Before We Knew

by Wasowski, Mary

  “What are you thinking right now?” I silently said to myself.

  A few minutes later, he walked out of his office, and I was left to process everything I heard and always came back to the same conclusion.

  “He will never change, just like a leopard will never change its spots. You almost had me fooled, father. Almost.” I said, in conclusion, closing my laptop and knowing what I had to do next.

  45

  It’s a girl

  Hallie…

  Almost twenty hours of labor later, and my beautiful niece made her way into the world. Bethany Joy Childress weighed seven pounds on the dot with a head full of brown hair. I couldn’t stop crying when the text came through. I was in class, and I had to excuse myself for a minute to send Harry a text in return.

  Leah named her daughter after our mom, what a beautiful way to honor her memory. I sent congratulations to Harry and my sister and stared at the picture one more time before heading back into my session. Once I was home with Ben, we would video chat with them, and I could see the baby up close.

  “This was the longest day ever!” I whined as I climbed the stairs to our flat. “I can’t believe my professor made me stay an additional hour, because I stepped out of class for…what? Five minutes? I thought he would never stop lecturing me on the fine points of decorum in his classroom.”

  “Okay, forget about him. You’re home and with me, so kiss me, and then we will call Leah.”

  “Hello, I love you,” I said as Ben held me in his arms and kissed me so passionately that I already forgot why I was mad.

  “There you are, my girl. If we’re going to call, we better do it now. They’re probably exhausted over there.”

  “You’re right. Let me send Harry a text first.”

  His reply didn’t come through for another fifteen minutes, and then when it did, I was disappointed. He said Leah was asleep and was exhausted from the day of getting the baby to nurse. After a few attempts, my little niece was a champ but pretty much parked herself on my sister’s boob for the rest of the day, making Leah pass out into a deep sleep. I understood and knew she needed her rest. It was a hard pregnancy on her, and I’m just happy she has her little girl.

  What I did get was a video from Harry holding Bethany. I couldn’t even find the right words to describe the joy I witnessed on his face. He clearly was so in love with his daughter. The room was dimmed in low light but enough where I could see them both. The camera panned over to Leah, who was sound asleep, and then back to Harry holding the baby.

  He whispered, “Bethany, say hello to Aunt Hallie and Uncle Ben. They love you very much and can’t wait to meet you in person. Your uncle is British, and I just know you will love his accent, and Aunt Hallie…? Well, she’s going to spoil you like the princess you are. Okay, that’s it for now. We love you.” The video ended, and Ben hugged me tight to his body.

  “Oh, Ben, I want to be there so bad right now. How am I going to get through the next four months without them?”

  “You don’t have to. All you have to do is say the word, and we can be on a plane in an hour.”

  “You would do that, wouldn’t you?”

  “I would do anything for you, Hallie. Don’t you know that?”

  “Yes, baby, I do. Thank you for the offer, but I have school to finish, and I gave Leah my word that I will be awesome at it.”

  “You are awesome in everything you do.”

  “You are full of compliments today. What’s the occasion?” I asked, tickling his sides.

  “I never need a reason when it comes to you. Listen, if you want to fly home for a quick weekend, you have some school holidays coming up. We can jet off to see the baby and come back without you ever missing a class. Why don’t you get the calendar, and let’s see what we’re working with?”

  “Are you sure? I know how busy you are with work, and school takes up so much of my time.”

  “I’m sure. Go get the calendar.”

  I kissed him again and pulled the calendar off the fridge to look over the dates. “Honey, I don’t have time off until Easter, and that’s only three days. It wouldn’t make sense to go home when the semester ends three and a half weeks later,” I said, disappointed and hating my schedule at the moment.

  Ben walked over to read over my shoulder and turned me around in his arms. “Let’s do it. We can leave after your last class, and you can take an extra day off, so you’re not too tired from traveling. Send a note now to your professor, and you have the syllabus and can do the work now, so even missing a day won’t put you behind.”

  “Are you sure, Ben? Don’t you want to spend Easter with your mom?”

  “I see my mother almost daily to the point she’s shoving me out the door. It’s fine, babe, and I really want to go see my niece too.”

  “Okay, let’s book the plane,” I bounced up and down happily.

  “I’ll book the flight. It just won’t be my father’s plane.”

  “Are you okay? I mean, everything okay with your father? You’re kind of doing the shut-down again every time I bring him up lately.”

  “He’s Oliver. What more is there to say? I don’t want you to worry about anything when it comes to him. Everything in regards to my father is where it should be. Now, let’s go to bed, because I want to lose myself in my beautiful girl for a while. How does that sound to you?”

  “Perfect,” and I was lifted into his arms and carried upstairs to our bedroom.

  Ben made love to me for hours and was so gentle at times that I wanted to beg him to be rough and let go. I knew my man so well that no matter how much he told me everything was okay, I knew deep down it wasn’t. We’ve been here so many times when it came to his father, and I always mentally prepared myself for the unexpected when it came down to Oliver. I chose not to push and just be with him tonight. When he finally came, he stayed connected with me for long minutes until he lifted us both into the shower.

