Deceased and Desist

by Misty Simon

  “Actually, I brought a tablet and figured I could email you the links to anything I find important. I wasn’t lugging the laptop over. That thing is ten years old.”

  “You know getting a brand-new one would be a business expense.”

  “And one I’m not willing to pay for since I have my eye on this new espresso machine.” She sat in one chair while I pulled up the other to the table.

  “Make Jeremy buy it for you. Aren’t you coming up on some kind of anniversary? I know, you could make one up! He probably wouldn’t even know.”

  She laughed, but then sighed. “No, no anniversaries yet. I don’t know if we’ll have one. Your brother is a hard fish to keep caught.”

  I really didn’t know if I wanted to hear this, since it was my brother, but she was also my best friend, and we’d always shared everything. “What’s going on?”

  “Oh, he won’t even consider moving in together until some future date when we may, or may not, be married. Apparently, it would look bad for the local funeral home director to be sleeping with someone who isn’t married in the eyes of the church.”

  I nearly choked on my small glass of wine. “He said that to you? And how is that any different from walking over to your house and then hoping he leaves before anyone sees him in the morning? With this town, he has to understand that people know you’re sleeping together, and it’s none of anyone’s business anyway.”

  “Well, I guess different enough according to him. He doesn’t want to sneak anymore. He thinks we should get married. And to be honest, I’m not even sure I want to ever be married.” She held Mr. Fleefers’s face to hers. “I saw my parents’ marriage dissolve, and your marriage, even though it was from the outside. Maybe it’s just not worth it.”

  I’d been thinking the same thing with Max, but hearing the words come out of her mouth automatically made me into the devil’s advocate. “But it can be awesome, and then you’d really be my sister in name and in my heart.” My brain kicked into gear. “Wait, did he propose?”

  It might be a little early for that, and I was pretty sure Gina would have told me as soon as it happened, but you never know if you don’t ask.

  She sighed. “No, he didn’t propose, but he did give some speech about neither of us getting younger, and maybe it’s something we should think about.”

  Not nearly as romantic as Max wanting to come home to an alive girlfriend, but we couldn’t all have the perfect mate. “Meh, let him twirl for a little bit until he realizes that he might not want to make it sound like a last-resort kind of thing.”

  Laughter poured out of her, and I joined her.

  “So, let’s start looking,” I said. “I hope that tablet’s ready for some serious sleuthing.”

  “You know it is. Thanks for letting me in on this one, Tallie. I really want to bring it home to Hammond. He is a jerk. By extension, we should show up Burton, too, since he seems to think that we’re stupid, especially since previously he’s threatened to tell on me to my mom.”

  I had a feeling that was the reason why she wanted to do this, other than just not wanting to be left out. “We’re not going to be able to show Burton up this time.” I avoided her eyes for the moment.

  “What? Why?”

  “Well, first of all, he’s on leave. I’m surprised your mom didn’t tell you that.”

  “She might have,” Gina admitted. “I don’t always listen to everything she says or I’d never get anything done between recaps of her daytime television shows and local gossip.”

  “Well, Burton called and asked me to look into it. Said that he needs eyes on the ground and can’t ask any of the people in the department because he doesn’t want them to get in trouble.” Now I looked at her and found her dander fluffed to the fullest.

  “Are you kidding me? After everything he’s blamed and shamed you for, now he wants you to sleuth against the police for him? Ridiculous.”

  “I partially agree, but it’s at least good to know that we aren’t the only ones who have questions about Eli’s death. I said I’d help. Especially because Burton said that Hammond wants to replace him permanently as our chief of police. Hammond called him incompetent.”

  “How dare he? That’s my family he’s talking about. Oh, now we’re going to hand this to Hammond on a silver platter polished to a shine so bright he’ll go blind.”

  That was my girl. I figured having someone trying to blacklist a family member would get her to agree. And it worked.

  “All right. Here’s the plan. You look for stories about things Eli St. James might have done criminally. I’ll look for background information on him.”

