All The Befores

by Samantha Chase

  Turning her head, she looked at him and laughed. “Kyle, can you imagine the sophisticated Bishop family hanging out in your dad’s backyard? Come on!” Then she motioned toward the inside of the massive house. “And are you telling me you’re not enjoying the food here? The menu has been spectacular! I’m already planning on putting about a dozen crab cakes in my purse for later.”

  “Classy,” he said, still laughing. They stood in companionable silence for several moments. “So I hear you’re moving to Raleigh.”

  She nodded. “Yup.”

  “Why so far?”

  “It’s only three hours away.”

  “You know my sister is freaking out over it though, right?”

  “Yeah, I know,” she said sadly, her eyes never leaving the waves crashing on the shore. The sun was going down and it was her favorite time of day. “Once the baby’s born, she won’t even notice I’m gone.”

  “Somehow, I doubt that.”

  But it wasn’t Kyle who spoke, but his older brother Dean.

  As in…the man she wanted most in the world and couldn’t have.

  Why did he have to come out here? I specifically came out here to escape!

  Both Courtney and Kyle turned and looked at him and she did her best to appear calm and cool–and not at all like her heart was ready to beat right out of her chest at the sight of him.

  Tall, shaggy dark hair, blue eyes, and dimples. Honestly, every time she was near him her ovaries sighed. It was so unfair that he was off-limits.

  Smiling at her, Dean raised his beer as he commented, “It doesn’t matter how much time my sister spends with the baby, nothing can replace a best friend.”

  And he was sweet too, damn him.

  When he continued to stare at her expectantly, she realized she probably should respond. “Nah. I think between the baby, Mason, and everyone coming to see the baby, Scarlett’s going to be just fine. And it’s not like I’m moving to another country or anything, I’m only a few hours away.”

  “Still not the same,” he said mildly before looking at his younger brother. “Can you believe our baby sister is getting married tomorrow?”

  Kyle shrugged. “Considering she’s just about ready to give birth, I’m kind of happy she’s getting married tomorrow.” He winked at Courtney. “Am I right?”

  “Look, I firmly believe in the institution of marriage,” she said evenly, “but it’s not like they had to get married. No one has to do that anymore.”

  “Still,” Kyle replied, “I just think it’s the right thing to do.”

  “What is this, 1950?” Dean asked with a small laugh.

  “On that note, I’m going to get a refill,” she said, stepping away from the railing and raising her glass. “I’ll see you two later.” She sashayed away and got a brief whiff of Dean’s cologne–all fresh, clean, and masculine–and she wanted to rub up against him and just inhale deeply.

  Yeah, it was definitely time for another drink.

  Maybe two.

  As she made her way back toward the bar, she caught a server walking by with those mini crab cakes she loved so much and grabbed a few. At the bar, she had her glass re-filled while she noshed and then caught another server who had a tray of chicken satay. So she grabbed some of them as well. She figured if she was going to slam back some cocktails, it would be smart to keep eating.

  Out of the corner of her eye she spotted Dean walking back into the room with Kyle and sighed.

  It wasn’t fair. She’d been crushing on him since she was fifteen and because he was six years older, it was completely inappropriate. Now? Not so much. But he was her best friend’s brother and as such, that meant Dean was completely off-limits. There had never been a conversation between her and Scarlett regarding this–mainly because she was too embarrassed to admit how she felt. For some reason, Courtney felt her friend wouldn’t have a big problem if she had crushed on Kyle or even Hunter because they were closer in age. Dean was…well…not only was there a bigger age-gap, but he was way more serious and level-headed than his brothers. He didn’t do casual relationships and for a long time, Courtney wasn’t looking for anything long-term.

  A fact Scarlett would have brought up as a way of discouraging this crush.

  Too bad it didn’t work.

  No matter how many times she told it to herself.

