, smiling at her as I took my seat at the breakfast table. “Happy Thanksgiving.”

  Happy! I thought to myself miserably, and I poured myself a cup of coffee. Happy was one word I wouldn’t have used to describe how I was feeling at that exact moment.

  It was three days since Jaxson quit, and I don’t think I’d ever felt more lost in my life. It was stupid, really, I’d known him all of five weeks, but suddenly it felt like the biggest part of my world was now missing.

  To add to my misery, my folks called the night before to say that they were snowed in back in New Jersey, and so now wouldn’t be able to make the journey down for thanksgiving. Also, Teddy wouldn’t be coming to dinner. She was spending the holidays in Hawaii with some guy she hardly knew, but she was so excited, so I told her to have fun when she offered to stay after she heard my parents weren’t coming.

  So, Thanksgiving for me would be spent with Jacob, his parents, his friends, most of whom I don’t have anything in common with, and his new campaign manager, Mike Farrell, a man I didn’t particularly like.

  If I were honest, I would rather just get drunk then climb into bed and sleep until it was all over.

  “Is there anything I can do to help you prepare for dinner this evening?” I asked, watching Lynn closely, but I already knew her answer. She didn’t like me in her kitchen, but still, I had to offer.

  She’d arrived back the day before, and said her father was doing much better now. Still, she seemed a little quieter than she usually did, and I knew she was still upset over something. Maybe Lynn was human, after all.

  “I think I have everything sorted,” she smiled, but there was a look in her eyes. One I’d never seen in her before.

  “It’s no trouble for me to help,” I pushed, sensing that she might cave and let me do something.

  “Well, if you’re sure,” she said, and for the first time since I moved in, Lynn looked at me like I wasn’t an annoyance. “It would be great if you could help me set the table in the dining room. And I’m a little behind on the food prep, so maybe you could cut up some yams?”

  “I’d love to,” I replied, surprised by how happy I felt that she was actually asking me for help. “Just let me go get changed, then I’m all yours.”

  Lynn gave me a smile as I stood up and hurried towards the door. I quickly started up the stairs, still feeling happy that, for once, I was doing something more than just sitting around the house, waiting for the hours to pass.

  I was halfway up the stairs when I heard Jacob’s voice coming from his office. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but I knew that whatever it was he was talking about, he wasn’t happy. I stopped for a moment, then turned and made my way back down the stairs quietly.

  I stopped outside his office and held my breath as I listened to his side of the conversation.

  “I know what we agreed,” I heard him hiss down the phone to whoever it was he was talking to. “But now I need something on him. Something that will destroy his fucking life. This whole thing was supposed to bring us closer together, but he fucked that up, and I want him to pay for that, and I want him gone for good.”

  I had no clue what or who he was talking about, but something in the pit of the stomach told me that it was nothing good.

  “I want it sooner than that!” He continued, his tone angry and demanding. “And I want something that he can’t worm out of. It better be good for this price.”

  I wondered who it was he was talking about, and for some reason, my thoughts went to Jaxson. I knew there was no reason to believe Jacob was talking about him, but a horrible feeling settled over me.

  “Fine,” he finally said, sounding a little frustrated. “Oh, and Stroll, this better be worth it.”

  Stroll? I thought to myself as I took a step back from the door. Why do I know that name? I was sure I’d heard it before.

  I stepped back from the door, knowing I should go before I got caught and would have to explain myself.

  I turned and hurried towards the stairs, knowing Lynn would be waiting for me, and I needed to get my ass dressed and back down before she wonders where I’d gotten to.

  As I reached the top of the stairs, I looked down the hallway to the room that was once Jaxson, as I did every time, I climbed the stairs. I wondered where he was and if he was okay? I wondered if he missed me even half as much as I missed him.

  Pushing those thoughts away from my mind, I hurried on down towards my room. I needed to get changed and get on with my day. I also needed to stop letting Jaxson consume my every waking thought. It was bad enough he haunted my dreams every time I closed my eyes, without him haunting my days too.

  As I made my way back down the stairs a short time later, the front door opened, and Thatcher, Jaxson’s replacement, stepped through the door. He’d arrived two days before and had all his own ideas of how best to keep me safe. He was a lot older than Jaxson, but in good shape for a man of his age. He seemed to be a nice, friendly guy, who knew what he was doing, but he wasn’t Jaxson, and I didn’t want him here, following my every move. I didn’t want anyone.

  “Good morning, Mrs. Wallace,” he said with a friendly smile as I continued on down the stairs. “Happy Thanksgiving!”

  “Happy Thanksgiving,” I replied, forcing a smile on my face as I reached the bottom of the stairs. “Are you settling in okay?”

  “I am, thank you, Ma’am,” he replied, giving me an expectant look. I didn’t know what it was he was waiting for, but the way he looked at me unsettled me a little. Almost like there was more he wanted to say, I just didn’t know what that something was.

  I was just about to excuse myself when Jacob emerged from his office.

  “Is everything okay, Darling?” He asked me as he kissed me on the cheek before he looked at Thatcher expectantly. “Is there something you need, Thatcher?”

  “No, Mr. Wallace,” he replied, giving Jacob a reassuring smile. I noted that Jacob hadn’t told him to call him by his first name, something he’d done with Jaxson. It was clear he was determined to keep things more professional this time around, once more confirming to me that Jacob knew there was something between Jaxson and me. “Just checking the grounds and making sure everything is ready for when your guests arrive.”

  “Very good,” Jacob replied with a nod before he turned his attention to me as Thatcher quietly walked away, leaving us alone. “I need to go
out for a short while; Harry’s on his way to collect me. I shouldn’t be too long. Is that okay?”

  “Sure,” I replied, not really caring one way or another, whether he was here or not. “I’m going to help Lynn with the preparation for this evening’s dinner.”

  “Did she ask for help?” He asked, giving me a strange look.

  “No,” I shook my head. “I offered. I mean, I will just be sitting around the house doing nothing. I may as well be useful.”

  “But that’s what I pay her for,” Jacob grumbled, looking like he was trying to keep a lid on his annoyance. I knew Jacob was all about appearance. And me helping the help didn’t give off the right optics in his eyes. “You know how I feel about you doing this stuff.”

  “I know,” I sighed, not seeing what his problem was. “But this is my home. Surely, I can put a few knives and forks on a table without the world coming to a screaming halt. I don’t see what the big deal is.”

  “I know what you’re doing,” he said as he took a step closer to me, giving me a look that I knew only too well. “You’re trying to start a fight, just to ruin my night. You’re punishing me.”

  “Your night!” I exclaimed with a nervous laugh, ignoring his last remark. “It’s Thanksgiving; I think this night belongs to everyone.”

  “Don’t start with your smart mouth again, Ally,” Jacob hissed as he reached out and grabbed hold of my wrist, holding it so tight, he broke the bracelet I was wearing, driving it into my arm.”

  “Jacob, you’re hurting me,” I cried as I tried to pull my arm free, but he just held it tighter. “Please!”

  “I know you’re just punishing me because you think it’s my fault that Stone left,” he growled, pulling me closer to him as his grip tightened around my wrist, pushing the metal of the bracelet further into my skin. “I saw how he looked at you and how you looked at him.”

  “Jacob,” I cried, feeling a warm trickle roll down my arm, and I knew I was bleeding. “Have you lost your mind? Nothing happened between Jaxson and me. Now please, let me go. YOU’RE HURTING ME!”