A Fallow Heart

by Linda Kage

  As her heart pounded a little harder, Jo Ellen’s emotions softened to mush. It was official; Cooper Gerhardt thought of everything, even a way to keep the mosquitoes and snakes at bay. Eager to receive his next considerate gesture, she crossed her legs, situating herself, and watched expectantly as he opened the basket’s lid before digging around inside and extracting two plastic baggies.

  “It’s not much, mostly just leftovers I could scrounge up at the last minute. But let me tell you, nothing beats a cold meatloaf sandwich in a pecan grove at midnight.”

  She shook her head, unable to stop smiling because she felt so undeniably happy. “Only you could make leftovers sound romantic.”

  “What? They are romantic.” He sent her a lop-sided grin before handing over a wrapped sandwich.

  She laughed again and eagerly accepted her midnight rendezvous snack. As he tore into his, she followed suit.

  “Mmm, yum. This is excellent. I’m going to have to beg the recipe off Loren.”

  He chewed and swallowed before answering. “Thanks, but I put saltines in the meatloaf instead of bread crumbs like her recipe said to do.”

  She paused and covered her full mouth to ask, “Wait, you made this?”

  “Sure.” He arched his brows. “You don’t think I simply free load off my mother and make her do all the house work and cooking around there, do you?”

  “Free load?” Her eyes grew large. “Cooper, you moved in with her to keep her farm together. I’d say you’re about as far removed from free loading as a man can get.”

  A thoughtful moment later, he responded. “I still don’t feel as if I’m doing enough. I’m just not Thaddeus Gerhardt. He was such an amazing man.” With a hiss, he closed his eyes and quickly revised. “I mean is. He is an amazing man.”

  She watched him swallow hard on his sandwich then rustle around in his basket before drawing up two bottles of water. Handing her one, he lifted his brows. “Water was your preference as I recall.”

  She smiled wistfully and accepted one. But as she watched him crack open his bottle and drain half the contents, she couldn’t help but see the misery on his face. “He’s in bad shape, isn’t he?”

  Cooper let out a sigh after he swallowed. He stared at his water, then winced. “Yeah. They think he had a stroke at some point, which paralyzed half his face. So he can’t even talk or communicate with anyone anymore. Whenever I go visit him, he just walks the halls of the nursing home. Doesn’t even pause when he sees me. He has no clue who I am. It’s, uh…it’s been a while since he’s looked at me with any kind of recognition.”

  Heart breaking, Jo Ellen reached out and stroked his arm. “I’m so sorry.”

  “What’s worse, he’d be utterly horrified if he could see himself now, if he knew what he’d become. He’d ask me to put him down. I know he would. I can still remember what he told me once. If a Holstein ain’t producing milk and doesn’t calve like it should, it’s turning into hamburger, Cooper. No use having it around if it can’t pull its weight. That was his life creed. Everything should have a useful purpose. He would hate being useless.”

  When he fell silent, Jo Ellen let him reflect on his thoughts. She didn’t think she could come up with anything brilliant enough to say to take his pain away, so she rubbed his arm and hoped her supportive presence was enough.

  After a while, he forced a smile and touched her hand, silently letting her know he appreciated her efforts. “So, you saw Grady today, huh? How’s he getting along?”

  Remembering how much she’d wanted to share her thoughts and feelings about her brother, she gasped. “I forgot to tell you. He and Amy are pregnant.”

  “Really? Again?” Cooper’s eyebrows perked up in surprise. “I thought after her last run, Doc said she couldn’t have anymore.”

  “He said she shouldn’t,” Jo Ellen repeated her brother’s words.

  Cooper let out a low whistle of understanding. “Bet that has the soon-to-be-papa in quite the ruckus.”

  Jo Ellen blinked, amazed by his accurate guess. “How’d you know?”

  He shrugged and moved his attention to the open basket to pull out a Tupperware container and a bag of pretzel sticks. “He’s the type who likes to be in control of his own destiny. And with Amy’s precarious condition so out of his control, he’s probably frustrated and worried and scared as all get out right now.”

