Full Bloom

by Janet Evanovich

  “I’ll check,” Doc said. The women turned their backs. “Yep, he’s wearing them.”

  “Okay,” Annie said to Erdle, trying to sound businesslike and matter-of-fact, even though her pulse was going wacko. “Let’s strip him down.” The others, including a disgruntled Destiny, stepped from the room. Erdle and Annie managed to free Wes from his clothes, with the exception of a pair of boxer shorts adorned with red hearts.

  “Get a load of that,” Erdle said.

  “Huh?” Annie tried not to stare at the lean, muscular body, but it would have been impossible not to look. She knew Erdle was referring to Wes’s boxer shorts. “I’m sure he didn’t purchase them for himself. Probably his wife or girlfriend.”

  “Awesome,” Destiny said, peeking around the door. “It’s almost worth it just to see that. Cool boxers, huh?”

  Annie tore her gaze from his body. “Okay, everybody back in here. Let’s get him in the bathtub.”

  It was not an easy task, but once they’d settled Wes into the tub, Theenie stuffed a towel beneath his head to protect it from further harm. Annie pulled the curtain closed and turned on the cold water full force. She reached in and adjusted the spray so it would hit his face. The man remained immobile. After several minutes, Annie turned off the water and looked at Doc. “He’s not responding.”

  “Let’s give it time. He should come around eventually. I hope I’m not here when he does.”

  Annie didn’t bother to hide her annoyance. “What should we do with him in the meantime?”

  “Be best to dry him off and cover him with a blanket,” Doc told her.

  Annie gaped. “You mean leave him in the bathtub?”

  “I don’t think we’re going to be able to get him out.”

  Annie shook her head sadly as she moved to the linen cabinet. “This day can’t get any worse.”

  “Unless he dies,” Theenie said fretfully. “I don’t know what we’ll do then. Probably we’ll go to jail. Which is probably a whole lot better than being homeless when you think about it,” she added, only to frown. “Unless, well, you know what happens behind prison walls. We could end up in a cell with a big woman who decides to make us her b-i-t-c-h.” She shuddered.

  Destiny just looked at her. “Have you ever considered taking Xanax?”

  Theenie ignored her. “I’ll grab a blanket,” she said, hurrying from the room.

  Annie dried Wes from head to toe, all the while trying to ignore how good he looked. “His underwear is soaked,” she said as Theenie returned with the blanket.

  “Best to get him out of them,” Doc replied.

  Annie took a step back. “I’m not doing it.”

  “Let me do it,” Destiny said.

  Theenie squared her shoulders. “No, I’ll do it,” she said, surprising everyone in the room. “It’s not like I haven’t seen my share of naked bodies, what with being a nurse’s aide and all.” She looked at Destiny. “Besides, this should be done in a professional manner.”

  Destiny gave a grunt. “Yeah, right. You want to get a look at Mr. Big as bad as the rest of us.”

  “I’m not listening to that kind of talk,” Theenie said, covering her ears. “La la la la la.”

  Destiny looked at Jamie. “Is it me or what?”

  Theenie glanced at Annie. “Is she done talking dirty yet?”

  Annie nodded and Theenie dropped her hands to her sides. “Okay, everybody out,” the older woman said. “I have a job to do. And no peeking,” she added, looking right at Destiny.

  Annie followed the others out of the bathroom. She skidded to a halt. Standing on the other side of the door was her friend Danny Gilbert. She feigned a smile as her cohorts in crime scattered.

  “I rang the doorbell,” he said. He glanced about the room. “Why does everybody look so serious? Is something wrong?”

  Annie pulled the bathroom door closed. “Wrong?” She tried to think fast. “Oh well—” She jumped as a moan sounded from the bathroom.

  “What was that?” Danny asked.

  Annie shot a frantic look at the others. “Um, Theenie isn’t feeling well.”

  “Digestive problems,” Doc said authoritatively. “It happens to the best of us.”

  Another moan. Danny looked concerned. “Is it serious?”

  “Not sure.” Doc chuckled. “Might have to put her down.”

  Annie rolled her eyes. “She’ll be fine.”

