Tales From the Hood

by Michael Buckley

  “The wolf was snarling and howling. You could tell it was sick because it was foaming at the mouth. You saw a lot of these animals out in the forest back then. I’d learned to steer clear of them. Rabies causes a madness to come over them, and if they bite you it can infect you as well.”

  “What was she doing to the wolf?” Robin asked.

  “It’s still hard to describe, but she was kind of splitting the animal into two pieces,” Hatchett explained.

  “Gross!” Daphne exclaimed.

  “Not physically!” Hatchett said. “The wind seemed to be pulling the madness out of the animal . . . like she was taking the bad stuff out of it. She pulled the wolf’s dark self out of it and it was now its own animal. It was made out of shadows and viciousness. The old woman trapped it in a clay jar and put a stopper on it. Then the wind faded as if it had never been there. Once it was gone, the wolf in the cage was as tame as a golden retriever.”

  “Get to the point!” Puck growled, bearing his wolf fangs. “We don’t care about some regular wolf. When did I show up?”

  “Let him finish, Puck . . . I mean, Wolf,” Uncle Jake said.

  “Back then magic was something people feared, so I begged Tobias to leave. We were getting set to go and get some help when the little girl arrived.”

  “Red Riding Hood?” Robin asked.

  Hatchett nodded. “She came skipping up to the house and knocked on the door. The witch told her to come inside and she did. They hugged and I realized the witch was the child’s grandmother. A moment later, the old woman was helping the child into one of the empty cages and turning her wind machine on. That’s when Tobias decided to act. He was really brave. He didn’t give it a second thought. He just stormed into the house and attacked the witch. I’d never seen anything like it. They fought like animals until Tobias knocked that clay jar out of the witch’s hand. It shattered on the ground and then—well, you wanted to know when the Big Bad Wolf showed up? That’s when it happened.”

  “I’m confused, Howard,” Granny said. “That’s when what happened?”

  “The madness that was inside the wolf wrapped itself around Tobias. It seemed to seep into his pores and a moment later my boss was gone and the Big Bad Wolf was born.”

  “Red’s grandmother created the Big Bad Wolf?” Daphne asked.

  Hatchett nodded. “The witch’s spell transformed him into the monster. After that, Tobias didn’t exist anymore, it was only the Wolf. He was like that for a long time, until fifteen years ago, when I heard he had regained control.”

  Sabrina reached into her pocket and felt the energy of the kazoo. She realized the tiny object had big secrets, more than she had originally suspected.

  “Then what happened to the grandmother?” Puck asked.

  “She fought him as hard as she could. There were so many spells coming out of her, but none seemed to hurt the Wolf. He just kept coming and she was no match for him,” Hatchett said, then looked into Puck’s face. “I mean, she was no match for you. What else can I tell you?”

  “Did you even fight the Wolf?” Daphne asked.

  “No, I hid,” Hatchett whimpered. “After a little while when I was sure the Wolf was gone, I stumbled upon the child. I took her back to her village, but her family was gone. They had deserted her, so I took her to the local sheriff.”

  “And that’s when you made up the story of how you had saved her,” Sabrina said, disgusted.

  “I figured what could it hurt? The child was out of her mind anyway. She would repeat whatever I told her.”

  “You took advantage of a little girl who had just witnessed her grandmother’s murder,” Little John bellowed. “What she saw drove her insane!”

  The thought of having to deal with the huge lawyer, as well as the Wolf, was obviously too much for Hatchett and he broke down into tears.

  “That’s not my fault. She was crazy when she showed up at the house! You could see it in her face. Even the witch was afraid of her.”

  Robin tapped Puck on his huge shoulders. “Let him up.”

  “Aw, c’mon,” Puck said. “I don’t think he even wet his pants.”

  As Hatchett climbed to his feet, Puck’s disguise began to fade. The would-be hero watched with alarm. “What is this?”

  “Sorry, but the hands of justice are unfair in this town,” said Robin. “We’ve had to learn to play dirty, too. What you’ve told us is going to be a great help to our case.”

  Hatchett turned red with anger. “No one will believe you! I’ll lie. I’ll tell them you’re making it up. I’m a hero. They’ll believe me.”