  I couldn’t move, and thank the heavens for my chivalrous man who loved to carry me around. He tended to my every need with such care, just like our lovemaking. We both stepped out of the shower and dried ourselves going back to bed naked and holding the other. It didn’t take long for Ben to fall into a deep sleep, and that’s when I balanced on my elbow to watch him for a bit.

  He’s in need of a haircut, I thought as I brushed his hair off his forehead. He didn’t even move when I did it. As I continued to watch him in sleep, I silently said, “I love you, Ben Chapel. You are the light that brings me so much joy in my life, and I want to be the same for you. Whatever your father is doing to you, don’t let him, okay? You are a good man, the best man I know, and you have me right here with you.”

  I placed a kiss on his lips, where I felt the warmth. “I love you, Ben,” I whispered and found my spot.

  I believed he was asleep, and then I heard him say, “I love you too, beautiful girl.”

  The following day, we got to Skype with Leah, Harry, and baby Bethany. She had the cutest cry as Leah sat up in bed, holding her daughter close to her chest.

  “Oh my god, Leah, she is so cute. I just want to reach into the screen and touch her. How do you not spend every waking minute just looking at her?”

  “It’s hard, but I have to sleep when she sleeps. We only just got home, and who knows what kind of schedule we can get her on? In the hospital, they wake the babies up, and the lights in the nursery are so bright.”

  “Well, just keep her on the boobs, and you will be fine.”

  “Gee, thanks,” Leah laughed, and then it was Ben’s turn to say hello.

  Ben talked to Leah and Harry and then made all kind of silly baby sounds to baby Bethany before putting me back on. Of course, I did the same thing. What is it with babies that makes us want to say goo and gah, sounding like babbling idiots just to make them smile? She’s only a few days old, and the baby talk has already begun in full force. I can’t help it. She’s just that cute. We said our goodbyes and promised to Skype soon.

/>   “You okay?” Ben asked me.

  “Yeah, I’m great. I’m going to lunch with your mom today and then shopping for the baby. Your mom wants to send a few gifts to the baby too.”

  “I think that’s great. Have fun and…” he paused.

  “I know, and I promise we will not overdo it.”

  “Oh, darling, this will look lovely on you,” said Lily, holding up a dress for me.

  “It is pretty, but the baby section is that way,” I pointed over to the sign.

  “I know, but let’s treat you first. Don’t argue with me.”

  Lily was definitely a shopping force to be reckoned with, making me try on seven dresses and endless tops and pants she paired together for me. We were shopping in Harrods, and I couldn’t even imagine what all this was costing her. She just waved me off and told the salesperson to box everything up, which included shoes and accessories too.

  “Are you okay?” I asked as she was slowing in her step a little.

  “I’m fine, dear Hallie. This is nothing compared to what my trainer puts me through.”

  “Forgive me, I had to ask.”

  “It’s alright, I know how Ben worries about me, but the truth is, he doesn’t have to. I’m in the best shape of my life in mind and body. I really can’t ask for anything more than this right now, so I will take the blessings when I can get them.”

  “You are so positive, even with everything you’ve been through. How do you do it?”

  “It’s easy. I don’t want to waste any more time for how long I have left.” My stomach dropped, and she covered my hand with hers.

  “I don’t understand, Lily. What do you mean by that?”

  “Nothing you or my son have to worry about. Hallie, may I ask a favor of you?”

  “Sure, anything,” I said as she continued to hold my hand and lovingly look at me. She was a good woman who struggled much in her life. She was kind and loving, reminding me so much of Ben and the all the reasons why I fell in love with him.

  “Take care of my son and allow him to take care of you.”

  “I’m not sure exactly what that means. I love him, Lily, and I will always be there for him.”

  “I know that, and I also know you two have gone through a lot to be together. That being said, I know my health and all my burdens have weighed heavily on Ben, which ultimately affects your relationship and what lies ahead for you both.”

  “We’re fine, I promise you,” I said, determined to make her believe it.

  “I just wanted to make sure, because when the time comes for Ben to leave, I don’t want him to regret his decision because of me. What I want for my son is to be happy in his life and with you. I am overjoyed at the fact that he found you even under the worse of circumstances, for which I will always be sorry. And I know you’re going to tell me not to, but it’s pretty hard to forget. Isn’t it ironic after all these years of missing pieces that the memory of your mom is clear every day in my mind? I wish she was here with you, Hallie, and I am far from a suitable substitute. I’m just thankful we’ve become friends, and just the thought of one day you becoming my daughter-in-law gives me the will to fight to be strong and not take anything for granted.”

  I was in tears at this point, complete makeup running down my face mess. She handed me a silk handkerchief, but I couldn’t ruin it. She placed it in my hand and smiled, refusing to take it back. I used my mirror so I could avoid the mascara and only wipe away the tears. Lily was very special to me, and even with the tears, today was perfect.

  46

  The road home

  Ben…

  As the deadline slowly approached for our big return to the United States, the anxiety I felt over it increased, knowing I was leaving my mother here and all alone.

  She would argue that she wasn't, but I knew better and often I kept that knowledge to myself, knowing it would upset her. She was doing great and has continued to make leaps and bounds with her health, only going into the hospital for a small procedure when her fluid levels raised alarms with her team.

