Tainted Forever

by Terri Anne Browning

  I bit my lip, giving the idea some consideration. Singing onstage with guys who were like family to me? It might help with my stage fright a little. Shane knew how to put me at ease, as would the others. “Would they be up to helping me?” I asked, unsure. They were all busy men. They had families that needed them, and they rarely toured anymore.

  “Are you kidding me?” Aunt Emmie sighed, her green eyes running over me. “They would be happy to help. You’re family, Kin. We might not have loved you as long as we have Lucy, but we do love you like one of our own.”

  “I’ll just have to find a drummer for a few concerts,” Annabelle said, already making plans. “Neither Dev nor Jesse are going to want to go far from home with the new grandbaby. Hell, you would think they were new daddies.”

  “Let’s say two, three weeks tops with the legends,” Aunt Emmie told her, punching all the ideas into her phone. “I’ll find you a full-time band for after that. By then, I know you won’t be as nervous. You’ll be a pro, sweetheart.”

  The waiter cleared away our plates before pouring us coffees. Aunt Emmie’s phone rang, and she quickly excused herself after shooting me a look out of the corner of her eye. I shrugged it off, figuring it had to do with Petrova.

  Annabelle lifted her coffee to her lips, her eyes examining me over the top of her cup.

  “What?” I asked with a laugh. “Did I get dressing on my face again?”

  “No, you’re fine. I’m just concerned for you.”

  I was touched she cared enough about me to be concerned. “I’ll be fine, Annabelle. I’m not the first woman to have a broken heart.”

  Her lips pressed together for a moment. “Oh, honey, I’m well aware. I’ve been there. Z and I, we had a long history before we got married. We spent seventeen years apart because he couldn’t put me first. Or even second.”

  I lowered my lashes, unable to look at her as the memories flashed over her face, causing her pain. She sighed heavily before putting on a smile. “I hated him for a little while, or so I kept telling myself. But the heart wants what the heart wants. Still, I had my pride, and I couldn’t let him know that I never stopped loving him.”

  “I’m sorry, Annabelle. That must have been hard. I know…a little of what you went through from Lucy.”

  “There are days I don’t even want to get out of bed because I miss Michelle so much,” she murmured, her eyes filling with tears. “But Z helps me through those days. We usually lie in bed and hold each other. We have a really good cry, and then we go visit her little grave.”

  I reached over, squeezing her hand. “You’re so strong. I wish…I really wish I were like you.”

  “We all face our own obstacles, sweetheart. Losing your mom must have been just as hard as me losing my baby.”

  I nodded, my throat clogging with emotion. “I miss her every day.”

  We were quiet for a moment, both of us trying to get hold of our emotions. Needing a change of topic, I asked the one question I’d always wondered about her. “How did you forgive Zander? How do you forgive and trust someone after they’ve proven that you weren’t their number one priority?”

  “It wasn’t easy. I mean, we still work hard on that, even today. He tried to quit the band once, to show me I was more important to him than all of that, but I couldn’t let him do it. I don’t think I could have lived with myself if I let him, you know?”

  I nodded, knowing exactly what she meant.

  “But that was the start of putting us back together. And I can’t honestly tell you when it all just fell into place. It was little things every day that he did to show me he loved me, that we belonged together, and that I meant more to him than anything else ever had or ever would.”

  She pushed her cup and saucer away and squeezed my hand. “All I’m saying is, if you love Jace, it will all eventually work out. He will pull his head out of his ass and realize exactly what his priorities should be. Don’t give up on each other.”

  “That’s easier said than done,” I grumbled.

  “True. But anything worth having is worth fighting for. If you love him, if you need him, things will work out in the end.”

  While I was digesting that, my phone rang. Seeing Riley’s name on my screen, I picked it up. “Sorry,” I told Annabelle, but she waved her hand as I lifted the phone to my ear. “Hey, what’s—”

  “Oh my God, Kin!” Riley was freaking out. “Nate was just arrested, and I can’t leave this fucking store because I have zero help.”

