Placing my hand on the door, I quickly remind myself to keep my eyes trained straight in front of me. No straying to the left or right. No seeking Cole out. Just as I’m about to open the doors, someone reaches around, pulling the handle for me. I can feel the heat of their body directly behind me. Startled, my head whips around as my eyes collide with his golden whiskey colored ones.
“Cole,” I breathe softly as a tiny tingle of pleasure careens unexpectedly through me.
“Hi, Cassidy.” His murmured words match mine in softness. His beautiful eyes hold mine for just a heartbeat. Before I’m able to even inhale a breath, the moment is over and I realize that other students are starting to pile up behind us.
He holds the door open as I continue staring up at him like some lovesick puppy dog. I seriously can’t help but drink him in. My fingers itch to plow their way through those tousled locks of his. Instead of doing that, I tighten my hand into a fist so that I won’t be tempted to reach out and touch him like I so desperately want to.
God but I’ve missed him.
It’s almost painful to gaze into those beautiful golden eyes of his. Did I ever realize just how mesmerizing they were in their intensity? For just a moment it feels as if I’m drowning in them.
Shaking myself out of the rather embarrassing trance that has fallen over me, I finally step through the door he’s holding open.
Clearing my suddenly dry throat, I finally whisper, “Thank you.”
His eyes continue holding mine before he replies, “No problem.”
As I walk down the thinly carpeted steps, I feel his big body moving behind me. Hope flares to life within me and I can’t help but wonder if he’ll sit next to me today. Have we somehow turned a corner in our practically nonexistent relationship?
I wish I had the courage to ask these questions, but I don’t.
“Cassidy?”
Spinning around, I find him standing on the step right above me. It’s also the same row that Sammy, his cousin, is parked in. Our eyes lock and hold before he finally says, “If you’re not busy, do you want to grab some lunch this afternoon?”
A huge smile fights to break out across my face, but I keep it contained. Even though it feels like we’re moving in the right direction, him asking me out for lunch doesn’t necessarily mean anything.
Allowing the corners of my lips to curve up, I cautiously say, “I’d really like that.”
A small smile tips the edges of his lips in return but it’s by no means a full blown smile. One that has those gorgeous dimples of his peeking out and I miss them. Aw hell, who am I kidding? I miss Cole. I miss everything about him.
And I want him back.
“Great. Want to meet at the Union around one?”
My heart is thumping so hard, I wonder if he can hear it. “Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll see you there.”
He nods before slipping into the row with his cousin. Hesitantly I meet Sammy’s eyes. She smiles but much like Cole, it isn’t full blown by any means. I hate that my relationship with Cole has inadvertently affected my friendship with Sammy. But I guess that isn’t too surprising since they’re super close.
And she did warn me in the beginning not to hurt him…
Even though Sammy and I are teammates and we’re together three or four times a week practicing and playing games on the intramural hockey team, we were just starting to get to know each other.
And with the way she’s watching me right now, I can only assume that Cole has filled her in on our break up. Sammy’s a pretty formidable chick. She’s not someone I want to have a problem with.
Plus, I really do like her.
It doesn’t escape me that I’ve lost the people I was just starting to count on as part of my support system. Cole. Dr. Thompson. And now Sammy.
Even though I do my best to concentrate on what professor Mullens is lecturing on, it’s impossible. All I can think about is meeting Cole for lunch. I’m dwelling on whether or not I should get my hopes up or if maybe he’s going to tell me that we’re officially through, that he’s ready to move on. And that I should do the same. My belly clenches at the thought of those words spilling from his lips.
When the professor finally dismisses our class, I can’t help but blink my eyes as I look down at my notes realizing that I’ve only taken half a page worth. Usually I type about four pages. Worse- I have absolutely no idea what her lecture even centered on.
Great.
I seriously need to pull my head out of my ass before I fail out of school for a second time.
And this time, there is no doubt in my mind that my parents would actually disown me.
Huffing out a tired breath, I gather up my belongings before making my way out of the lecture hall. When I glance over to where Cole and Sammy were sitting, their seats are empty. Just like I knew they would be.
As expected, the next three hours pass by torturously slow.
I find myself impatiently glancing down at my phone every five minutes hoping that it’s time to head over to the Union. Finally, when I can’t stand it a moment longer, I decide to put myself out of my misery by walking over and grabbing a coffee while I wait.
“Cassidy!”
Hearing my name, I turn to find Luke pushing his way through the crowd to reach me. There’s a big smile lighting up his handsome face.
“Hi, Luke,” I murmur before nipping my lower lip with my teeth. Over the course of the past week and a half, we’ve gotten to be better friends. But still… that’s all we are.
Falling into step next to me, he asks, “You heading over to the Union?”
“Um, yeah.” But I don’t mention that I’m grabbing lunch with Cole. I just want to keep it to myself for the time being.
Because I’ve been spending quite a bit of time with Luke, I’ve learned a lot more about him. Like how incredibly easy he is to talk with and how fun he is to be around. And I probably shouldn’t say this, but I kind of like how protective he is of me. The more time I spend with Luke, the more attractive I find him. And it’s not that I didn’t think Luke was good looking before… because I did. But I guess lately I’ve begun to notice just how handsome he is with his short blond hair, chiseled cheek bones, and pretty blue-gray hazel eyes.