  After removing the lid from the tub, he tilted it to show her the strawberries inside with the leaves already plucked off lying among a pile of grapes. After silently offering Jo Ellen her choice of pretzel or fruit, he handed over the strawberries and grapes when she pointed.

  She popped a strawberry into her mouth and chewed, eyeing him thoughtfully. “You have to be one of the most intuitive people I know. I think that’s exactly what Grady’s feeling.”

  Again, he shrugged off her praise. “Just seemed logical.”

  “Hmm.” She ate a grape this time, enjoying the mixture of the two fruits as their flavor burst across her tongue. After screwing off the cap of her water, she took a sip and returned her attention to the man beside her.

  He’d opened the bag of pretzels, and as he munched on a handful, he placed more on the smoothed blanket’s surface between them, lining them precisely. Frowning, she studied the design he made. He constructed a perfect square out of four sticks, then placed two more jutting out each corner, creating the number symbol.

  When he finished, he grinned up at her. “Want to play tic-tac-toe?”

  Her gaze fell back to the pretzels, suddenly realizing what he’d just drawn. But she couldn’t decide if she was tickled by his offer or disappointed.

  He obviously didn’t want to dive right into sex, which meant he was interested in more than just her body. Which should be a plus. Then again, he didn’t want to dive right into sex. What man wouldn’t want sex first thing? Did she just not appeal to him enough or what?

  Deciding not to over think it, she shook her head. “Not with nine spaces, I don’t.”

  He looked up, startled. “But—”

  “Nine-space tic-tac-toe is no fun. The first person to take a turn always wins.”

  He rolled his eyes and argued, “Only if that person chooses the middle square.”

  “What idiot wouldn’t choose the middle square?” she wondered, perplexed.

  Cooper grinned and shook his head. “You know, I’d let you go first, right? Ladies always go first.”

  With a sniff, she straightened her spine. “Well, I don’t want to win a game by default just because I’m a girl.” Plunging her hand into the bag, she retrieved a handful and placed more pretzel sticks down to make it sixteen-space tic-tac-toe. “There. Now…let’s play. You said I could go first, right?” Before he could answer, she took a grape and set it in a corner square. “I’ll be grapes. You can be strawberries.”

  Cooper scratched his head as he studied the faux tic-tac-toe board she had revised. “Well, I’ll be. I never thought to add another line to each side. This might actually be a challenge.” He grinned at her. “You’re a genius, Jo Ellen.”

  She flushed. “Actually, it was Emma Leigh’s idea. She always got bored in church when we were little.”

  He chuckled and set a strawberry in the space next to her grape. “Sounds like Em. Though I do have to wonder, can anyone actually win at sixteen-space tic-tac-toe?”

  Jo Ellen shrugged. “Neither Emma Leigh nor I ever won.” Her grin grew saucy. “But you never know. Maybe I’ll get lucky and you’ll end up being an awful tic-tac-toe competitor.”

  He snorted. “Keep dreaming, princess.” He set down a strawberry about as soon as she strategically placed her second grape.

  She frowned thoughtfully and made her next move.

  “What?” he asked, lifting his attention from the game when she didn’t spit back an immediate rejoinder. “Why are you frowning?”

  “Hmm?” She glanced up. “Oh. It’s just…you called me princess.”

  His grin faltered, and he i
mmediately apologized. “I’m sorry. I used to hear Em call you that so often it became ingrained in my head. She made it sound like a term of endearment, so…honestly, I didn’t mean any offense.”

  She waved her hand, silencing him. “You didn’t offend me. It’s fine. I mean, yeah, at first it irritated me. But after a while, Emma Leigh said it enough it began to grow on me too. But it’s been so long since anyone called me that. Not since…” Her face fell as she realized exactly when she’d last been called princess.

  “Not since the miscarriage?” Cooper guessed quietly.

  Her eyes lifted. “Yes. No wonder Em stopped; Tainted ol’ me no longer deserved the name.”

  “That is not true,” Cooper growled his objection.

  Still, a maudlin depression enveloped her. Her shoulders collapsed. “So much changed after that.”