  “What?” I cried. “What do you mean, he was arrested? Calm down for two seconds and tell me what is going on, Riley.”

  I heard her suck in a deep breath and then release it. “I had to come into work on my day off because my mom is out of town and there was only one of our staff that isn’t out with the damn stomach bug. Nate slept over last night, and your psycho ex showed up, pounding on the door. It woke Nate up, and I guess it looked bad because Jace started throwing punches before Nate could even explain he’s with me. I don’t fucking know!” She was sobbing now. “The neighbor broke them up. He’s a cop or something. The guy called the super, and now Nate and Jace are both in a jail cell for trespassing and disturbing the peace and assault.”

  “Oh shit,” I whispered, and Annabelle asked me what was wrong. Shaking my head, I looked around frantically for Aunt Emmie, who hadn’t returned yet. Seeing her near the bathrooms, I saw that her phone was still pressed to her ear, and she looked anything but happy.

  The look she gave me earlier made sense now. She’d gotten a call from Jace.

  Of course, he would call her. She would need to be the first person he called because this was going to blow up all over entertainment news and social media. It probably already had.

  “Kin!” Riley screamed in my ear. “Kin, please get him out of there. I can’t leave. Fuck. I can’t go and take care of him, and it’s killing me.”

  “It’s okay. He’s going to be fine,” I assured her, my tone soothing. “I’m leaving right now. Do you know where he’s being held?”

  “I wrote it down. I’ll text it to you.” Her breathing hitched, and I could hear her sniffling. “Tell him I’m sorry I can’t come myself. I want to. I need to. But this goddamn store is overflowing with people today with our Friday sale, and I can’t leave Cindy all by herself.”

  “He will understand, Riley. Don’t worry about him. I’ll handle everything. Just stay calm. I’ll get him out.”

  Chapter 21

  Jace

  After Kin left the night before and Gray kept me from following after them, I waited ten minutes before sneaking out with an excuse of having to go to the bathroom. Zander had been telling stories that had everyone but me rolling with laughter, and Gray probably figured Kin had plenty of time to have gotten well on her way home by then.

  As I took a back exit Harris showed me before, I pulled up the phone locator app on my phone and punched in Kin’s number and passcode, hoping she hadn’t changed that on her own app. I was acting like a fucking stalker, but she was leaving me no choice. I just wanted to talk to her, damn it.

  The app let me in, and I got a hit right away on the GPS. I ran to my car and followed it.

  By the time I got to the apartment building in West Hollywood, Kin was still sitting in Derrick’s car. I turned off my headlights and parked, watching them. After talking for a few more minutes, she got out and waved as she walked toward the front entrance.

  Holding my breath, I waited until she was inside before getting out and going in after her. She was already on the elevator, and I watched to see which floor it stopped on before following up after her. Once I was on her floor, I called her, straining to listen for the rings until I finally found the right apartment.

  I lifted my hand to knock on her door, but I was too disgusted with myself to face her right then. Shit, I really had lost my mind. I’d stalked her all the way home. I was being selfish yet again.

  Pissed off at myse
lf, I went home, but I couldn’t sleep. She didn’t invite Derrick up. That had to mean something. She wasn’t ready to move on from me. I should have been happy, but my mind wouldn’t be at ease.

  I needed to see her, fix this once and for all.

  Around dawn, my brain finally shut off, and I was able to grab a few hours of sleep.

  Once I woke up, I threw back the covers, took a shower, and then grabbed some breakfast, noticing it was getting close to lunchtime. Hoping Kin was up and finally would be ready to talk, I drove back to West Hollywood.

  Knocking on her door, I waited. Whoever her roommates were, they weren’t answering, and neither was she. I tried calling her, but like always, she wouldn’t answer. Cursing, I pounded on the door one more time.

  Hearing footsteps, my heart started racing. Maybe she’d just been in the shower…

  The door opened, and everything inside of me turned to ice. Nate stood before me, eyes closed, rubbing a hand over his bare chest. The only thing he had on was a pair of boxers, and they looked like they’d just been tossed on.

