A Fallow Heart

by Linda Kage

  She opened her mouth against his and urged the kiss deeper, drawing him into oblivion. He tumbled with her, his mouth coaxed into participating as he sipped from her joy. When he finally pulled back, it took him a moment to open his eyes. His brows rose a full second before his lashes did. When he looked at her, the shock on his face made her laugh.

  “Wow. That was…that was…not how I was expecting to spend my afternoon,” he admitted.

  Giddy pleasure spread through her. She liked surprising him, liked placing that adorable awed and dazed look on his face. She liked how feminine and sexy he made her feel. Alive with vivacity and glad she no longer felt guilty about hurting him this morning, she rested her cheek on his shoulder and hugged him tight, unable to keep her hands off him. Tucked between the driver’s seat and the steering wheel right along with him, she pressed so close her toes curled with satisfaction. “Can I see you again?”

  “Jesus,” he whispered, sounding almost scared. “This is a dream. I’m going to wake up now, aren’t I?”

  She lifted her face and rolled her eyes at his horrified expression. Pinching his bicep, she announced, “Not a dream. So…can I see you again or not?”

  He swallowed audibly, and then bobbed his head. “Yes. Hell, yes. You can see me again.”

  “When?’ she prodded, hushing her voice as she lifted on her toes and drew his face closer to hers.

  His lashes fluttered as he tipped his head enough to meet his lips with hers. “Whenever you want. Tonight.”

  “Tonight,” she agreed, then wrapped her arms around him and kissed him breathless.

  “Or you could just stay until then,” he coaxed, talking against her mouth. “Keep me company while I tinker on this old thing. Then maybe I could show you what the hayloft looks like in the daylight.”

  Without letting her answer, he fused them back together, kissing her long and lazily, making her body stir to life.

  Euphoric about seeing him again later and aroused from even hearing the word hayloft, she whimpered. It took her quite the effort to force herself to pull back. “I can’t stay the whole day. I’m sorry, I promised my sister-in-law I’d stop by this afternoon and visit her and Grady before I leave town. I was actually on my way there when I passed your place and decided to drop in to say hi.”

  He studied her before his lips tipped up in a grin. “Well, feel free to drop in and say hi anytime.” He lightly traced her face with the tips of his fingers. “I think I could become addicted to the way you say hi.”

  Jo Ellen glowed. As Cooper took her hand and walked her back to her car, they laced their fingers together in such a sweet, platonic way, she blushed when she thought of their saucy, totally non-platonic make out session in his combine.

  A giggle crawled up her throat. She couldn’t believe she wanted to giggle. Jo Ellen Rawlings hadn’t giggled since she was a schoolgirl, probably since she’d gotten pregnant at eighteen and suffered a devastating miscarriage. But Cooper Gerhardt made her giggly.

  He kissed her at the driver’s side door of her car, which had her smile stretching wider.

  “Tonight,” he promised, brushing his forehead against hers as he toyed with her fingers as if he was loath to let go of her quite yet.

  She bit her lip. “Tonight.”

  “Let’s make it a true rendezvous.” A conspiring gleam glittered from his whiskey gaze. “Why don’t you meet me at midnight at the end of the lane? I know just the spot to take you.”

  Though her cheeks heated from the sensual assault his words take you had on her, she narrowed her eyes, trying to look suspicious. A second later, she giggled and agreed, “Okay.”

  He pressed another soft kiss to her mouth before letting go of her hand, making contact with every inch of her fingers before they finally broke contact. When he turned and started away, she panicked.

  Unable to leave him just yet, she said his name on a hushed question. “Cooper?”

  When he turned back, her heart surged up into her throat, momentarily rendering her speechless. Instinctively, she knew he’d always answer whenever she called to him. That knowledge was comforting as much as it was overwhelming.

  He arched a curious eyebrow, reminding her she’d initiated this.

  “I have a confession,” she blurted out the first thing that sprang to her mind.

  He took a curious step toward her and paused. “Okay.”

  Jo Ellen licked her lips. “Uh…y-yesterday, when I first got here, I saw you…through the window. I spied on you as you took your shirt off and rinsed away the sweat under the well water faucet.”