  He studied her, looking conflicted and worried as if he wanted to say something to brighten her mood. But just as she hadn’t known what to say about his dad, he remained mute about this.

  She opened her mouth to apologize for making him uncomfortable but rustling from behind her made her jump. With a squeak of alarm, she whirled to squint into the dark shadows.

  She saw nothing.

  “What do you suppose that was?” Her hushed voice quivered, remembering the rope on the ground circling their blanket and praying it did its job.

  “Probably just a jackrabbit. They run as thick as thieves in this orchard.”

  Jo Ellen nodded but couldn’t take her gaze from the darkness. A shiver passed up her spine. Snakes weren’t the only thing to worry about. Wild boar seemed to multiply by the year in Tommy Creek. What if a pack of feral hogs were out there, watching, waiting—

  She gasped when Cooper nudged her arm. “Your turn.”

  “What?” she jerked around to gape at him.

  He grinned and pointed at the tic-tac-toe game. “It’s your turn. Princess.”

  “Oh.” She looked down though her mind was still occupied with visions of slithering creatures, their forked tongue flickering as they approached the edge of the rope to watch her from diamond-slitted eyes. After picking up a grape, she began to plant it in a distracted manner when she realized one of the grapes she’d already put in a pretzel square was missing.

  “My grape—” She pointed to the empty space as she lifted her head, but promptly frowned when her gaze focused on Cooper’s mouth. When she found his cheek pooched out as he chewed, a mischievous glimmer twinkling from his pale whiskey eyes, she gasped. “Are you eating my tic-tac-toe grape?”

  He boldly picked up another grape from the game. “Yep,” he confessed and promptly popped the second ball of fruit into his mouth to join the first.

  Jo Ellen’s mouth fell open. “Cooper Thaddeus Gerhardt, how dare you?”

  He chuckled as he chewed. “What? I was hungry.”

  “There is a container full of grapes right there. Sake’s alive. You didn’t have to steal mine. Besides, why didn’t you eat your own strawberries off the board?”

  “Because…your grapes taste better.” He caught her wrist to lift her hand still holding a grape between her fingers. He carried her digits to his lips and plucked the grape from her grasp with his teeth. “Mmm. Delicious.”

  Mesmerized, she watched his mouth work, her tummy going tight and fluttery. When oxygen caught in her throat, she swallowed, unable to take her entranced gaze off him.

  He smiled a slow, devastating kind of smile spreading to his full, sensual lips. “Is your attention successfully diverted yet?”

  “Diverted?” She repeated as if she had no idea what the word meant. “Diverted from what?”

  “Whatever that spooky little noise was that scared the bejesus out of you.”

  Her insides melted. So, he’d been trying to take her mind off her sudden fear, huh? How sweet.

  In that moment, Jo Ellen fell irreversibly and completely in love with the man sitting cross-legged on the ground beside her. Consequences be damned. He was hers.

  “Consider my attention successfully diverted.” Unable to help herself, she dived at him, kissing him hard and fast, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him as close to her heart as she could get him.

  He groaned and caught her solidly to his chest. His arms banded around her, as his hands smoothed up the backs of her legs. When he came to the hem of her shorts, he paused. “I see you’ve changed out of that sinfully delightful skirt you were wearing earlier.”

  She kissed the side of his neck, fascinated by the taste of his salty skin. “Mmm. I wanted you to have to work a little this time before making it into my pants.”

  He chuckled and immediately began to pull the shorts down. “Challenge accepted.”

  Once she kicked off the garment and it landed half in the open picnic basket, half out, he tugged her back into his lap. Then he fell backward onto his spine, taking her with him so she tumbled across his chest. She landed on top of him, her thighs naturally straddling his lap.

  When she gasped her surprise, he froze, his expression tightening with worry. “God, I’m sorry. Do you not like this position?”

  When he started to sit up as if to reverse their roles with him on top, she set her hand on his chest, stopping him. “No. I just…I have no idea if I like it or not. I’ve never…” She bit her lip when she met his gaze. “You really don’t mind if we try it this way?”