  We both hunkered down over our machines and went to work. A few times she made a noise like she’d found something, but when I asked she said it was nothing. After an hour, all the cheese and wine were gone. We looked at each other and shrugged.

  “Nothing,” she said. “How can there be nothing when Marianne said that people were after him? Wouldn’t he at least have some kind of rap sheet? Or complaints if it had to do with his business dealings?”

  I shrugged again. “Maybe not. There was the whole Darla thing where her true name wasn’t known and all the blackmail was under the table and behind people’s backs. There was nothing on her until we got to the point where we knew who it was. I guess it could all just be verbal threats.” Though in this age of social media, there was usually something on the internet. This guy had very little. A social media page and an old website from when he had been a home inspector before, but that was it.

  “Is this how it always is?” She frowned, tapping her fingers on the table. “I really had this thought that we were going to be like Nancy Drew or Scooby-Doo. Out finding clues and piecing them together. Making everything all right without a second of downtime.”

  I laughed because that was so not how this worked. And normally Burton was far more vocal about me staying out of things, but then again normally he was on the case trying to solve it. Maybe he didn’t always tolerate me, but he wasn’t as mean as this Hammond guy.

  “I don’t know about Scooby-Doo and the man in the mask, but I do know that it’s not all chasing around in the Mystery Machine.” I smiled. “Go home, we’ll see if we can find anything tomorrow. Matt said that Burton asked him to look through a few things, so there’s a possibility that we really can just sit back and watch it unfold. Don’t mention Matt’s involvement to anyone, though, because Burton says it could be seen as stepping on toes if we’re mucking around while Burton’s on leave.”

  “Oh, and if we keep it quiet, maybe he would owe us one,” she said gleefully, bouncing in her chair.

  I laughed because I doubted that. On the other hand, I guess it could be true. I wouldn’t mind one bit having Burton owe me.

  “Besides, you don’t believe that you’ll actually just sit back and watch it unfold.” She picked up Mr. Fleefers, who’d jumped off her lap when she started bouncing. “Tell me honestly that you don’t like the thrill of the chase, the adrenaline of finding things out before Burton. You love it, don’t lie.”

  I thought for a second. Surprisingly, I had never really considered that. The first time I’d solved a murder I was trying to save my own life and find the money to save my finances. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time in several scenarios. The second time they were trying to place the blame on my best friend for a murder she didn’t commit. Since I couldn’t let them do that, I’d stepped in. I didn’t think I did this just to be nosy, though there was definitely a Sherlock Holmes element where I wanted to know the facts. Maybe I really did need a hobby.

  I shut that thought down before it left my mouth. This was not about sticking my nose in where it didn’t belong. This was about finding out who that murdered man lying on a bed at the inn truly was. And I was simply making sure that whoever had done it got their justice.

  With that in my mind I said, “I’m not about besting Burton, I’m about justice.”

  She giggled.
“Like a superhero. Should we get you a code name? A mask? Oh, a cape!”

  I rolled my eyes and threw a pillow at her. “I think we’re done for the night. Why don’t you go home? Go ahead and dream about being Nancy Drew or Daphne, whichever works for you. Then you can call me in the morning and tell me where the body is so we can get started unmasking the villain.”

  Gina hugged the pillow to her chest. “Should I tell your brother I’m helping you before he finds out from someone else? He’s not going to be happy, is he?”

  I scoffed, because, really, what else was there to do? Again, she was a grown woman and didn’t need anyone’s permission. I’d told Max I was looking into this, and he hadn’t told me anything I wasn’t expecting. I chose to ignore him. Well, I hadn’t told him, exactly, but I hadn’t agreed to stay out of it either. It was a gray area, I admit, but I was sticking to it.

  “It’s totally up to you,” I answered. “He’s probably going to have a problem with it, so you might want to consider whether or not it’s worth fighting about.”