  Dean Jones was the ultimate man to her and she knew the main reason she never wanted a serious relationship was because he was always right there–small town living meant they ran into each other a lot. And every time she saw him, it just reinforced why no other man measured up and how it was never going to happen for them.

  And now she had to move on with her life.

  He caught her eye from across the room and smiled. The weak smile she gave him was forced and rather than think about it, she turned her attention back to the bar and ordered a second glass of wine.

  Everything felt…off.

  Glancing around the room, Dean Jones saw how everyone was laughing and smiling and having a great time and yet…he felt like he didn’t belong.

  No, that wasn’t it; he felt envious.

  And how pathetic was that?

  His baby sister was getting ready to have a baby and was getting married in the morning. She was six years younger than him. He glanced over at his brother Hunter who was two years younger than Dean and already had a kid. Granted, Hunter and his on-again-off-again girlfriend never married, but they had started a family. Kyle was next and wasn’t in any kind of relationship so there wasn’t anything there, but…dammit, Dean felt like his family was passing him by.

  Frowning, he took a pull of his beer and continued to scan the room. He knew everyone here–literally, everyone. True, this was an intimate dinner for thirty, but he knew each and every face here. That came with living in a small town. As he continued to look around, he realized they were all doing things with their lives like getting married and having kids, or for the older couples, they were traveling and enjoying their grandkids. And where was he? Nowhere, with no one and no prospects of there being a someone.

  Yeah, pathetic.

  He caught a glimpse of Courtney from across the room and realized they were the only two people in the room who didn’t look like they were having any fun. Dean knew why he wasn’t, but was curious about why she wasn’t. If there was one thing he knew about Courtney, it was how she liked having a good time. She was usually the life of the party–always loud and boisterous and full of laughter.

  She’s certainly not doing any of those things right now…

  Maybe the fact that she was days away from moving was distracting her, but damn, he wished she didn’t look so sad and alone. He was about to go over and talk to her but quickly decided against it. She never seemed to have a problem laughing and joking with Kyle or even Hunter, but whenever he was around, she usually clammed up.

  Or walked away like she had back out on the deck.

  It was probably because while they were all growing up, he had to be like one of the parents–always watching his younger siblings while his father was at work and making sure no one got into trouble. It was a lot of responsibility on him and he took it seriously.

  Especially when his mother died.

  After that happened, he was even more protective of his family and tried to fill the void of losing their mom.

  So he was the serious brother, the rule enforcer, and…it sucked.

  Before he could think any more about it, the announcement that dinner was being served was called out. He took his place at a table along with his brothers, father, grandfather, and…Courtney.

  Smiling, he held out a chair for her and she softly thanked him. Taking the seat beside her, he thought maybe it was prophetic that she was sitting with them. They could talk and he could try to figure out why she was being so quiet.

  And maybe he’d finally be brave enough to…

  “There you are,” Scarlett said as she came walking over. She grabbed Courtney’s hand a
nd pulled her to her feet. “I want you sitting with me up at the head table. Sam and Shelby are sitting with us too, so…” Then she looked at her brothers and smiled. “Sorry for making this the lone guy table, but…”

  “Or maybe we should call it the lonely guy table,” Kyle joked and Hunter punched him in the arm. “Ow!”

  “No worries, little miss,” their grandfather said, ignoring the spectacles beside him. “Although, I was looking forward to having such a beautiful girl sitting with us.”

  “Oh, stop, Tommy. You rascal,” Courtney said before walking over and planting a loud, smacking kiss on his grandfather’s cheek. “You better save a dance for me tomorrow!”

  “You know it!” he called out and Dean swore the old guy was blushing.

  Before he could even process where Courtney was going, their meals were being served. Conversation around the table flowed and once everyone was done eating, speeches were made by both Scarlett and Mason–thanking everyone for coming and to talk about how excited they both were for the wedding tomorrow. Honestly, Dean was happy for them. Never in a million years did he imagine his sister marrying into one of the wealthiest families in town, but he knew that had little to do with their relationship. Still, he was happy that Scarlett would hopefully never have to struggle again.