  “Motherfucker!” I roared, losing my mind as jealousy and possessiveness clouded my eyes in a red haze. His eyes were still closed, so he didn’t see my punch coming straight at his face.

  Nate’s head jerked from the force of my blow, and he stumbled back a step before he was able to find his footing once again. His eyes were wide open now, his gaze feral as he charged at me. We were both throwing punches as we landed on the floor, half in the apartment, half in the corridor.

  “I’m going to rip your fucking head off!” I shouted, twisting and flipping him so I could beat the living hell out of him. I’d always known he had a thing for Kin. He was constantly flirting with her, hugging her. Now he thought I was out of the way, and he could have a go at her?

  Fuck that. Fuck him.

  She was mine.

  “What the hell?” Someone growled above us, seconds before I was being dragged off Nate. I struggled, but the guy put me in a headlock, and suddenly my throat was being blocked by a thick arm. “You two idiots are ruining my day off, you know that?” the guy holding me snarled. “How’s a man supposed to get any sleep if you’re causing all this noise?”

  Nate jerked to his feet, holding his ribs. His lip was bleeding, and there was a big red spot on his jaw that was going to bruise. I struggled harder despite not being able to breathe, wanting to finish the fucker off.

  “You,” my capturer snapped at Nate. “What’s your name?”

  “Nate.”

  “What are you doing here, son? This isn’t your apartment. I know the girls who live here, and I ain’t ever seen you before.”

  “My girlfriend lives here.”

  I kicked out at the cop, ready to end Nate once and for all. “No,” I choked out. “My girlfriend lives here.”

  “Shut up, Jace,” Nate told me, his voice hard, but he was calming down. “You stupid fuck, you don’t even know—”

  “She’s mine, do you hear me? Kin is mine. You can’t fucking have her.”

  The arm around my neck tightened. “Shut up, the both of you. I’m calling the super, and then you two are going downtown.”

  Which was how I ended up in a holding cell thirty minutes later. Nate sat in the one directly beside mine, glaring off into space, his arms folded over his chest. The neighbor who broke up our fight turned out to be a cop and was too pissed we woke him up to let us go with a warning.

  I’d already made my phone call, which hadn’t been pleasant. Emmie busted my balls during our call, and I wasn’t looking forward to having to deal with her when she showed up.

  The sound of a buzzer alerted us that someone was coming just as the door opened and Emmie stormed in. But it was the sight of Kin that had me on my feet. The two redheads stopped in front of our two cells. I was expecting the pissed-off look on Emmie’s face, but Kin was seething as she met my gaze.

  “Baby—”

  “Shut up, Jace. I’m not here for you.” She moved closer to Nate’s cell. He was already at the bars, his eyes raking over her. “I came as soon as I heard. I’m so sorry.”

  I gripped the bars, shaking them in my fury. “Is it true?” I demanded. “Are you with him?”

  She ignored me. “I’ve already talked to the arresting officer. You’ll be out of here as soon as he finishes the paperwork.”

  “Are you fucking with him?” I yelled.

  “Riley wanted to come, but she was short-staffed.”

  Nate nodded. “I know. Her mom called this morning, and she didn’t want to get out of bed, but there was no one else. I hated bothering her at work, but I didn’t know who else to call. I don’t have a lot of people I can depend on.”

  “Kin!” I reached through the bars, trying to grab at her, but Emmie was there, slapping my hand away.

  “Have you completely lost your mind?” she asked me, her voice cold but quiet. “I would expect this kind of shit from the other four TK guys but not you. I thought you had more sense.”

  “Just get me the hell out of here so I can talk to my girl,” I yelled at her. “That’s your job, right? To clean up my messes?”

  Her eyes flashed fire, but I didn’t care. She could have blasted me with the full force of her rage, and I wouldn’t have felt it. Kin stood there, talking quietly with Nate now, her hand covering his on the bar, touching him like he was precious.