  “I’m sure you’re right,” Robin said as he reached into his jacket pocket. When he removed his hand, he was holding a small tape recorder. “That’s why I brought this.” He pressed the stop button and then rewound it, playing back Hatchett’s confession.

  “I’ll look like a fool! I’ll be ruined!”

  “Mr. Hatchett, you do quite a good job of that all on your own,” Granny said. “You are a charlatan who has lied his way into fame and fortune. If I were you, I’d change my ways, because I know the real Big Bad Wolf, and he’s not as nice as Puck.”

  Hatchett rushed out of the shack.

  “Do you realize what we have here?” Robin said, waving his tape recorder in the air. “We now have proof that Canis didn’t mean to kill the old woman. In fact, we might even be able to argue that the old woman is responsible for all the mayhem the Wolf has created. She literally unleashed the Wolf on the world.”

  “But will it matter?” Sabrina asked.

  t the end of another long day, after Uncle Jake dashed off for a late dinner with Briar Rose, Granny suggested everyone else get some sleep. She was sure tomorrow would be a big day in Mr. Canis’s trial, perhaps even the day their old friend would be freed. The girls and Puck said goodnight to Granny and Elvis and climbed the steps to their bedrooms. The girls said goodnight to Puck at their door. He grunted and kept walking down the hall. Unfortunately, Sabrina was dragged along with him.

  “Oh, I forgot about you,” Puck said, eyeing the handcuffs.

  “What are we supposed to do, fairy boy?” Sabrina cried. “We’re not sleeping in the same bed.”

  “Who cares about that? I’m going to have to go to the bathroom eventually,” Puck mumbled.

  “He could sleep on the floor in our room,” Daphne said.

  “I’m not sleeping on the floor. I’m royalty,” Puck declared as he puffed up his chest. “Sabrina can sleep there.”

  “That’s not going to happen,” Sabrina said.

  Puck huffed and frowned. “Fine, come with me.”

  He led the girls down the hallway to his bedroom. The door was covered in signs: DEATH AWAITS ALL WHO ENTER HERE! and WARNING! FALLING ROCKS! There was also a picture of a kitten, with the words CUTENESS WILL NOT BE SPARED! Puck pushed open the door and impatiently ushered them inside.

  Sabrina had been in Puck’s room before, but it never ceased to amaze her. It wasn’t like any bedroom she had ever seen. The night sky was the roof, the forest ground the floor, and a trickling brook led to a lagoon in the distance. The chirping of crickets and the rustle of woodland animals drifted across the air like a lullaby. The room was magical, and from what Sabrina could tell, endless. Who knew how far the water rolled downstream? If you followed it, would you find an ocean at its end? Sabrina didn’t know, though she wondered about it from time to time.

  Puck dragged the girls down to where the room’s serene beauty came to a dismaying end. There they found a path littered with broken army men and parts from old skateboards and microwaves. Sabrina nearly stepped into dozens of half-eaten birthday cakes.

  They climbed up an embankment, where they found a trampoline. A panda bear was sound asleep on its surface. Puck shooed it away. It staggered off, looking for somewhere else to sleep, barking and growling grumpily with each step.

  Puck helped Daphne onto the trampoline, then Sabrina, and together the girls pulled him up behind them.r />
  “I love it,” Daphne said, jumping up and down and bouncing like a ball.

  “Good to know,” Puck grumbled. “My only concern is making sure the two of you are comfortable. Now, go to sleep and leave me alone.”

  Puck lay down, forcing Sabrina to do the same. She nudged as far away from him as possible, feeling entirely uncomfortable. Daphne nestled between them, her head at the tips of their fingers. The handcuffs forced them to sleep on their backs. It was hard to get comfortable, and each time Sabrina drifted to sleep she felt Puck’s hand drag her hand this way and that. Eventually she decided that despite her best efforts, sleeping was out of the question. Instead, she settled on resting. She closed her eyes and lay still, listening to the bubbling water in the distance.

  “You awake?” Puck asked.

  “Yes,” Sabrina said. Their voices seemed loud in the open air.

  “When are you going to tell her what you did?”