  They’d done that enough while growing up.

  He raised his glass with everyone to toast the happy couple, he enjoyed a celebratory cupcake when they were passed around, and was more than a little thankful that the night was coming to an end. Tomorrow would be even longer and, no doubt, more draining, and right now the only thing Dean was looking forward to was going home and enjoying a little peace and quiet before going to sleep.

  Yeah, just call me Mr. Excitement…

  Walking across the room, he wanted a chance to say goodnight to Scarlett and Mason. As he got closer, however, he could see his sister looked upset.

  Again.

  Damn pregnancy hormones. He swore his sister had cried more in the last seven months than she had in her entire life.

  When he was beside her, he carefully asked, “Hey, what’s going on? What are you upset about now?”

  Mason was the one to answer. “Scarlett feels like Courtney had a little too much to drink and is worried about her driving home and…let’s just say things got a little tense.”

  “Dean,” Scarlett began pitifully, “you have to make sure she doesn’t drive! She won’t listen to me and I realize she doesn’t have far to go, but…you have to go after her! She’s probably still in the driveway. It’s a little chaotic even with the hired valet and…”

  “Isn’t she sleeping by you tonight?” he quickly interrupted before she got herself even more worked up. “I thought that was the plan–Courtney was staying with you at your place.”

  “She is, but she’s mad at me and said she’s not staying over!” she sobbed. “How could she do that? She’s my maid of honor and…and…”

  Dean looked at her and then Mason before he nodded. “Okay, okay, don’t worry. I’ll make sure she safely gets to your place.” Then he paused. “Wait, when we say your place, do we mean your old place or your place on the beach–Mason’s place?”

  “The place on the beach is our place,” Scarlett corrected. “But yeah, I mean my old place. We wanted one last night to hang out there like old times, and now she said she changed her mind!”

  And she was crying again.

  “I’ve got this,” he said firmly. Shaking Mason’s hand, he added, “Take care of her and I’ll…I’ll deal with Court.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  With a quick kiss on Scarlett’s cheek, Dean made his way across the room and out to the large entryway while trying to find Courtney. He hadn’t seen her leave, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t stopped to talk to anyone on her way out.

  “You leaving too?” Hunter asked when he spotted him in the foyer.

  “Uh, yeah. Have you seen Courtney?”

  “I think I saw her go out the back door. How come?”

  Dean quickly relayed the situation before excusing himself and walking back through the house. With no other choice, he stepped outside and headed down the to the yard. Several people were still milling around and he scanned the property to try to figure out where she went.

  A lone figure on the pier caught his eye.

  Courtney.

  Her shoulders were hunched and shaking and he knew she was crying. With a muttered curse, he started walking across the yard and down the pier. When he got to her side, he stood there and looked out at the Sound like she was.

  “You want to talk about it?” he quietly asked.

  “Not particularly.”

  Her words were spoken so softly he could barely hear her. Turning his head to look at her, he wasn’t sure what to say.

  “I don’t need a babysitter, Dean,” she said after a minute. “You don’t have to stand here and watch over me. I’m not a kid anymore.”

  Like I haven’t noticed…

  He laughed softly. “Yeah, I got that, Court, but you know you’re not in any condition to drive, so…” And he braced himself for the fight that was sure to come. “Scarlett’s just worried about you. You know that. So why don’t you let me drive you home and we’ll get Kyle or Hunter to bring your car to you, okay?”

  She looked up at him and his mouth went dry. It wasn’t the first time he noticed how beautiful Courtney was–it was something that hit him years ago–but it was the first time he was seeing the vulnerability in her. For once, she wasn’t the sassy, confident girl she presented to the world.

  And he had no idea how to react.