  She closed her eyes. “I believe you, and I want to help, though I’m glad I wasn’t the one who found the body. One dead body at the bottom of my staircase is enough for a lifetime. I want to help you, though.”

  “Then tell him.” I shrugged. “What’s he going to do? Cut you off? You’re old enough to make your own decisions.”

  She bit her lips and crushed the pillow. “I’ll tell him tomorrow. Maybe if I have that dream, and we solve it tomorrow, I can tell him after the fact.”

  Gina was still laughing on her way out the door, but I was feeling the pressure. She was going to be whipping me along like a trick pony, and I hoped she wouldn’t be too disappointed if it took longer or if wasn’t easily solved.

  My gut was telling me differently. And I trusted my gut. At least about this.

  Chapter Eight

  With Gina gone, I glanced at the clock. Still early enough to place that call to Taylor, Mrs. Koser’s niece, and see if she knew anything more about fixing the inspections reports. While I believed Mrs. Koser about Eli trying to ask her about a baby, I had no way of researching that. Eli hadn’t shown up under any listings for private eyes and I had a feeling it was a word-of-mouth thing that no one was going to want to confirm.

  “Hello?”

  “Taylor, hi, Tallie here.”

  “Oh, man, did you get your dad to tell Grandma that she has to stop these funeral home rehearsals?”

  Oops, I hadn’t even brought up the subject, but I knew exactly what my father would say so I just channeled him.

  “Unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do. I did ask him to talk to Mrs. Koser, but I don’t believe it will do any good. Sorry about that.”

  She sighed. “No, it’s okay. It was at least worth a try.”

  I scribbled a note to myself to actually ask my father about it tomorrow.

  “Well, thanks, anyway, Tallie. I appreciate the call.”

  “Wait. While I have you on the phone, I wanted to ask about Eli St. James.”

  “Why? What do you want to know? He’s dead, we’re all happy and might actually get fair assessments without him reaching out his greedy paws. I’m fine with that.”

  Would she have done it and was trying to cover up for herself? I doubted it. “So, do you think it was a murder?”

  “I don’t really care either way. I’m just glad he’s dead. We had to pay a pretty penny to get him to assess our last house fairly. I went after his brother, but that guy’s a jerk. He pretended he had no knowledge of previous issues and no matter how much I searched I couldn’t find any evidence of past complaints. Some people dropped their complaints when they got what they wanted anyway. If any did make it to his office, I guarantee they went in the shredder.”

  “Then you don’t know who might have had a grudge against him?”

  “The list of those without a grudge would be shorter. But, no, I have no idea who would have hated him enough to kill him. Sorry I couldn’t be more help.”

  “That’s okay. I appreciate your time. And if my dad can get your grandmother to change her mind, I’ll let you know.”

  We hung up and my shoulders slumped. Where to go next?

  I said good night to Mr. Fleefers, who lifted his tail to me as he strolled away. After turning out the lights, I laid there and couldn’t get the image of Eli lying on the bed with his eyes wide open out of my head. How long had I been out after my fall? Would someone have known that I saw the dead body before I woke up yelling about it? Who had closed the door to the room just as I squeegeed that last spot?

  Someone had closed the door! How had I not remembered that sooner? With the fall and the police and the dead guy I had completely forgotten! Glancing out my front window, I looked across the street to find Gina’s apartment dark. Dang it! I made another note to myself to tell Gina tomorrow.

  I ran through the scenarios of how I had fallen off the ladder and couldn’t come up with anything. It was simply gravity that had messed with me and the ladder. No one had been below me, so they didn’t tip the ladder over.

  Or had they?

  As my eyelids finally drifted shut I thought about that possibility. Had someone tipped the ladder after they’d killed the guy, thinking I’d seen something? Killing two birds in one day? But I’d been lying on the ground for at least a few minutes, from what I understood, and the killer could have finished the job before Rhoda hit me with the bucket of dirty water. If the killer had done that, I wouldn’t currently be lying in my bed wishing Max was next to me so I could talk this through with him.