He’s definitely swoonworthy.
And he’s a super nice guy on top of all that. I trust him. I mean, how could I not? He saved me that night.
That being said, I’m still not ready to explore any feelings I might have for him. I’m not completely ready to give up on Cole. Thankfully Luke hasn’t pushed the issue either. It makes me realize what a good friend he’s turned out to be.
“Have you eaten lunch yet?” He asks, breaking into the chaotic jumble of my thoughts.
“No, I was going to grab something now.”
“Great. We can have lunch together.” He elbows me gently in the ribs. And I can’t help but smile in return. “Maybe you can help me with some calc while we’re at it.” The hopeful expression on his face is seriously adorable.
Even though I may not want to, I know I have to tell him why I’m really here at the Union. Feeling suddenly awkward, I clear my throat before blurting out the words. “I’m actually going to meet Cole for lunch.”
One of his brows hitches at that bit of information. He knows Cole and I haven’t spoken in ten days and he also knows just how upset I’ve been about it. “This is a new development.”
Since he doesn’t sound pissed off about us potentially getting back together, it only reinforces in my mind that we really are just friends. Slowly I let out the breath I’ve been holding. “Yes.”
His eyes shift away before he asks, “Are you looking to get back together with him?”
Glancing back over at me, our eyes lock. “I really miss him, Luke.” It’s important for me to be honest because I seem to get myself into trouble when I’m not.
“Then I hope everything works out between you two.” His eyes hold mine and within them I see nothing but genuine sincerity
.
Impulsively I grab hold of his hand and squeeze it as we continue walking. “Thank you. I hope so, too.”
When we finally arrive at the doors of the Union, Luke pulls one open for me. Smiling, I thank him before walking through. Even though I’m early, I’m more than aware of Luke walking right beside me. Luke’s friendship is the reason Cole pulled away in the first place. The last thing I want is to exacerbate the situation by being seen with him.
Glancing around quickly, I don’t spot Cole anywhere. Which is a huge relief.
Even though I feel like a crappy friend, I want this lunch to go smoothly. And so it’s gently that I say, “If you don’t mind, I’m going to wait for Cole alone.”
Thankfully he doesn’t look hurt by my words. “Okay.” With a smile tipping the corners of his lips upward, he leans over before softly pressing a kiss against my cheek. “Text me later and let me know how it goes.”
Grateful for his understanding, I beam a smile at him. I haven’t felt this hopeful about us getting back together since we broke up. “I will.”
Not even a moment later, we say our goodbyes and then he’s gone, swallowed up by the thick crowd. The Union is the hub of activity for the students of Western University. There are about six different restaurants, a book store, a bank and then a couple of different places to hang out with pool tables, foosball, and air hockey. There’s always music playing and sometimes, on the weekends, they have live bands.
Turning in a tight circle, I scan the different crowds of students who have gathered for lunch. And that’s when I spot him sitting on a couch watching me. The breath instantly whooshes out of my lungs as our eyes collide. For a long moment I feel frozen in place.
I can tell by the look on his face that he saw me walk in with Luke. Something painful squeezes my heart because it already feels as if we’re off to a rocky start. Inhaling a deep breath, I give him a small smile and wave before slowly making my way towards him.
It feels as if a heavy cloud is weighing us down and I hate it. Hate that this is now the way it is between us. Our friendship was always so easy. Even when I was fighting my attraction to him, our comradery was effortless.
This feels anything but.
“Hi.”
Saying the word tentatively, I nervously wait for his response. I’m half afraid he’s just going to get up and walk away from me. But thankfully that doesn’t happen. Instead, a small smile spreads across his face, tipping the corners of his lips heavenward. His dimples aren’t showing but I’ll take it. It feels so good to be this close to him again. Even though my fingers itch to reach out and touch him, I don’t.
Still holding my eyes, he stands before extending his hand to me.
My heart leaps as I gingerly place my hand in his larger one. Energy flares as we make contact. It’s always been like that between us. Something flashes quickly in his eyes but he doesn’t comment on it. Instead he clears his throat before asking, “So what are you in the mood for?”
Honestly, I don’t give a crap what we eat. All that matters is that we’re together. “You decide.”
His eyes roam the Union restaurants. For just a moment I’m able to drink him in while he’s preoccupied. “Burgers?”
“Sure.”
As we stand in line, the fledgling conversation between us suddenly stalls. Just as I’m desperately racking my brain for something to say, I hear-
“Oh my God, Cole!”
“We haven’t seen you in forever! Where have you been hiding?”
Two giggling girls bounce their way over to us. Neither one of them bother giving me a second glance. I should amend that statement because I don’t think I ever got a first glance. Feeling stupid, I quietly watch as he gives them both an easy smile. “What are you two up to?”
They give him their best mega-watt smiles before one of them supplies an answer. “We just stopped by for lunch. We’ve got a class at two.”
Not to be outdone, the other one suddenly cuts in, “Hey, we heard you guys are having a huge party this weekend. You need to give us all the details!”