  “I wasn’t going to drive. I know better than that.” She gently swiped her hand over her cheek to wipe away the tears and he wished he had a handkerchief or something to offer her. “I’m more upset because she didn’t need to humiliate me like that in front of everyone. Hell, she could have just offered to let me drive home with her, but instead, she practically shouts it out for everyone that I’ve had four glasses of wine!”

  A small laugh escaped and she shot him an angry glare.

  “Okay, yeah, that was wrong of her, but you know Scarlett’s all over the place right now. We’ve talked about this. So maybe she could have handled it different, but…let’s be honest, Court, you’re possibly making a bigger deal out of it than it was too.”

  And then he held his breath and waited for her to argue with him.

  But she didn’t.

  “Everything’s changing,” she said, her gaze turning back to the water. “There’s a part of me that knows it’s all for the better–Scarlett’s happy, the baby will be here before we all know it, and she’s found this amazing love with Mason.” She paused. “Then there’s me. I’m unemployed, my parents are off chasing ghosts and turning our home into an Airbnb which leaves me homeless come Monday morning, and I’m moving to a city where I literally know no one.” She shook her head. “I didn’t mean to ruin her night.”

  Unable to help himself, Dean put his arm around her and hugged her.

  And she instantly stiffened beside him.

  Trying not to focus on that, he did his best to encourage her. “I know things all seem bleak right now, but you have to believe it’s going to get better. I’ve been hearing you tell everyone how you much you hate living in a small town so…here’s your big chance to find someplace that’s a better fit for you. And…you know you’ll always have a place here. Even if it’s not with your folks, Scarlett would always welcome you home whenever you want.”

  “I know that…”

  “But…?”

  “But…it’s not the same. Everyone’s moving forward and I’m just…I’m not. This whole job thing is making me crazy. I mean why did I have to lose my job now?”

  “To be fair, Dr. Curtis was like a hundred years old. He didn’t exactly instill confidence when you went in for a cleaning.”

  She chuckled. “First of all, he’s only seventy-five, but yeah, he did look a l
ot older.” She sighed. “I just wish he would have sold the practice rather than just closing his doors. He’s been my family dentist since I was a kid–and everyone else’s dentist here in town! How could he just leave like that? It’s like he didn’t even care about all the patients who now have to scramble to find a new dentist or his employees who need to search for new jobs!”

  “I’m sure you’re not going to have any problem finding a new job,” he said, hoping he sounded optimistic. “I thought dental hygienists were always in big demand.”

  “Not in small towns,” she murmured, stepping out of his embrace. Turning around, she faced him, and Dean noticed she didn’t look quite as sad as she had a moment ago. “It’s just another sucky aspect of my life! I was the youngest hygienist in the office–everyone else had been with him since forever! Most of them are retiring! And so here I am with no job and no prospects and I have to move across the state and hope I find something!”

  “So…wait,” he said, holding up a hand to her. “Why are you moving if you don’t have a job yet? Shouldn’t you find the job first and then move?”

  “There are a lot of jobs in the Raleigh area so I figured it would be a safe place to start. I’m going to stay at one of those extended-stay hotels while I job hunt and then I’ll find an apartment. It’s not ideal but with my parents renting out the house to strangers, I had to get creative with what I’m doing.”

  “Wow, Court, I had no idea. I’m really sorry.”

  She shrugged. “Yeah, well…this is my life. Nothing goes my way and no one wants me, so…” She gasped before covering her mouth and turning her back on him.

  No one wants her? What the…? Wait, did she mean her folks or did she mean…?

  For some stupid reason, he needed clarification–knew he’d go crazy if he didn’t know specifically what she was talking about.

  Stepping around her so he was facing her, he asked, “What do you mean no one wants you? That’s crazy! Your parents are just doing their own thing right now. They probably thought it wouldn’t be a big deal to you.”

  Groaning loudly, Courtney spun around and started to walk away. “I’m going to call an Uber. I…I’ll see you tomorrow.”