  Finally, I slept. In my dreams, I was the one who was racing around in the Mystery Machine with my faithful dog looking at mask after mask.

  * * *

  I didn’t get the best night’s sleep, to say the least. That only really happened when Max was here. But I did have a ton of dreams that I remembered and was trying hard to sort through. I didn’t know what many of them meant. I considered asking Ms. Beatrice, our local tarot card reader and palm reader, but I hadn’t visited her in years. The last time, I had wanted to know if I’d truly made a horrendous mistake in marrying Waldo, my nickname for my husband, which he hated when he was alive.

  She’d said absolutely, and I still hadn’t believed her until I found out he was a cheating jerk, both in the bedroom and with money.

  I didn’t need her, though. It was probably just my imagination working overtime, trying to figure out how I could have seen Eli as no one else had.

  Who had been leaving the room when I’d fallen off the ladder? Someone had closed the door, but no one except Rhoda and Arthur had been in the inn, according to Rhoda. Then again, she’d downplayed that Eli had been there, even though she’d been shocked when I had told her someone was inside one of the inn’s rooms. Was that why Rhoda didn’t want me in the room? Had the police truly closed it off? Where would she put whatever guest had booked it for the weekend? If it was ruled a natural death, then she didn’t have to tell anyone and could keep all her reservations. And it was only Wednesday so they still had time to clean everything up.

  Rhoda had said they were going to be full this weekend so guests would have to stay in that room. Would she tell them a man had died there only days before they opened up their suitcases and settled in for a vacation?

  My alarm rang, letting me know I had to get moving. I would think more about it later. Right now, I had to help Letty clean our first house of the day.

  Driving to the Rockwells’, I enjoyed the breeze coming in the rolled-down window and sang along to the radio to distract myself.

  A thought had been running through my gray matter ever since I’d picked up my car, and I desperately wanted it to go away. Maybe Rhoda wanted it to be a heart attack to cover up the fact that she’d killed him. She’d thought I was gone until I screamed. Maybe Arthur had called to her for something after she killed Eli and she had closed the door figuring she could come back and clean up the room after she’d dealt with A
rthur. No one else should have been in the house, and she thought I was no longer on the property, so it would have been the perfect crime.

  But I couldn’t imagine Rhoda killing anyone, especially not by breaking a neck. I would have considered Arthur as a suspect first. Except Arthur was rolling around in a wheelchair, so how would he have been able to reach up and do that, then lay the body out on the bed so perfectly? And the person I saw close the door was walking.

  I had heard cars pulling up in the drive when I was up on the ladder. Maybe Eli had agreed to meet someone at the inn and things had gone downhill fast from there. But wouldn’t Rhoda have known he was there? She had seemed as surprised as I had to hear that he was in her inn. Had she faked that surprise?

  I needed to let this go until I finished with the first house.

  For the most part, things were right in my world for the first time in a long time, and I tried hard to be thankful for that every day. I had a roof over my head, one I didn’t have to scream in unless I was watching a particularly scary movie or was trying to wax my legs on my own. I had a car that worked, parents who could be a pain but loved me. Siblings who were also a pain—I sensed a theme here—but they also loved me as I loved them. Good friends. And Max.

  The glow I got from just thinking his name made me hesitate, but I went with it. He was good to me and for me, and I couldn’t wait to see him again.

  There, I thought it and meant it. If that made me a little nervous, then maybe it was actually meant to be this time. I’d run away from life with Waldo to escape the path I thought I had to go down. This time I was choosing to make my own path.

  All the money from Waldo’s secret stash was gone and I was working both my jobs to make ends meet, but I didn’t mind. It was honest work, and that was also good.

  Pulling up at the Rockwells’, I was surprised to see that Letty hadn’t shown up yet. I couldn’t clean by myself. I’d agreed to meet her to help with some of the more minor things since I had asked her to pretty much take all my jobs and keep up with her own. We’d moved a few but not many since Letty was excited to have the extra money.