  The bathroom door opened and Theenie stepped out, holding Wes’s boxer shorts. “I’m glad to have that behind me,” she said. “It wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be.” Her eyes widened when she spied Danny. “Oh, I didn’t know we had company.” She wadded the boxers in her hands.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “I’m a little sore from all the strenuous activity, but—” She stopped abruptly as though realizing she’d said more than she should. “I think I’ll just put these in the dryer,” she told Annie, hurrying away.

  “I really need to head back to the office,” Jamie said, already backing away. “I’ll see myself out.” Fleas, who’d managed to sleep through the whole thing, got up, shook himself, and followed.

  Annie managed to say a quick good-bye before she turned to Danny. “What are you doing here?”

  He looked surprised. “Just thought I’d drop by for a cup of coffee.”

  “Oh.” It wasn’t unusual for Danny to stop by if he was in the neighborhood; he was like family. He and Annie started hanging out together years before, during the summers she spent with her grandmother. Some people mistook them for brother and sister, since they both had red hair and green eyes. “Um, gee, I wish I could visit with you,” she said, slipping her arm through his and prodding him toward the living room, “but we’re up to our ears in work, what with the wedding and all.” She hadn’t even told Danny who was getting married.

  He looked amused. “Are you throwing me out?”

  “No, of course not,” she said, opening the door and shoving him onto the piazza. “I’m just, um, really busy right now. Bye.” She started to close the door.

  “Wait! I’d also hoped you might want to take in a movie this week.”

  “Movie? Oh, right,” she said quickly. She and Danny usually grabbed a quick dinner and saw a movie every week. “May I get back to you on that?” she asked.

  “Well, sure. Hey, are you okay? You seem awfully nervous.”

  “Nervous?” She thought she was acting pretty calm considering there was an unconscious butt-naked man in her bathtub. “I just need to go through my to-do list for the wedding; after that I’ll have a better idea how long it’s going to take. I’ll call you.”

  “That’s fine,” he said. He turned. “By the way, whose Harley is that? It’s one mean-looking machine.”

  Annie wondered how she’d missed the massive chrome and black motorcycle. “It must belong to one of Erdle’s friends. See you later.” She closed the door and leaned against it. She gave an enormous sigh of relief when Danny pulled away in his car. She knew darn well who the motorcycle belonged to; it had Wes Bridges written all over it. That would explain his biker clothes. What she didn’t know and couldn’t figure out was why Wes had shown up in her backyard in the first place.

  Several hours later, Wes was still out cold, and Destiny was in her room taking a nap. Annie prepared a meat loaf for dinner and iced a pan of brownies while Theenie peeled potatoes. They worked in silence, but every so often Theenie would look at Annie and shake her head.

  “I know,” Annie finally said. “I can’t believe we have a naked man lying in the bathtub, either.”

  “I’ll set the table,” Theenie said once she’d put the potatoes on to boil.

  “Thanks.” Annie was grateful that both of her full-time tenants were only too eager to help around the place; it made her job a lot easier. She was only forced to hire help when her bed-and-breakfast was full. She checked on Wes, shook him lightly, but there was no movement.

  Destiny came downstairs looking r
ested. She wore tight jeans and a low-cut royal blue blouse with gold moons and stars that did not detract from her cleavage.

  “Something smells good,” Destiny said. “What can I do to help?”

  As Annie put the finishing touches on dinner she assigned Destiny a small task.

  Erdle showed up as the women carried the food to the table. He had showered, changed his clothes, and scrubbed the dirt from beneath his fingernails, a rule Annie had put into place long ago. He took his usual chair, tucked his napkin inside his collar, and waited for the women to sit, but his eyes were fixed on Destiny.

  “Please say grace, Erdle,” Annie said, not because he was particularly good at it but because she thought it might put him on the path of the straight and narrow. So far it hadn’t worked.

  He bowed his head. “Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub.”

  Theenie pursed her lips. “I wish you’d learn a new prayer. That is not at all proper. One of these days the ground is going to split right open and swallow you whole.”