  Cooper stared at her. Then he grinned and leaned in closer, murmuring her name just as she had his a few moments before. “Jo Ellen?”

  She bit her lip. “Yes?”

  He winked. “I saw your car when I pulled up. Why do you think I took my shirt off?”

  Heaving in a huge breath, she flushed. From the glitter in his gaze and after what they’d just done in the combine, she found herself aroused, ready, and eager for him. Impatient for midnight.

  What in God’s name was wrong with her?

  Stamping another quick kiss to her lips, he opened her car door and helped her slide behind the wheel. After he put her inside, he tapped the glass in farewell, and took a step back. She smiled at him through the window and started her car.

  When she pulled away and glanced into her rearview mirror, he continued to stand where she’d left him, staring after her. A lump formed in her chest. Dear Lord, she wanted to wheel back around and return to him.

  This was so not a good sign. It was already happening. She was letting herself slip. She just hoped landing wouldn’t shatter her as badly as getting involved with Travis had.

  Chapter Seventeen

  As Jo Ellen pulled to a stop in front of her brother’s house, she wiped all Cooper-related worries from her head, pushing them into the back recesses of her brain, refusing to even think on them. Patting out the wrinkles in her skirt, she flushed when she found a smear of dirt on her hip. She batted it away as she hurried to the front porch.

  The main entrance opened before she reached it, and Grady’s wife, Amy, flew outside, her arms open wide.

  “There you are! We were wondering when you’d get here.”

  Amy wrapped her in an encompassing hug, and Jo Ellen focused on her sister-in-law, relieved she looked so well.

  The last time she’d seen Amy, Amy had just suffered a miscarriage. She’d been pale and drawn inside herself, refusing to acknowledge—much less smile at—anyone. It was good to see her finally recovered.

  She chattered like the old Amy as she led Jo Ellen into the new house Grady had built for her only a few years before.

  “…Thought you’d forget about us dull country folk now that you’re a thriving city girl with her own business.”

  Jo Ellen forced herself to focus on the conversation and forget about a pair of whisky-colored eyes and corn silk hair that kept invading her thoughts. “Oh, whatever. Like I could ever forget you guys.”

  Grady appeared then, coming through the doorway of the living room as he exited a hall. He paused when he saw her. She drew in a silent breath as she studied his face. Though she talked to him on the phone at least once a month, she hadn’t seen him face to face since she’d last seen Amy.

  He looked changed. Where his wife had fully recovered from her crisis, Grady appeared harder, worn down, exhausted.

  “Hey, brother.” She could probably count on one hand the number of times she’d hugged him, but she sensed he needed one now, so she went to him, arms open. He treated her to a faint smile before pulling her close and holding her tight.

  “Hey, brat,” he murmured lovingly before letting go.

  “Brat?” She scowled, insulted. “I thought Emma Leigh was Brat. I’m Princess, remember?”

  “No. You’re both Brat to me.” Then his grin stretched broad as he reached out to tousle her hair.

  “I made some lemon bars,” Amy announced, breaking
in between brother and sister to latch an arm around both Jo Ellen’s and Grady’s elbows. “Let’s go to the kitchen and try them out.”

  Jo Ellen clutched her stomach and held in a cringe. All this country hospitality was going to force her to work out triple time in the gym once she returned to Dallas. Everywhere she went, people only wanted to stuff food down her. But she didn’t complain, just followed her brother and his wife into the back and seated herself across from them at the table.

  “So, what’ve you guys been up to?” She asked five minutes later as she licked a dribble of iced frosting off her pinkie. When Grady and Amy paused to shift each other a look, she froze. “What? Oh no, are you okay?” Dread settled like a led pipe in her abdomen.

  She knew the doctor had told them Amy couldn’t have any more children after her last miscarriage, but what if it was worse than that? What if she had cancer or—

  Her sister-in-law beamed. “Yes, we’re both fine. Better than fine.” Then she threw her head back and laughed before covering her stomach. “I’m pregnant.”