  Sabrina bristled. “Maybe you should mind your own business.”

  Puck laughed. “As if I could around this place. Every time I turn around the two of you are facing down death—monsters, robots, dragons. Saving your butts is a full-time job.”

  His tone made her angrier. “Then why don’t you go back to being a villain? I liked you a lot better when you weren’t trying to save us.”

  “I’ll go back to being a villain if you go back to the way you were,” Puck said.

  “And how was I, Mr. Smarty Pants?”

  “For one, you were honest,” Puck said.

  The words were like a smack in the face and her cheeks grew hot. Who was he to tell her how to be a good person? Wasn’t his name the Trickster King? He’d been treating people like chumps for four thousand years. “You’re one to talk.”

  Puck chuckled. “I am a lot of things, Sabrina—mischievous, mean-spirited, gassy—but they don’t make me a bad person. They make me immature. You, however, are skating very close to the line. You stole from someone who trusted you and then you lied about it.”

  Sabrina wanted to get up and storm away, but she knew the handcuffs wouldn’t let her. She was forced to hear his sermon about good and bad, no matter how ridiculous it sounded.

  “I did what I had to do. Daphne would never have gone to get the weapon. Mr. Canis could eat Granny, Elvis, and half of Ferryport Landing and she would still totally trust him. I’m the only one that sees what he’s becoming.”

  “Who’s arguing with you about that? It’s obvious to most of us that furface is in trouble. I won’t even say you’re wrong about wanting to do something about it.”

  “Then what’s the lecture for?”

  “The lecture’s beause the way you are going about these things kinda stinks. It’s all nice and noble of you to want to do the right thing, even if I do think it’s stupid. But if the only way to make something good happen is to do something bad, then maybe it’s not worth it.”

  Sabrina looked off into the dark forest, not wanting to see Puck’s face.

  “But what do I know? I’m not supposed to be a good person. But you are. You’re Sabrina Grimm and your sister worships you. You’re supposed to be a good role model to her. Don’t you think it’s kind of odd that the Prince of Juvenile Delinquents is teaching you right from wrong?”

  Sabrina mulled over Puck’s words as she lay in the dark. She wondered if he might not be right. She knew she had betrayed her sister, but at the same time she realized that she didn’t really care about Daphne’s opinion. She had been in charge of the two of them ever since their parents disappeared and things had worked out just fine. If she had let Daphne vote on their futures, the two of them would be in a heap of trouble.

  “By the way,” Puck said softly. It had been an hour since he had last spoken and she was startled to hear him still awake. “You don’t need the makeup.”

  Sabrina felt like her face was on fire. He knew about her latenight beauty sessions. And, if she had heard him correctly, he was also admitting that he thought she was pretty. She looked over at him and found he was looking at her.

  “I kinda wish I hadn’t said that,” he said.

  “Me, too,” she replied.

  “Would it help if I said you were a stinky, muck-covered toadface?”

  Sabrina nodded and edged as far away as she could on the trampoline. Puck did the same.

  “Hello!” Uncle Jake’s voice echoed from near the lagoon.

  “We’re here!” Sabrina shouted as she sat up, taking Puck with her. Together they shook Daphne awake.

  “Come on! I found our mysterious Goldilocks again. She’s in Paris.”

  When the children followed their uncle into Mirror’s room, they found Briar Rose sitting on the bed next to their sleeping parents. She barely had time to say hello before an excited Jake flew into an explanation of why he had woken them.

  “As you know, Goldilocks hopped on a flight out of Venice as quickly as possible,” Uncle Jake said as he stood before the mirror. Behind him, the children could see images of Paris. Sabrina marveled at its majestic architecture. The city seemed to be a combination of timeless beauty and modern design. “Whoever that man on the motorcycle was, she’s obviously frightened of him. Luckily, we don’t have to go to all the trouble of tracking her down again. Mirror showed me an exact address. She’s checked into a place called the Hotel Thérèse.”

  “Then we don’t have to go back to the library with that booktossing idiot?” Puck said, as he began to scratch himself at the memory.

  “Not at all. We can go straight to her,” Uncle Jake said.

  “Well, what are we waiting for?” Sabrina asked as she stepped toward the traveler’s chest.