  He shrugged and looked at Annie. “I picked up all the branches, raked the leaves, and trimmed the weeds,” he said proudly as they passed the food around. “We’ve got some leftover pine straw in the carriage house, so I’ll put it out tomorrow.”

  Annie knew Erdle was just sucking up so she wouldn’t evict him. “You’ll have to stay on top of it so it stays nice. In the meantime you can start tilling that patch of ground behind the carriage house.”

  Erdle shifted in his chair. “That tiller is pretty old, been sitting around for years. I’m pretty sure it don’t work.”

  “It works. I’ve already checked.”

  Erdle paused and fixed a weary gaze on her. “Tell me again why you want that land tilled?”

  “I’ve already told you I want to plant a vegetable garden back there. It’s more than large enough.” Annie hoped by planting her own vegetables she would save on the grocery bills. “I need to get started right away, with the weather being so warm.”

  “You can’t grow nothing back there. Not enough sun.”

  “You’re wrong. It gets the morning sun.”

  “You’re just not up early enough to notice,” Theenie said.

  Erdle didn’t respond. Instead, he concentrated on his food.

  Annie kept her gaze fixed on him. The man would stall as long as he could to keep from doing any work. “Erdle?”

  “Okay,” he said. “I’ll get on it.”

  Annie was about to pin him down as to when he would get on it, but a sound from the bathroom startled her. She jumped from the table and hurried in that direction with Destiny and Theenie right behind. Wes was still lying in the tub, his eyes open. “Oh, thank goodness!” Annie said. “You’re awake.”

  He didn’t look happy to see her. “Would you care to explain why in the hell I’m lying naked in this eff-in’ bathtub?”

  CHAPTER THREE

  Annie opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

  Theenie peered around her. “How nice to see you awake. You’re just in time for dinner.”

  Wes ignored her, his gaze fixed on Annie. “I asked you a question.”

  “Okay, but you’re not going to like the answer.”

  “Somehow I managed to figure that much out for myself.”

  “It’s not Annie’s fault,” Theenie said, beginning to fidget with her hands. “As hard as it must be for you to believe, she’s had nothing but your best interests at heart since she accidentally hit you, uh, twice.”

  “The medication Doc gave you was stronger than we thought,” Annie said, deliberately being vague. She didn’t want Doc listed in Wes’s lawsuit.

  He stared back at her for a full minute. Finally, he sat up and rubbed the back of his head, wincing when he touched the knot. “How long have I been out?”

  “All day,” Annie said.

  “What the hell did the man give me, a horse tranquilizer?”

  Annie and Theenie exchanged looks. “It was an accident,” Annie said.

  Wes scowled. “Another accident? There seems to be a lot of that going around.” His gaze narrowed on Annie. “Are you the one who undressed me?”

  “I did that,” Theenie cut in quickly. “I’m accustomed to seeing naked men. It used to be part of my job.”

  Wes seemed to ponder that before turning back to Annie. “I want my clothes, and I want them now.”

  Annie pointed. “They’re hanging on the back of the door here. While you get dressed, I’ll prepare you a plate. We’re having meat loaf.” She and Theenie hurried from the room.

  The group was silent when Wes entered the kitchen a few minutes later, fully dressed, with the exception of his denim jacket, hooked over one finger. He leaned close to Annie. “Mind telling me what happened to my boxer shorts?”

  “Oh, I left them on top of the dryer,” Theenie said. She stood and hurried into the laundry room, but when she reappeared she looked confused. “They’re gone.” She looked at Destiny.

  “What? You think I took them?”

  “Well, they didn’t just walk away.”

  The three women looked at one another, then at Erdle.

  He shook his head. “I don’t wear boxer shorts with hearts on them.”

  All eyes landed on Wes. “I got behind on my laundry, and they were my last pair. Besides, I didn’t know they would be on display in a house full of strangers.”

  “I’m sure they’ll turn up,” Annie said. “Won’t you join us for dinner? I know you have to be hungry.”

  Wes hesitated. Finally, he draped his jacket over the back of the chair and sat as everyone began passing food to him. Annie had prepared him a glass of iced tea and set it beside his plate. He stared at it for a moment.

  “I didn’t poison it,” she said.