  Jo Ellen blinked, then frowned, thinking she’d misheard them.

  When she glanced toward her brother, he shrugged, not quite as ecstatic as his wife. “We decided to tell you first since you…helped us out so much the last time.”

  Her mouth moved, but it took Jo Ellen a moment to sputter, “Oh my God.” Then the realization hit her. “Oh my God, congratulations!”

  She sprang to her feet and rounded the table. Amy met her so they could hug and dance around the kitchen. Though jealously nipped at her—everyone and their dog seemed to be popping out babies these days…everyone but her—she ignored the envious burn and rubbed her sister-in-law’s still flat belly before hugging her again.

  “And here I thought your doctor said you couldn’t get pregnant again.”

  Still sitting in his chair resting his chin in his clasped hands, Grady spoke up. “Doc said she shouldn’t get pregnant, not that she couldn’t.”

  Jo Ellen slid a worried glance from Grady to Amy and back to Grady.

  But Amy waved a dismissive hand in her husband’s direction. “Oh, don’t listen to the party pooper. This is good news. Great news! I am so excited.”

  “Well, then I’m excited too,” Jo Ellen agreed. “How far along are you?”

  “Three months. Grady wanted to wait until the biggest chance of miscarriage passed before telling anyone. But I’ve already made—oh! Since you’re here, I’ll just show you. I taught myself how to make booties. They’re adorable. Wait here. I’ll go fetch them.”

  As she flew from the room and all her excitement and enthusiasm left with her, Jo Ellen focused on her brother.

  Plopping into the seat beside him, she patted his shoulder and forced a smile. “Well, is this family turning into a baby-making factory or what? Pretty soon, Caine is going to show up with a couple of kids in tow and then where will we be?”

  Grady glanced at her, but didn’t smile. Deep grooves creased his face.

  She frowned and nudged his arm again. “What is wrong with you? After years of bossing me around, you’re finally getting your own child to boss around.”

  He shook his head and closed his eyes. “The doctor really is not keen on the idea of her having this baby.”

  Jo Ellen sobered. “Is she in danger?”

  He opened his lashes and met her gaze before slowly shaking his head. “Doc’s more worried about her not being able to carry it to full term but…I have a bad feeling. You saw what happened to her last time. I don’t want her getting her hopes up again, only to lose this baby like we did last time. I don’t…I just don’t think she could handle it.”

  When he sighed and rubbed his forehead, Jo Ellen drew in a deep breath. “What’re the chances it’ll survive?”

  Grady shrugged, then winced. “They can’t be good if Doc is already worried. He’s got her on a strict diet and prohibiting her from any heavy lifting. He’s insinuated she’ll go on bed rest in another couple of months.”

  Though Jo Ellen bit the inside of her lip with worry, she squeezed her brother’s arm reassuringly. “Well, excited as that little mama is, I think she’ll do everything the doctor tells her to do. She wants this baby, Grady.”

  “I know. It’s just...” Suddenly, he reached out and grabbed her hand, gripping her fingers hard. “You’d come back, wouldn’t you? If things don’t…if she needs you again like she did the last time, you’d come back to be with her, right? Because I can’t…I can’t reach her when she’s in that place.”

  Jo Ellen’s heart went out to him, wishing she could do more than what he asked, wishing she could keep his baby strong and healthy and alive for him. After she studied him intently, she turned her fingers under his to squeeze his trembling hand. “Of course I would, Grady. But what happened to her last time isn’t going to happen again. Have a little faith, okay.”

  Like Cooper had said at the hospital, whenever you didn’t have any control over a situation, you just had to hope for the best and try not to worry about the worst.

  His shoulders wilted with relief and he nodded just as Amy breezed back into the room.

  “What do you think? Am I a natural or what?”

  When she flashed the booties, Jo Ellen immediately made the appropriate noises. “Oh, how adorable. Amy, these are amazing.”

  Jo Ellen oohed and awed while Grady rolled his eyes.

  “I don’t know what she’s going to do with all those pink booties when it comes out a boy,” he grumbled, finally falling into the spirit of things. He grinned at his wife, but Jo Ellen noticed something strange in his eyes, desperation, as if he frantically searched for the woman he’d married and fallen in love with.