  “Uh, when I said we, I didn’t mean you,” Uncle Jake said.

  “What? Why?” Sabrina asked.

  “You happen to be handcuffed to an Everafter, and as we know, Everafters can’t leave the town. You’re going to have to stay here with Puck and Briar,” Uncle Jake explained.

  Sabrina could have strangled the fairy boy. Especially when he smirked at her. “But I can go?” Daphne asked.

  Uncle Jake nodded. “Yes, but you’ll have to stay close to me. It could be dangerous.” He reached into his pocket and handed the little girl a key. “You want to give it a whirl this time?”

  Daphne looked at it like it was a precious jewel. She repeated the address Uncle Jake told her, then inserted the key. When she turned it, the lid opened, revealing a spiral staircase.

  “I’m so jealous!” Briar said. “I haven’t been to Paris in hundreds of years.”

  “We’ll bring you back a souvenir,” Daphne said.

  Uncle Jake took his girlfriend by the hand. “If I could take you with me—”

  Briar kissed him on the cheek. “Don’t talk to any French girls.”

  Uncle Jake winked at Briar, then turned to Daphne. “Let’s scoot!”

  Sabrina was livid but forced a smile to her face. “Be careful,” she told her sister.

  “I’ll be fine,” the little girl said impatiently, and rolled her eyes.

  A moment later, she and Uncle Jake were gone.

  “He said we could watch them from the magic mirror,” Briar said.

  Mirror’s face appeared in the reflection. “Hello, ladies and gentlemen. What can I show you this evening?”

  “We want to watch Uncle Jake and Daphne in Paris,” Sabrina said.

  “Coming right up,” Mirror replied. “Just say the magic words.”

  “Mirror, Mirror for goodness sake, let me watch Daphne and Uncle Jake.”

  Mirror smiled. “That’s more like it.” His face dissolved and the mirror’s surface revealed a narrow avenue lined with elegant apartment buildings. Each building had a smoky bar, or a cozy restaurant, or a little boutique on its ground level. People were spilling out of all of them, drinking wine and gazing to the heavens. High above, fireworks filled the sky. Streams of blues, greens, reds, and whites shot across the horizon, then fizzled before the next round. In the dista
nce, an enormous steel tower hovered above it all. It was illuminated by thousands of little lights, and at its top a beacon flashed a brilliant spotlight three hundred and sixty degrees.

  Sabrina turned to Briar to gauge her reaction. The woman was awestruck. “That’s the Eiffel Tower,” she said. “It’s amazing.”

  Sabrina suddenly realized what Briar must feel. She had been trapped for more than two hundred years in a little town. Now, all at once, she could see the outside world so vividly it seemed real. Paris was a place, Sabrina suspected, Briar never expected to see again.

  Uncle Jake and Daphne stepped out of a doorway and gaped at their surroundings. They stood still for a moment in awe of the city.

  “There she is!” Briar said, pointing at a woman walking down the street. Sabrina searched the crowd. It was indeed Goldilocks, their elusive savior. She was grinning from ear to ear, obviously enjoying the sights and sounds of the city of lights.

  “She’s there, Jake!” Briar cried.

  “Sorry, he can’t hear you,” Sabrina said. “It doesn’t work like that.”

  “How frustrating,” Briar complained.

  Luckily, Uncle Jake seemed to spot Goldilocks as well, and they watched him and Daphne follow the woman down the street.

  “I’m not sure how she’s going to react,” Puck said. “If they asked me to come back here I don’t think I would. They’d have to stuff me in a sack and drag me back against my will.”

  Sabrina was unnerved by Puck’s words. She had never once thought that Goldilocks might not want to come back to Ferryport Landing, but the more it spun around in her head, the more troubling the idea became. Why would she want to come back? The town was controlled by the Scarlet Hand. She would be trapped inside the barrier again. Her true love was married with children, and from a letter of Goldilocks’s that Sabrina had read, the woman seemed to believe she was responsible for the death of their grandfather, Basil Grimm. If the roles were switched, would Sabrina return? She realized the answer was no. An army couldn’t drag her back to this horrible little place. What would they do if Goldilocks refused?