  He took a tentative sip.

  They ate in silence. Destiny finally broke it when she asked how Max and Jamie’s wedding plans were going.

  Theenie gasped and slapped her hand over her mouth. “We’re not supposed to mention names,” came her muffled reply. She cut her eyes to Erdle.

  “What do I care who’s getting married here?” he said with a shrug.

  “Please don’t discuss it with anyone,” Annie told him. As she gave Destiny an update she could feel Wes’s eyes on her. She looked at him, and their gazes locked for several seconds before she looked away.

  A clatter from above made them pause and stare at the ceiling.

  Wes glanced around the table at the anxious faces. “Are there other guests here?”

  “It’s just the wind rattling the windowpanes,” Annie said.

  “Yeah, right,” Destiny muttered.

  Theenie looked at Wes. “You know, our Annie puts on the most beautiful weddings,” she blurted, obviously trying to change the subject. “Her clientele is growing by leaps and bounds.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Her parties are just grand.”

  “I don’t think Wes is interested in all that,” Annie said, her face growing warm.

  Theenie went on. “Annie usually does all the cooking, but Lovelle and I help. We’re full-time tenants. Lovelle is away at the moment. We used to have another tenant named Dora, but she died.”

  Wes arched one brow and turned to Annie.

  “It wasn’t my fault. She was elderly and died of natural causes.”

  “How long have you had this place?” he asked.

  Annie was surprised he was being civil to her. “The house has been in my family for generations, but I only opened the bed-and-breakfast a few years ago. This is my slow season.”

  He sat back in his chair and regarded her. “I might be interested in renting a room.”

  Everybody gaped. Erdle, in the process of swallowing, almost choked. “You’d actually rent a room from her after what happened? Man, you must be desperate.”

  “I only need a place for a week or two, and I hate motel rooms.”

  “Well, I . . .” Annie tried to pull her thoughts together. She gl
anced at Theenie, whose face seemed to have drained of color. Destiny looked amused.

  “I can provide references,” he said. “Except for that short stint in prison.”

  Theenie dropped her fork, and it clattered in her plate.

  “Just kidding,” Wes said.

  “You should rent him the master bedroom,” Erdle said. He looked at Wes. “It’s huge. Has cable TV, a fireplace, one of those claw-foot tubs in the bathroom, and a big mirror on the ceiling.”

  “Wow, that sounds like my kind of room,” Destiny said.

  Annie managed a tight smile. “I don’t normally rent it out. Only if I’m booked and have no other choice.”

  “Why aren’t you using it?” Wes asked.

  Erdle answered for her. “She moved out of it when her husband ran off with another woman.”

  “Thank you for sharing, Erdle,” Annie said.

  Wes seemed to be doing his best to swallow a smile. “How long has your husband been gone?”

  Annie avoided eye contact. “Three years.”

  “Does he live around here?” Wes asked.

  “If I knew where he lived I would serve him with divorce papers.” She gave a dismissive wave. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

  “I’d like to see the room after dinner if that’s okay.”

  “I have other rooms.”

  “Yes, but I’m willing to pay twice what you would normally charge for the master.”

  “Why on earth would you do that?” she asked.

  “Because it offers a lot more than a motel room and because the food is good here.” He almost smiled. “And I have a thing for overhead mirrors.”

  “Amen to that,” Destiny said, drawing a frown from Theenie.

  “I’d jump on that, Miss Annie,” Erdle said, “seeing as how you could use the money.”

  Annie finally shrugged, trying to appear indifferent. “Sure.” She would show Wes the room, but that didn’t mean she was going to rent it to him. Annie didn’t have to look at Theenie to know the woman was probably gnawing her bottom lip ninety-to-nothing.

  Thirty minutes later, Annie led Wes to the second floor and into the master suite. The bronze and gilt furniture had been hand-carved along the lines of French provincial, only fancier—or ostentatious, as her mother had often remarked—adorned with hearts, curlicues, and rosettes. As in the dining room, the red walls and red velvet draperies were in keeping with the original decor. Annie had left the nineteen-inch color TV that her husband Charles had purchased for the room.