  “She wouldn’t dare be a boy,” Amy reprimanded as she puffed the lace on a delicate pink bootie.

  Jo Ellen realized then as she watched them, not only had Amy suffered emotionally after their last miscarriage, but their marriage had suffered too. It broke her heart to see her brother look so lost and afraid.

  Puckering out her lip as if pouting, Amy added, “I want a little girl to dress up and that’s that.”

  “It’s going to be a child, not a play doll,” Grady teased.

  As Jo Ellen watched the two banter back and forth, she thought of Cooper. For some reason, she couldn’t wait to see him tonight so she could unload her new worries—her sister-in-law’s health, her brother’s marriage, their unborn baby’s chances of survival.

  Cooper would listen. He’d understand. And then he’d make her feel better.

  Chapter Eighteen

  So, where are we going?”

  As Cooper met Jo Ellen at her parked car where she’d agreed to meet him at the end of his driveway, he took her hand in the dark. “You’ll see.”

  When he broke into a light jog, she laughed. “Why are we running?”

  “Because…” He tightened his grip on her hand and kept his pace. “It’s fun.”

  Jo Ellen rolled her eyes but chased it with a grin, adoring his enthusiasm as she tried to keep up. “Is it very far away?” she panted.

  “Just around this bend here.”

  She followed curiously as they passed a row of wind-block evergreens. Once he led her around the tree line, she found herself in a path between more trees, different trees.

  “Oh,” she breathed out in delighted surprise, glad he’d slowed them enough to finally walk. “I had no idea you had an orchard on your property.”

  “My dad planted it for my mom the year they married.”

  She reached up and touched a leaf, trying to squint through the dark. “What kind of trees are these?”

  “Pecan. I guess the first pie my dad ever tasted of my mom’s cooking was pecan. He took one bite at some church function and declared her the best cook ever. He always told me the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

  Jo Ellen smiled. “That’s sweet.”

  “Yeah,” he muttered, his voice bitter enough to make her glance at him.<
br />
  But he didn’t return the look. He squeezed her fingers and crossed between a pair of pecan trees to lead her down another row where she finally caught sight of a faint glow ahead, flickering from the ground.

  She focused on the light. As they moved closer, she realized it was his lantern from the night before, already set out and resting atop his sleeping bag he’d spread open. But what charmed her most was the wicker picnic basket sitting beside the lamp.

  “A picnic?”

  He shrugged, looking bashful.

  Lips tipping up, she had to tease. “So, are you trying to find out if the way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach as well?”

  He laughed, and then kissed her cheek before whispering in her ear. “Maybe.”

  A thrill shot through her. Maybe. Oh God, she hoped so. And yet she didn’t. As dangerous as the thought was, she wanted to start a relationship with him…she just wanted it to work and last.

  As they approached, he stepped over something in the grass. Jo Ellen glanced down to find a rope. Realizing it circled the entire blanket he had laid out, she burrowed her brow. “What’s with the rope?”

  She expected—or maybe just hoped—to hear another romantic tale about how she’d roped his heart, but he shrugged. “That’s just to keep the snakes away.”

  She stopped dead in her tracks, all thoughts of romance gone. “Snakes?”

  Immediately, names of some of Texas’s most deadly serpents tumbled through her brain. Rattlesnake, cottonmouth, moccasin, copperhead, coral—

  “It’s just an old wives’ tale,” Cooper explained. “But I’ve heard laying a rope around a campfire will keep them away, so I’ve always done it when camping. And I’ve yet to wake up bedded down with a rattler.”

  “Well, let’s make sure to keep this rope undisturbed then.” Jo Ellen carefully stepped over it, making Cooper chuckle.

  “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I won’t let anything get to you.” He pointed out a flat spot on the sleeping bag for her to sit.

  Trying not to imagine any creepy crawlers nearby, she eased down, and relaxed when the cushiony Bermuda grass under the blanket crinkled in greeting. The scent of citronella tickled her nose.