  He gawked at her before he threw his head back and roared with laughter. “Are you kidding me?” Then he cleared his throat and tried to settle himself. “Well, let me think here. You’re asking if I’d mind lying back and doing nothing whatsoever while I watch your breasts bounce up and down as you rock my world. Hmm. Let’s contemplate this. No, you’re right. That would be…awful.”

  When he teased her, saying it that way, she realized how silly her question sounded. Jo Ellen flushed and pinched his shoulder. “You just gotta be a comedian about it, don’t you?” Even though she grumbled the words, her body ignited with anticipation.

  She was going to get to feel what being on top was like. Travis had never wanted her on top. He’d always wanted total control. In fact, he had hated it when she tried touching him while they were in the midst of the act. And if a moan slipped out, he was utterly disgusted.

  But with Cooper’s bantering and that aroused gleam lighting his gaze, she had to wonder if he’d let her caress his taut, golden flesh however she desired, whenever and wherever she pleased. Would he mind if any noises escaped her?

  She had a feeling he wouldn’t.

  Empowered, curious and eager to uncover some answers, she ran her hands up his chest and taunted, “Well, maybe I’ll face away from you while I ride you so you can’t see my breasts bounce. What then, smarty pants?”

  Instead of letting on a fake pout as she assumed he would, Cooper gulped, his gaze brightening with interest. Warm hands slipping around her waist, he cupped her bottom with both palms and squeezed her cheeks lightly through her cotton underwear. “Then I get to watch this sweet little tush move up and down on my—”

  Her mouth falling open with shock, Jo Ellen slapped her hand over his mouth. Above her fingers, his eyes heated and he kissed the insides of her palm.

  Heat speared through her. She swallowed, rattled by the powerful sensation. “My God. You really don’t mind if I’m on top at all, do you?”

  This time, his laugh was incredulous. Grasping her fingers, he removed them gently from his mouth. “Of course I don’t mind. Why would I mind?”

  She shook her head, suddenly unable to come up with a good answer without bringing Travis Untermeyer into the conversation, which she refused to do.

  His gaze softened as if he understood. “Jo Ellen.” His fingers grazed through her hair in the softest caress. “As long as you’re doing it with me, I won’t mind anything you want to try. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee you I’ll love it.”

  She pulled in a heavy breath when he continued to hold her stare. “Well…” She ex
haled. “In that case, I want to strip off all your clothes, one piece at a time so I can see every inch of you revealed slowly and thoroughly. Then, I want to explore you, touch and lick each little thing I deem interesting. When you can’t take any more of that without begging for mercy, I want to climb onto your lap, take you into my body, and ride you both backward and forward until you make us explode like you did last night. And I want you to lay there without stopping me, letting me do it all without a word of complaint.” She cocked her eyebrow, challenging him. “What do you think of that plan, farm boy?”

  His mouth moved, yet only a croak escaped. After a second attempt, he licked his lips and rasped, “I think I just came.”

  * * * *

  “What’re you thinking?”

  Cooper opened his eyes as Jo Ellen asked the question; he gave a loose grin, glad she cared to know. Tucked up against him with her back to his chest and her bottom snuggled tight against his lap, she rested her head on his bicep as she idly drew patterns along his arm. He loved every second of her touch.

  “Mmm,” was his initial, muffled response before he lifted his face from her shoulder and licked his lips to wet them. “I’m thinking I have to dedicate this spot to you. It will now and forever more be called Jo Ellen’s orchard. I may even spray paint your name on a tree with John Deere green.”

  Instead of smiling and thanking him, she twisted her neck around to send him a frown. “But I thought this was your mom and dad’s special place?”

  He gave a snort. “Yeah, real special.”

  Immediately Jo Ellen sat up and whirled to face him completely. “Okay, that’s it,” she said, positioning herself to sit Indian style as if ready for a long heart-to-heart. “What in the world is going on between you and your mother?”

  With a groan, he flopped onto his back and consulted the dark sky. He didn’t want to talk about that. “That’s another discussion for another time.”

  “No. I want to know what happened. You love your mother, Cooper. I have never seen a guy so dedicated—”