He nods his head before slowly scratching his chin. I can’t tell if he’s uncomfortable or not. I know that I’m feeling pretty damn awkward by this whole interaction where apparently I’m invisible.
“Yeah, we’re having something on Saturday night. You should both stop by, I’m sure it’ll be a good time.”
“Definitely!”
One of them finally slants a look my way before asking, “Is this your girlfriend?”
Cole doesn’t even glance over at me before clearing his throat, “This is my friend, Cassidy.”
Remember that awkwardness I was just referring to?
So much worse now. I seriously want to melt right into the floor. Was I really so delusional as to think we were getting back together? Yeah… I was. Obviously that’s not going to happen.
Even though it feels impossible, I pull my lips up into a thin smile before giving a halfhearted little wave of my hand. “Hi.”
The brunette with gorgeous long wavy hair points to herself, “Hey, I’m Vanessa.” Then she cocks her head towards her blonde counterpart. “And this is Andrea. We’re Taus.”
My brows must draw together in confusion because she quickly elaborates. “Alpha Sigma Tau, that is.”
Of course they’re sorority girls. I should have known. They seem exactly like the bubbly ex-cheerleader types with their huge boobs and tiny little waists and thick glossy hair. And lips that look like they could suck the chrome right off a bumper.
I’m really hoping Cole hasn’t experienced either one of their chrome sucking abilities.
Inhaling a deep breath, I slowly force it out again.
I seriously need to settle.
Even though I would dearly love to pull out all that gorgeous long hair of theirs, I have to remind myself that I don’t, technically, have anything against these girls. In fact, up until five minutes ago, I didn’t even know they existed.
Since I have zero claim on Cole, as he was incredibly quick to point out, he’s fair game. Which is exactly when the one named Vanessa slowly starts stroking her sparkly blue talons up and down his forearm all the while eye fucking him right in front of me.
Literally.
Right in front of me.
Like I’m not even here.
Unable to stomach the sight, my gaze shifts to Andrea and yeah, she’s giving him the come hither eyes as well.
For the love of God, it’s one o’clock on a Wednesday afternoon, people. Get a freaking grip on your hormones.
These two seriously put the ho in hormones…
Or would that be the whore in hormones?
What I don’t understand is if their mentality is- may the best woman win or if they’re just planning to share the spoils (AKA- Cole). The mere thought of them both getting it on with him literally makes me sick to my stomach. Which is precisely when I decide that I’m not sticking around here like some kind of perv watching these two slutbags (Brooklyn’s bad influence) rub up against Cole like a couple of cats in heat. And since he’s not doing a damn thing to deter either one of them from flirting right in front of my damn face, I take that as my cue to leave.
Clearing my throat, I force myself to say the words in a calm voice, “You know what- I thought lunch would work, but I’ve actually got to run.” Before Cole can say anything, I turn to the gorgeous sorority girls at his side.
Again, I have to remind myself that I have absolutely no bone to pick with them.
Oh who am I kidding?
I’d like nothing more than to haul off and bitch slap the pair of them into next week where I can then go and kick their asses all over again. Instead I smile. It may be gritted, but I congratulate myself on holding it together. “It was really nice meeting you two, I’m sure I’ll see you around.”
They both flash their uber-white identical smiles before gushing, “You too!”
And then I’m gone.
As I haul my ass o
ut of there, I hear Cole call my name but I don’t bother turning around. I can’t bear to watch those two big breasted, pouty lipped slutbags fondling him.
To make matters worse, I feel the hot sting of tears burning the back of my eyes. But I’ll be damned if I let them fall. I’ve spent the last week and a half moping around, mourning our relationship and it’s all too obvious that I’m the only one who was hoping we could work things out. If Cole had any interest in getting back together with me, he wouldn’t have let those girls hang all over him.
I’m done.
Done being depressed.
Done trotting out the sad bastard smile.
Cole Mathews can go to hell and take those sorority bimbos with him.
Big breath in. Slow breath out.
Alright, now I’m done.
Chapter Nineteen
Cole
Well shit.
With my brows drawn tightly together, I watch Cassidy race out of the Union like she just found out I have every freaking STD under the sun and I’m asking her for a big naked hug.
I have to admit, in my head I saw this whole-lunch-thing working out a little differently.
Blowing out a frustrated breath, I turn my irritated attention back to Vanessa and Andrea before glaring at the pair of them. “Seriously, what did you go and do that for?”
They both collapse into a fit of giggles. “Because it’s so fun screwing with these girls who want to get a great big taste of Cole.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, well, I was kind of hoping to smooth things over with that particular girl. Up until about a week ago, I was seeing her.”
Vanessa’s eyes grow round as she shoots her friend a look. “Then maybe you should have said something instead of letting me paw you like that in front of her.”
Andrea links an arm through her friend’s, immediately taking up Vanessa’s side. “Yeah, Cole. We just thought she was one of those silly little groupies who are constantly throwing themselves at you. You’re usually more than happy when we intervene on your behalf.”
And normally I am. Vanessa and Andrea come in quite handy. But not this time. “Yeah, well, I think you just blew my chances of getting back together with her to shit.”
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