  Of course, she kept it from me and waited to do the procedure until I brought Hallie home to meet her niece. We were only gone for three days, but that's all it took for her little covert operation. My father was a willing participant and also kept the truth from me. I know it probably gave him a sick satisfaction that once again he had private knowledge over something I should have known as their son.

  While I was away, I kept my hidden cameras running to record during the primary hours I knew he would be present in his home office, but then for some reason I had a weird feeling overcome me while I was away and changed it to 24/7. Sometimes my father would work at night or conduct business while the rest of the world slept. I figured if he returned to this habit, I wouldn't miss a thing.

  Once my mother had fully recovered from the NPH, she moved back into their shared bedroom. What they did behind closed doors was their business. She didn't look unhappy, which I took as a positive sign in their relationship. My mother is a beautiful woman who deserves nothing less than to be cherished and loved. He may have been up to his old tricks when it came to me, but as for his wife, he behaved as he should be.

  I heard him mention Innovate Now a few times when I monitored him, but it was the normal inquiries about the company and how well it was doing. Our current projects were moving in the right direction, and our hard work was paying off.

  According to Peter, he had stopped trying to poach our clients away from us and work on his side of the playground, leaving us alone. Or at least, that’s what he wanted me to believe.

  Innovate Now was in talks to land a deal with Media Life, but negotiations fell apart at the end, and all we received was a canned response from their Research and Development team informing us they decided to take their company in another direction. Twenty-four hours later, I discovered they signed with CGI.

  While I was working on new projects to acquire for my company, the news playing in the background caught my attention. Media Life was holding a press conference. After issuing a press release, they called in the press explaining in detail how CGI will continue with their vision for future innovation and technology.

  “Mother fucker!” I shouted and threw the remote across the room.

  As soon as I calmed down, I conferenced with Van the minute the news broke, and he was equally infuriated as I was. It didn’t matter what my father pulled, we had Resource One under an exclusive contract, untouchable by CGI. It gave us some satisfaction after painfully watching the CEO of Media Life gloat over his partnership with my father’s company. After lengthy conversations with Van, we concluded this was my father’s attempt of getting back at us for beating him to the punch with acquiring Resource One.

  After we lost Media Life, I requested a meeting with Peter, using my mother to get him to the house. I hated to do something underhanded, but I needed Peter on neutral ground and away from my father. I met with my godfather while my father was in Hong Kong on business.

  “Lily, I’m here as you requested. I’m starving by the way,” Peter said happily while looking around the empty gazebo in the garden where she asked him to meet. He looked puzzled, and that’s when I stepped out from behind the huge rose bush to greet him.

  “She's not joining us after all,” I said.

  His demeanor changed slightly, but then he straightened his shoulders and unbuttoned his suit jacket, taking a seat at the table. “What's on your mind, Ben? Why don't we drop the ruse of lunch? Why am I here?”

  “I would think that would be obvious, Peter, especially since releasing the press release. Didn't that come from your office? I saw the press conference and who was conducting it, so please don’t insult my intelligence by lying to me.”

  “Yes, I arranged the PR and was in charge of the release. I'm sorry, Ben. My hands were tied.” He looked regretful holding his own.

  His betrayal hurt me deeply, since three months ago over coffee and scones, he asked me about what I was workin
g on, and carelessly, I mentioned Media Life and how close we were to acquire the contract. It was sickening having to sit here, knowing he used our personal relationship, a bond that I cherished, for my father's gain. There was an unfamiliar silence between us as I really didn’t know what to say after Peter confirmed what I had already known he did.

  I paced the patio area that was surrounded by the beauty of my mother’s garden. I didn’t want to feel anything but peace while I was here in this space. I’ve been angry for more days than I care to remember, and looking over at the one person I trusted most, I just let it go.

  “I’m sorry, Ben. I really am.”

  “Yes, you’ve said that already, and I’m inclined to believe you.”

  “But…?”

  “It’s so damn hard when I know you are torn between your loyalty to my father and your love for me, right?”

  “Yes, something like that. Contrary to what you believe at this very moment, I have tried with a great deal of effort to get through to your father. He is a stubborn asshole most of the time, and no matter the hours of advice I give him, he just doesn’t listen. I warned him about his duplicity and begged him to just let you be. I swear to god, if my sister didn’t depend on me the way she does and the love I have for you, I would have quit on him a long time ago. I can’t do it, Ben, so this is me fighting the good fight and winning a few for you.”

  Fuck! How can I feel wronged about anything after what he just said?

  “Are you going to talk to me? Or should I leave?”

  “Thank you,” I uttered.

  “For…?”

  “The good fight. But I’m a grown man, and I have to begin fighting a few of the battles on my own. My father took Innovate Now from me and then gave it back with invisible strings attached to it. In the months since, I have been at the helm and working with Van. I have made a few moves of my own to cut those strings once and for all. You were the one who always taught me about finding the loophole. Well, I found my father’s. You had to know I would, right? I mean, you’re the one who drew up the contracts for the passing of ownership.”