  “You know what?” Emmie said with a smile that should have chilled me, but that wasn’t possible when my entire body was already a block of ice. “I think this is the best place for you. You want to act like a spoiled little brat? I’ll treat you like one. You need a time-out, Jace. I think a little time locked in here will do you good.”

  Kin’s head snapped around, her eyes huge. “Aunt Emmie, what are you doing?”

  “His head’s fucked up, Kin. He needs a little time to clear it before he can be out around normal people again.” She patted Kin on the arm then walked away. “See you later, dickhead.”

  “Oh good Lord,” Kin muttered. “This is ridiculous. Apologize to her, Jace.”

  “Are you with Nate?” I asked, my voice hoarse.

  “No!” She stepped closer, poking me in the chest. I caught her hand, pressing it against my heart, and was finally able to breathe again. “You idiot, of course I’m not with Nate. Do you think I could date him when you still own my heart?”

  “Then why the hell was he in your apartment in nothing but his boxers?”

  “Because I’m with Riley, dumbass. You know, her roommate?” Nate glared at me then went to sit down on the bench.

  “Shit,” I groaned, leaning my head against the bars. “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t know. I didn’t… I’m sorry. I just saw you, and my brain short-circuited.”

  Kin tugged at her arm, but I didn’t release her. “Let me go. I have to go talk to Aunt Emmie and try to get you out of here.”

  “I don’t care when I get out of here,” I told her honestly, bending my head so I could kiss the back of her hand. “I’ll stay in here for a year if you’ll just talk to me.”

  “Really? You want to pull that now? No, Jace. Can’t you understand that we’re over?”

  “No,” I told her honestly. “I won’t ever understand it. I love you, Kin. I want to spend my life with you. I want to marry you.”

  She jerked back, her lashes lowering, blocking me out, but not before I saw the tears fill her eyes. “I…I need to go get you released,” she choked out before hurrying away.

  “You’re such a dumbass,” Nate said with a snort from the other cell. “Do you ever listen to yourself? You use the word ‘I’ a hell of a lot, man.”

  Groaning, I dropped down onto my own bench. “Yeah, I’m a selfish prick. She loves me and hates me all at the same time.”

  “Just give her some time and some space. Your crazy is a little exhausting.”

  Nate was out less than an hour later, but it took longer for me. Resisting arres
t tended to piss a cop off, apparently. I didn’t know what strings Kin had to pull, but I was pretty sure if she hadn’t been able to talk Emmie into helping me out, she’d had to call Alicia.

  I walked out into the lobby just as the sun was starting to set. Kin stood there waiting for me. As I walked toward her, she folded her hands together. “Alicia wants you to call her.”

  “I’ll do it when I get home,” I told her, my eyes eating up the sight of her. “I’m sorry you had to bail me out.”

  “I just made a few phone calls. Aunt Emmie is pissed at you, by the way. Please, just smooth things over with her.” She touched my arm, her blue eyes pleading up at me. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I’m stubborn and I’ve made you miserable. I’m sorry you hurt right now and your mind isn’t clear like it should be. I’m even sorry I ran off and didn’t tell you where I was. I know…I know I’ve fucked with your head, and I’m partially at fault for all this mess. But you have to calm down. You can’t go around getting into fights, Jace. I love you, but you have to chill out, or you are going to ruin your life.”

  I covered her hand, my fingers skimming over her wrist. “Without you in my life, it’s already ruined. None of this is your fault, baby. Not one single thing. This is all on me. I caused all this pain. All the bullshit that is clouding my head right now is on me.” I cupped her elbow, pulled her closer, and hugged her. I breathed in deeply, savoring the scent of her shampoo in my nose. “I love you, Kin.”

  She melted against me. “I love you too,” she whispered.

  “Jace!” Lifting my head, I found Kassa storming into the police station, and she was pissed. “What the fuck? Gray and I were on our way to Vegas for the weekend, and Kin called to tell me you were arrested?”

  Kin pulled back and turned to face my sister and Gray as they crossed the mostly deserted lobby. “You didn’t have to come back,” Kin assured my sister. “I got it sorted out with Alicia’s help.”